Look Who's in Treble
by VeronicaSummers
Summary: After Chloe's confession at the retreat, Beca overhears a conversation and makes some assumptions about what Chloe meant by "experimenting." This is going to start off Bechloe, perhaps with a bit of Chaubrey thrown in, but Triple Treble is the end game. Cover Image by @bechloe-beatchell on Tumblr.
1. Chapter 1

The electronic ping of a cell phone disturbed Beca's slumber. Her mind was still fuzzy with sleep, and her eyes could not yet open, but she felt movement on her left side, accompanied by the rustling sound of a jostled sleeping bag. A swift chill quickly followed as her brain registered the loss of the body next to hers. She willed her eyes open just in time to catch a glimpse of the red head's back as she exited the tent.

 _Weird_ , she thought. _Where is she going?_

She felt the urge to follow her friend. She shouldn't be venturing alone into the woods in the middle of the night. Who knows what's out there? Thoughts of wild animals and creepy strangers flooded her mind… and didn't Aubrey mention something about bear traps? Yes, she should really follow Chloe, just to be sure she's safe.

But as Beca began to unzip her sleeping bag, she heard the sound of footsteps circumnavigating the tent. They came to a stop directly in front of her and Beca stared at the wall of the tent, as if looking hard enough would allow her to see through it to the girl on the other side. But she had no such luck. There wasn't even a shadow of the figure beyond.

She heard a muffled voice mutter "hey" from beyond the canvas barrier. The voice was familiar, but it wasn't Chloe's. She couldn't quite place it from the one word utterance.

Chloe's voice came next. " _Hey._ "

There was a long silence before the first voice spoke again. " _So…? Are you gunna tell me what happened?"_

Beca would recognize that agitated tone anywhere. _Aubrey_. She could practically see the blonde folding her arms across her chest, tapping her foot in an exasperated demonstration of her impatience. What was Chloe doing sneaking out to talk to the former captain in the middle of the night?

 _"_ _I tried, Bree. She didn't bite,"_ Chloe sighed. " _She literally told me I was weird and turned her back on me_." The red head's voice sounded both a little shocked and wholly sad to Beca. It was very un-Chloe, and Beca didn't like that one bit. … _Wait, what?_ It took a moment for the fog in the DJ's brain to dissipate, for her to realize… _Holy shit. She's talking about me!_

She flashed back to that moment, just a few hours ago, when Chloe offered her a backrub and then made a weird – yes, _weird_ , because there really wasn't another, more accurate, word for it – comment about how she regretted not having "experimented" more during her 7 years at Barden. _She was serious about that?_ Like, what did that even mean? "Experimented?" "Experimented" with what?

Beca's attention was pulled back to the wall of the tent as Aubrey pressed Chloe for more information. " _But what did you_ _ **say**_ _to her? What did you_ _ **tell**_ _her?"_

 _"_ _Nothing! I just told her I regretted not experimenting more in college. I literally didn't tell her anything."_

 _"_ _Oh my God, Chloe. "Experimenting?" Really?! That's what you said?"_

Perhaps for the first time ever, Beca and Aubrey were on the same page. I mean, it was a fucking _weird_ thing to say. And, at the time, Beca honestly didn't think much of it. Chloe had always been weird. I mean, the red head literally barged into her shower stall the second time they ever spoke. She had been completely naked, and completely vulnerable, and Chloe didn't show one ounce of understanding that joining a stranger in the shower was a totally **_not normal_** and **_not acceptable_** behavior. But, of course, as Beca had gotten to know the girl over the years, she had come to understand that that was just Chloe being Chloe. Completely unaware of social norms and 100% unfiltered are two phrases synonymous with Chloe Beale's very existence.

So, no. Beca really didn't think anything of that weird comment. Until now. Because sneaking out in the middle of the night to discuss it with your best friend certainly makes it seem like it must have meant **_something_** _._

" _I said something about how this trip was going to bring us closer together, let us find out everything about each other_ ," Chloe sounded defensive. " _And then, yeah, I said I regretted not_ _ **experimenting**_ _more."_ She sounded, like, _really_ defensive. " _What's wrong with that?!"_

 _"_ _Chloeee…"_ Aubrey's tone was patronizing, and Beca took a brief moment to wonder if the blonde had a tone of voice that was neither annoyed nor condescending. The brunette honestly could not remember a time when the sound of her words had landed anywhere else on the spectrum. Well, maybe that one time when Aubrey had let the Bellas see just a pinprick beyond the façade, into her true, emotional self, when they were all making confessions about themselves to each other. But _barely_. Because if Beca remembered correctly, she still sounded pretty irritated as she revealed the tiniest bit of truth about her relationship with her father.

 _"_ _This is Beca we're talking about,"_ Aubrey continued, _"Emotionally stunted and unaware Beca."_ The DJ scoffed at that. Sure, she could be a _little_ closed off emotionally – okay, fine, a lot closed off emotionally – but she'd come a long way in the last 4 years, with help from Chloe and the rest of the Bellas. And Jesse, too. Her relationship with Jesse had opened her up in all sorts of ways. And really, who was _Aubrey_ to talk about emotionally stunted? What's that they say about pots and black kettles again?

She heard a signature, frustrated sigh on the other side of the tent. _"I think you're gunna have to spell it out for her a bit more, Chlo."_ Spell it out for her? Man, Aubrey was coming at her from all sides. Not only was she emotionally stunted, but apparently she was also stupid.

Beca tried to remain unaffected by this particular insult, though. She really **_didn't_** know what Chloe was trying to say earlier. So, in a way – as much as it pained Beca to admit it to herself – Aubrey was right. She was going to need this one spelled out for her…

But Chloe had more faith in her intelligence, it seemed. " _What I said was_ _ **not**_ _subtle. It was a very obvious come on."_

Beca's brain froze for a long moment; her breath caught, and her mind went blank. She took a shallow, steadying breath and then began to process Chloe's words slowly, like an old computer just booted up after a week without use. _A…come on…? Chloe was… trying to flirt with me? Like…_ _ **seriously**_ _flirt with me? So when she said "experiment," what she meant was… oh…_ "Oh!" she exclaimed audibly, as the realization finally dawned on her. Her hands flew to cover her mouth as she gasped, praying silently that Aubrey and Chloe didn't hear her little outburst.

 _"_ _Do you really think she would have reacted the way she did if she understood what you meant?"_ Aubrey's voice was tinged with something that sounded alarmingly like empathy. And it was a bit jarring to Beca. She'd never heard Aubrey sound quite as somber, quite as _compassionate_ as she sounded right now. She sounded loving, maybe even tender, and…a little bit afraid. It was strange to the brunette's ears. It sounded like Aubrey Posen might have some sort of soul, or something. _Couldn't be…_

She heard Chloe release a slow, shaky breath. _"I… I don't know. I really hope—"_ The red head's voice cracked, and she stopped short. She sounded completely dejected. Her voice was filled with a sad hopelessness, despite her words to the contrary. And on the other side of the tent, Beca's heart ached for her. She didn't mean to upset Chloe. She would never intentionally hurt the other girl. Chloe was her best friend. And she loved her. Had she understood what Chloe meant in that moment, she liked to think that she would have been supportive of her feelings, even if she couldn't reciprocate them. Though, if Beca was being honest, she knew her reaction probably wouldn't have been much different. Beca _had_ come a long way in 4 years, but nobody's perfect. She never claimed to have completely taken down the walls that she had spent 18 years building up. And she knew that, despite wanting to be a good, supportive friend in that moment, those walls in conjunction with her sarcastic attitude, total social awkwardness, and the shock of the revelation would have, at best, led her to laugh directly in Chloe's face.

But Beca was now outside of that particular moment, and she had pieced together what Chloe was driving at with her weirdness. So the question was: how was she going to react _now_? Now that she knew? Now that she understood? Now that she had a moment to thoughtfully formulate her reaction?

 _"_ _I know, sweetie,"_ came Aubrey's soothing voice. _"I know." Soothing?_ Beca thought. _Who is this Aubrey imposter!?_

There was a long pause, during which Beca wondered if their conversation had ended. Then, more logically as Chloe had yet to return to her sleeping bag, she feared that the two had moved out of earshot. But after some time, Aubrey began to speak again. _"I think it's worth giving it another try, Chloe. Just be really specific with her. See how she reacts this time."_

Chloe's response was a tentative "yeah," and Aubrey continued: _"I don't think you're completely off-base on this one. I haven't known your gut instinct to be wrong before… Just be patient with her."_ Another pause. _"Now take a deep breath…"_ Aubrey took a breath herself, and Beca heard Chloe join in. _"And out,"_ she said, and the both gave a long, slow exhale.

 _"_ _Okay?"_ Aubrey asked.

 _"_ _Okay."_ Then Beca heard the sound of lips lightly smacking. And it must have been Chloe, giving the blonde a kiss on the cheek to say goodbye. That was the only thing that made sense. Beca had never known Aubrey to be the kind of girl to kiss her friends in greeting, but Chloe, on the other hand, was constantly invading her friends' personal bubbles with her effervescent affection.

Beca could have sworn that she heard a soft moan, but before the thought could even really register in her mind, she wrote it off as the din of the woods.

 _"_ _Now get back to bed. Tomorrow's gunna be tough, I can promise you that."_ Aubrey's commander-in-chief tone had returned and Beca felt much more comfortable with the sound, though she suddenly remembered where she was, and why she was here, and yeah, Beca was so _not_ looking forward to the hell she knew she'd be put through tomorrow.

Another noise followed, like a slap, and then the distinctive sound of Chloe Beale's giggle echoed against the trees. Beca followed the patter of Chloe's footsteps as she returned to the entrance of the tent. The DJ's eyes snapped shut at the rustle of the canvas. She couldn't let the other girl know she was awake, couldn't let her know that she may have overheard that entire conversation. No, pretending to be asleep was really her only option.

She could feel Chloe's body shimmy into the sleeping back next to her. She waited patiently for the sound of the girl's head hitting the pillow, but it never came. Instead, Beca felt the feather-light touch of long fingers sweeping a loose strand of hair from her forehead.

"Beca?" Chloe softly whispered, and Beca did her best to keep her composure. She wasn't sure if she should react, if she should acknowledge the girl's presence, or if it was better to ignore her, and pretend to be deep into her REM cycle. She felt immobilized by the choice, which ultimately made her decision for her.

For what seemed like a long moment, fingers scratched delicately against her hairline. She heard Chloe softly inhale, and then felt the warm press of lips against her forehead. Her muscles tensed at the contact and she hoped Chloe didn't notice. _Oh my God, what is happening?!_

Chloe pulled away and Beca began to once again debate the realities of whether or not a sleeping body would respond in some way to this kind of exchange. Should she shift? Should she make some sort of noise in acknowledgment? What would be most believable in this circumstance?

But her choice was, once again, made for her when she felt Chloe's lips press gently against her own. Beca involuntarily let out a soft exhalation and the sound, thought Beca, was vaguely reminiscent of a quiet moan. Embarrassment quickly flooded her and already tense muscles managed to clench even further. Surely Chloe couldn't ignore this reflexive reaction to the kiss. Beca was certain she'd been found out, caught in the act of feigning sleep.

But, to Beca's surprise, when Chloe pulled back, she once again felt fingers stroke through the hair at her scalp. _She didn't notice._ Chloe sighed before quietly murmuring, "Good night, Becs." And then Beca heard the sound she had awaited earlier, the sound of Chloe's head pressing into her pillow. She felt the other girl shift, turning onto her side, presumably away from Beca. So the brunette chanced a look. She slowly opened her eyes and was met with the sight of the back of Chloe's head, her fiery locks just as loose and untamable as ever.

Her brow furrowed as she mouthed silently, exasperatedly, to herself: _What the fuck?!_ And it took everything in her power to contain all of the hand gestures that should accompany a noiseless exclamation like that.

* * *

 **A/N:** _Hey all. I hope you enjoyed this first chapter! I'd absolutely love your feedback on this one, as I don't have the whole thing planned out just yet. What did you like about it? What might you like to see? Any and all constructive criticism is totally welcome!_

 _Unlike with my last story ("And I Sure Would Like Some Sweet Company"), I'm not going to create a regular posting schedule for this one. Chapters will come out as I write them... and I may be inclined to write a bit faster if I know you nerds are interested in seeing more. So please, please, please let me know what you think! :)_


	2. Chapter 2

**_A/N:_** _O M aca G, you guys. Thank you all for the outpouring of support on this one. All the favs, follows, and reviews after only one chapter was inspiring. You sure know how to make a lady feel special. :) Anyway - ask and ye shall receive. Here is chapter 2!_

* * *

Needless to say, Beca didn't catch a whole lot of zzzs that night. Her brain was running a million miles a minute as she did her best to process this new information. Chloe wanted to experiment, in a sexual way, with Beca. Was there anything stranger than that sentence? Beca was overwhelmed with disbelief. I mean, the thought was _completely_ insane! Chloe had gone straight to Crazy Town, without passing Go, and without collecting 200 dollars.

Sure, Chloe spent most of her time invading the personal space of others. She was a close-talker and the phrase "touchy-feely" didn't even begin to cover how physically affectionate she could be. And, yeah, Chloe was _incredibly_ comfortable with her sexuality. She had no shame in discussing such things, and was never embarrassed about acting on those sorts of urges publicly. She refused to cover hickies, instead opting to wear them with pride like sexual badges of honor. The red head would often compare notes with Stacie, much to Beca's dismay, in shared spaces of the Bellas House and in front of all the other girls. Fat Amy would throw in her two cents here and there, and tell a few outlandish tales of sexual conquest all her own.

It should come as no surprise that all of these things made Beca _very_ uncomfortable. She was a private person and believed that all matters pertaining to someone's personal sex life should remain, well, private. She didn't want to hear about the day Stacie had sex 14 times in 12 hours. She didn't want to hear about that time Fat Amy boned a guy in a vat of Jell-o after a particularly heated wrestling match. She didn't want to hear about the animal-like sounds that escaped Tom's throat when Chloe nibbled at his ear lobe. And she most certainly didn't want to talk about what it was like having sex with Jesse. She didn't want to talk about it with anyone. Not even with Jesse.

But that never stopped the Bellas from asking… constantly, shamelessly, incessantly. The truth about sex with Jesse was that it really wasn't something to write home about. It was _good_ , but it was nothing special. Beca's relationship with the Treble was based more strongly on friendship and love than on sex. And that seemed right to Beca, seemed normal. They were endlessly supportive of one another, especially when it came to their career ambitions. That was exactly what Beca needed. She needed a cheerleader and a great teammate, someone she could rely on to bail her out of a jam (sometimes literally, she thought with a smile, flashing back to those few hours she spent in the Big House their freshman year). She didn't need a great lover.

Which is why when Jesse suggested putting things on hold before he left for film school, she didn't find herself particularly heartbroken. Jesse was still on her side. He'd still be there to support her however and whenever she needed him to. And, of course, she'd do the same for him. The break from more traditional "girlfriend duties," including sex, actually came as quite the relief to Beca. She had other, much more important things to focus on. Like her internship, Worlds, and, you know, with graduation from Barden quickly approaching, what she was going to do with _the rest of her life_ was a pretty big stressor. And when she ultimately found herself in L.A., where Jesse was in film school, they'd pick up right where they left off. It was really kind of perfect.

All of this to say, sex was not particularly important to Beca Mitchell. She didn't spend a whole lot of time thinking about it, let alone _doing it_ , and she spent exactly _zero_ minutes talking about it. So this whole _thing_ with Chloe's experimentation fantasies was particularly weird, to Beca, who had never really spent any amount of time thinking critically about her own sexuality.

It seemed to Beca that the very thought of being intimate with Chloe should disgust her. She thought she should have some sort of screaming, visceral "no way in hell" reaction. But she didn't. In fact, she was almost reaction-less. The idea wasn't repulsive, but it's not like it excited her either. Maybe she was still too stunned by the revelation of it to respond properly.

The problem was, Beca felt that Chloe deserved a response, an honest one, and she deserved it sooner rather than later. If Beca were to believe that Chloe was going to follow Aubrey's guidance, she'd be hearing about this topic from the other girl again soon. Probably very soon. She'd at least like to be prepared for that moment. Though ideally, she would beat the red head to the punch.

The whole ordeal – as in, Beca trying to identify her own emotions and then put words to those feelings – plagued Beca all day. This wasn't something she was good at. This is the kind of thing she'd normally go to Chloe to ask for help with. And the fact that that wasn't an option was so completely unfair, it had the brunette on edge. Combine that with her lack of sleep, the pressure to come up with a demo her boss wouldn't hate, and the severity of the current situation with the Bellas and you've got a pretty perfect recipe for Beca's total meltdown that day. It was just too much. Everything was too much. And, in classic Beca style, she decided that bailing was her best option. She wasn't sure how she'd make it back to campus, but she knew that she had to get gone. Stat.

An unexpected entanglement with a bear trap was basically the only thing that could have stopped her from leaving. Thank goodness the Lodge at Fallen Leaves was littered with them, because if Beca had learned anything in her 4 years at Barden, it was that bailing was never the answer. It always did more harm than good, both to Beca and to the people that she cared about most. Yes, bailing was a thing of the past for Beca Mitchell. Or so she liked to think.

So she felt really badly about blowing up at Chloe. She felt guilty about keeping her internship a secret from her (and from the rest of the girls) and she regretted implying that there were more important things than the bond of Bella sisterhood. It simply wasn't true. She could count on these girls for anything… which is what gave her the idea to ask Emily to collaborate with her. After the moment around the camp fire, all of the stressors – well, all of the stressors except one – felt pretty resolved, at least for the moment. The girls had "rediscovered their sound" and Beca felt confident they were going to put together a kickass set; she and Emily were going to create a demo that would hopefully wow her boss, or at the very least not disappoint him. Things were primed to move in the right direction, and a weight was lifted off Beca's shoulders. She felt like she could breathe again, though she hadn't been entirely aware that she was holding her breath in the first place.

This left her with only one pressing issue. What was she going to tell Chloe about this whole "experimentation" thing? Beca would be lying if she didn't acknowledge how full of remorse she felt after the argument with her best friend. It made her feel like she had to make it up to Chloe in some way. Like she had to do something for her, as an apology… because Beca Mitchell found herself so rarely capable of simply uttering the words "I'm sorry" in that particular order.

She can't say that her guilt didn't influence her decision. It certainly did. But how much it influenced her decision was anyone's guess, really. Did she want to do this thing with Chloe? Well, she's didn't _not_ want to do it. Though she definitely needed to know what the ground rules were and the extent to which Chloe would like this experiment to go. The DJ felt she could pretty easily fathom kissing. And she felt like if Chloe wanted to touch her, feel her, that might be okay. But everything else her brain could think of made Beca feel weird, made her feel nervous and a little hot. She hoped that what she was willing to offer would be enough for Chloe. Then she started to panic. _What if it wasn't?_

She reminded herself to breathe. She really was jumping the gun here. She'd have to talk it out with Chloe. She reassured herself that Chloe was her friend, and she would never be mad at Beca for not wanting to do something. She'd just have to be up front and remain honest. She'd have to be both ready and willing to discuss all of this.

But that had Beca a bit worried. Talking about this stuff wasn't really her strong suit. But she'd never been more open with another person as she was with Chloe, not even with Jesse. There was something about the red head that had worked its way behind Beca's fortress-like walls, had seeped beneath her skin, had crawled right into her and taken up occupancy in her chest cavity. Chloe had forged through it all before Beca even had time to notice. If she could manage to have a dialogue with anyone about things that were sexual in nature, it'd be with Chloe.

And that's what Beca kept telling herself as she lay once again on the cold, hard ground of the tent, her best friend once again by her side. She listened carefully for Lily's steady breath beside her, listened for Amy's raucous snoring from the far side of the tent, listened for Cynthia Rose's gruff mouth breathing. She had to make sure all of the girls were truly asleep before she could say anything to Chloe. But after a solid hour, when she was certain each girl was fast asleep, Beca couldn't bring herself to say anything at all. Her brain told her muscles to move, but they didn't respond. She took a deep breath through her nose, holding it in for a moment before releasing it slowly through her mouth.

For a long moment, she sat still, listening to the symphony of breaths and snores surrounding her. Then, she willed herself to turn on to her side and was met with the extraordinary sight of Chloe's profile. The redhead looked so peaceful, so perfect, lying there. It was as if she was made of porcelain, a work of art that stole the brunette's breath away, and left her mouth dry. She reached out an arm and pressed gently on Chloe's shoulder.

"Chloe…?" Her voice was so soft she almost didn't recognize it. When no response came, she pushed the girl's shoulder a little harder and repeated a hair louder: "Chloe?"

The red head's muscles flexed in her sleeping bag. A quiet, slightly confused, hum escaped her as her body twisted. Beca saw the strain of her eyelids trying to open. She was awake, or at least almost so.

"Um, Chloe?" she questioned a third time. The slight nod of the woman below her gave her all the permission she needed to continue talking. "You know, um, that thing you – uh – said yesterday?"

Chloe's vibrant, blue eyes snapped open and flashed instantly to Beca's. There was something in them that Beca didn't quite recognize, like fear, but a fear that manifests itself in pure fortitude. The kind of fear that compels someone to experience a surge of courage.

But Chloe said nothing. She just stared at Beca, blinking only once. The brunette tried to form words, but her mouth felt full of cotton. She opened her mouth just to close it again. She was having a mental block on the "experimenting" word. For some reason, she just couldn't say it. Chloe knew what she was referencing, though. Based on her reaction, Beca was pretty certain of it and so she continued on without the word.

"Were you – uh – were you, like… serious about that?" she managed.

A brilliant smile spread slowly across Chloe's face. Something in her eyes sparkled, and she looked downright giddy. _She looks so very… Chloe_. Warmth flooded Beca's cheeks, and she hoped it wasn't a visible reaction. The way Chloe looked made her feel uncomfortable and she shifted awkwardly, breaking eye contact. _Why isn't she saying anything?_

As soon as the thought registered in her mind, Chloe began to speak and Beca's eyes instantly flickered back to the girl. "Yeah, Becs," she said. "Like, of course I did." Chloe's voice was hushed and gravelly. From sleep, Beca guessed, but the sound of it twisted Beca's insides. She felt a little sick and swallowed hard.

"I mean," Chloe continued, "who wouldn't want to experiment with you?" She raised a hand and brushed her fingers gently down Beca's cheek, whose eyes fluttered shut at the contact. "Just look at you. You're beautiful."

The sincerity in Chloe's tone clenched tightly in Beca's chest, like a clamp on her heart. Her brain felt tingly. She was light-headed, almost dizzy and, frankly, she didn't know what to say. Her physical response was surprising, to say the least, and she absolutely couldn't stop it. She couldn't remember ever feeling quite like this before, and she honestly wasn't sure what to make of it. This was all so… so… _weird_. _What the fuck is happening to me?_

She opened her eyes and looked back down at Chloe, who was looking at her like…like… Beca didn't even know. She'd never seen Chloe look that way before. She didn't recognize it. She couldn't make sense of it. She had no idea what was happening, but before her head could catch up, could reason again and tell her to stop, she was leaning down, touching her lips to Chloe's. A few long seconds passed that way. The moment felt frozen in time, to Beca. The noise of the girls surrounding them had faded completely, as had Beca's acknowledgment that they even existed. All Beca's brain could process was the feather light touch of Chloe's lips against hers. It was strange, so very strange, the way everything else had just completely fallen away.

Time began to move again as Chloe pressed her lips up into Beca's. A breathy sound she couldn't stop parted her lips as it escaped her. The red head took this as some sort of invitation, and sucked Beca's bottom lip into her mouth, sliding her tongue gently across it with a quiet, restrained moan. The pitch of it was surprisingly high and it temporarily took Beca out of the moment. It was a mental reminder that the person beneath her was female, was Chloe. And it was weird, but also not _so_ weird? It wasn't bad, just… different. Chloe's hands rose to cup the sides of her face, fingers tangling into her hair as they gently dug into the flesh behind her ears. Beca felt the heels of her hands press against her jawline and a sense of panic began to seize her body, but then Chloe's tongue licked into her mouth and the panic was quickly replaced with something else. It was a feeling Beca instantly recognized but she delayed the acknowledgement of it for a minute longer, instead opting to reciprocate and groaned at the way Chloe's tongue felt against her own. Their lips moved effortlessly against each other as their tongues danced. And Beca… enjoyed it. This weird feeling that accompanied kissing her best friend. And she allowed herself to enjoy it as her right hand gripped tightly around Chloe's shoulder, trying impossibly to push the other woman further into the pillow. The side of Chloe's hip brushed against her as the red head shifted with an almost pathetic sounding whine.

What must have been a particularly loud snore from Fat Amy rang through Beca's ears, and suddenly all the thoughts she was holding back came tumbling down around her. The sudden realization of where she was, what she was doing, and who she was doing it with hit her like a bucket of ice cold water. Beca immediately pulled her mouth away from Chloe's, who emitted an odd squeak at the loss of contact. The brunette's fingers flew to her own lips in the shock of the moment. Her brow furrowed as confusion ran rampantly through her, shattering everything like a bull in a china shop. She looked down at Chloe, whose eyes opened and stared back at her, something like joy but also like mischief burned brightly within them. The older girl donned a stupidly large grin and she raised her eyebrows suggestively at Beca.

The brunette couldn't believe the audacity of it, the teasing confidence the other girl was sporting. She flung out an arm, swatting Chloe's shoulder rather forcefully.

"Ow!" was the hushed exclamation she got for the attack.

But Beca just looked down at her incredulously. Then quietly, but still conveying every ounce of complete hysteria she was feeling, she harshly whispered, "What the _FUCK_ , dude?!"


	3. Chapter 3

Beca was more than grateful to be headed back to Barden, back to actual civilization. If the Lodge at Fallen Leaves had taught her anything, it was how thankful she was for the modern plumbing system. A hot bath would be the first thing on her docket upon return to the house. And if any of the other Bellas tried to get to the bathroom first? Screw them. She was captain.

Beca had to concede, though, that Chloe was right. The retreat was just what the girls needed to get them back on track. The energy of the Bellas bus on their return trip from the convention performance was a thing of the past. The air had been cleared and the motley crew had managed once again to unify themselves. There was a new-found confidence amongst the group. They were proud. They were ready. They were going to kick some German ass. Beca was certain of it.

While Beca was eager to return to the civilized world, a part of her would miss this place. It pained her to admit even to herself – and she certainly wasn't about to admit it out loud to anyone else – that she had really enjoyed the time she spent here with the women who, over the past four years, had become her family. She knew the memories created here were of that priceless variety, knew she'd never forget them.

But, like all things in life, the trip had to come to an end. The girls headed for the parking lot and were met by Aubrey. The former captain stood by the bus and each Bella, in turn, bid her goodbye before piling in.

As Beca approached the blonde, she noticed an odd glint in her eye. She sort of looked like she was going to cry and the edges of her mouth were turned down in a sweet sort of frown. It was a weird look and Beca wasn't quite sure what to make of it.

"Uh – thanks, dude. For, like, everything." Beca's fingers were wrapped tightly around the strap of her bag at her shoulder as she took a step forward. She attempted to look at Aubrey, but that strange sparkle in her eyes made Beca feel uncomfortable. She diverted her gaze to the ground almost immediately.

"Beca," Aubrey's voice was soft and kind, not unlike that empathetic sounding voice she had overheard the other night. Beca felt the blonde's hands connect with the skin of her upper arms, exposed by the green tank top she was wearing. Fingers curled around her bicep and gave a gentle squeeze. Beca's eyes flicked up, back to Aubrey's, who continued: "I'm really proud of you."

The brunette couldn't stop the laugh that escaped her. Her eyebrows shot up, eyes wide in shock, as she gave a slight shake of her head. "What?!" _Suspicion confirmed: This is an Imposter Aubrey Posen._

Aubrey sighed and Beca could practically hear the eye roll the blonde was suppressing. "I'm serious, Beca!" She paused, but her hands never left the DJ's shoulders. "You've come a long way in four years. I wasn't your biggest fan when I first saw you at the Activities Fair…" Beca scoffed, loudly and pointedly. How could she not? If that wasn't the world's biggest understatement, she didn't know what was. But Aubrey brushed off the sound with a tilt of her head, "…what with your bad attitude, and your tattoos, and that horrible ear monstrosity…"

"Dude, is this you trying to pay me a compliment? Because you're super good at it," Beca spat sarcastically.

The blonde gave another exasperated sigh, but persevered through Beca's insolence. And Beca had to silently commend her for that. It was unlike Aubrey not to engage when beca was acting like an impertinent brat. _Maybe_ she's _the one who's come a long way in four years…_ "All I'm trying to say is… Chloe saw something in you that day. Something I couldn't see at the time, but I can see it now. And I'm proud of you."

Aubrey stopped and rubbed her hands slowly down and then back up the upper half of Beca's arms. The two stared at each other for a long moment. Beca felt awkward. She didn't know how to respond. She didn't know how to deal with a _genuinely kind_ Aubrey Posen any more than she knew how to deal with Chloe Beale kissing her. This retreat had been a truly odd experience for Beca… definitely one for the books.

"Um, thanks," she managed to utter. She knew it was the polite thing to say, the right thing to say, so she went with that.

The blonde removed her hands from Beca's arms and leaned back ever so slightly, her eyes flickered down, then back up, and Beca was met with a knowing smirk that seemed so…so…pleased? And a little bit surprised, too. It was kind of… adorable?

 _Aubrey? Adorable?! …shake it off, Mitchell._

Then Aubrey was speaking again, and though she was looking directly at Beca, she was almost muttering to herself. "Chloe was right. You make us better." And Beca wasn't quite sure what that meant, but she thought that was okay, since she wasn't certain the comment was really intended for her anyway.

"Right," Beca said, taking a firm step back. "Well, thanks. For everything. And uh – see you around."

But despite her best efforts to get away from whatever weirdness just happened, Aubrey surged forward and wrapped Beca into a tight embrace. "I hope so," the blonde whispered. Her voice was husky and her mouth was centimeters from Beca's ear. She could feel the breath of Aubrey's words hot against her. It sent a brief chill through Beca, who instantly moved to push her former captain away.

"Yeah, um. Me too, Posen." She shuffled quickly onto the bus, throwing one last "thanks" over her shoulder without looking back. Beca collapsed into a seat and shut her eyes tightly. _What in the hell is going on with everyone?!_ With a shake of her head, she reopened her eyes and dug into her bag for her laptop and headphones. She turned on the computer screen, plugged her head phones in, and waited patiently for her mixing program to open. She knew she had to at least attempt to distract herself from what had gone down between her and Chloe last night.

As she waited for the program to open, she chanced a glance out the window, back at Aubrey. The red haired captain was the last Bella to say goodbye and Beca watched them carefully as they conversed. She couldn't hear what they were saying, and from where she was sitting she could only see Aubrey's face, but the exchange seemed to be an excited one. Aubrey was smiling and nodding her head and Chloe was practically bouncing in place. A cloud moved and Beca was faced with the bright gleam of the sun against the glass window of the bus. She winced, and turned her head away for a moment. When she looked back, her view was partially obstructed by the glare, but she saw Chloe's arms wrap around the blonde, whose eyes closed as she smiled sort of sadly over the other girl's shoulder. The pair stayed that way for a long moment, so close they seemed almost to be attempting to fuse themselves together. The reflected sunlight caused Beca to wince again. She blinked twice, and when she opened her eyes, she saw the girls' lips meet in a heated kiss.

Beca's jaw dropped, and she began furiously looking around the bus, to see if any of the other Bellas saw what she was seeing. Cynthia Rose was leaning against the far window, arms crossed over her chest, attempting to sleep; Jessica and Ashley were slapping their hands together in some sort of childish game; Flo was braiding Emily's hair; Lily was jamming out and silently beat boxing to the music piping through a pair of bright green head phones; and Amy was bent down at the driver's seat looking for something she must have dropped beneath it. And not a single one of them was looking out the window at the two women whose mouths had just collided in a definitely-more-than-friendly way. Beca wanted to get someone's attention, wanted to say something, but words were escaping her. She looked back out the window just as Chloe was walking away from Aubrey to board the bus.

 _Did that really just happen?_ Beca wasn't sure what to make of it. Maybe it was a trick of the sun. She didn't get a good look… she really shouldn't make assumptions. It was probably just a peck of a kiss. A totally normal, totally Chloe friendship sort of thing. It had to be.

By the time Chloe was dropping into the seat next to her, Beca had written off the moment entirely. She definitely didn't see whatever it was she thought she saw. No way. Just two friends, saying goodbye, like friends do.

 _It's just a normal day_ , she silently reassured herself. But as she felt Chloe's lips press against her cheek in greeting, she was reminded that whatever may or may not have just occurred outside the bus, today was _not_ a normal day. _She_ had kissed Chloe last night. And kissed, honestly, was the well-mannered way of putting it. She had kind of, sort of, totally _made-out_ with Chloe last night, albeit for just a brief moment. And with Chloe's shoulder pressed against hers on what was to be a _very_ long bus ride, she knew she wasn't about to forget it.

But that's exactly how she spent the journey, trying her very best to ignore the bubbly and totally adorable – _adorable? Why is everyone_ adorable _today?!_ \- Chloe Beale seated next to her, and feigning interest in the mixing program on her screen. She hoped the red head didn't notice that she was pretty much just closing and re-opening various sound files and moving different volume bars up and down without any thought.

Because Beca's thoughts _were_ _not_ on the at least halfway decent demo she had to craft if she ever wanted to be a music producer, and they _were not_ on the kickass set she was going to have to come up with in order for the Barden Bellas to continue to exist. No, her thoughts were squarely on last night, and nothing could break them from it.

* * *

 _"_ _What the FUCK, dude?!"_

 _Chloe scoffed, then uttered in a hurried whisper, "What are you even saying?_ You _kissed_ me!"

 _"_ _But you—What? I—I—No!" Beca tripped over her words. She felt flushed, and… frustrated. No, not like that. Okay, maybe a little bit like that. It was all very confusing!_

 _"_ _Calm down, Becs. It's fine." Chloe's voice teetered on irritation, and Beca found it patronizing, which only fueled her frustrations. She felt anger swelling inside her, but took a deep breath to stop herself from shouting._

 _"_ _Fine?! But you just—and we just—I just—and—and…" Words again escaped her, so she stopped in favor of an emphatic gesture in Chloe's direction in an attempt to remind the red head of what had literally_ just _happened and how_ not fine _it was._

 _Chloe propped herself up on one elbow and faced Beca. "And it's fine," Chloe said, completing the brunette's utterance. "I have to admit, I'm kind of surprised that you just…" the red head's voice trailed off under Beca's glower. "But it's totally fine. It's more than fine. I…" she hesitated, and as she finished the thought, Beca knew that break was for her benefit, not Chloe's, "I really enjoyed that."_

 _Chloe reached out a hand, and Beca saw it move toward her in slow motion, and yet when it connected with her arm, she still flinched. In spite of the reaction, Chloe's touch remained and while, on the one hand, it was disconcerting and_ weird _, Beca also felt strangely comforted by it. She could feel herself calming, as though Chloe's palm was transferring some anxiety-soothing medication directly into her bloodstream._

 _"_ _I'm sorry, um," Beca's words sounded more relaxed than she anticipated. The sound didn't quite mesh with the racing of her heart. "That was just—that was really, um…w—"_

 _"_ _Wonderful?" Chloe cut in with an earnest smile._

 _"_ Weird _," Beca corrected. Chloe's face promptly fell. Her best friend's hand dropped away from her arm, and her eyes shimmered with a crestfallen sadness. The look tugged at Beca's heart and urged her mouth to say something, anything, to stop Chloe from looking so…_ disappointed _. "I mean, uh—I just think we should, like,_ talk _… about this. About whatever this is, or like… whatever you, um, want it to be?"_

 _Chloe's look shifted. She still looked a bit dejected, but hopeful somehow, as she asked: "What do you mean?"_

 _Beca cleared her throat. "Um," she paused, "Like this," swallowed hard, "_ experimentation _thing." And the word came out a little rough, a little broken, but nevertheless she was sort of proud of herself for managing to say it at all. Chloe was looking at her like she expected her to elaborate, and it took her a moment, but she managed to continue speaking. "Like what you want from, um, me? Like, uh… what you want_ us _to, like…_ do _?" It wasn't eloquent, but she thought it was effective, thought it communicated to Chloe what she was trying to say before hormones, or something, took over._

 _"_ _Oh," came Chloe's response. Beca couldn't really read her reaction from that one word. She appeared to be thinking about what Beca had just said, considering it. The silence that sat between them was thick as Beca waited for Chloe to say_ anything _else. The brunette saw something click in her friend's mind, and watched the bright smile spread across her face. "So that means you're agreeing? To experiment with me?" The older girl's voice was a little too loud. She couldn't contain her obvious excitement, couldn't stop herself from bubbling over with that special brand of Chloe-patented glee._

 _Beca shushed her, her eyes narrowing as she looked around the tent at the sleeping girls surrounding them, a reminder to Chloe of where they were and why they were whispering in the first place. But Chloe only blinked back owlishly, like she didn't understand or, even worse, simply didn't care._

 _"_ _Can we just… talk about this sometime other than right now?"_

 _Chloe giggled something light and airy. "Sure, Becs," she offered. "Whatever you want," she added with a confident wink._

 _Beca gave an emphatic eye roll before turning her back to her friend and lowering her head to the pillow beneath her. "Good night then," she said as she shimmied back into her sleeping bag._

 _The brunette had barely closed her eyes when Chloe spoke up again. "You didn't answer my question…" Her voice was soft, but playful. It was at the very least suggestive and at the very most, if Beca allowed herself to admit it, sexy. When the brunette didn't immediately respond, she felt the other girls fingers slowly walk up the upper half of her spine toward her neck. It sent a shiver through Beca, and that twisting feeling in the pit of her stomach was back. Her muscles tensed and she shut her eyes tightly, trying her best to ignore every last bit of it all._

 _Beca wanted to say something. She thought she could make it all stop by speaking. But she didn't know what to say. Words weren't a concept her brain could quite grasp at that very moment. So, she said nothing._

 _Chloe moved forward carefully, and Beca could hear every crinkle of the sleeping bag beneath her as she did. And then Chloe's lips were pressing against the back of Beca's neck. The kiss was long, and hot, and wet. And she seriously thought she might implode as Chloe pulled back and spoke Beca's name raggedly into her ear. Beca wasn't sure if it was a question, but she managed a strangled "mhmm?" in response. She felt Chloe's hand press firmly against her side through the sleeping bag, and shuddered as the red haired captain curled each finger around her hip one at a time._

 _"_ _You want to experiment with me." It wasn't a question. It was a statement, a carnal, lascivious statement. Beca's heart was pounding in her ears. She pulled her lips in between her teeth and bit down hard, scrunching her eyes closed impossibly harder. Chloe's hand moved from her hip to drag a finger down the shell of Beca's ear. She was getting desperate. She needed this to stop. She had to do something, say something, to make it stop. Right now._

 _And so she nodded… furiously… repeatedly._

 _Chloe's exhalation of breath danced across her neck and Beca could practically feel the idiotic grin she knew the other girl was sporting. "I knew it," the older girl teased, before falling straight back onto her pillow._

 _The DJ released the breath she had been holding. She was relieved to have Chloe out of her personal space, no matter the cost._ That _was overwhelming, and uncomfortable. Ugh, this was all so weird!_

 _"_ _Good night, Becs."_

* * *

That's all Beca could think about for the entirety of the bus ride back to Barden. She replayed the events of the evening on a loop. She couldn't forget a single second of it. Despite her best efforts to the contrary, the night had been emblazoned onto her brain. Did she really agree to continue this lunacy? _Why?! Why did I do that?! Stupid, Beca. Stupid, stupid, stupid._

She couldn't make heads or tails of the situation, the way her body was reacting to Chloe. The feelings were altogether familiar ones, but they weren't normal. They felt heightened, somehow stronger and more palatable. It was similar to the way Jesse had sometimes made her feel, yet, in all honesty, it was entirely different. Jesse had never made her feel quite like _that_. Not that she was comparing them. Because, to the simple mind, comparing Chloe to her ex-boyfriend might suggest…well, it might suggest _something_.

What did it all mean? Did it have to mean something? Why did she nod? How could she _agree_? What did Chloe want from her? And what was this sick, twisting feeling in her gut? These were the questions that utterly consumed her even as she crossed the threshold into the Bellas house, even as she attempted to relax into the bath. She couldn't stop thinking about it, about how it felt to kiss Chloe: the way she looked just before, how soft her lips had been and the way she moved them delicately against her own, the way she had husked Beca's name against her ear.

The thoughts were devouring her, bit by bit. She couldn't take it anymore. She knew she had to talk to Chloe. She dried herself off and scurried towel-clad back to her room to change. Amy laid on her side, staring at her laptop on her bed, and Beca gave her a head nod before entering their closet to change. She threw on a pair of gray sweat pants and a navy blue V-neck t-shirt. Stepping out, she grabbed the brush from her dresser and ran it through wet hair several times. She waved slightly at Amy, who returned the gesture with a salute, as she trotted down the stairs and directly to Chloe's door.

She stood in front of it for a long moment, just staring at the knob, willing the door to open on its own, or for a hole in the floor to open up and swallow her whole. She wasn't sure which. She swallowed hard as she raised her hand up to the door and knocked twice.

"Come in," rang out the sweet voice on the other side. Beca gripped the door knob and twisted, pushing forward as she entered the room. Her eyes found a smiling Chloe perched at the edge of her bed, hands pressed into the mattress on either side of her. Chloe's eyes lit up as she watched Beca step inside, closing the door behind her.

"Hey, Becs."

* * *

 _ **A/N:** I know. I'm sorry. Forgive me?_


	4. Chapter 4

_**A/N** : Hey, American readers. Happy Thanksgiving! Consider this chapter my gift to you... to say that I am forever grateful for all your love and support. And non-American readers, obvi I'm thankful for all of you, too. Duh._

* * *

Beca stood still near the closed door. She looked at Chloe, who was patting the spot next to her on the bed in a silent appeal for the younger girl to join her. Beca felt frozen in place, like her feet were rooted to the floor beneath her. The past 48 hours had brought with them an inability for Beca to feel anything but anxious in her best friend's presence. And she hated it. She wondered to herself if it would ever feel _normal_ again if she stood by her agreement to embark on this… _thing_ with Chloe. Whatever it was.

Across the room, Chloe cleared her throat, still looking at her with querying eyes. Beca tilted her head to the plush, pink armchair below the window, then looked back to Chloe as she pointed one finger in its direction. The red head shrugged, but nodded and Beca crossed to the chair.

"What's up?" Chloe asked innocently as Beca sat. Something about it rubbed her the wrong way. Chloe knew very well why she was here, what she wanted, no _needed_ , to discuss. So why bother asking something so pointless?

"You know what's up." The words came out a bit angrier than she intended, but she couldn't help it. This whole situation had her on edge. She wasn't mad at Chloe, just baffled by her, by what had happened and how it had made her feel and her confusion was manifesting itself in the form of exasperated irritation.

Chloe spoke steadily, "Yeah… I do…" Her voice was soft. The air of the room shifted to something thick and suffocating. Somewhere far away, Beca could hear the faintest bassline of music. It was seeping under the door from someone else's room, probably Stacie's. The noise only served to highlight the deafening silence of the room they were currently occupying and Beca shifted in her seat restlessly. Sure, she was the one who came here to talk, but now that she was here, sitting in front of Chloe, she really wasn't sure what she should say.

And evidently, neither was Chloe, whose voice echoed through the room with a frustration similar to that which she had shown moments earlier. "Well, what do you want me to say, Beca?"

Even though she sounded entirely different, her name coming from the red head's mouth flashed her instantly back to the night before, to the hot breath on her ear, to the gravelly tone of Chloe's voice, to the twisting feeling in her stomach. And that's when Beca realized what she wanted Chloe to say. She wanted her to answer for the rousing she'd caused. Maybe she _was_ mad at her friend. She wanted an apology, or maybe not an apology, but an explanation for the other girl's behavior. For what it had done to Beca. She felt weirdly… violated? No, that wasn't the right word. But Beca wasn't sure what was. She felt something kind of icky about the way Chloe had touched her. No, not the way she'd touched her, really, but the way she had made Beca _feel_. She did not consent to these _feelings_. She did not want them. And she wanted to forget she'd ever had them.

But then maybe it wasn't so much a Chloe problem as it was a Beca problem. She'd lost control of her own body for a moment. She hated not being able to manage every movement, every feeling. Yes, she knew how ridiculous that second part was. No one had control over their emotional response that way. But Beca found that fact infuriating, particularly in a situation like this one. She had to figure out how to get ahold of herself. It was like floating in an anti-gravity chamber and every attempt she made to right herself, she found herself looking up at what she had thought to be the ceiling, but then quickly realized was, in fact, the floor and she was still somehow upside down.

She reminded herself why she had come to Chloe's room in the first place. They needed to talk about what had happened. It was the only chance Beca had to plant her feet firmly on the actual floor again.

"I don't know, Chlo. I just know that we need to talk about this…" she offered, as kindly as she could manage.

The red head gently nodded, "Okay." Her voice was much calmer and Beca relaxed a bit into the chair. This was going to be fine. They were going to talk this out rationally. But as Chloe's lips quirked into a mischievous grin, Beca silently scolded herself for thinking it'd be that easy. Because of course Chloe wasn't going to make this easy. "So, why don't you tell me about why _you_ kissed _me_ last night?"

The brunette immediately shot to her feet and headed for the door. "Forget it," she muttered, "I can't—"

"Beca, STOP." She froze, her hand poised over the door knob. "I'm sorry, okay?" She looked over her shoulder at Chloe. She'd shifted, her body was now turned toward the door and she had one leg folded onto the bed, gripping her own ankle in front of her with both hands.

The brunette let out an incensed sigh and turned to face her friend properly. She knew she should apologize, knew she was overreacting at least a little, but Beca wasn't exactly the apologizing type… "Fine. But this is serious, okay?"

"I know. I'm sorry," Chloe breathed honestly. "I was just trying to lighten the mood. I mean, Jesus, Beca. You're acting like a natural disaster just wiped out half the city. This isn't a big deal..."

"This _is_ a big deal!" Beca snapped.

"It really, _really_ doesn't have to be." Beca just blinked at her. Why didn't she _get it_? I mean, obviously Chloe was all cool and nonchalant about these sorts of things, but didn't she know Beca well enough by now to know that despite her tough guy exterior she was neither cool nor nonchalant? "It's okay. Just sit, please. We'll talk about this." Beca stared at her suspiciously. "No more jokes," Chloe swore, holding up both hands in defeat. "Cross my heart," she continued, making a show of tracing an "X" over her chest with her right index finger.

Arms crossed, Beca rolled her eyes exaggeratedly. She glared at Chloe, squinting pointedly, but with a shake of her head, she ultimately resumed her seat in the pink arm chair. Her shoulders were slouched, arms still folded, as she stared at the carpet below.

A long moment passed, but just as Beca was beginning to regret her decision to sit back down, Chloe spoke. "So…?" was all she offered at first and the DJ clicked her tongue in response, still refusing to look up at the woman in front of her. "What is it you want to talk about?"

"Chloe," she warned.

"What? I mean it. I know you want to talk about what I said, about what _we_ did… but you've got to give me a little more than just that."

Beca couldn't stifle the sigh that escaped her, but she couldn't be mad, not really. Chloe was right. If _they_ were going to talk about this, Beca was going to have to do at least _some_ of the talking. She shifted her position, resting her elbows on her knees and clasping her hands together in front of her. She stared at them as she worried the nail of her left thumb with her right. She could feel the red head watching her. Without raising her gaze to meet Chloe's, she began to speak, slowly at first: "This, uh, _thing_ that you… like, want to do? With me?" She paused, and the rest of the words came out too quickly, like a horse out of the gate at a racetrack. "Why? I mean, what is it you want to do exactly?" Beca's eyes flashed up immediately to meet Chloe's. Dark, steely eyes fixed on soft, light ones. The older girl didn't respond right away, and Beca appreciated that she was taking a moment to be sure she was done talking. Or at least that's what she thought Chloe was doing, but as she peered into those crystal blue pools, Beca recognized something distinct in them. Something like caution, like fear. And it was surprising to Beca, who had assumed this whole thing was comparatively innocuous for Chloe.

"I'm…not entirely sure? I mean, I know that I want to–" she paused, choosing her next words carefully, "–to _be_ with you. But I don't really know what that means yet… either." That last word was an afterthought, and she looked at Beca rather curiously as she said it. The red head's response was delicate and deliberate. There was a hesitation to her words, which confirmed Beca's suspicion that the other girl was afraid… of something. But what? It certainly wasn't the same fear that Beca was feeling. No, this was something else…

" _Be_ with me?" she repeated back. Chloe looked down at the bedspread and nodded. Beca thought she looked almost sad. Whatever she was scared of was doing more than just causing her to hesitate. It was overtaking her, making her act almost shy. And if there was one thing Chloe Beale wasn't, it was shy. But Beca appreciated the quiet solemnity. She certainly couldn't handle bubbly effervescence at this particular moment. Chloe's demure was a clear indication that she was taking this conversation seriously, and for that Beca was grateful. "What does that mean? ' _Be with me_?'"

"I—" Chloe stopped. She _stopped_. She had something to say, had an answer at the ready, knew what she wanted, but she stopped.

 _Why? What doesn't she want to tell me?_

Silence once again settled over the bedroom. Beca was wrong. This whole "talking about it" thing _wasn't_ helping. She felt even more confused than before. She thought Chloe was just being her usual _weird_ self with this whole experimentation thing. She assumed the confession in the tent had been a pretty spontaneous one, but Beca was getting the impression now that it was actually, like, _intentionally_ planned. And maybe Chloe didn't exactly expect Beca to say 'yes,' in whatever silent, abnormal way she had because it seemed like Chloe wasn't sure which way to step next, how she should play her hand… which also lead the brunette to feel like her best friend was _hiding something_ from her. That thought churned her stomach, and not in the strangely pleasant way her stomach had churned the night before. Yeah, this "talking about it thing" was _definitely_ not helping.

Chloe broke the silence after what felt like hours. "Do we have to, like, lay out every detail? Is it okay if we just… sort of see where this ' _thing_ ' goes?" Beca heard her, but her words sounded almost distant. Her thoughts were elsewhere, focused instead on the soft, pink hue of Chloe's lips, remembering the feel of them against her own. If this "talking about it" thing wasn't working, maybe Chloe was right. Maybe they should just… see where this goes. Beca wasn't really the "go with the flow" type and she wondered momentarily how it was that Chloe was able to get her to a point where control just wasn't important, how she could just trust Chloe so implicitly… It was nothing short of astounding to Beca, the poster child for "trust issues." How did she do it? How had she gotten so deep under Beca's skin without Beca even noticing she'd done it? The red head must have possessed magical powers. It was the only reasonable explanation. Honestly, that'd make sense of quite a few things: like how she'd managed to reduce Beca to a puddle, a non-thinking puddle that nodded its silent agreement to _the weirdest_ thing that had ever been asked of her to date; like the way Chloe's touch had electrified her skin; and the way her kiss had knotted Beca's stomach. "That is," Beca's gaze was still focused on Chloe's lips as they were tugged into a sweet smile, "assuming your nod from last night still holds true… that you still _want_ to do this ' _thing_ ' with me?"

Try as she might, Beca couldn't tear her stare away from the other girl's mouth. A long moment passed, and Chloe's smile only grew. The brunette swallowed and licked her own lips before managing to look up at crystal blue eyes once more. What she found there ripped her abruptly from her daydream, and she tucked her head down, gaping wide-eyed at the carpet again. She'd been caught staring, been caught red-handed. And there was _no_ _way_ Chloe wasn't going to use that to her advantage.

"Can I take that as a yes, then?" Chloe giggled.

"Sorry," Beca muttered under her breath, without looking up.

"Oh, please, Becs. Don't be stupid." She still sounded light, but also a sort of frustrated. She paused. "Can you look at me?"

Upon request, it seemed, she could. Her eyes snapped up to meet Chloe's. "Very good," the red head praised. Normally Beca would have found that condescending, but there was something odd in the way Chloe was looking her, not unlike the way she looked in the tent just before Beca had kissed her. So instead of irritated, she found herself once again entranced by Chloe. "What else can you do?" the girl teased. "Can you… come sit next to me?"

Again, normally she would have found this kind of talk annoying. But she could hear Chloe's voice gradually shifting to something low and rough. Beca couldn't resist it. It really was like Chloe had cast some sort of spell over her. She stood and crossed toward the girl, her brain foggy as she did. Her friend tapped the space next to her on the bed and Beca obliged, shifting a bit awkwardly as she situated herself. Chloe leaned in toward her, dragging a finger from Beca's knee up her thigh.

"Can you say it?" she whispered against Beca's ear. "Can you admit that you want this?"

Beca couldn't breathe. She felt drunk and dizzy. The air around her had become stifling. Was she sweating? Neurons weren't firing like they should. Words were lodged somewhere in the back of her throat, but she couldn't quite utter them.

Chloe pulled back a bit. Beca could feel her penetrating stare; she shut her eyes tightly, tried to ignore it, but Chloe's voice floated back into her ear, this time a bit more serious and a bit less sexy. "I need to hear you say it." She meant it. Beca knew it. And she knew that whatever pleasure Chloe derived from hearing Beca say those words, this particular ask was more logistical in nature. Chloe had to be sure the brunette was really, truly okay with this. No, not just okay, but that it was something that Beca wanted, too. This was a turning point, one the DJ was pretty sure there was no coming back from. She stood at the edge of a cliff, looking down at the expanse below. Despite what might be in her best interest of self-preservation, she somehow came to the _insane_ conclusion that she should jump.

"Yeah, Chlo. I want this—to do this _thing_ … with you."

Suddenly, Chloe was straddling her lap. Beca's jaw dropped as she found herself face to face with the girl's chest. Her eyes grew wide as she stared ahead, shocked, but Chloe's hands gripped either side of her face, pulling her chin upward to look at her. The previously undefinable glint in Chloe's eyes had suddenly become very definable. She was pretty sure she'd never seen the look on Chloe before, but she recognized it nevertheless: desire.

"Is this okay?" Chloe asked sincerely. For once, the brunette didn't break eye contact. She shook her head in three quick, subtle nods. "It doesn't have to mean anything, you know?" Beca nodded again, more firmly. She believed her. She really did, but she didn't get much time to consider it, as Chloe's mouth instantly found hers. The kiss was gentle at first and Beca stared blankly ahead, at Chloe's closed eyes, still surprised by the turn of events. The sound of the red head inhaling deeply through her nose forced Beca's eyes closed. She pressed forward, moving her lips lightly against Chloe's, who quietly groaned in approval as Beca wrapped her arms around the other girl's waist. She linked her fingers together, then felt Chloe's tongue peek out of her mouth and slide delicately across her upper lip. Beca couldn't stop the sound that escaped her, but this time she wasn't trying to. And so she parted her lips, granting her best friend the access she sought. She wasn't going to overthink this. She was "going with the flow" on this one, seeing where this might take her, seeing where this might take _them_.

* * *

 _ **A/N** : Reviews please? Now that we're a few chapters in, I'd really love some feedback on what you all think of this story..._


	5. Chapter 5

This whole _experimenting_ thing was empirically weird. Chloe had been her friend for 4 years and not once during that time had it ever occurred to Beca that she might enjoy kissing the red haired girl. Why would it have? Sure, the girl was seriously good looking. It's not like Beca had never noticed that fact, but she hadn't noticed it _like_ _that_ before. Sure, she had meant it when she muttered "you should be" in regard to Chloe's body confidence on that fateful day in the shower freshman year. The girl was _totally hot_. But there was a big difference between recognizing your best friend's natural beauty and wanting desperately to run your hands all over her form.

Which is where Beca found herself right now, desperately wanting to feel Chloe _everywhere_. But she resisted, keeping her hands firmly clasped together behind Chloe's back as they sat kissing on Chloe's bed. Something in her brain was short circuiting. Wanting to touch Chloe was a very new – like fifteen seconds ago new – feeling. And like all of the new feelings of the past 48 hours, Beca wasn't sure what to make of it. The indulgent side of her brain was telling her "Why not?" Beca felt pretty certain that Chloe would be into it. And if that's what she wanted to do, shouldn't Beca go forth? Isn't that the whole point of "experimenting?" Trying new things to uncover new information? Like maybe she'd touch Chloe and find it a complete turn off. Beca had already reasoned that kissing anyone would be a pleasurable experience. Because, really, what's the difference between kissing Chloe and kissing, say, Jesse? Not that she was comparing them, but it only made sense that the act of kissing anyone would stir up some feelings of arousal. But _touching_ someone, well, that was different. Because if you liked the feel of someone in your hands, then it stood to reason that you might actually like them as, like, an _individual_. Because no one person was going to feel the same way another felt… especially if that person were of the female persuasion when all former touch-ees were male…

And that's why the rational side of her brain was keeping her from doing it. Because what if she touched Chloe and found it a complete turn _on_? Then what? Beca still hadn't moved past the girl's earlier words, her confession of wanting " _to be with_ " Beca. Sure, that was vague and it could mean a lot of things. But Beca wasn't an idiot and they weren't children. She was pretty sure that Chloe would go as far with this thing as Beca would allow and that was… a lot to consider. It was absolutely overwhelming, in fact. And it was a good thing that Beca was having a hard time _really_ comprehending what that meant, what that _really meant_. Otherwise, she probably would have fled the room before Chloe had the chance to straddle her in the first place.

She felt Chloe's hands travel down from her jaw, dragging gently across both sides of her neck and down her shoulders before the heels of the girl's hands pressed into her collar bone, urging her to lay back. Beca resisted at first, which pulled a groan from Chloe. The sound was enough to force the brunette to acquiesce. She laid back slowly, the other girl moving with her so their mouths remained in contact. Once the mattress was fully supporting her weight, Beca felt Chloe's hips give a singular rock against her own. Light flashed behind her eyes and her moan was swallowed by the strong press of Chloe's tongue against her own. She felt the red head's hips jerk and then the girl was pulling away from Beca, breathing something loud and heavy. The brunette's eyes flashed open as her mind raced. Why did Chloe just pull away? Had she done something wrong? Her vision came into focus and she found the girl, now sitting upright on top of her, had her eyes shut tightly, her brow was furrowed, her chest was heaving. The shot of arousal that surged through her at the sight surprised Beca, though at this point, maybe it shouldn't have…

The voice in her head that kept her from touching Chloe finally shut up. She unfurled her fingers from behind the girl's back and placed a hand on each of Chloe's thighs, rubbing upward and then gripping lightly. Beca watched the red head's sharp intake of breath, watched her eyelids tremble. She couldn't believe a touch as small as that had such an effect on her friend. Her thoughts began racing again, flashing back to moments she had never experienced… moments of Chloe, long ago, thinking about _this._ Thinking about Beca touching her. She wondered when Chloe had first thought of her and how long she had waited to make her confession. Was this on her friend's mind from day one? It certainly would explain a lot, like the shower invasion and an abundance of too close talking incidents…

Chloe's eyes suddenly opened, staring directly at the woman beneath her and Beca's face froze. The look in Chloe's eyes was savage. It was downright animalistic. She was looking at Beca like she wanted to _devour_ her whole. The look made Beca's bottom lip quiver, a whimper escaping her as Chloe surged forward and began kissing Beca's neck, hands gripping either side of her rib cage. She stared up at the ceiling and felt her own hips, acting entirely of their own accord, rise up against the weight of the woman straddling her.

"Mmm. Beca…" the red head breathed in her ear. Beca felt her tongue flick out against the lobe before snaring it into her mouth. Her vision blurred. Groaning loudly, Beca became all too aware of the wetness pooling between her thighs. Chloe moved to latch herself to Beca's pulse point, using her teeth to suck the tender skin into her mouth. It was too much. The way Chloe said her name, the way her lips felt on her body. Chloe's right hand slid across her chest to cup the underside of Beca's clothed breast. Everything was moving too quickly. Beca was losing control. Chloe's hand moved to squeeze the flesh it held and Beca's body responded instinctively by arching into the touch. Chloe made a sound that vibrated against her throat and Beca couldn't take anymore. She just couldn't. Tongue tied, she instead shook her head, perhaps a little violently.

Chloe's hands quickly moved off her body and pressed into the mattress on either side of her shoulders, lifting herself away from Beca. "What's wrong?" She sounded as panicked as Beca felt, who immediately took the opportunity to pull herself out from underneath the red head, scooting back as far away from the girl as possible, until her back hit the headboard. She curled her legs up, wrapping her arms tightly around them, and dropped her forehead to her knees.

"Bec—"

"Too much," she spat. "Just to-too much." Those were the only words she could manage at the moment. She was really trying not to freak out. But there was just, like, _a lot_ going on in her head right now. It wasn't that she didn't want to do this. It was just, like, _a lot_.

She felt Chloe's hand brush against her shoulder and flinched. Chloe quickly removed her hand, as though she had just touched something she didn't realize was scalding hot. Beca didn't mean to shy away. She really didn't. She looked up at her friend, whose face was riddled with concern. "I'm sorry," Beca said instantly, "I didn't mean…" Chloe blinked. "I didn't mean to, like, flinch. Right then. Sorry."

The red head released a long breath, relief more than apparent as she did so. Her concern was still evident, but her face brightened and Beca felt a sense of relief herself. "Are you okay?" Chloe carefully asked.

"Yeah," Beca nodded, "yeah, I'm fine. I just… I felt like I couldn't breathe."

Chloe didn't miss a beat. "I'm that good, huh?" she quipped, a signature smirk gracing her face.

"Shut up!" Beca picked up a nearby pillow and chucked it in Chloe's direction. The older woman twisted, holding up a hand to protect herself from the assault. She squealed as the projectile hit her before throwing it back in Beca's direction with a giggle.

"Sorry," Chloe said. But she didn't sound sorry. She sounded smug, so Beca frowned. "You sure you're okay?" the older girl continued, "Do you wanna talk about it?" She sounded sincere now. Her voice was kind. Beca wanted to say no. She wanted to run away from it, stew over it until the whole thing was forgotten. But she reminded herself that was the old Beca. She reminded herself of her own promise to herself: that she would try, _really try_ , to talk to Chloe about this. She knew it was the only way to grow, to move forward. She had to be an adult about this.

 _Ugh. But adult-ing is the worst!_

She hadn't honestly given much thought to _why_ she felt like she _had_ to try this, and why she _had_ to really give it her best. She really had no reason to. Her life was moving forward just fine. As long as she didn't fuck up this demo thing (and she felt pretty certain she wouldn't, with Legacy's help), everything was fine. She'd graduate, the Bellas would kick butt at Worlds, and then she'd move to LA to be with Jesse. It was easy, it was good, it was going to be just fine. So then why _did_ she feel like she had to do this, and do it right?

Beca really hadn't given that line of thinking the attention it probably deserved. She believed her own assumption that she was, somehow, doing this all for Chloe. Because _Chloe_ wanted to. And because _why not?_ Anyone could use one last "crazy college story," right? This was her last ditch effort at getting the full "college experience" that her father had wanted so desperately for her freshman year. _This probably isn't exactly what he meant by that…_

Beca took a deep breath in an attempt to ground herself. "I just—"she started, but then paused, deciding to approach this from a different angle. "That was just, like… a lot. For me."

Chloe nodded sympathetically, but then flashed a somewhat confused look. "And what does that mean… ' _a lot_?'" Beca swallowed hard. She was not used to having a conversation like this, and she didn't know how to articulate all the things she was feeling in a way that would make sense. Her mouth dropped open as she tried to say something, but no words came out. "Like… like overwhelming?" Chloe offered.

Beca nodded. Yes, that was exactly it. She felt overwhelmed. She was overwhelmed by sensation, by emotion. Her head, body, heart, _whatever_ just couldn't process everything that was happening, and so she had shut down.

"Okay," Chloe continued. "But, like, overwhelming in… in like a good way? Or, like, a not so good way?" Beca stared into crystal blue eyes and saw them shimmer, almost quake. There was an air of vulnerability in the way Chloe looked, in the way she asked that question. It reminded her of the way Chloe had looked when she told the Bellas about her nodes, like she was preparing for the worst possible outcome, but desperately pleading for the best.

"I don't know, Chlo," she said honestly. She watched her friend's face fall as she lowered her head to focus on the bed below. "I mean… I, like… like, I enjoyed, um…" She didn't finish her sentence. Chloe was looking back at her again, plainly trying to suppress a bright smile, and Beca appreciated the effort. She couldn't take a Chloe grin right now. "I just… need some time. To think… more clearly. Okay?"

Chloe nodded and apparently couldn't hold in her smile anymore. Her typical effervescence was back. And it made Beca realize that it was lost in the first place, that while in "sexy-mode," her bubbly personality disappeared altogether. It made sense, Beca thought, but it was strange. As well as she thought she knew Chloe, she didn't know that about her. Not until this very second. The realization that followed was perhaps an obvious one, but Beca hadn't thought of it before… that experimenting with Chloe necessarily meant that she was getting to know the girl even better than she already did, in a way that she had never known her before. Beca was refusing to overthink this, but that thought made her insides warm. _That's_ what she wanted, more than anything, really… just to be as close to Chloe as possible. She wanted to know her, _really_ know her. And it was almost like a blood oath, or something. The two of them sharing this together would serve to bring their friendship to some otherworldly plane of existence, something that was just, well, _beyond_ everything else. She didn't quite have the words to describe it, but she felt it. She could feel it happening already. This was going to change everything, of course it was, but for once Beca was certain she felt good about that fact. She felt like she knew that's what she wanted. And she didn't question it, not for a moment. Because being around Chloe… she just _knew_. She knew however weird this was, and however logically wrong it might have been… it was still, somehow… just right.

* * *

Beca's eyes scanned over every peak and every divot of the white Stucco ceiling in her and Amy's bedroom, listening to the serenade of the other girl snoring. The room was mostly dark, but there was a nightlight that kept the stairs lit, for their own safety. It had come in rather handy on particularly drunken nights, when either of them found themselves stumbling back to bed at 3 o'clock in the morning. It was certainly worth the six bucks Beca had paid for it.

But right now it was keeping her up. Well, she supposed that her brain was mostly the cause of that… but blaming the nightlight just seemed easier.

A lot had happened in just a few days' time. Beca's whole world had shifted… all because of this Chloe thing. She felt like she desperately needed to talk about it to someone other than Chloe. Jesse was the first person to come to mind, of course. She wanted nothing more than to hash it out with him. But while they two were currently "broken up" or "on a break" or whatever… she still knew it would be decidedly weird to discuss with him what had been going on between her and Chloe. But she really, really wished it weren't. He'd be the perfect person to talk to. She knew he would be.

Amy was the next obvious choice, as she was probably Beca's closest friend, next to Chloe… but Beca had a hard time imagining the girl taking it seriously. And she wasn't looking to be laughed at…

She thought maybe Stacie, with her advanced sexual knowledge, or Cynthia Rose, with her advanced sexual knowledge of _women_ , could help her. But Beca was beginning to have doubts about going to any of the Bellas with this. It was just too weird to talk about Chloe, and her maybe feelings for the girl, with the other members of the group. Plus, it was best not to distract them with anything so close to Worlds…

 _But what about a former Bella?_ Now there was a truly insane idea. The idea of talking to Aubrey about, well, anything really seemed so utterly ridiculous that, beyond saying just that, Beca really couldn't put words to it at all.

No, for now she'd have to suffer silently with this one. She'd have to work on figuring this out for herself, at least for now, which meant she'd probably be continuing to stare at the ceiling until the sun came up.

Beca exhaled and braced herself for the insomnia that was perhaps inevitable, but turned on her side and shut her eyes anyway. Just because she couldn't sleep didn't mean she shouldn't try.

On the one hand, she thought, what was to figure out, really? This was a casual thing. Chloe had already insisted that it wasn't a big deal. If she felt like kissing and touching Chloe, and Chloe was receptive to the idea herself, what was stopping her? But there was a part of her brain that just couldn't let it go, a part of her brain that kept insisting on yelling, "What the _fuck?!_ " at her loudly, and repeatedly.

She knew there was really nothing to "figure out" here. She had two options. Either continue this thing with Chloe, or stop this thing with Chloe. There wasn't another option. That was it. And thinking back to her earlier realization, of wanting to be as close to Chloe as possible, of _enjoying_ the time spent with her, whatever they were doing… or perhaps even _especially_ what they were doing… that was the bottom line. That was the conclusion. That was all she needed to know, and she knew it. So… why let this thing cause her any more grief? She should be cautious, sure. They should take this thing slowly, step by step, and she should reassess her own feelings about it along the way… but the more Beca thought about it, thought about how wonderful it was to be with Chloe in that way, she already had her answer. Of course she wasn't going to _stop_ doing this thing. She wanted it too much. And she may not have known exactly what that meant, but maybe she didn't have to. Maybe that was just fine. I mean, does anyone ever really know what _anything_ means?

She had to put this line of thinking to bed for now. Yes, experimenting with Chloe _was_ empirically weird, but Beca wasn't much of an empiricist. And what was wrong with weird anyway? If being a Bella had taught her anything it was that letting your freak flag fly and being uniquely you was ultimately what brought success.

She closed her eyes in an attempt to actually sleep, but found her thoughts occupied with Aubrey and how happy she seemed working at the Lodge at Fallen Leaves. And then she remembered the Aubrey Beca had first met. It was only when Bree let go, and embraced her own inner self, that she found any kind of peace. Sure, that inner self was a bossy, control freak… but there was something in the way she now owned that personality, how she was proud to be exactly who she was, that made the whole thing endearing instead of infuriating.

Maybe Beca was still in the process of discovering some new things about herself, but the lesson of Bella sisterhood was clear. She could take the time to figure it out with all the love and support of her fellow Bellas (whether they knew the details of what she was going through or not). And once she had it figured out, the legacy of Bella sisterhood would be standing tall and proud behind her.

 _Standing… behind me…_

Beca's eyes shot open as she sat up. She grabbed her cell from the nightstand, opened a blank notes page, and jotted quickly. She then thumbed open the messaging app and typed in Chloe's name.

 ** _I know what we're gunna do at Worlds_**

Beca pressed send and returned her cell phone to the nightstand. She laid back down, pulling the covers up to her chin, and smiled to herself. At least something good came from this sleepless night... The Bellas were going to absolutely _kill_.

* * *

 ** _A/N:_** _Reviews are always shiny. Hope you all have a good weekend, awesome nerds. :)_


	6. Chapter 6

"Becs, that's incredible!" Chloe practically cheered. The two were seated at the kitchen island in the Bella house. It was still early and most of the other girls weren't yet awake. Beca had seen Stacie as she headed off to the gym. That girl was an unstoppable cardio machine. While Beca admired her dedication to staying fit, she also always felt a twinge of satisfaction knowing that she was _not_ at the gym when she saw Stacie head there. She'd seen Jessica, too, running off to an early AM class, cursing (as she always did) registering for an 8:30am seminar her final semester at Barden. But other than that, the rest of the Bellas had yet to show themselves. The DJ imagined they were all still exhausted from the retreat.

Beca hadn't gotten much sleep herself, despite how tired she was. She was too excited to tell Chloe about her idea for Worlds, so when the redhead returned her text around 8:00am, the DJ had quickly fled downstairs to the kitchen.

 ** _Coffee's on. Come down when you're ready. I'll tell you all about it._**

Chloe had joined only moments later, still clad in her sea foam green matching pajama set. She hadn't even taken the time to brush her hair. Despite the tangled mess, the sun flooding through the kitchen window reflected off the girl's red hair, making the color all the more vibrant. Beca flip-flopped between hating her best friend for looking so damn beautiful, even at her most disheveled, and feeling wonderfully appreciative of her stunning morning glow. She felt her heart warm as she took in the sight of her with her purple "Princess" mug gingerly held centimeters from her perfect lips.

Beca took a large gulp of the coffee in front of her, staring down at the countertop. "You really think so?" she asked, looking back up at her friend.

"Totes! It's gunna be aca-amazing!" Beca smiled at Chloe's exuberance. She never understood how the girl could be so perky in the mornings. When they had all moved into the Bella house, Beca initially found it irritating. She was _not_ a morning person. The red head's bubbly personality rearing its way-too-chipper head before Beca was ready to be awake was a challenge day after day. But, like all things Chloe Beale, it grew on Beca. And now she craved it, needed it even. It was vitalizing. It propelled Beca out of her grumpy, sleepy state each morning into a state in which she was (at least mostly) prepared to take on the day. She couldn't imagine waking up without it, but as her eyes drifted to the calendar stuck to the refrigerator, to the big red word, circled, underlined, and bolded, just a few short weeks from now, Beca knew she'd have to learn. Graduation day was coming, whether she wanted it to or not.

The tiny DJ breathed in the scent of her coffee before taking another sip. "Do you think we'll be able to get enough Bellas?" she asked, placing her cup on the counter.

Chloe nodded. "Of course! They'll all jump at the chance to do this, to relive this time of their life, to be a part of the Barden Bellas becoming reigning World Champions." Beca really couldn't argue with that. She couldn't imagine any former Bellas _not_ wanting to be a part of what was gearing up to be the biggest moment in Bella history. "It's just a matter of who'll be available to fly all the way to Copenhagen. But I'm sure we'll get quite a few." The red head took a drink from her mug. "I know Bree wouldn't miss it." Something seemed to occur to her then. "Oh my gosh, she's gunna be so excited! You _have_ to call her."

"Me?!" Beca sneered. "Shouldn't she be on _your_ list of aca-bitches to ask?"

"It's your idea, Becs. I think you should tell her," answered Chloe. The brunette rolled her eyes at that and gave her best impression of a child who had just been told he can't play outside today because he has to visit his grandmother at the smelly nursing home. Chloe gave her a pointed look, trying to communicate something to her that Beca couldn't quite decipher. The red head cocked an eyebrow. "Besides… she's been wanting to talk to you."

Beca coughed a laugh; she couldn't help herself. "Wanting to talk to me?" She laughed again. "Um, I literally just saw her _yesterday_. What could she possibly want to talk about?" Beca flashed back to yesterday morning, to her departure from the Lodge at Fallen Leaves, and the weirdness that was Aubrey Posen trying to be nice to her. Something in her subconscious knew, on some level, that something was going on here… something bigger than it all appeared to be. But her conscious mind hadn't yet acknowledged that and even if it had it's not like she would have known what it meant. But Beca could feel that she was missing something. Whatever was happening was, to Beca, like a puzzle she was assembling. It was almost finished, but she was still in the process of discovering and adding pieces. And for now, she wasn't able to decipher what image the puzzle was creating. It left an uneasy feeling in her gut, no matter how unacknowledged it was in her brain.

Chloe just smiled and shrugged. "I don't know. I guess you'll have to ask her."

"Wait a minute," she paused. "When did you even talk to her?"

"Last night," Chloe answered, too quickly. She picked up her mug and took a large swallow of coffee, a pained look gracing her face.

Beca stared at her almost blankly, but eyes tinged with something that resembled anger, but was really more like fear. " _I_ was with you last night, Chlo. _When_ did you talk to her?" she asked slowly, forcefully.

The red head sighed. "After," she replied. "After you left."

Panic gripped her tightly before surging through every muscle in her body like an electric shock. She couldn't believe this. Did Chloe _tell_ Aubrey about what was going on between them? Had she shared all of the intimate, personal, _private_ details with the blonde? _Why would she do that?!_ She needed to know what Chloe might have told the former captain, but knew she couldn't ask. It would make Beca look as panicked as she felt. So though the very thought of it filled her with dread, she refrained from demanding Chloe reveal what she had told the other girl.

"Oh," was all she offered in response instead. Silence hung heavy around them as both women continued drinking their morning beverage. Beca did her best to take the time to get ahold of herself. She felt oddly betrayed by her best friend, and she knew that was unfair. It's not like they had agreed not to talk about it with other people. In fact, Beca was just last night contemplating discussing the situation with someone. Who was she to say Chloe couldn't tell one of her closest friends about it? On top of that, Beca didn't even know if the red head _had_ shared their "secret" with Aubrey. It was totally possible that she hadn't mentioned it, however unlikely that seemed since apparently she had called Aubrey, like, the minute she left the room (or, at least, that's how Beca was imagining it went). But regardless of all the evidence to the contrary, Beca still felt like Chloe had plunged a knife into her back.

Clinging to her mug with both hands, Beca swirled the hot liquid inside and watched it slosh against the white sides. Head still bowed, she looked up toward her friend, who appeared to be waiting for Beca to say something. Chloe looked patient, pensive even, but the DJ also noticed that same fear in her eyes she had seen the night before. It was so _weird_ , the fear. Beca couldn't read it. She had no idea where it was coming from, or what it meant; and after spending 4 years with Chloe, that was _seriously_ disconcerting. Beca knew the other girl, knew her _well_ , and it wasn't very often that she couldn't recognize and articulate what the red head was thinking or feeling just by looking at her.

The sick feeling that brought combined with the potential duplicity wasn't really an enjoyable combination. But embarking on this new _thing_ with Chloe was bound to have these sorts of emotional hiccups. Beca knew that. She reasoned that all the potential turmoil would ultimately be worth it, worth suffering through in order to be that much closer to her best friend. Not to mention all the very pleasant warm tinglies that came with kissing the other girl. Giving that up wouldn't be an easy task, so Beca didn't intend to do it.

Instead she swallowed her pride, swirled her coffee once more, took a sip, and set the mug down. "Yeah, okay. I'll give Aubrey a call later."

The grin that spread across Chloe's face was brighter than the sun. Sure, the older girl was known for her megawatt smiles, but this was one for the record books. It was more than simply gleeful; it was infectious. Beca couldn't help but smile right back at her, staring into shining cerulean pools as those more negative thoughts and feelings melted quickly away and made room for something sincere to warm her chest and sting her cheeks.

"But that means _you_ have to call Alice," the brunette added.

Chloe's smile immediately disappeared as she stared wide-eyed at Beca and shook her head. "No fucking way."

"Chloe…" Beca warned. The DJ only had the pleasure of meeting Alice once, when she attended one of their performances. She didn't really know the girl. She seemed pretty bitchy and her reputation as one of the meanest captains in Bella history was practically legendary. Beca was fully aware of the hell she put Chloe and Aubrey through their junior year and, of course, she did not appreciate that fact. But like it or not, Alice was a Bella and this was about all of them: the good, the bad, and the ugly. Alice was cruel, but that didn't mean she wasn't a part of this sisterhood. "Come on. Bellas for life, dude. You know that. You have to call her."

Chloe rolled her eyes, but conceded. "I know. And I will." She sighed loudly before adding, "But that doesn't mean I have to like it."

* * *

After her only class that day and a particularly long and glorious nap, Beca found herself alone in her room, leaning against her headboard, legs folded, one arm crossed against her stomach, the other holding her cell phone to her ear.

"So you'll do it?" she asked.

 _"_ _Absolutely! I'll just get someone to cover for me here at the Lodge. I wouldn't miss it for anything!"_

Beca smiled. She was thrilled that Aubrey would be there, performing with them once more. The past three years had felt strange without her. Despite Aubrey's initial reservations about the "alt girl," it was she and Chloe who had brought Beca into this crazy world of aca-sisterhood. It felt right that they'd both be there, singing beside her, as she helped lead the misfit crew to victory one last time.

"Good," she said. "Because the Bellas wouldn't be worthy of calling ourselves World Champions if it weren't for you." The brunette wasn't really quite sure where that came from. It was true, but it was unlike Beca to articulate that sort of thing out loud to anyone, especially to Aubrey. Their relationship was combative, even at their best. Beca would _never_ characterize their conversations as sentimental or explicitly supportive. This was foreign territory with Aubrey. Beca could certainly act that way – be _nice_ for a spell – but mostly only with Chloe, and _sometimes_ Jesse. Absolutely never with Aubrey.

But it was Aubrey herself that had inspired this idea to invite former Bellas to perform with the current group at Worlds. So Beca shrugged off her own astonishing kindness toward the blonde. It was honest. And she deserved to hear it.

 _"_ _What?!"_

The other girl couldn't let it slide so easily, though. If the brunette was surprised to hear the words come out of her own mouth, then it must have been twice as unexpected for Aubrey. Beca sighed loudly into the phone. What was she supposed to say? To admit the truth felt a bit like walking into a lion's cage at dinner time, like throwing herself to the metaphorical wolves. She'd be revealing an unprecedented amount of vulnerability to Aubrey and it made her feel, well, vulnerable. _Extremely_ vulnerable. And _completely_ defenseless. Even in the most intimate moments she shared with Aubrey (all in front of the other Bellas, of course), Beca always maintained a certain level of defense. She had never let her walls down fully in the blonde's presence.

So a part of her asked the obvious question: _why start now?_ Then she remembered the genuinely kind, empathetic Aubrey – the imposter Aubrey perhaps – that she had heard comforting Chloe outside of the tent. And she remembered the interaction she had shared with the girl as they were leaving camp, an interaction in which Aubrey had been the vulnerable one, as she spoke openly of her feelings for Beca – how _proud_ she was of her – while Beca had spewed her usual sarcastic retorts. Something was telling Beca that Aubrey deserved the same direct sincerity that the girl had afforded her. It was only fair… right?

She spoke quickly, but carefully. "You set the groundwork for this group, Aubrey. I know we butted heads _a lot_ my freshman year, but we never could have accomplished what we have if you didn't whip us into shape in the first place. And that was the hard part, really. You did all the grunt work, and we got all the glory after you graduated. Then you did it all _again_ over the last few days, helping us rediscover our sound. The Barden Bellas would be nothing without you, Bree. You must know that?"

Beca was certain she could, in fact, _literally_ hear if a pin were to drop on the other end of the line. After a moment, she considered the fact that the call might have dropped. "Aubrey? You there?"

The blonde cleared her throat, and relief rushed through Beca. She really, _really_ didn't want to have to repeat that particular speech. "Sorry, yeah. I'm here." But silence followed once more, and it was absolutely _killing_ the DJ.

"Aubrey! Say something. Now. Please," she begged frantically.

"Sorry, uh – that was – okay, wow. That was just… shocking?" It was more of a question than anything else. Aubrey wasn't one to sound uncertain, but she really did now. "I just… I wasn't expecting that. Thank you," she said sincerely.

Something about Aubrey's tone, the way her voice was almost cracking… she sounded like she was about to cry. And Beca's defenses were immediately back. "Yeah, well – I can be nice sometimes, okay?!"

The former captain chuckled and it was still a little sad, but incredibly authentic. It was a _beautiful_ sound, really, but Beca shook that thought from her head before it even had time to fully form. Still, the sound of it warmed her, and took at least one stone down from the walls she had haphazardly thrown back up as she felt a smile tug at the corners of her lips.

 _"_ _I know you can, Beca."_

The words were sweet, and the truthfulness of them made the DJ's cheeks flush with embarrassment. She had to change the subject. Immediately. The discomfort of this particular topic was really starting to get to her.

She swallowed hard. "So, uh – Chloe said you had to talk to me about something?"

 _"_ _Right…"_ The brunette wasn't really sure what she was anticipating, but it certainly wasn't the words that followed. _"I just,"_ she paused, _"I wanted to be sure that you knew that if you ever need to talk… about, like,_ anything _… that I'm only a phone call away."_

Beca's stomach dropped. The room spun. She felt like she was falling. Chloe _had_ told her. She had _definitely_ told Aubrey what was going on. It shouldn't have been surprising. After all, the blonde seemed to be clued in from the beginning, based on the conversation Beca had overheard outside the tent that night. But it was somehow surprising anyway. She felt like she was in the middle of some grand conspiracy.

"She told you," Beca stated, rather plainly.

 _"_ _What do you mean?"_ came the innocent response, an innocence so forced Beca had to scoff. An actress Aubrey Posen was not.

"You know what I mean," she said more powerfully. The words were terse, but not rude. The anger that was starting to bubble out of her frustration had not yet spilled over. All Beca got from Aubrey, though, was silence, and if that continued, anger was exactly what the older girl was about to get an ear full of. "Look, I _know_ she told you. There's really no point in denying it." Silence. "Aubrey!"

 _"_ _Okay, fine! Yes, Chloe told me that you two…"_ Her voice trailed off, and Beca couldn't have been more grateful for that. _"I understand that this might be a confusing time for you… and I also assume it's something you're probably not comfortable discussing with the other girls. I know we've never been particularly close, and at times we've been flat out enemies… but I need you to know that I'm here for you, if you need to talk through it."_

It should have been strange, this declaration coming from Aubrey. It should have been… but somehow it wasn't. It was sort of _nice_? Like, really nice. It made Beca feel a little less stressed about the whole thing somehow. Beca had been angry at first – well, scared mostly – when she had realized that Chloe might have told Aubrey. Now she was finding herself _thankful_ she had. The brunette wasn't ready to talk about this, not yet, but it was good to know that there was someone she _could_ talk to, if and when the mood struck her to do so… and not just anyone, but someone who at least _seemed_ to be genuinely judgment-free about the whole thing. It was actually kind of wonderful to have a third party involved, someone to help them both (presumably) navigate this rather hazardous terrain, because Beca knew this situation was a potential minefield of emotion.

Aubrey must have taken Beca's silence as an invitation to keep talking, because she found herself snapped out of her reverie by the other girl's voice. _"I want us to be friends, Beca."_ The blonde's voice drifted, becoming so soft and so quiet that Beca strained to hear the rest of her thought. _"We've never been close, but… I'd, well, I'd like us to be."_

The DJ was overwhelmed by this admission. The girl sounded downright _fragile_. The vulnerability Beca was feeling only moments ago paled in comparison to the vulnerability Aubrey was sharing with her now. It was raw, and it was unanticipated. Beca's jaw dropped as she attempted to speak, to reply, but she was still in such awe of the moment that she couldn't manage to say anything at all. And that was the funny thing, really… that there wasn't a sardonic response ready to fire. In fact, Beca wasn't even aiming for sardonic at all.

 _"_ _Beca…?"_ came the voice on the phone, still quiet, still exposed.

She cleared her throat, giving herself a brief moment to collect herself. "Yeah, um… Thanks. I'd—I'd like that…too." It was a bit broken, but it was sincere and it was kind. It was what she had intended it to be.

 _"_ _Well… good,"_ Aubrey said, perking up a bit and infusing the conversation with some much needed cheerfulness, _"So you'll talk to me, you know… if you need to?"_

Beca appreciated the hopefulness of the "if." She didn't like to think she was relying on someone to be there for her when she needed them, because so many people had failed to do exactly that throughout her life. But if Beca was being honest with herself, she _knew_ she'd be seeking out Aubrey, sooner or later. She knew this thing was going to get a bit harder before it got easier, and it was a relief to know she wouldn't have to go through it alone.

"Yeah, Aubrey. I will."

* * *

 _ **A/N** : This was a a really tough one for me to write, for some reason (hence the delay, among the holiday madness)... so I hope it came out okay? Leave me a review and let me know what you think._


	7. Chapter 7

It had been a couple days since Beca and Chloe's last… encounter. It's not that Beca was _avoiding_ Chloe. It really wasn't. She was just really busy with her internship and Worlds planning. She admittedly needed some time away from Chloe, or from the situation really. She needed some time to think. Well, she didn't really need to think, but she just needed to take a breath and that was becoming exceedingly difficult to do when Chloe was around. The red head just, well… took her breath away. _God, that's cheesy_ , Beca thought. But the brunette hadn't been avoiding her. The breathing room was simply a happy side effect of how busy she'd been.

Beca had taken Emily to the studio to record "Flashlight" and after mixing in that signature Mitchell voice and style, the track had come out _amazingly_. And, miracle beyond miracles, Beca's boss had agreed. While he offered a few tweaks, which Beca was happy to accommodate, he had said it was a really solid demo and the DJ was on cloud nine. A few short months ago, she was certain she wasn't cut out to produce music. But now she had something to show for all her hard work, something that could propel her toward her next step, whatever that step may be.

She had called Jesse almost immediately, but he hadn't picked up. She'd left an excited, squealing voicemail asking him to give her a call as soon as possible. And then she'd called Chloe, who was quick to answer and join in on all the excited squealing.

Her final classes were winding down, the arrangement for Worlds was well underway, and she wasn't a complete and total failure as a music producer. Everything was coming up Mitchell. But something felt a little odd. She hadn't been able to spend any real time with her red haired friend the past few days. And Beca… missed her? It was weird. It's not like she hadn't seen her at all. In fact, she'd seen her every day, at least for a brief moment (they did live in the same house after all). That's what was strange about it. She knew this feeling, knew she missed Chloe… but she had no reason to. The hollow, empty feeling made her feel stupid. How could you miss someone that you literally saw only three hours ago? But miss her she did.

So when that brilliantly shining smile peaked over the railing on the staircase to her and Amy's attic room, Beca was more than happy to save the Worlds mix she was working on and shut her laptop.

"Hey there," she said casually, removing her headphones and placing them gingerly onto the desk as the red head climbed the last two steps and entered the room.

Chloe practically bounced over to where Beca was seated at her desk, and the DJ spun in her swivel chair to face the girl. "Hi, friend!"

"What brings you to my humble abode on this fine evening?" Beca asked, adding a bit of a Southern inflection to those last words.

"Well, I do declare. My my, Miss Mitchell," Chloe said, pressing a hand to her chest in true Southern Belle fashion. "You haven't come 'round to see me none and I reckoned it was 'bout time I paid you a visit instead." Chloe paused, taking in her own words before shaking her head with a breathy laugh. "Sorry," her normal voice had returned, "that turned real cowboy real quick, didn't it?" She laughed again.

Beca grinned. "What is happening?!" Chloe's laugh was contagious. Beca couldn't stop herself. She laughed loudly, embarrassingly so.

"I don't know," Chloe cackled through watery eyes. The red head cleared her throat and took a deep breath, calming herself. Once she had blinked back the tears, and Beca had stopped giggling herself, Chloe asked: "Can I, like, try that again?"

Smiling, Beca gave her a nod of permission. The older girl's face took a suddenly serious turn and the DJ was thrown by it. Chloe leaned down, resting one hand on each arm of the computer chair. Beca stared into the light blue eyes that were now only an inch from her own, their noses almost touching. She was reminded of her initiation night and the way Chloe, a complete stranger, had so easily inserted herself into Beca's bubble. At the time, she'd figured the other girl was already drunk, but she'd quickly learned over the next few years that, no, in fact, she wasn't. She simply made a habit of invading others' personal space.

"What I meant was," Chloe started, and Beca could feel the girl's warm breath on her lips. Her body wanted to shudder at the sensation, but she held strong. "I've missed you." Chloe tilted her head and the brunette watched those brilliant blue eyes flutter shut. "Have you missed me?" she asked with the confidence of someone who already knew the answer to their own question.

Beca edged forward slowly, agonizingly so, and brushed her lips gently against her friend's. She couldn't allow Chloe to have all the power here. She had to prove to Chloe, and also to herself, that she could exercise some amount of self-control in the red head's presence. So after a moment so short it barely registered as a moment at all, Beca pulled away and watched as Chloe's eyes flashed open. "Yes," she stated matter-of-factly, "I've missed you," then sunk backward into the chair, away from Chloe.

"Beca Mitchell, you're such a little tease," declared Chloe, releasing the arms of the chair as she stood back and crossed her arms. The scowl Beca was faced with made her think of a petulant child, denied a toy she desperately wanted to play with… but an adorable child. The kind you couldn't bear to punish for more than a few minutes, a child that tended to get her way.

"You love it," Beca replied. Chloe gave an honest to goodness "hmph" at that response. The DJ's jaw dropped in mock surprise.

"Whatever, Becs," the red head smirked, "you admitted you missed me. There's no way you can resist all this," she joked, gesturing to her own form, "for long."

The brunette stood and quickly invaded Chloe's personal space for a change. Standing toe to toe with the taller girl, she spoke with practiced control: "Oh yeah?" Chloe nodded smugly. "I think you have that backwards," she husked, tilting her head until her lips hovered above the soft flesh of the red head's neck, just below her jaw line. "Aren't I the experiment?" She could feel Chloe's body tense, could sense her screwing her eyes shut, could see her biting her lower lip in her periphery. "And you the experimenter?" she asked coolly, holding still for a few seconds too long, allowing the moment to really sink in before she brushed past the other girl and took a seat at the edge of her bed. She looked up to Chloe, whose back was to her, temporarily frozen in time.

And that's what Beca needed, really. She needed to feel like she had control of this situation, and this was the first time she felt that way at all. Ever since this started, Beca felt how she could only imagine Chloe felt right now. She was completely at the whim of the other girl, could do nothing but react to Chloe's actions. And while there was nothing wrong with that, she needed to prove to herself that she could hold herself together for even five minutes, that she could exercise a power of her own over the older girl. It made her feel like she had control over this whole _thing_ they were doing. Sure, she probably didn't. This thing was probably – no, definitely – going to continue to spiral, but she had to _feel_ like maybe it wasn't. At this particular moment, she felt that, perhaps delusional, thought was the only way not to be in a constant state of "I'm totally freaking out about this."

Chloe turned toward her slowly and then sighed like she wanted to say something, but didn't. Beca watched as she fixed her eyes on the floor, contemplating _something_ , then looked back to the brunette and said _nothing_. Beca was sick of this secrecy.

"You _really_ need to stop doing that," she offered forcefully from her seat on the bed.

"Stop doing what?" Chloe innocently asked.

The DJ released a loud breath. "I know there's something you're not saying, something you're not telling me." The older girl's eyes grew wide as she averted her gaze. "And that's, like, _fine_ or whatever," she sounded more defensive than she intended, "but let's not pretend that you're not doing it, or that I don't notice."

Chloe was clearly taken aback by her comment. This wasn't the way Beca intended these next few seconds to go only a moment ago, and she was a little surprised at herself as well. She hoped that she didn't sound mean, that certainly wasn't how she intended to sound, but she really was sincerely _done_ with not acknowledging whatever extra weirdness was looming around this _already weird_ situation.

Chloe's voice rang out suddenly with a quiet sincerity. "This isn't the first time I've done this."

"Done what?"

Chloe looked down at her feet and shifted slightly, but was certain to reconnect her gaze with Beca's before she answered that question. "Been with a woman," she said.

Initially, Beca felt something akin to surprise. Chloe had never divulged that particular secret to her before and what was weird about that wasn't the fact that she'd done it, but that she hadn't shared that news with Beca. But the brunette's surprise stopped there, because _of course_. It only made sense. In fact, there was really nothing surprising about it, save for the fact that the red head hadn't talked about it when she so enjoyed talking about literally _everything_ else. Chloe clearly wasn't shy about her sexuality, and from the stories Beca _had_ heard from the other girl, she was almost always willing to try something new and different, and maybe weird, with a partner she trusted. And, of course, that was why the older girl wasn't having the same trouble with this whole "experimentation" thing as Beca was. She knew what she was doing, so to speak. But, then, that did make Beca wonder what had caused Chloe to invent this whole scheme in the first place…

She cleared her throat, and even though she was pretty sure she already knew the answer, and it was an answer that sort of terrified her, she asked the question. "So then this… ex-experimentation thing…" It was unlike Beca to stutter, but stutter she did because, damnit, this was a stutter worthy revelation. "…Is, like… actually… about me, then?" She paused, before quickly amending, "Like me _specifically_."

"Yeah," Chloe answered with a shrug. "It kind of is," she said, eyes shimmering. "Something like that anyway…" she trailed off. While Beca wasn't expecting that level of shyness and uncertainty, she wasn't surprised by it. It was a weird and awkward thing to have to admit to a person, that you were into them, or, as Beca's mind reverted to a particularly "middle school" way of thinking, that you _liked them_ liked them. She appreciated Chloe's candor, appreciated the truth finally being set free, as it were. It was a scary admission, but oddly, Beca found, upon actually hearing it, that she wasn't really scared of it at all.

The DJ quickly stood and nodded her head once firmly. "Okay then," she said simply.

Chloe's eyes scanned her face, presumably in search of any sign of a crack, her brows narrowed in scrutiny. But after a moment, her face relaxed, and she spoke lightly. "So… that's not, like, a problem then?"

Beca shook her head. "No, Chlo. It's not a problem."

"Good," came Chloe's hurried response as she rushed forward, grasping Beca's face in both hands before fearlessly fusing their lips together. The brunette stumbled backward a bit on impact, but found her footing again by grabbing the taller girl's hips. Chloe's fingers tangled in the hair at the back of her neck, and Beca found her own fingers gripping Chloe more tightly. As her lips moved gently against Chloe's, she felt that feeling of power, of needing to be in control of this situation, amble through her bloodstream once more, until it finally reached her extremities. Beca took a step to her right and tugged at the red head's hips until, with a twist, the backs of Chloe's knees were now the ones pressed against the side of the bed. Beca's hands pushed further, urging Chloe to sit, whose fingertips drifted slowly down the brunette's arms as she gladly obliged.

The new position broke their kiss and pulled Chloe's hips out of Beca's reach. She stood looking down at the girl below her, who looked so strangely innocent and wholly beautiful in that moment, lips parted slightly in an attempt to catch her breath. Yeah, Beca _did_ miss this girl, missed _this_ … this whole _thing_ they were doing. She moved slowly, placing a knee on either side of Chloe's hips. She took the time to settle herself, to revel in the powerful feeling that burned through her in this new, dominant position. A satisfied hum escaped her as she grabbed her friend's face, pulling her into a kiss much more heated than the last.

As Beca had probably thought about a million times over the past week, this was _so weird_. It'd really only been a few days, a few encounters… but every time she was with Chloe it just felt so… so… _natural_. Somewhere a covenant of Catholic priests were shaking their heads in unison… but it was true! And who was she to deny the truth of that? Everything just felt _right_ when she was with Chloe. It was like finally matching up two puzzle pieces, or some other clichéd adage.

Beca wasn't denying that it was still _weird_ , but as she lowered the woman beneath her onto her back, mouths still locked and tongues still dueling, she recognized the fact that she was kind of getting used to it, to the weirdness.

She felt the movement of Chloe's hands, reaching for the buttons of Beca's red plaid flannel shirt. The DJ's eyes shot open in a brief moment of panic, but she didn't stop kissing the red head. Chloe's hands moved quickly, but deliberately, starting from the bottom and working her way up. Once three buttons had been unfastened, Beca felt a hand press against her lower abdomen, the digits of which were a bit cold. The touch was cool, but sent a wave of heat up her spine and straight to her cheeks and, closing her eyes, she moaned into her friend's mouth at the sensation. The sound had a rippling effect and it echoed in her own ears as she felt Chloe's hips rise as her hand moved to grip Beca's side and pull her downward. The older girl broke their kiss to let out a breathy noise that sounded almost frustrated to Beca. The brunette had always been an auditory person, so it wasn't surprising that the sound brought a tingling heat to her core. She watched as Chloe made quick work of the remaining buttons.

She continued watching Chloe, watched carefully as the girl looked down at her, shirt now hanging open baring her black bra-clad breasts and flat stomach. Chloe's gaze returned to Beca's eyes, but not before making a brief stop at Beca's mouth, agape and breathing loudly. There was something in those big, blue eyes. Something cute and sexy and devious and innocent and grinning and kind, and Beca wondered how it was even possible for one woman to be all of those things at once… but Chloe Beale was. She always was. Right now, though, Beca could literally see it all shining in her eyes.

The red head's hand lifted, delicately cupping the side of Beca's face. The brunette shut her eyes and leaned into the touch, gently kissing the older girl's palm. She looked back at Chloe just as the girl smiled, then moved her hand to tug at the shoulder of Beca's shirt. The DJ sat up and flashed a smirk toward the woman beneath her before tugging the shirt off and dropping it onto the floor.

Beca leaned down again, supporting her weight by pressing her hands into the mattress on either side of Chloe's shoulders, and recaptured perfect, pink lips with her own. Almost instantly, she felt Chloe's hand groping her left breast. The red head groaned through her nose as she continued fondling clothed flesh. And that's when Beca started to lose that powerful, confident feeling. Suddenly her awareness of the wet heat between her thighs became painful. She tried to grab hold of a thought, an image, of something that would ground her, calm her, as her mind began to race, but she floundered, even as Chloe writhed beneath her. The sounds coming from the other woman were no longer arousing and enjoyable but instead swiftly caused an unexpected anxiety to bubble in Beca's stomach.

 _Come on, Mitchell. Get it together. You can do this. You_ want _to do this._

Chloe's hands moved around to Beca's back in an attempt to unhook her bra. It took a moment of Chloe's fiddling before Beca lost it entirely. She shot up, panic continuing to rise as she looked down at a shocked and confused Chloe, then immediately climbed off the bed, folding her arms across herself in an attempt to cover the exposed skin. Beca took a few frantic steps backward before grabbing her shirt off the floor and holding it in front of her to cover herself.

"Sorry," Beca uttered, her head downturned and eyes clenched shut.

She heard the movement of bed springs first and it honestly staggered her that Chloe was taking so long to say something. With each passing second, Beca was growing more and more uncomfortable and altogether panicked. The relief that came when Chloe finally spoke was incalculable.

"Beca, it's okay," she insisted in a tone that wasn't quite patronizing, but wasn't exactly _not_ patronizing either.

"No, it's not okay," she shot back, surprising even herself. She opened her eyes, looking at Chloe now perched at the edge of the bed. "I'm terrible. I'm sorry. I just—"

"You're not terrible. It's totally understandable."

She released a huff of a sigh. Not unlike the last time, Beca was feeling altogether overwhelmed. She wanted to talk to Chloe about what was going on, about this terrifying fear, or something, that was overtaking her in these moments they shared together. But Beca Mitchell wasn't an articulate person during her best moments, and this particular moment was certainly not one of her best. No, it was way, _way_ closer to being one of her very worst. So instead of explaining herself properly, she simply said: "I'm just sorry, okay? It's not that I don't want this."

Chloe stood and walked toward Beca, who tried her very best not to flinch (and mostly succeeded) as Chloe placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. "I know, Becs. I don't think that. I don't think that at all." The brunette almost felt like crying. Chloe's words were kind, and filled with all the love and support only a best friend would know how to offer. It was a lot to handle, but she, at the very least, recognized how lucky she was to have such a good and caring friend. "I've been there, okay?" Chloe said, looking directly into Beca's stormy blue eyes. "I have _literally_ been there. I get it. And it's okay."

Beca felt even closer to tears than she had a second ago. And that made her feel stupid, so _stupid_. She shut her eyes tightly and managed to nod as Chloe's arms wrapped tightly around her in a warm hug.

"It's _okay_ ," Chloe insisted again. "I understand. I'm happy to let you set the pace here. Please don't worry about it."

Beca still couldn't bring herself to speak, to respond, but nodded again. She let Chloe hold her like that, allowed the gesture to comfort her, and hoped that the action – or lack of – said everything she needed to say to Chloe in that moment for her.

* * *

Several hours of separation from the moment in question had brought Beca some semblance of sanity. And as she thought back to it, she was glad she hadn't said anything more to Chloe. The simplicity of what she had managed to say was all the red haired woman really needed to hear.

But Beca still needed to talk, to work through this _fear_ thing, in order to move forward. It just wasn't Chloe that she needed to talk to.

Amy still wasn't home, and while Beca sometimes felt lonely without her, she was grateful that the Aussie had shacked up with Bumper and was spending most of her time at his place. It gave her some much needed space for all this _experimentation_ and all the thinking and talking that went along with it.

She was again seated at her desk, and had been for the past 20 minutes, staring blankly at her computer screen, which had gone dark from lack of use. Beca reached for her cell and thumbed the green phone icon in the bottom left corner. She scrolled through a few names before she reached her desired call-ee, then pressed her name. A picture of her and the blonde woman at ICCAs three years ago flashed on her screen, and she stared at it for a long moment as she listened to the distant sound of the phone ringing. They were champions, they were hugging, they were _happy_ , and they were realizing they were _friends_ , perhaps for the very first time. When the ringing noise stopped, Beca quickly put the phone to her ear.

"Aubrey? Hey, it's Beca. Um. Is now a good time to talk?"

* * *

 _ **A/N** : Happy 2016, everybody! With the holidays finally over, I should have a bit more time to dedicate to working on this? No promises, but hopefully the next update will come a bit quicker... Mucho love and well wishes for a stellar 2016 to you all!_


	8. Chapter 8

Beca had called Aubrey with every intention of spilling her guts, of being honest, of _really_ talking about this _thing_ and the feelings she was having about it, but now that she had the former captain on the phone, she didn't have a clue what to say, where to start. And even if she _did_ , she was pretty sure that she wouldn't have known _how_ to say it all anyway.

So instead she said nothing, just sat silently with the phone pressed to her ear, eyes shut tightly, shaking her head at herself, at the situation she had put herself into.

 _"_ _Beca?"_

Still she said nothing. She did stupidly nod, sort of absently. Of course Aubrey couldn't see her, but the logic of that wasn't filtering through her brain at the moment.

 _"_ _Did I lose you?"_

A breath escaped her as she moved her mouth in a valiant effort to form any singular word that would let Aubrey know she was still there. Luckily, the breath itself was enough.

 _"_ _Okay, I can hear you breathing. So, judging by your inability to speak, I'm going to venture a guess and say you're calling about Chloe?"_

Beca nodded again. This time, rational thinking suggested that, you know, nodding over the phone was as useless as flicking a light switch when the power's out. She took a moment to shake her head and roll her eyes at her own idiocy.

 _"_ _Right…"_ Aubrey started. _"Well then, I suppose the best I can do without you actually saying anything about what's going on… is to say that whatever it is that's happening, or whatever it is you're feeling, it's going to be okay. And I really do want to talk about it with you, help you if I can, once you're able to find the words to talk about it."_

The brunette found herself, once again, surprised and altogether touched by Aubrey's kindness and understanding. She had never known the older girl to be thoughtful or sympathetic or, really, even _considerate_ when it came to the feelings of others. It was something that Chloe had always assured her that Aubrey had the capacity for, but that Beca had never experienced first-hand… well, not until this past week where it had been shown and proven to her again and again and again. She reminded herself that this Aubrey, today's Aubrey, the one she had on the phone, was a _different_ Aubrey than the one who had chewed her out at semis her freshman year, an Aubrey who had, to put it simply, grown up. An Aubrey who was Beca's friend, and wanted to be a supportive and loving one at that.

The thought filled her with a feeling of warmth, which managed to melt the freeze on her brain and freed up her jaw, allowing her, finally, to string some words together into something that, she thought, at least resembled a complete thought.

"I'm scared."

 _"_ _Scared? You? The big, bad Beca Mitchell?"_ Her joking tone, Beca assumed, was a sad attempt to lighten the mood, to show Beca how silly she was being. But Beca already _knew_ that. That's what she probably hated most about this whole friggin' thing! It was making her over-dramatic. She was losing her cool and she already felt like a total fucking idiot. She really didn't need anyone _reminding_ her of that fact.

"I'm serious, Aubrey! Look, I know it's stupid, but this, like, _fear_ , or whatever… It's overwhelming me! And I don't know what to do, how to fix it…"

She heard a quiet sigh on the other end of the phone. _"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that... Just… tell me what happened."_

There was a long moment of silence after that. Aubrey was waiting, presumably patiently, for Beca to speak, but she needed a moment, not only to collect her thoughts on the subject, but to decide if this is what she really wanted to do… to discuss her innermost thoughts with her former enemy. Okay, that was unfair and Beca knew it. She remembered the picture that accompanied Aubrey's contact info in her cell phone, of them hugging after the ICCAs performance. The moment where the two women came to finally respect each other, love each other even, beautifully captured in the after performance high, before they had even been crowned national champions. Beca had to stop thinking of this woman as a former rival, and recognize her for what she had proven herself to be over the past 3 years, and especially over the last week, a true friend. Someone who cared about Beca, who wanted her to be happy. Someone who was looking out for her best interests, even from afar after graduation.

And so she did what she had intended to do when she picked up her cell in the first place: she spilled her guts. She gave the bulleted list, the short version of the story, of what had happened between her and Chloe thus far (leaving out, of course, the conversation she'd overheard outside the tent the night this all began) and then recounted, in as much detail as she could muster, what had happened just a few hours ago, and how she had felt as it transpired.

 _"_ _So what is it you're afraid of, Beca?"_ Aubrey asked softly when she finished her story.

"I—" but she stopped herself. She actually hadn't really thought of that. Beca knew that was stupid, because of course the obvious analysis technique would be to try to figure out _what_ was causing her to feel such paralyzing fear, then address _that_ issue. But Beca wasn't the best at these things and her focus, thus far, had purely been on just stopping the feeling, not _how_ to stop the feeling. "I… don't know."

 _"_ _You don't know?"_

That sounded a lot like a judgment to Beca, and she didn't like it. She didn't like it one bit. "No!" she practically shouted. "I _don't know_. Okay?!"

Yes, she probably overreacted a little bit, but Aubrey had the uncanny ability, just with the tone of her voice, to cut right through her in a way no one else ever had. It was sort of disturbing, really, how she could do that. And weird, honestly, if she continued that line of thinking… because the ability to pull such _ferocity_ out of Beca over the littlest thing could really only mean, well… that Beca actually _cared_ what Aubrey thought. Why should she care? She was Beca effin' Mitchell and Beca effin' Mitchell totally _didn't care_ about stuff… right?

 _"_ _Okay! Okay,"_ Aubrey conceded. _"But don't you think that we should try to figure that part out?"_

Beca gave a silent eye roll to an empty room, but reminded herself that _she_ had been the one to call Aubrey and that, _yes_ , she did, in fact, kind of _need_ the blonde to help her here. It's not like she had any other options. "I guess," was all she offered, though.

 _"_ _Okay then… So are you – and don't yell at me, but – are you afraid of, like, the act itself?"_

She thought that maybe she should be. I mean, she had _absolutely no idea_ what in the hell she was doing and her experience with sex more generally was… limited, but as she considered that possibility, she knew, just knew, that wasn't it. Chloe had a way of making Beca feel like she could do _anything_ and she also had a way of making Beca feel at ease. No, she wasn't _afraid_ of having sex with Chloe, the act of it anyway. She wasn't _unconcerned_ about it, but it surely wasn't the cause of the overwhelming fear. "Weirdly? No, not really," she finally answered.

 _"_ _That's good, Beca. That's really good!"_ Was it just her imagination or was Aubrey a little too excited to learn that information? Beca thought it was sort of creepy, the way she said that… but she supposed Aubrey had the right to be pleased on Chloe's behalf. " _So then… is it more about, like, what it all_ means _?"_

"What it _means_?" Beca shot back too quickly. "What do you mean, ' _what it all means_?"

She heard Aubrey clear her throat. _"You know… like, well… like what having sex with her would_ mean _… you know, like what it would mean_ for you _?_ "

Beca, again, felt stupid for not considering something so obvious. Obvious insofar as Beca was acting like this whole _thing_ was somehow unique. Of course it wasn't. Of course it was all the same sort of stuff a person has to deal with when connecting with someone sexually, or romantically, for the first time. All the same concerns and all the same fears were at work here. " _Experimenting"_ with Chloe was no exception.

"I hadn't really thought about that…" Beca answered honestly, her voice tinged with something akin to sadness.

 _"_ _I mean… if-if I were in, you know—"_ Aubrey cut herself off. She sounded hesitant, nervous even, and was clearly unsure if she should say what she was about to say because of course she couldn't stop now. If she didn't continue on her own, Beca would have asked her what she was going to say. It was odd to hear Aubrey, a person with an almost excessive amount of outward self-confidence, sounding uncertain about anything. Beca hadn't heard such a tone from the blonde woman since she had begun to second guess everything she knew about a capella in favor of the insane notions of a nonconforming alt girl. _"If I were, like, in your position,"_ Aubrey hedged, _"I'd probably be worried about, you know, what it said about_ me _, what it_ meant _about my_ sexuality _…"_

It was another _super obvious_ thought that Beca hadn't really thought of, or at the very least, hadn't yet found the words to articulate it. Yeah, that definitely _was_ a little scary. If Beca had sex with Chloe, and especially if she _enjoyed it_ , would that make her… what? What would that make her? Bisexual? Suddenly, an even more frightening thought quickly flashed before her… what if she was a lesbian? She swallowed hard and panic briefly gripped her, but she was able to shake that thought swiftly from her mind. Sex with Jesse may not have been _great_ , but she still _enjoyed it_. There was no way that Beca Mitchell wasn't into dudes, but it was very possible that if she _was_ into Chloe – which was a glaringly evident fact that she was slowly but surely (and finally) coming to terms with – then _maybe_ she was into women in a much more general sense…

And yeah… definitely scary, but Beca had always been unconventional. She was a nonconformist at heart, someone who defied labels and put little, if any, stock into them. The fact that her sexuality was potentially changing, or growing, was slightly petrifying, sure, but it wasn't probably what was holding her back here… because whatever having sex with Chloe might have "meant" for the world's definition of her own sexual orientation, well… Beca simply didn't give a shit about that. She wasn't afraid of labels. Beca was Beca, and no word would change that.

So maybe that was part of it, part of the problem at hand, but it certainly wasn't the whole story. In fact, it wasn't even half the story. It was some minuscule amount of what was really freaking her out.

A sick feeling started to bubble in Beca's stomach. "Maybe a little…" was her shy response.

 _"_ _Oh."_ Beca could tell Aubrey was surprised by that, could tell that the blonde had felt _certain_ she had just pinpointed _exactly_ what it was Beca was afraid of, and really didn't have anything else to offer. _"So… something else, then?"_ she genuinely queried.

 _Yeah,_ Beca thought, _something else._ Aubrey wasn't really that far off. She was right to ask the question she asked, to point the brunette toward what this experiment might _mean_. She was just a bit off the mark on what it was Beca was worried it meant.

Aubrey had shone the light in the right direction. It illuminated something for Beca that the former captain wasn't even aware of, that she couldn't see herself, but Beca could see it. She could see it in full Technicolor. Beca's fear wasn't of the act, and it wasn't of what the act might mean about her sexual orientation. No, Beca was afraid of what it might mean for her relationship with Chloe. She could feel it tingling within her: this relationship was going to _change_. And, yeah, that's what Beca wanted from the start. She wanted to be closer to Chloe, as close as possible, really, but… Well, she hadn't realized that wanting to be closer to her best friend necessarily meant that she maybe, kind of, sort of _liked_ the other girl. Like, to borrow that middle school phrase again, _liked her_ liked her. Or perhaps even… well, _worse_ than liked her.

Beca wasn't quite ready to communicate that, though. Only bits and pieces of the revelation had even been properly articulated in her own mind at that point, so she surely wasn't about to attempt to share those incomplete thoughts with Aubrey. Instead, and honestly without really thinking about anything at all, Beca said something else, something that surprised even herself.

"Jesse…"

 _"_ _Jesse?"_ Aubrey sounded confused.

"Well, um…" _Why the fuck did you say that?!_ she scolded herself. And really, she had _no_ idea what possessed her to say that, to mention him. She had to cover, had to say something else. She knew it, but she couldn't. Instead, she sputtered over her words as she tried anything that would even remotely pass for English.

But Aubrey Posen wasn't a particularly patient human being. She cut Beca off before she could even attempt to explain herself. _"Why is he a problem? I thought you guys broke up?"_

Beca shook her head vehemently. Heat rushed to her face. "No, no, no, no, no" she hurried. "Uh… I mean, yes… we did… um, sort of. I mean—like, n-not… forever? I don't know!" She was flustered, and inarticulate, and she knew it, but it's not like she could stop it.

 _"_ _You_ don't know _?!"_ Aubrey was practically yelling, which seemed incredibly unnecessary to Beca, but she tried not to focus on it. _"Do you know_ anything _, Beca? Anything at all?!"_ And yeah, Beca could understand Aubrey's confusion, and her frustration. It's not like she'd been eloquent, or even coherent really, during this conversation. But she could sense also that Aubrey was actually, like, angry… for some reason. The blonde honestly sounded almost hurt. And Beca didn't know why she brought up Jesse in this moment, but she had… and maybe it was a Freudian slip of some kind because now that she was thinking about it, yeah, Jesse did actually have a place in this fear equation. After all, if her relationship with Chloe changed in the way she was terrified it might, then Jesse was, well, no longer in the equation. They wouldn't be picking up where they left off when they "took a break." She wouldn't be meeting him in LA. In fact, the way she envisioned her _entire future_ would be caput. Graduation was going to happen any minute now, really, and this _thing_ , this goddamn _thing_ , with Chloe… if it continued…and if it continued in the way a rational Beca had to concede that it, at the very least, _could_ … well, then she really had no future at all, or at least that's how it felt, to Beca.

And that was a lot of fucking pressure to be under right now, especially with Worlds right around the corner, too. What was Beca even going to _say_ to Jesse if all those things that she thought could potentially happen, did actually happen?

The brunette took several deep breaths, attempting to calm herself, to will her mind into a place where it could manage to speak to Aubrey in a clear and sensible manner because she knew, despite whatever exasperation the other girl was currently experiencing, she was here to _help_ Beca. She wanted to help Beca deal with this.

Just as she was beginning to get a hold of herself and to form rational thoughts again, Aubrey did something that the Aubrey of the past never would have done. She apologized, almost readily. _"I'm sorry. That was unfair of me."_

Beca was shocked by the raw sincerity of the blonde's expression of regret, and in this moment she realized that she needed to stop being surprised that Aubrey was a kind and decent human being. She'd proven herself enough already, time and again. Beca really needed to let go of the way they clashed freshman year. Now was the time to do it, and as she loudly exhaled, she could practically feel the built-up resentment rush from her body and evaporate into the air around her.

"I thought I was going to meet him in LA after graduation," she slowly explained. "I thought we were going to get back together. That's… well, that's what we had talked about anyway." Beca hadn't shared that information with anyone, not even with Chloe. She had, more or less, refused to talk about her split with the Treble to anyone who asked. She wasn't really sure why, but she just didn't want to talk about it with anyone. It was… too hard to talk about. Not because it was painful (thought it was), not really… but it felt almost _embarrassing_ to her, to talk about it. So she just hadn't, except to tell the Bellas that she and Jesse were no longer together. All of them, of course, shared their condolences and offered a variety of opportunities to mope and eat cookie dough straight out of the container, but Beca had rejected all of it. She told herself that was because she knew her and Jesse would be together again, so mourning over the loss of something that would knowingly be rediscovered in just a few months seemed a waste of time. But now…

She didn't get a chance to finish that thought, because Aubrey interrupted to ask her the same question she was asking herself. _"And… you don't think that anymore?"_

She still felt hesitant, felt unsure, about exactly what it was she was thinking and feeling, but her brain decided to make the leap anyway, to say the thing her gut was telling her was the undeniable truth. "No, Bree. I don't."

* * *

 _ **A/N** : So maybe this is a weird thing to say, but I really enjoyed writing this one, so I hope you guys enjoy it, too! This chapter was supposed to have another scene... but the Beca/Aubrey conversation ended up being a bit bigger, and longer, than I thought it would be... so I'm going to have to restructure my outline a bit moving forward. But never fear! You guys will still get all the same goodness. Happy almost Friday, nerds._


	9. Chapter 9

At her internship the next day, Beca found herself thinking about Aubrey. Well, about her conversation with Aubrey. It had taken an unexpected turn, but an important one, and Aubrey was able to help advise her a bit. The phone call had most served to simply ease Beca's mind, though. It felt good to get it all out there, and naturally, at least attempting to articulate the things she was feeling helped push her toward the actual realization of those feelings.

Yeah, eventually she was going to have to talk to Jesse about what was going on. Aubrey encouraged her – for now at least – to just try and relax. It's very possible that the Jesse bridge was one she was going to have to cross in the future, maybe even the near future, but Beca didn't have to cross it right now. It wasn't worth worrying about now, Aubrey had explained, and Beca should just try to focus on the present, to try and enjoy what was happening between her and Chloe for what it was, and worry about the repercussions later. And it had sounded really logical to Beca, which was weird because "living in the moment" had a sort of hippie nonsense vibe to it, which was surprising coming from Aubrey, and yet the way the blonde had described it had made it seem just so rational and so… _practical_.

Something about it was so soothing to Beca. Sure, Chloe had a way of making her always feels comfortable, even in the strangest of situations, but the way Aubrey approached problems was something Beca really jived with, something she could really relate to. It was like she shared a wavelength with the former captain, a way of thinking that was scarily similar. Beca wasn't sure why she hadn't realized it earlier. It was clear now that all their conflict from her freshman year was 100% due to the fact that she and Aubrey were _too similar_. They were stubborn – probably to a fault – in their own rationality. They didn't value sentimentality, nor did they value kindness if it came at the expense of honesty. Beca found herself more easily flustered, and perhaps more prone to emotional outbursts, but the truth was that she thought of herself as a logical person and so Aubrey's sort of common-sense way of overcoming life's little adversities just _made sense_ to her, in a way that Chloe's more "think with your heart" approach never could.

Beca was just so glad that she had Aubrey to talk to because it made her feel endlessly better about this situation than she ever really thought possible, at least for the moment… but for the moment was really all she needed to move forward, to continue, to try again. And it was in this moment, while she was in the kitchen organizing the just delivered lunch orders at Residual Heat, that she received the following text from Chloe:

 _You know… I'd really like to see you without the bra sometime… ;)_

Her heart thumped loudly in her chest only once, but the reverberation of it rippled through her and made her stomach drop. She pocketed the phone and finished grouping each person's order together. Retrieving the phone once more, she swallowed hard as she re-read the text. She felt like she was sweating, but still managed to slowly type out her reply. While Beca wasn't proud of how long it took her to produce this particular quip, she had to give herself some props for it. It was a good one.

 ** _You already have… remember?_**

Beca barely had time to re-pocket her phone before Chloe's near instantaneous response caused the device to vibrate again.

 _Mm. How could I forget?_

The phone buzzed again in her hand as a second message appeared on the screen.

 _Do you know how many times I've thought about that? About you?_

A cold, sort of sick feeling rushed from her head down to her toes. She felt like crawling in a hole and dying right now would be a great option, but alas, there were no holes in her immediate vicinity. She placed her phone face down on the counter, opting to go about her deliveries now while she wrestled with Chloe's confession and tried to figure out how in the hell she was supposed to respond to something like that. She quickly placed the newly organized lunch orders (now labeled in Sharpie with each recipient's name) in the box the delivery woman had brought them in. Then she grabbed that box, without another look at her phone, and hurried off to complete her intern-ly duties.

It was only when she returned to the kitchen to retrieve her phone that Beca realized how stupid it was to leave it there in first place. Sure, the thing was locked, so it's not like anyone could have feasibly _seen_ what Chloe had written, but the threat of that still felt pretty real. (Not to mention, someone could have simply stolen it, of course.)

When she picked the device back up, she had four new texts from Chloe.

 _I'd love the chance to see you again…_

 _To be able to touch you this time_

 _Beca?_

 _Shit. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said any of that…_

Beca found herself kind of amused by the whole internal debacle Chloe must have just put herself through. I mean, really, Beca had been gone no longer than 10 minutes or so. The kind of panic that the redhead must have been experiencing was definitely excessive. But somehow it was kind of cute that Chloe cared that much, that she was feeling that level of anxiety over attempting to flirt with, or maybe even seduce Beca.

 ** _Dude, I am at WORK. I have to do WORK things._**

The response, again, was almost immediate. So fast, in fact, that it was received before the second text Beca was tapping out could be sent. _Oh, thank GOD_

 ** _You're such a WEIRDO_**

 _Sorry._

 ** _It's fine. I'm going to go back to WORK now._**

Beca pocketed the phone and headed out of the kitchen, toward the conference room area that she was supposed to be setting up for a staff meeting later. Her phone vibrated again before she even crossed the threshold.

 _Right. Sorry. So, I'll see you later? :)_

The brunette smiled down at the screen. This uncertainty or neediness or whatever it was that Chloe was showcasing at the moment was unlike anything she'd ever received from her friend. Well, that wasn't exactly true. It wasn't really _unlike_ the Chloe she knew. In fact, it was incredibly like her, but this situation had sort of reframed the behavior and Beca found herself looking at it in a different way than ever before. This Chloe was simply _adorable._ And maybe she was _always_ adorable when she was acting like this… maybe Beca had just never really realized it before. She was too busy feigning annoyance, probably, to notice how sweet and lovable it was. The newfound awareness warmed her cold, black heart, and she just couldn't stop herself from smiling.

 ** _Yeah, you'll see me later_**

Once the message was sent, she held the power button until her phone shut off and then pocketed it one last time. She felt a little guilty to go radio silent on Chloe, but she was at work, and she really needed to focus… and thinking about Chloe thinking about her was just… well, it was more distraction than her body could honestly tolerate.

* * *

As promised, Beca showed up at Chloe's bedroom door later that day. The door was open just a crack, and the light from the room spilled onto the carpet in the hallway. She pushed the door open slowly, curling her fingers around the edge as she poked her head into the room. Her friend was facing away from her; she had herself propped up on her elbows in front of her laptop, laying on her stomach, knees bent and ankles crossed. Her red curls were secured on top of her head in a messy bun. Beca's eyes trailed down the other girl's back, clad in a white, ribbed tank, and took in the sight of the pink too-short shorts that left little to the imagination. The brunette exhaled a nearly silent sigh in the doorway.

"I know, Bree. It's just so fucking _hard_. I miss you so much and I just want you here, with us. I hate doing this without you."

Beca looked at the computer screen, only slightly blocked by Chloe's head, and was met with those brilliant blue-green eyes, staring straight back at her. Aubrey had spotted her in the doorway, and her jaw slowly began to drop as Chloe continued her outburst.

"I just want you both to—"

 _"_ _Chloe!"_ Aubrey shouted on the screen, pointing a strong finger toward Beca.

"What?" the redhead asked before noting Aubrey's motion and abruptly turning to face Beca, whose head was still the only part of her poking into the room. "Oh-OH! Beca! Um, hi?" she stammered.

Beca felt strangely guilty, like she had been caught doing something that she shouldn't be doing. She hadn't meant to interrupt the conversation; she didn't even know there was a conversation being had. "I-um-Sorry? I-I'll just… come back… later," she sputtered, using the hand formerly holding fast to the door to gesture pathetically.

The brunette heard Aubrey's voice first as both girls gave an emphatic "no!" in protest of her leaving. Beca shifted her feet, edging her body slightly more into the room, though still clinging to the brown, wooden door like a shield.

"I mean," Chloe amended, "it's fine. We were just wrapping up anyway. Come in."

As requested, she stepped the rest of the way into the room, closing the door as she collapsed against it, her shoulders slouched. She gave a wave that looked a bit more like a salute to the computer screen, gaze focused on the floor beneath her feet. "Hi, Aubrey," she said, moving her right hand to grip the back of her neck. She was feeling _incredibly_ awkward right now, and it absolutely showed.

 _"_ _Hey, Beca. It's good to_ see _you for a change,"_ the blonde offered kindly.

She pressed her lips together tightly and nodded, eyes now fixated on the wall to her left. This situation was _so_ uncomfortable. Why did she peek into Chloe's room that way? If she was going to invite herself in, why couldn't she have barged in loudly and not made everything so _goddamn_ awkward?! Beca's thoughts spun in circles for a moment, until she landed on an unexpected question. _Wait, why is this awkward?_

A strange question it was, mostly because it was a question that shouldn't exist. Sure, Beca had the impressive ability of bringing awkward discomfort to a variety of situations… but this really _shouldn't_ be one of them. Beca hadn't been _too_ weird with her uninvited glimpse into the room. It's not like she was trying to be quiet about it, trying to spy on Chloe's room. Sure, maybe she should have announced herself, but she had just been so distracted by the sight of Chloe that she had forgotten to. And whose fault was _that_ really? Certainly not hers. Not to mention that _Chloe_ had left the door cracked open in the first place…

She had walked in on a Skype session between two of her friends. If it had been a private conversation, wouldn't Chloe have had the good sense to have it somewhere other than the Bella house? Or to lock the door, or even just _close it_? No, it shouldn't have been awkward at all. So why, then, was she feeling like she just walked in on something?

 _"_ _Okay then… I'll leave you two to… well, to whatever."_ Beca felt her cheeks instantly flush red. She was pretty sure she'd never been so embarrassed in her life. Well, maybe that one time her dad had walked in on her and Jesse making out on the couch while _Return of the Jedi_ was playing, completely unwatched, on the TV. Yeah, actually, that was a little bit what this felt like. Sure, she was the one who had walked into the room, but it's like Aubrey had caught her and Chloe doing something. In fact, in a way, she kind of had. Beca was here for a reason, and that reason was surely obvious to Aubrey who had gotten the whole story from Beca herself, and probably listened to Chloe's side of things, too.

Maybe that's what was so weird about it, weird in a way that was different from the experience with her father. Aubrey had been a part of this from the start. It was her conversation with Chloe outside the tent back at the Lodge that had spurred this whole thing into actual existence, and not just some unrealized fantasy concocted by the redhead. Her willingness to be a sounding board of guidance for Beca further encouraged this… this _thing_ and, actually thinking back on it now, even the day they departed aca-boot camp, the blonde seemed to know something that Beca didn't, seemed to be trying to impart _something_ – some kind of knowledge – to her.

Beca was now realizing that Aubrey had been strangely present throughout this whole experience, even though she wasn't physically with them. That realization was _so weird_ to Beca, but she mostly shrugged it off. It's not like "experimenting" with your best friend came with some sort of instruction manual. Maybe it wasn't as abnormal as it seemed. Needing a confidant to help sort through what was happening – and all the emotions that came with it – seemed _pretty_ natural, right?

A barely there voice in the back of her head was telling her that all wasn't exactly what it seemed, but she chose to ignore it. She chalked it up to paranoia brought about by her own social anxiety. Everything was fine and her own awkwardness was the only thing bringing discomfort to the current moment, she concluded.

"I'll call you later, okay, Bree?" Chloe's voice brought Beca back to reality, reminded her what she was doing in the room in the first place.

 _"_ _Sure,"_ Aubrey responded before looking to Beca again. _"Bye, Beca."_

"Yeah, uh," the brunette coughed, "Bye!"

The blonde smiled brightly on screen and then, giving the redhead a wink, with the click of a button, her face disappeared from the screen. Chloe shut her laptop, placing it on the floor before turning around to meet Beca's gaze.

"Uh, so…" Beca stumbled, shifting her weight away from the bedroom door. She watched as a slow grin spread across the redhead's face, bright, blue eyes wide and stunningly iridescent, and the brunette wondered silently how it was even possible that someone could be as beautiful as Chloe Beale. It was really just unfair.

"Come here," Chloe said, her voice low and _so_ intoxicating, as she waggled a finger at Beca. She felt drawn, like a moth to a flame, and honestly wasn't even conscious of her legs moving as she drifted toward the bed. As she approached, Chloe slowly lowered herself down until she was lying flat on her back, her finger continuing to beckon Beca to her. It was the glint in her eye, though, that pulled the DJ onto the bed, that willed her onto hands and knees, and that begged her to crawl up the length of the redhead's body. Beca wondered if she would ever again be able to resist the draw of Chloe's eyes. Hovering still over her, she dropped her gaze to Chloe's lips. As she carefully lowered herself to capture them in her own, she couldn't help but wonder if she would ever again be able to resist her lips either, because, Beca thought, kissing Chloe was like getting the smallest taste of heaven, and she was beginning to crave it. She was, perhaps, even beginning to _need_ it like she needed, say, air.

Yes, Beca was becoming more and more addicted to the sensation of kissing her best friend because, simple as it was, it brought about a level of warmth and contentment she never thought she would feel. Chloe's tongue swiped across her bottom lip as hands reached up to pull at her jawline, and Beca groaned as that tongue slipped effortlessly into her mouth. There was a sudden rush to her head as a feeling of dizziness began to overpower her. Chloe's left hand drifted down her neck, thumb dragging small circles against the sensitive skin below her ear. Beca swung her right leg over Chloe's hips and freeing the girl's hair of its elastic before burying her fingers into unkempt curls. Chloe's hand continued its journey down Beca's neck until her fingers gripped her shoulder, thumb pressed across her throat. The unsteadiness she was feeling finally got to her, and she allowed herself to slowly collapse on top of Chloe, unable to hold herself up any longer.

Beca was all too aware of how it felt to have their bodies pressed flush together as hips surged upwards against her. Chloe moaned into her mouth at the contact and Beca felt her brain tingle as her center warmed. That heat radiated through her which such intensity that Beca felt as though she couldn't breathe. As much as it pained her to do so, she had to break the kiss. She laid still for a moment, panting against the redhead's neck, whose fingers dug into the backs of her shoulders as she exhaled a breathy whine, writhing against the woman straddling her.

Being intimate with Chloe had a way of completely overwhelming Beca's senses, often rendering her immobile not unlike she was at the moment. But the uncanny thing about it was the way in which her body – after the initial freeze, of course – always seemed to act of its own accord, free of instruction from the rational side of her brain. Something else took over in these moments, and it was something that felt an awful lot like instinct. It was so freeing, to Beca – amazingly so, in fact – that her brain could just turn itself off that way, that she was suddenly and inexplicably free of the anxieties that normally plagued her thinking.

So, without a second thought, she sat upright and pulled her own shirt off, tossing it aside. She felt the rush of cool air against her newly unrestricted skin and felt infinitely grateful for it. It had gotten much, _much_ too hot in the bedroom all of a sudden. She sighed in relief at the sensation before reaching down to urge Chloe up, until she was sitting upright as well. Beca's fingers clung to the hem of the girl's white tank and as she began to tug, Chloe lifted her arms, allowing the brunette to easily remove the garment and discard it as well.

Beca was taken aback as Chloe surged toward her, recapturing her mouth in a passionate kiss. In what felt like an impressive singular movement, Chloe had managed to unhook Beca's bra. Without breaking the kiss, she pulled the clothing, with a bit of Beca's help, from her and tossed it aside before removing her own with the same swiftness. A sudden pounding in Beca's head moved through her body before settling somewhere low in her stomach. She felt fingers scrape up her back and cling to the hair at the base of her head as the redhead tried to pull her impossibly closer, to further deepen the kiss. And in that moment she felt, for the first time, Chloe's bare breasts pressed against her own and both women moaned simultaneously at the new, unfamiliar sensation.

Beca's brain spared a moment of rational thought, allowing her to acknowledge, only momentarily, just how _crazy_ this all was. But then instinct, or whatever it was, resumed its seizure of cognitive reasoning and all sanity was once again lost. The pressure building in her core began to pulse and she shifted her hips awkwardly against Chloe's, desperately seeking relief. Positioning, however, forbade the reprieve and Beca gave a frustrated groan.

She felt Chloe give a rough tug on her hair, pulling her head back. Beca's brow furrowed as their lips parted, her teeth clenched as she inhaled a sharp, hissing breath. And then suddenly, and without warning, Beca found herself on her back, still hissing, with wrists pinned above her head as Chloe leaned down to suck at the flesh of her neck. The older girl shifted Beca's hands in such a way that she was able to hold them both with just her left hand. Beca felt the right hand press firmly against her chest before slowly gliding downward to palm one of her breasts. And this was a new sensation, too, but a sensation she found herself reveling in as Chloe's thumb circled her nipple.

It was all becoming a bit too much to handle and Beca found herself having trouble breathing as Chloe's hand continued its southward journey down her stomach. Her breath hitched before she managed a loud exhale and then a few short, shallow intakes of breath. It was making her feel lightheaded, or at least so she thought. Chloe's fingers stalled at the edge of Beca's pants before traveling over them. She wasn't sure if Chloe was actually moving as agonizingly slowly as she seemed to be, or if time itself had abruptly shifted into slow motion. Her breathing stopped altogether as she felt Chloe's fingers drag across her through the fabric of her jeans. Chloe's hand continued down until her fingers began to curl. Beca had a sudden awareness of Chloe's teeth against her throat as the girl decisively pressed the heel of her hand against her.

Beca moaned a little too loudly and the sound of it immediately snapped her out of her weird trance-like state. Her eyes shot open and panic took hold as her mind raced. Chloe must have felt her body tense because the hand between her legs disappeared and the mouth formerly at her neck pulled away to breathily ask: "Becs… you okay?"

Unlike the last time this happened, Beca didn't really know what to do, or how to respond. There was a part of her that felt like shaking her head. It was the same part of her that was making her feel like she wanted to cry right now. But there was another option vying for attention… to continue. Aubrey's voice was ringing clearly somewhere in the back of her head, telling her that it was _okay_ , that she didn't need all the answers right now, that she should just enjoy whatever was happening. That voice was a convincing one and it really did calm her… at least until she looked at Chloe.

A mess of striking red curls framed flawless skin, cheeks tinged with just a hint of pink, lips ever so slightly parted, brow creased with concern. Chloe Beale had always been beautiful, to Beca, but at this particular moment she looked nothing short of breathtaking. When her eyes landed upon bright blue ones, filled with love and a bit of apprehension, she noticed Chloe's still dilated pupils. Her chest tightened and she could feel her heart thumping. She only hoped that Chloe couldn't feel it. And that feeling she felt – yes, she knew what it was – was enough to make her decision for her.

"Yeah, Chlo. I'm okay," she said. "But… can we just, um… I think I need a break." She wiggled a bit awkwardly under the weight of her friend. "Can you, uh…" she used her head, and eyes, to explain what she couldn't quite bring herself to say for some reason.

"Oh, totes. Sorry," Chloe muttered, removing herself from Beca to instead lay on her side, head propped up on an elbow, facing her. Beca closed her eyes and took a deep breath, letting out a long exhale.

"Aubrey taught you that."

Beca turned her head to look at her smiling companion. "Taught me what?"

"To breath," Chloe replied before mimicking Beca's relaxation technique. She quirked an eyebrow at the redhead who further explained, with a bit of a laugh. "She taught me that, too."

Beca flashed a bit of smirk, nodding in agreement.

"Where would we be without her, am I right?" Chloe giggled.

Beca took a moment to think back over the last four years. She thought of all the ways in which Aubrey had – perhaps unintentionally – contributed to Beca's own personal development. Without Aubrey there to push her, Beca never would have become the leader, nor the woman, she was today. She supposed that Chloe must have felt similarly herself. Aubrey was nothing if not an incredible motivator.

Her eyes flickered down and she was reminded of her friend's bare chest, and of her own. While she did feel a minute amount of embarrassment, she was strangely calm. She was, for a change, at ease with what had just happened and was content to be lying here next to a half-naked Chloe, half-naked herself.

 _Where would we be…_ she thought. _Well, certainly not here._

* * *

 _ **A/N:**_ _Thank you MLK Day for giving me the day off from work and some much needed time to finish off this chapter. Hope you are all still enjoying this tale! Reviews always welcome, and appreciated, and give me all the good feels. :)_


	10. Chapter 10

_**A/N:** To Phi, the guest who is absolutely on my wavelength... I like your style. :) I hope you enjoy this chapter, which I swear has been in my notes/on my outline since the inception of this story._

 _To everyone else - I have some news. I created a tumblr account so I could better interact with all you aca-lovin' nerds. So come follow me at **v3ronica-summ3rs** , where you can ask me anything!_

* * *

Try as she might, Beca couldn't appease the aching between her legs. She was laying in her own bed, desperately begging for sleep, legs twisted in a sad attempt to ease her own painful arousal. The thought of reaching her hand down to satisfy herself played in her mind. And really, what was stopping her? Amy wasn't here. She had barely spent a night in their room since she realized, and subsequently confessed, that she was in love with Bumper. But Beca felt weird about it – guilty, or dirty maybe? It's not like she was a stranger to touching herself, but something about doing it with a certain redhead in mind felt… uncomfortable to her? And that, honestly, only made her _more_ frustrated. What was the big deal? Chloe had literally tried to – even _started_ to – do it _for_ her less than an hour ago. She felt pretty certain that Chloe would actually, like, _want_ Beca to finish what she had started if the redhead couldn't finish it herself. So, yeah, Beca was feeling guilty about feeling guilty… which was up there in the list of the _stupidest_ feelings she had ever had.

Maybe it was because of Jesse? He was still her boyfriend after all… Wait… no he wasn't. Jesse _wasn't_ her boyfriend. He had broken up with her _four months ago_ now. And maybe that was Beca's whole problem? She was still thinking of herself as a non-single person, still thinking of Jesse as her boyfriend, when, in fact, he was now just a friend. A good friend, sure. A friend she wished she could tell about what was going on between her and Chloe, but a _friend_ nevertheless. The truth was… she really didn't owe him anything, not even an explanation, let alone her chastity. She had to admit to herself that her plans had changed, that even if she wanted to, there was no way she going back to Jesse after this whole experience. She had to let it go and instead live with the uncertainty of the future.

Beca tried to focus on what was freeing about that, instead of everything that was terrifying about it, but really she couldn't focus on much of anything, what with the throbbing between her legs which had spawned a throbbing in her temples. She pulled the pillow out from underneath her head and pressed it against her face, releasing a long, low grunt of frustration.

While she was certainly frustrated by the state of her arousal, she was also annoyed with herself. She was _so close_ , so _very_ close to _not_ freaking out about Chloe touching her. Aubrey had really helped get her into a better mindset on the whole thing, but apparently, she hadn't helped quite enough. She couldn't stop herself from panicking as she felt Chloe's hand move against… well, as she felt what she felt. And it was maddening, really, that she couldn't push through this. Because every touch, every kiss, every moment with Chloe served to illuminate further just how badly Beca _wanted_ to. Fuck, how she _wanted to_.

As her exasperation grew to a new and unprecedented level, she found herself reaching for her phone. It was only after she'd hit the name, only after her phone was already ringing that it occurred to her that this was probably not one of the best choices she'd ever made.

 _"_ _Hello?"_ came the questioning voice.

Beca swallowed hard, squinting her eyes shut tightly. "Aubrey! Um, hi…" she said, shaking her head.

 _"_ _Beca?"_

"Uh – yeah, it's me," she stuttered. "Sorry, um, are you talking to-to… because I can totally c-catch you later, um, it's not like—"

 _"_ _No, I'm not,"_ the blonde interrupted. _"Now is fine time to chat. What's going on?"_

Beca didn't know what to say and didn't have the slightest clue what possessed her to call Aubrey in the first place, if she was being honest. The ever present throbbing between her legs wasn't making it any easier to focus – to come up with _something, anything_ to say to Aubrey right now – either.

 _"_ _What's wrong, Beca? You sound… distressed."_

Something about the way Aubrey said that made Beca laugh. It wasn't that it was funny, because Aubrey sounded genuinely concerned, but there was something about this whole situation that was just… well, laughable… and Beca couldn't stop herself.

 _"_ _Is something funny?"_ She sounded confused, but also a little offended, maybe even hurt. That's not what Beca intended, of course, and she was quick to apologize.

"No, sorry. I mean – yes, kind of?" Beca said, still chuckling despite herself. She cleared her throat, taking on a more serious tone now. "I'm sorry. I don't even know why I called you…"

 _"_ _Oh,"_ Aubrey paused. _"Did something happen with Chloe? Do you want to talk about it?"_

Beca's breath caught, and it shouldn't have. It didn't take an intuitive genius to figure out that she was probably calling about what had _obviously_ just happened between her and Chloe, but the question caught her by surprise anyway. She didn't know how to respond, and the mention of Chloe's name was making her suddenly aware of that itch she couldn't quite scratch. She shifted beneath the blankets uncomfortably.

"Uh-I mean, we… w-we—uh…." _Yep_. _That was_ wonderful _display of English,_ she sarcastically commended herself. _Now there's a fuckin' surprise._

 _"_ _Did you get, uh… further than last time?"_

Beca appreciated Aubrey's gentle candor. She appreciated the sort of guise the blonde was constructing, a way of talking about this that made it seem like it was a normal conversation to be having instead of the totally crazy, not at all normal, conversation it actually was. It's not every day a girl approaches a female friend for guidance in regard to sexual contact with a mutual female friend. Honestly, regardless of the added gender twist, this wasn't the kind of conversation that Beca had _ever_ had in her life. Talking about this stuff was weird. She didn't know what she was supposed to say, or how she was supposed to say it, but Aubrey had been really sympathetic and reassuring. She had a way of talking that helped Beca navigate the conversation, in a way that, sure, made her feel a bit uncomfortable, but didn't make her feel like she wanted to run away screaming. And that was kind of amazing, actually – kind of _unbelievable_ , really, but all of the events since the retreat had been pretty fucking unbelievable, if she took time to think about it… which, she didn't really… at least not at this moment.

"Yeah, um, I–" she started to say something, but cut herself off, unsure of how exactly she should explain what had just happened. "Yeah."

 _"_ _That's so good!"_ Aubrey's voice was kind, and supportive, it put Beca almost instantly at ease. It made her feel good, about what had happened. It cleared up some of the fuzzy confusion that was currently surrounding the memory.

 _"_ _Did she touch you?"_ Aubrey asked. Her voice was now rough and throaty, a tone Beca couldn't quite pinpoint and certainly had never heard before from the blonde woman. It threw her off a bit.

"What?"

 _"_ _I said,"_ came the same rasping tone, this time a bit more deliberate, a voice that was careful to articulate every sound in each of its words, _"did she_ touch _you?"_

Aubrey's words shot through her like an electric shock, working from her head down her spine until she found herself once again aware of her pulsing center. Beca was certain she was sweating. She screwed her eyes shut. She couldn't breathe. She swallowed hard before tightly twisting her legs together. Instinctively, her hips lifted off the mattress as an involuntary whimper escaped her lips and traveled through the phone.

Embarrassment rushed through her instantly. She found herself silently entreating a god she wasn't entirely sure she believed in. _Please, please,_ please. _Don't let her have heard that._

But Beca Mitchell had never been that lucky. _"She did, didn't she?"_

The tenor of Aubrey's voice was certainly not helping Beca's situation. It was so raw, so heated. Beca could practically feel the way the blonde's blue-green eyes widened as she spoke. And it was weird, it was _so_ weird the way it was all making her feel right now, but Beca couldn't help it. She ached all over.

 _"_ _Did you let her, Beca? Did you let her touch you?"_

It was the way Aubrey had said her name that let loose another unconscious squeak from Beca's throat. This was too much. It was all too much. She had to hang up the phone. She knew she had to, but it was like she was entranced by Aubrey's voice. She couldn't stop listening. _What the fuck is happening?_ was all Beca could think.

 _"_ _You did,"_ Aubrey stated, almost calmly. Then after a moment, the realization must have struck her. _"You didn't let her finish,"_ she breathed. It was a statement, not a question. She was sure.

But the certainty in her voice quickly vanished. _"Beca, I-I-"_ she stammered.

Then, silence. Beca's mind was racing, not unlike it always did when she was with Chloe, but this was different. Now she was alone; she wasn't with Aubrey. That fact subdued the panic into something else, something a bit more manageable. It allowed Beca the ability to better decipher what she was actually thinking.

This phone call was more than a little weird. It was _fucking absurd_. Beca couldn't decide what was more messed up: the fact that Aubrey seemed to be turned on, or the fact that _Beca_ was finding her already aroused state heightened by this. She spared a moment to acknowledge the fact that not two weeks ago, Beca had never found herself particularly aroused by another woman. The Chloe thing, well, Beca had assumed that was more of a "just a Chloe" thing. And sure, she was already itching when she called Aubrey. So maybe this reaction was only to be expected. Maybe it didn't mean that Beca now found herself turned on by _two_ women, which would probably be some kind of definitive proof that this wasn't "just a Chloe" thing. No, it was a _Beca_ thing, specifically a "Beca's at least a little bit gay" thing.

 _So, that's a messed up thing…_

Aubrey's breathing suddenly broke the silence. She said nothing, but Beca could hear her, knew she was still there. Beca couldn't bring herself to say anything either. What would she possibly even say right now? Yet, she couldn't hang up either. So she sat, listening to Aubrey's rhythmic inhales and exhales. But even that was becoming an issue, for Beca. It was all too much; it was just too painful. She couldn't take it any longer, couldn't just continue laying there, saying nothing and doing nothing. So she cleared her throat.

 _"_ _You can… uh. I mean, you're allowed to-to…"_ The blonde's voice was still low and yet uncertain. Beca was glad that Aubrey was having as much trouble with this conversation as she was. It was good to be among anxious and confused company for a change. It felt nice to know she wasn't the only person on earth who stumbled over weird awkwardness of this nature. It made her feel slightly less idiotic and socially inept, at least for the current second.

Beca's train of thought was lost when Aubrey spoke again, this time with the same bold and certain confidence in which she captained the Bellas, or ran the Lodge. _"It's okay to touch yourself."_

Beca froze. The conversation had suddenly taken a step from "super weird" to "what the actual fuck." And yet… Beca couldn't deny the fact that she was probably turned on more right now, in this moment, than she had ever been in her _entire_ life. The throbbing was persistent. In fact, it was downright _excruciating_ – and really, Beca was only teasing herself here, dragging out the agony like the incredibly stubborn thing she was. There was no need to put herself through this. Aubrey was right. Obviously it was okay for a _grown-ass_ lady to indulge herself after a particularly heated sexual encounter that left her, ultimately, unfulfilled. She felt stupid for needing to hear those words out loud at all, but yeah, that was kind of what she needed to hear. And it must have been what she had called Aubrey for. Which made this whole thing even weirder. Why in the hell would she need Aubrey to tell her that? The brunette might have been a bit hopeless when it came to navigating sexual situations in any manner other than totally awkward, but she certainly didn't need _permission_ to masturbate.

Something about that made Beca kind of angry. It seemed to her that Aubrey was treating her a bit like a child and it was reminiscent of all the condescension Beca endured from the blonde her first year with the Bellas. And she sort of snapped…

"What the fuck, Aubrey? You don't think I know that?!"

Aubrey was quick with a response, as she always had been. _"Well, it certainly seems like, at the very least, you needed a reminder…"_

The blonde's tone was teasing, and it served to incense Beca further, and also to arouse her further – which is not something she cared to admit to herself at this particular moment. "I don't need you telling me what I can and can't do."

 _"_ _Need I also remind you that_ you're _the one that called_ me _, remember?"_ Beca didn't have a quick comeback for that one. How could she? That was exactly what had happened. So, she sighed loudly into the phone instead, making her frustration known. But something about the noise she made shifted the conversation. She could feel the change tingling in the air around her, but she still couldn't have been ready for what Aubrey said next.

 _"_ _Now, you listen to me, Beca Mitchell."_ Her voice was commanding and rough. Beca couldn't ignore the way the sound ignited a fire in the pit of stomach. She swallowed, tugging her bottom lip into her mouth to chew on it in a sorry attempt to refocus her mind. She shut her eyes as she listened Aubrey's every word. _"You just spent some one-on-one pillow time with Chloe. And Chloe is_ seriously _hot and you are_ seriously _into her, but for whatever reason, you panic and stop her from…_ satisfying _you. You now find yourself alone in your room, presumably – and you're stopping yourself from finishing the job because why? Are you that_ embarrassed _by your own sexuality? Why do you_ insist _on punishing yourself this way?"_

Aubrey took a breath as any remnants of anger vanished from her tone, instead taking on a much calmer, though still very serious – and somehow still lascivious – timber. _"You have nothing to be ashamed of. It's okay. Let yourself go._ Indulge _yourself."_ The blonde paused again for a moment, as if to highlight the importance of her next words. _"I know Chloe wants you to."_

And yeah, the tense of that statement was weird. It suggested that Aubrey had talked to Chloe, and that Chloe had literally said she wished Beca would touch herself. But Beca only barely registered that implication. She was too busy trying not to have an audible reaction to the way in which Aubrey was speaking to her. The last thing she needed right now was for that to happen again, but it was difficult not to, so difficult in fact that _refraining_ from it was actually becoming a turn on for Beca.

 _"_ _So, Beca…"_ Aubrey continued, her voice now dripping with something hot and wet, _"I want you to reach down and think of red hair, and bright blue eyes, and soft, flawless skin. Think of the way that Chloe makes you_ feel _when you're with her… how loved… how free. And allow yourself this moment."_

Beca's breathing was quickly becoming noticeably labored, and she couldn't stop it. She was worried that Aubrey would hear her, or that some other sound – potentially even more incriminating – would escape her.

 _"_ _Please, Beca,"_ was the last thing she heard Aubrey beg before she pulled the phone from her ear and hit the red button to end the call. She tossed the phone off to the side of the bed, just out of reach, and then did _exactly_ as she was told to do.

The poetic nature of this moment wasn't lost on her. As her fingers slid through wet heat before settling atop that sensitive bundle of nerves, she spared a thought for Aubrey Posen, a woman who she refused to obey – or at least never submitted to without a fight – somehow exercising complete control over her. Thoughts of Chloe flitted into her mind as she pressed down, back naturally arching off of the bed as she finally released the moan she had been holding in for what felt like a lifetime.

* * *

 _ **A/N:** And, uh, sorry about the end of this chapter..._


	11. Chapter 11

It took less than a minute since she came down from her high for Beca to _totally freak out_. Well, perhaps freak out was unfair, but she was feeling something powerful… and it wasn't regret, but it certainly was something that was still laced with guilt and utterly fraught with confusion. Did that all really just happen? Her phone call with Aubrey seemed like something out of a dream. And maybe that's what happened, maybe she had just fallen asleep, imagined the whole thing, and had one of those (much sought after by all the Bellas after Stacie disclosed that it happened to her once) sleep orgasms.

Yeah, that was probably it.

But out of her periphery, Beca could see her phone on the bed, not on the nightstand where it belonged and, in spite of that fact, she allowed herself to believe that what she thought just happened _totally didn't_ happen at all. At least until she rolled over and picked up the phone, because then that belief was wholly shattered. She had a text from Aubrey.

 _Feeling better? ;)_

Beca could feel the beads of sweat starting to form at the back of her neck as anxiety gripped her fiercely. _This isn't happening_ , she thought. _This can't be happening._

But it was happening, and Beca didn't really know what to do with that information. How was one supposed to react to Aubrey Posen talking a little dirty to them over the phone? And – ugh – why was that even something that Beca found arousing at all?

Her situation was, quite frankly, fucked. Because who was she to go to in order to talk about what had just happened between her and _Aubrey_. It's not like she could talk to Aubrey herself about it. And man oh man, she really wished she could pick up the phone to call Jesse right now. She was starting to feel like she didn't have any other option. It's not like she could honestly deal with all of this by herself.

She tried to assure herself that Aubrey was just trying to be a supportive, sex-positive friend – and, really, maybe she actually was. Beca had no real evidence to suggest that Aubrey was trying to do anything else with that phone call. Maybe Beca was reading too much into the low voice, and the rasping tone. In fact, maybe Beca's already fragile state – caused by Chloe's wandering hands – had her imagining that sultry sort of inflection in the first place. Aubrey had just been trying to help – help her get with Chloe not help her… ugh! This was all just _too confusing_.

What in the hell was even going on here? Beca hated to put on her conspiracy theorist hat, but this was all just _too weird_ not to be a goddamn scheme. The blonde and the redhead had to be in collusion and were most certainly up to no good. But then – Beca suddenly realized – she actually _knew that_ from the start. She had overheard a conversation the pair had, a conversation that explained, for Beca, the weird experimenting comment that Chloe had made to her in the tent that night. Aubrey was _always_ a part of this, even before Beca was an actual part of this. She'd been helping Chloe figure out how to make this happen from the beginning. And, by extension, she was helping to push Beca toward Chloe as well.

The real question now was why? But Beca didn't spare the moment to really consider that question. Instead, she made an assumption, she jumped to a not illogical conclusion: Aubrey was just being a good friend to Chloe, helping Chloe get what she wanted. Aubrey was just some sort of gay wingman, or something.

She resented the way these two were _manipulating_ her, or at least that's how it felt. It was a bizarre sort of peer pressure that was making her wonder what it was she actually wanted. Maybe she was just bending to their whims. Maybe being with Chloe wasn't something she wanted at all.

Well, that was certainly wishful thinking. Beca knew better than that. She was never one to cave to peer pressure. If people were successful at manipulating her, it was only because she allowed them to be, however subconscious that permission granting was.

No, Beca definitely _wanted_ Chloe and it was something she was slowly but surely coming to terms with. Really, she should be thanking Aubrey and Chloe – if it weren't for their (albeit heavy-handed) influence, Beca probably never would have come to this realization at all. And, sure, that probably would have been a fine way to live her life – but who knows, this "I'm a little bit gay thing" probably would have come around sooner or later to bite her in the butt. It might as well be now. It might as well be with someone she loves and trusts.

Regardless of how grateful she probably should have been to these two, she couldn't help but continue to feel vexed by how it was all happening. They were being so _sneaky_ about it, and something about that felt really slimy to Beca – it made her stomach a bit queasy. Why wouldn't they just be up front with her?

Okay, so, Beca knew why. She knew the girls probably just assumed that they couldn't be direct and honest with her, otherwise she would run for the hills. Beca had no right to be angry about that, because their assumption wouldn't have been wrong. There's no way, if Chloe had just come bouncing up to her and delivered this information directly, that Beca would have agreed. They certainly would not have found themselves at this particular moment in time.

That said, Beca did still find it more than a little irritating, and wholly condescending, but at least she knew, somewhere in her, that they weren't acting this way to be jerks. They were acting this way to best ease Beca into this totally cracked situation. They were looking out for her best interests. Well, her best interests within the realm of Chloe's desires anyway. She had to be at least a little bit grateful for that, because as it was turning out, Chloe's desires were actually kind of in line with her own.

This shouldn't be so complicated, at least not anymore. While everything with Aubrey was all the more confusing after that phone call, everything in regard to Chloe was suddenly crystal clear. She wanted Chloe; wanted to touch Chloe; wanted Chloe to touch her. She wanted to be with the redhead, be with her _intimately_. And that new sense of clarity was truly a relief.

It was like a lifetime had passed since that day at the retreat. Beca felt like she had somehow become a completely different person. Well, not really a different person, but a person who was somehow more herself than the person she was before. It was an amazing feeling, and she supposed that this was sort of what college was for; it was a liminal state between childhood and adulthood in which people, as cheesy as this was a thing to acknowledge, became the people they really were. Maybe it was weird that it had taken Beca this long to really feel the truth of that statement, or maybe everything over the last four years was just building up to this moment. Either way, Beca had to take the moment to commend herself. She'd come a long way since she'd first auditioned to be Barden Bella.

As her thoughts traveled back in time to those precious first moments at Barden University (you know, those moments when Beca would have rather been literally anywhere else), she couldn't help but think of Jesse, and recognize all the ways in which he contributed to her journey. His influence, if she was being honest, was probably even more powerful than Chloe's, though maybe not quite as powerful as the Bellas'. Having female friends was revolutionary for Beca, but her relationship with Jesse had entirely transformed her capacity for love and intimacy.

In some perhaps sick, twisted way – it was actually Jesse who had brought her to this point with Chloe. That was probably a cruel way to think of their relationship, as if it were sort of practice round – but Beca had to admit, there was some truth to it.

Even though she knew she didn't owe Jesse anything, she decided that it was probably best to at least give him a call. She might not have to share any of this with him, but she found that she wanted to. She really wanted to. She wanted to tell him how great she felt, explain to him how she felt more like herself than ever before. She wanted to share this with him and celebrate it with him.

And yeah, she should probably let him know that she no longer had any intention of getting back together with him…

So, before drifting off to sleep, she sent him a text, while ignoring Aubrey's.

 _ **Hey – I'd like to talk to you. When's a good time to chat?**_

* * *

The next morning, Beca headed to the only class she had that day before darting off to Residual Heat to fill everyone's lunch orders. Jesse had texted her back and they had agreed to chat later, once she was back at the Bella house. She was trying her best not to stress out about the conversation. She pretty much knew everything she wanted to say. Jesse would definitely be surprised to hear what was going on, but she felt confident that he would ultimately be very supportive. He was her best friend, and her very best cheerleader. As soon as he realized that this was what was best for her, that this is what made her happy, he wouldn't be able to be anything but understanding.

At least, that's what Beca hoped. She knew Jesse incredibly well, and was feeling fairly certain that his reaction would be mostly positive. But there was still a possibility for jealousy… and she knew some part of him would be disappointed to hear that Beca was not planning to get back together with him after graduation. Though, the more she thought about it, the more she realized that was really her idea in the first place. They'd talked about it, sure, and Jesse agreed that it'd be cool to give it a try – but it was Beca who was really holding on to that. Part of her wondered if Jesse had just been humoring her about it. He was the one to break up with her, and he didn't immediately follow that up with a plan for them to get back together. No, that was Beca's suggestion. She assumed that's what he wanted, too. And yeah, he had said that he wanted that, but… now she was feeling a bit paranoid about it. Maybe he had just said that to lessen the blow of their relationship's untimely disintegration.

The thought really hadn't occurred to Beca before, and it made her kind of angry, thinking that he might do something like that, say something to her that wasn't completely honest. But Beca brushed that anger aside, reminding herself that if that was the case, now, with these new circumstances, that would actually be the best possible thing. It would mean that Jesse wouldn't be upset to hear that Beca wasn't planning to get back together with him, which would serve to up the chances that he would be near instantly supportive of her pursuing whatever it was that she was pursuing with Chloe.

None of this stopped the anxiety that raced through her when her cell phone rang, Jesse's name and a photo of him giving a goofy, cross-eyed smile appearing on the screen. She was back in her room, and even though very few Bellas were home, Beca took the time to shut the door at the foot of the steps before answering the call.

"Hello?"

 _"_ _Hey, Becs. How's it going?"_

"Not bad. Worlds is right around the corner and that's got us all a bit on edge…" she explained, taking a seat at the foot of her bed, "but it's really coming along, so I can't complain."

 _"_ _That's great to hear!"_ He sounded so cheerful, which caused her to worry a nail. Hopefully, this conversation wasn't something that was going to spoil his good mood…

"Yeah, what about you?"

Beca tried her best to focus on what Jesse was saying as he began to ramble a bit about this one really challenging class, or as Jesse had actually put it, "fucking _impossible_ , Becs. I'm serious!" It was weird that Jesse had this whole life now that she hardly knew anything about, except for the odd story he would tell, like this one. But it was, of course, also weird that she had this whole life now that Jesse wasn't a part of either. She wondered how all of these changes would ultimately affect their relationship, and hoped that if it were ever to fall apart, that now wouldn't be the moment in which it did. She really felt like she needed him to get through this. She needed someone she could talk to, someone without a potential hidden agenda like Aubrey. She needed his support.

"That professor sounds like a douchebag. I'm sorry."

 _"_ _Yeah, he kind of is…"_

"I know it's tough, but you're _amazing_ , you know? He'll see that. Just keep working hard."

 _"_ _Yeah...yeah! Thanks. I really needed to hear that today."_

There was an awkward pause in the conversation. Beca was running through what she had just said, hoping it didn't sound too cliché and stupid, but also hoping it wasn't glaringly obvious that she was only sort of paying attention to what Jesse was saying and really wanted to push this conversation forward so that it could ultimately be over, whether it went well or not.

 _"_ _So, you said that you wanted to talk to me about something?"_

And here it was: her opening. It was time for her to spill, to say all the things that she had spent the past 18-or-so hours perfecting. She knew what she wanted to say, knew what she needed to say, now all she had to do was just say it.

But, somehow, doing that was proving to be exceedingly difficult. There was a lump in her throat she couldn't swallow. She opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out.

 _"_ _What's going on? Is everything okay?"_

The concern in his voice was heartbreaking. She couldn't stand it. She had to say something, had to say it now, knowing full well that if she didn't he would only grow more and more worried, which would only make her feel worse.

"Yeah, um – everything is fine. Well, it's, um, it's better than fine, really…" She paused, taking a steadying breath as she thought back on how it was that she wanted to explain this. "Chloe, um… Chloe and I… w-we, uh… we've sort of been, like… messing around?" She screwed her eyes shut as she raised her left hand, pressing the heel of it into her forehead. _Why am I such an idiot?!_ Of all the eloquent ways she had come up with to explain this to Jesse, using the phrase "messing around" certainly wasn't one of them.

 _"_ _Messing around?"_ he asked, genuine confusion filtering through the phone.

"Yeah, um… Chloe, sh-she… uh… Well, it all started when we went on that retreat?"

 _"_ _Beca,"_ Jesse's voice was serious now. _"What are you talking about? What started?"_

She sighed loudly, frustrated with herself for handling this so badly. What was the point of thinking through everything she was going to say if she, ultimately, didn't utter one word of it? "At the retreat… Chloe, she… well, we kissed."

Silence on the other end of the phone. Not a breath, not a word, not a question. Just silence.

"And we've sort of been… like… doing stuff since then." _Doing stuff? What am I, 12?_

She heard Jesse release a breath, then pause before he finally responded. _"Wow. Uh, you mean, like… Have you_ slept _with her?"_

"No, no, no," she was too quick to correct. She hoped it didn't expose just how badly she wanted to… "We've just been… well, you know… other stuff…" she trailed off, completely surrendering to the fact that she was absolutely incapable of completing a single sentence.

There it was. Silence again. This was a horrible thing to be doing over the phone. Beca wished they had at least Skyped, so she could gauge his reaction. She was completely in the dark. There were a million possible reasons that Jesse wasn't speaking right now, but only the terrible ones were running through her mind at the moment. This was bad. She shouldn't have done this. "Jesse…?" she tested.

 _"_ _Yeah, I'm here, Becs."_ It's the way he said her name that made her know everything was going to be okay. He said it with the same affection he always had, and she knew, instantly knew, that at the very least, he didn't hate her. _"This is just… I guess of all the things I thought you could have needed to talk to me about this was… well, it was nowhere on the list."_

Beca swallowed hard. She could tell he wasn't finished, that he had more to say. And even though she knew he wasn't mad, that didn't mean she wasn't afraid of whatever reactionary thoughts he might choose to share with her in this moment.

 _"_ _You know, now that you say it, though… it… it kind of makes sense."_

"What?!" Of all the things that she had expected he might say, _this_ was nowhere on _her_ list.

 _"_ _Well, you two have always been… close. And Chloe's, well… you know, she's Chloe. And you've always been kind of…"_ he trailed off. He was trying to choose his words carefully. He clearly didn't want to say the wrong thing, and it was _painfully_ obvious, to Beca, and also sort of patronizing, but she retracted her claws. She knew he was just trying to say the right thing, or at the very least, not say the wrong thing. _"I don't know. It just makes a weird kind of sense to me…"_

Beca wasn't sure how she was supposed to respond to that. She really wasn't expecting him to react this way at all. Luckily, she didn't have to formulate a reply, because as he began to fully realize the implications of what Beca was telling him, the important question occurred to him.

 _"_ _Wait. Why are you telling me this?"_

She closed her eyes, dipping her chin to her chest as she held the phone tightly. If telling Jesse that she and Chloe had been _"messing around"_ was difficult, then explaining to him why he needed to know was damn near impossible. Beca searched herself for every iota of courage she had. She looked over at Amy's empty bed and remembered the "butt confidence" the other girl had once bestowed her with, and did her best to channel that energy.

"Because… things are _changing_ for me." Jesse said nothing, just waited for Beca to continue. "This isn't some, like, small, silly thing. It's really shifted my thinking about… well, about a lot of stuff."

 _"_ _You don't want us to get back together anymore."_ It wasn't a question; it was a sad, quiet statement. It made Beca's chest hurt. She felt tears prickle at the back of her eyes, but swore she wouldn't indulge them. She looked up, blinking them back.

"I'm sorry," she said.

He cleared his throat loudly and Beca knew that sound, knew it well. It was the same sound he made at the end of _The Breakfast Club_. The same sound he made while watching Yoda's life slip away from him in _Return of the Jedi_. The sound of a grown man trying not to cry.

 _"_ _It's okay."_ His voice was a little broken, but wasn't tinged with even an ounce of jealousy, or anger… just sadness. It made Beca's stomach hurt as she lost the battle against several stray tears. _"To be honest… I wasn't really, uh – entirely sure what I wanted for us…"_ He paused for a long moment, and Beca was able to collect her thoughts, reminding herself that this was going well. He wasn't mad. He wasn't jealous. He was hurt, but Beca was pretty sure he'd be okay. _"I guess I don't have to figure that one out now,"_ he finished, with a sad chuckle.

"I guess not," Beca agreed.

She heard him exhale, something that was part sigh and part breath. When he spoke again, his voice was still quiet, but not quite as depressed. Some of his usual Jesse goofiness was bleeding back into his speech, and Beca was so, _so_ grateful for it. _"So this thing with Chloe is, like… sort of serious, then?"_

Beca laughed; she couldn't help it. Her life was so strange right now, in this moment. Her ex-boyfriend, who still had some semblance of feelings for her, whom she still had some semblance of feelings _for_ (if Beca was being honest), was asking her about the nature of her romantic trysts with her (female) best friend. It was laughable. It really was.

"Fuck if I know, dude," she offered bluntly, still laughing. "My life is so screwed up right now."

Apparently, Jesse wasn't finding the humor in this. He remained perfectly silent, and she knew he was waiting for her to stop deflecting. After 3 years of dating, Jesse could force Beca to open up without even a word. She sighed, knowing that this was the time for emotional honesty, despite how scary the thought was. "I'm sorry. Things with Chloe… well… I feel… when I'm with her, it's like I'm truly myself… myself in a way I've—" She stopped herself, worried that Jesse might take her next words to heart in a way she didn't intend.

 _"_ _That sounds pretty serious,"_ he said evenly, and without a hint of judgment or implication to his words. It was striking, to Beca, how he could be so fair, so reasonable, in this moment. It touched her deeply, and she felt tears begin to swell again.

"Yeah…" she spoke quietly, pausing to take a breath before she continued. "You know, Jesse, you're still my best friend. And I wanted to – I _needed_ to – to share this with you… And I just hope that sometime in the future – because I understand right now would be crazy – maybe… maybe we can actually, like, _talk_ about this? About what's going on… wi-with me? I could really use your help…"

She held her breath, fear spreading through her with each passing moment of quiet. She'd done an incredibly un-Beca-Mitchell-like thing. She'd put herself out there, was hanging there vulnerably, just hoping that Jesse wouldn't shatter her. She knew, on some level, that he would never do that, but the fear was still real. She hated this feeling, hated feeling naked and bared. It was unsettling and as her anxiety welled, her stomach twisting into knots, she seriously considered just hanging up and trying her best to forget that this conversation ever happened.

But as soon as that thought occurred to her, Jesse finally answered. _"I'm going to need some time."_ He stopped, and she worried that was all he was going to say. She felt herself breathe again when he continued. _"But… yeah, yeah… of course. Of course we can talk about it."_

Relief flowed through her like water breaking through a dam. _This_ is what she needed to hear and _this_ was the person she needed to hear it from. She didn't need Jesse to be her boyfriend anymore, but she still needed him in her life. He made her a better person. She couldn't imagine going through this, or through anything, really, without him. She was so, _so_ lucky to be able to call him her friend, because he was nothing short of amazing. She'd never had a friend like him, and she doubted she'd ever find another.

 _"_ _So_ ," he started, dragging out the 'o.' That singular word instantly shifted the manner of the conversation, and Beca recognized that patented Jesse Swanson teasing tone. He was about to make a joke, a joke that would soon have her eyes rolling. _"When do I get to see you and Chloe make out?"_

"Jesse!" she yelled, and just as she had predicted, rolled her eyes.

 _"_ _I mean… I am your best friend and all…"_

"Shut up."

 _"_ _I'm just saying, like, you know… so I understand…"_

"Shut up, Jesse."

 _"_ _I might need to, like… see you guys… in action."_

"SHUT UP, JESSE!"

 _"_ _Like, for research…"_

"I'm hanging up now."

 _"_ _Pictures or it didn't happen!"_ He quickly got in, as she pulled the phone away from her ear, ending the call and tossing her phone onto the pillow before muttering to herself.

"Why the fuck do I even like him?"

* * *

 ** _A/N_ _:_** _The offer still stands. Come hang out with me on tumblr at_ _v3ronica-summ3rs. Have a good week, nerds._


	12. Chapter 12

It had only been a handful of minutes since she hung up with Jesse when she heard a knock at the attic door.

"Come in!" she shouted, closing her laptop. She stood, returning the device to her desk, as she heard the door creak open followed by soft footfalls ascending the steps.

When she turned around, there was Chloe, dressed in a deep purple, v-neck t-shirt and a pair of gray sweatpants with the "PINK" logo in black, block letters down her left thigh, her red curls a wild mane, her eyes somehow an even more brilliant blue than Beca remembered. She was an absolute vision. It's the rare woman who genuinely looks just as good dressed down as she does dressed up, but Chloe Beale was certainly one of those women. Beca felt her heart stop, just for a moment, as the redhead smiled, something bubbly and delightful, at her.

"Hey, Beca!" she said cheerfully, before taking two bouncing steps forward. The closer proximity, though, removed the giddy shimmer from those crystal blue eyes. Chloe looked suddenly crestfallen as she, presumably, noted Beca's ruddy, tear-stained cheeks. "Ohmigosh, Becs! You okay?" she rushed.

"Yeah. It's, um, it's cool," she said, trying to sound like the word she uttered.

"Are you sure? What happened?" Chloe's voice verged on frantic. Beca really didn't want to talk about this with her, and hopefully she wouldn't have to, but it was unfair to Chloe to refuse to even acknowledge her state.

Beca folded her arms across her chest with a sigh. "Nothing, it's fine," she started, on the defensive, but it only took one direct look into Chloe's eyes to convince her to tell the truth. "I just got off the phone with Jesse. That's all."

"Oh," was the redhead's quiet, surprised response. "Jesse?" asked Chloe, and the brunette nodded, a stupid smile plastering her face as her eyes shifted so she could stare at anything but the woman in front of her. She _really_ didn't want to talk about this. "Oh," Chloe repeated. "Um, what… what about?"

Beca was afraid to have this talk. She didn't want to relive the conversation she had with Jesse. She didn't want to cry again, but she could feel Chloe's eyes on her, loving and patient and kind… and she knew she couldn't just shut her down. The problem was that Beca had never told Chloe about her plans to reunite with the Treblemaker. She hadn't told that to anyone. Well, except to Aubrey when all the fear and uncertainty surrounding Jesse came tumbling out of her mouth as she tried to explain what it was about _Chloe_ that scared her. She took a deep breath, knowing that was where she'd have to start.

"Well, when Jesse and I broke up it was mostly because of the distance." She waited for Chloe to acknowledge having understood her, and hoped the redhead wouldn't further press for details on their break-up. When Chloe silently nodded, Beca continued: "So we had sort of talked about the possibility of getting back together. After graduation. After Worlds."

She watched Chloe carefully, tried to assess how she was receiving this information, but she just couldn't read her. Chloe was looking at her intently, but her face was somehow blank. She made no movement to speak, and so Beca continued awkwardly.

"You know, because I was planning to move to LA anyway…"

As soon as those words hit Chloe's ears, she pounced, quick and deliberate. "Was?" she asked.

Beca faltered. This was exactly why she didn't want to talk about this, because this was inevitably going to turn into a conversation about her feelings. She never wanted to talk about her feelings, but this particular conversation – the one in which Beca would have to admit that she, you know, _had_ feelings – was the one she dreaded most of all.

She did her best to side step. "Yes, was… so that's—"

But Chloe wasn't having it. "Was? Why was?" she asked, cutting Beca off.

"What?" Beca was still trying to deflect, even though she knew this wasn't a battle she was going to win. Chloe was going to get what she wanted. After all, with Beca, she always did.

Chloe took a measured step and leaned in toward her, her voice low and her eyes piercing. "Why aren't you planning to move to LA anymore?"

 _Because you're not there._ The thought raced through Beca's mind quicker than a speeding bullet. She couldn't help but silently scold herself for it. It was cheesy. And disgusting. And stupid. And a thought that was distinctly unlike Beca Mitchell. She swallowed hard before stuttering out her reply. "Be-because. Things have… _changed_."

The redhead took another step forward. She was so close now that Beca could feel the warmth radiating off her body, her breath hot against the shell of Beca's left ear. "What sort of _things_?"

Chloe was playing with her now, like a cat with a toy mouse. It infuriated her, and yet… she sank deeply into the feeling, even reveled in it. It felt like she was being swallowed by something warm and wet and undeniably comforting, like sliding into a hot bath after a long day. She felt her own eyes close as an audible breath escaped her nose. She could feel Chloe's lips hovering over her neck and could sense the older girl's smirk.

And it was that cocky, self-satisfied smile that snapped Beca back to reality. Her eyes flashed open as she grabbed onto Chloe's shoulders, forcing her to take a step back, a confused look on her face.

"Oh, you know… Things like whatever _that_ just was," she quipped, her tone teasing, but the sentiment sincere.

Chloe adopted a more relaxed stance, folding her arms across her chest. "What are you saying, Beca?"

The question was genuine and Beca was met with another look that she couldn't quite read. Chloe looked expectant, but not impatient, and other than that Beca didn't have a clue what was going through the redhead's mind right now. She knew she had to answer, but didn't know how. She didn't know what Chloe was expecting her to say.

Beca crossed to the bed, exhaling as she sat, elbows on her knees as her gaze fell to the floor beneath her. Her hands hung before her, loose and defeated. She raised her head slowly to look up at Chloe. "I don't know," she said as plainly as she could, but even she could hear the fear that crept into her tone. She sounded like an idiot. She _was_ an idiot. She was an idiot who couldn't manage to spare an honest thought for her best friend right now.

Chloe said nothing. She just continued to stare down at Beca, that same look on her face, no more impatient than she was a moment ago, despite Beca's pathetic response. The redhead had the patience of a saint. Chloe had waited so long for Beca to open up at all. She never pushed, just waited. And she was still waiting right now, 4 years later. It was unfair how guilty that made Beca feel. It made her want to try harder. It made her want to be better, for Chloe, but she was terrified and that paralyzed her. She looked back down to the floor and said nothing. Like a coward.

She heard the shuffle of feet before she felt the other woman sink into the bed beside her. Then there was a hand on her knee, and she lolled her head to the side so she could look at Chloe. The expression on her face remained the same, but in closer proximity, Beca could see the compassion twinkling in her eyes. It made Beca look away again. She felt embarrassed by it. Her face flushed as she squirmed uncomfortably, shaking her head. She could still feel Chloe's stare and she felt so wholly unworthy of that look that she wanted to cry, but she didn't. No, instead, for once in her miserable life, she did the courageous thing. She looked back at her friend and spoke.

"I'm saying that _this_ , well… it means something to me."

Chloe's eyes shimmered and Beca watched as her bottom lip dropped just enough for her to inhale sharply. Her mouth then slowly formed a gentle smile that warmed Beca's heart. The redhead looked almost grateful for her words. The longer she waited for Chloe to respond, though, the more anxious she became about what she had said. She was scared, and hoped that it didn't show.

"That's good," Chloe replied, and Beca shot her a worried, questioning look because she wasn't sure exactly what that meant. Chloe's voice was quiet and sincere as she soothed Beca's fears. "Because this means something to me, too."

Beca's stomach flipped, and the sensation propelled her forward, her lips connecting with Chloe's in a sweet kiss. She felt soft hands raise, the heels of which pressed lightly against her jaw as fingers massaged the tender flesh behind her ears before tangling into her hair.

Beca sighed at the contact. It was steady and reassuring and filled with love. She was certain she could lose herself in this feeling forever. It felt like she was leisurely falling into infinity and the sensation somehow gave her a rush of excitement while simultaneously calming her. She didn't take the time to consider how, exactly, that was even possible, but instead leaned into the feeling. She wrapped her arms around Chloe's neck, lacing her own fingers together, and kissed her friend with a level of passion that far exceeded any of their previous encounters. She parted her lips, intending to brush her tongue across Chloe's, but the other woman mirrored her movement, and so, without hesitation, Beca instead licked deeply into Chloe's mouth and was rewarded with a low groan that rumbled through her, flipping her stomach again as heat pooled low in her belly.

One of Chloe's hands drifted down her neck, fingertips grazing ever so gently. Beca wanted to whimper, and maybe she did. She was so intoxicated by the feeling that she couldn't be sure what sound she may or may not have made in response. Chloe's fingers curled around Beca's shoulder as she pressed her palm lightly against her. Beca obliged the silent request, breaking the kiss for a moment, to lay back on the bed and shimmy up a bit awkwardly, so that her legs weren't dangling over the edge.

She watched with an eager, hawk-like stare as the redhead shifted to straddle her. Chloe placed a hand on Beca's chest and pushed upward to momentarily grip the base of Beca's throat, before forcing the brunette to turn her head to the side. She continued to watch, now out of the corner of her eye, as Chloe leaned down to press open-mouthed kisses in the crook of her neck.

The whine that escaped Beca was accompanied by a desperate shift in her hips, pinned down firmly by Chloe's. The movement provided her fleeting, but much needed, pressure against her center, and a distinct groan cut through that whine. Her breath hitched as she felt Chloe's tongue drag up her neck, before sucking at the flesh below her right ear.

It was in that moment that Beca remembered that she had hands. She moved the left one to grip tightly to Chloe's hip while the other reached to grab and knead Chloe's breast. She heard a gasp upon first contact, but then the redhead was sitting up, pulling away. Beca's eyes flashed open, unsure of what she had done wrong, but certain she must have done something. What she saw, though, suggested quite the opposite. Chloe's fingers were wrapped underneath the hem of her purple shirt; she pulled the garment up and over her head in one nimble movement, tossing it aside. Beca's eyes danced over the vision in black lace before her. She bit her bottom lip, her head spinning, before her eyes flicked up to meet Chloe's stare. A lascivious grin graced the older girl's face, her brilliant blue eyes pleading for something.

That look was Beca's undoing. Any doubts she had fell by the wayside the moment she saw Chloe looking at her that way. She sat upward, removing her own shirt, before wrapping her arms around Chloe to grip tightly at the back of her neck, pulling the girl downward, her body reconnecting with the bed as Chloe's mouth merged with her own.

The kiss was hungry with desire, and Beca was very aware of the way Chloe's hips were rocking against hers as if the act of kissing her suddenly became a full body undertaking. She let her fingers drag roughly down Chloe's back until they were met with the line of fabric securing her breasts. Beca fumbled awkwardly with the clasp. She'd never done this before, unhooked another woman's bra. Sure, she'd done it herself a million times, but the task was mirrored this way. Her head was swimming and it took her what felt like an embarrassingly long moment to figure it out. When she finally succeeded in unfastening the thing, she spared a humorous thought to deserving some sort of medal or reward for the accomplishment

But, if she was being honest, the sight of Chloe Beale bare-breasted astride her was reward enough. Beca leaned them both upward, hands gripping at Chloe's spine, as she wrapped her mouth around a pert nipple. She felt fingers tangle into her own hair, pressing her further into Chloe's chest while simultaneously tugging just hard enough for her scalp to lightly sting. That sensation, mixed with the sounds of Chloe's sighing, spurred her to gently bite down. The noise that escaped the redhead then could only be described as animalistic, and the wave of heat that crashed over Beca as she registered that thought made her groan something raw and animal-like as well.

Chloe unhooked her bra faster than Beca's brain could actually comprehend. She released the girl's breast with a pop, allowing the clothing to be stripped from her form. Chloe leaned down and kissed her passionately while tweaking a nipple. Beca could feel the wetness pooling at her center. She shifted her hips, sort of uncomfortably, as that fact became fully realized in her brain. The brunette needed _more_ , so much more, and she needed it _soon_.

Then Chloe was standing, and Beca watched as she slithered out of her sweatpants, revealing bright pink panties garnished with black polka dots and lace. As Beca looked at the only item of clothing left covering Chloe, she couldn't help but silently acknowledge how very _Chloe_ they were, both sexy and adorable all at once in the most intoxicating combination.

She watched as Chloe crawled back onto the bed, but then allowed her head to fall back as Chloe made quick work of the button and zipper on her jeans. Chloe's fingers curled beneath the hem of the pants, but then suddenly stopped. Beca snapped her head forward again to look at Chloe, who had crept between Beca's legs. She was on her knees, her hands gripping either side of her jeans. She was looking down at Beca, staring, it seemed, at the button of jeans. Chloe's expression was voracious and needing. When her eyes flashed up to meet Beca's, they seemed almost ablaze. The look would have been frightening, Beca thought, had it not been laced with warmth and kindness… and genuine _concern_ for the younger girl. They begged, truly _begged_ , a silent question.

Beca nodded in what she knew was a rushed and energetic gesture. She hoped her own eyes were conveying her sincerity, somehow showcasing everything that she was feeling right now for Chloe to see, so she would know just how badly Beca wanted this.

In a flash, her jeans, panties taken with them, had been discarded and she lay entirely bare before Chloe, who was slowly taking in the sight before her. Awestruck was the only word Beca could think to describe the way the redheaded woman was looking her over, and it made Beca terribly uncomfortable, like she wanted to somehow disappear into the bed beneath her. And yet, it also made her feel strangely _proud_ to have Chloe looking at her that way. The feeling was the very definition of ambivalence. It was the embodiment of contradiction. Beca felt pulled between the need to run, and the desire for this moment to last forever. She did her best to ignore the former and hold fast to the latter.

Chloe was moving again, slowly gliding up the length of Beca's form before settling her body flush against Beca's right side. She had her head propped up on her left hand as she leaned down to kiss Beca again, her right hand drifting lazily across the brunette's stomach and causing her to shiver. She felt Chloe's knuckles graze the underside of her breast and Beca moaned in response. She was desperate for the redhead now, and these soft, teasing touches just weren't going to cut it. She pulled Chloe's face down into her own, hoping the older girl would get the message. But Chloe's hand continued its delicate exploration of the space between Beca's boobs, sliding up and down twice before Beca broke the kiss.

"Please," she breathed.

A crooked smile spread across Chloe's face as Beca pawed at her neck. The older girl was clearly enjoying this moment of power, delighting in watching her squirming and desperate. That realization sent another rush of heat through Beca. Her body ached. She needed to feel Chloe's hands on her, inside her.

"Please, Chlo," she begged again.

The redhead moved to nip at her earlobe and she dragged her nails along Beca's chest until they were met with puckered flesh. Beca breathed heavily in anticipation. Chloe's hand shifted to pinch and twist with her thumb and forefinger. Beca released a frustrated sound as the remaining three fingers roughly massaged the underside of her breast.

Chloe shifted again, latching her mouth to Beca's neck. She spared a brief moment, worrying about how she might explain a mark, should one be left behind, but let it go as a satisfied whimper escaped her, forcing Chloe to smile against her. The sensation was just too powerful for her thoughts to wander anywhere else. She refocused on Chloe. Beca felt like she was melting into every breath, every movement, every sound.

Chloe released her breast and slowly trailed her fingers down the plane of Beca's stomach.

"Yes… please…" she pleaded breathlessly.

The hand suddenly disappeared; it reached up to turn Beca's head. Chloe's burning eyes searched her face, desperate and wanting, and then her lips crashed against Beca's own. The hand left her chin and continued its journey, stopping just before it reached the point where Beca needed her most. She whimpered into Chloe's mouth, her hips shifting upward, begging for the redhead to touch her. Fingers wandered to the inside of one of Beca's thighs, then to the other, and then back again. Beca broke the kiss and grunted, trying to make her frustration clear. She couldn't stand one more second of this tender teasing.

But right at the moment she thought she was going to burst, she felt Chloe's fingers move through her, up to the most sensitive point where she stopped to place a bit of pressure, her mouth reconnecting with Beca's as she swallowed the brunette's surprised and throaty moan.

Chloe's fingers moved back down, the tip of one dipping just inside her. The redhead pulled away from the kiss, pressing their foreheads together. "Fuck, Beca," she groaned. "You're so wet."

Beca wanted to respond to that, to make a comment about how badly she needed the other girl, but the way Chloe's voice sounded absolutely silenced her, except for a low 'mmm' of acknowledgement.

One of Chloe's fingers pressed slowly inside her, curling ever so slightly before pulling back out. She repeated the movement a few times before a second finger joined, pumping a little harder and a little faster with each stroke.

"I want to taste you," the redhead husked. "Please, baby, can I taste you?"

The pet name would have made Beca cringe if it weren't so goddamn hot. She opened her eyes, allowing Chloe to see just how weak she was for her, and biting on her bottom lip, she gave a pathetically needy nod of her head.

As Chloe climbed down the bed, Beca couldn't help but think just how crazy this was. She couldn't believe she was doing this. She couldn't believe _they_ were doing this. And she couldn't believe just how badly she wanted it, no, _needed_ it. That nagging voice in the back of her mind telling her to stop had been completely overpowered by burning, aching desire.

She looked down at Chloe, now settling between her legs. Blue eyes met for a moment, but then Chloe's flickered down as she began to lower herself. It seemed to happen in slow motion, and she forced herself to watch until Chloe's mouth wrapped around her, the girl's tongue pressing against her. Then, her eyes snapped shut, and her head fell back. She felt Chloe's moan reverberate against her, and couldn't suppress the whining groan that fell effortlessly from her mouth.

Chloe licked and sucked and nipped until Beca could feel herself nearing the edge, desperate for that little extra push she so badly needed. "Please…I-I need you to fuck me," she managed to say between moans.

The redhead immediately obliged, pushing two fingers deep inside Beca without letting up on her tongue's ministrations. Something resembling a soft scream ripped through Beca as Chloe's fingers curled inside her.

Chloe's rhythmic pumping had her close, so very, _very_ close. Her body writhed outside of her own control, but Chloe's free hand was gripping tightly to her side, her thumb pressing just below her lowest rib. It kept her grounded and steady as another groan from Chloe rumbled against her and sent Beca falling hard and fast over the edge, her body quaking erratically.

It must have taken a long time for Beca to regain proper use of her senses, because Chloe was rather suddenly lying next to her, her head once again propped up on her arm, the other arm draped casually across Beca's middle. For a moment, Beca thought the whole thing might have been a dream, but as Chloe placed a wet kiss to her temple, she noted the sound of her own labored breathing, felt the way her chest was heaving. It wasn't a dream.

"Just…" she said, panting, "Give me…a minute..."

Beside her Chloe giggled, and Beca covered her eyes with her palm, embarrassed, before lifting it just enough to peer at Chloe from the corner of her eye, her smile winsome and her face practically glowing.

"Jesus," she muttered, covering her eyes once more.

Chloe grabbed her wrist and pulled her hand away. "Don't cover your pretty eyes, Becs."

"I look like an idiot!" Beca shot back.

"No," Chloe said, "You're wrong. You've never looked more beautiful."

Beca outwardly scoffed at the comment, but her insides warmed at the compliment, her stomach flipping and her chest tightening. She hoped it wasn't visible to Chloe and knew she had to deflect attention away from herself as expeditiously as possible.

She rolled onto her side to face Chloe, grasping one of her hands in her own and lacing their fingers together. "So…" she said, looking into Chloe's eyes before allowing her gaze to drift lower, "when do _I_ get to do that to _you_?"

When she flicked her eyes back up to meet Chloe's, she couldn't stop her grin. The redhead's jaw had gone slack and Beca swore she'd never seen those big eyes so wide. Chloe looked like she was trying to speak, but said nothing. Beca raised a querying eyebrow to accompany her now playful smirk, then released Chloe's hand to push the girl onto her back, snaring her bottom lip between her own.

* * *

 _ **A/N:** And to answer the question preemptively, yes, there will be a part 2..._


	13. Chapter 13

_**A/N** : Smut part two! Hooray! Sorry for making you guys wait... please forgive me?_

* * *

Beca was nervous, eager, sure, but still nervous. She didn't know what she was doing, how to… do _that_. She had earlier convinced herself that she was ready for this moment, but now that it was sitting in front of her, or, more accurately, laying beneath her, she'd be lying if she said she wasn't unsure.

She did her best to push those thoughts aside and focus instead on Chloe, more specifically, on kissing Chloe. She lay flat on her stomach, the side of her ribs pressed into the side of Chloe's, propped up just enough by one hand to be kissing the other woman. She listened to the sounds of the redhead sighing as her lips moved languorously against Chloe's. She pulled away, taking a quick breath, before fervently kissing her way up Chloe's jawline. Then, pressing her lips to Chloe's neck, she sucked pretty flesh into her mouth, biting down just hard enough to make the redhead moan. Releasing the skin, she lavished the spot with her tongue before placing quick, light kisses up the girl's neck and catching her earlobe between her teeth with a soft tug.

Chloe moaned again, her body shifting impatiently. A surprising heat rushed through Beca at the sound. It seemed too soon for Beca to find herself aroused again, but Chloe's voice had a way of inspiring the impossible (or, at the very least, the improbable) in Beca. It was the sound of her voice in the shower that day that made her join a group of a capella loving lady nerds. This was really no different. Except that it was _totally_ different.

She sat up, shifting her position to straddle Chloe. She felt warmth radiating through pink, polka-dotted panties against her own center. The sensation made Beca groan as she leaned back down, slipping her tongue into the redhead's waiting mouth. She reached up to firmly grip Chloe's face as hands roved and scraped her back. Hips rocked beneath her, desperate for more direct attention, but Beca didn't oblige, not yet. Her hand took a detour instead, roughly grabbing a handful of Chloe's breast, while grinding her hips down into Chloe's with a force that begged her to remain still. Chloe pulled her mouth away from Beca with a surprised gasp, but her breath hitched as Beca pinched her nipple, rolling it between her thumb and forefinger.

Beca watched as Chloe's eyes screwed shut, hips attempting to rock once more. She allowed her other hand to brush gently across the girl's hairline. The touch pulled a soft whine from Chloe, her brow furrowing, and Beca reveled in the sound of it, in the expression on Chloe's face. Knowing she could reduce the redhead to this was just _delightful_ to Beca. It made her feel powerful, and sexy, and _wanted_. She felt confident and empowered, like she could do anything. If she weren't already addicted to the way she felt when she was with Chloe, she certainly was now, because this feeling, this _rush_ was like nothing she ever felt before. All of her insecurities flew out the window at the image of Chloe Beale breathless and whimpering for her.

She leaned down to kiss Chloe again, her palm pressing firmly against a flushed cheek that radiated warmth. Chloe sucked Beca's bottom lip into her mouth, lightly scraping her teeth across, and Beca felt like she was on fire, like she was going to spontaneously combust at any moment. She couldn't stop herself from grinding down into the woman beneath her, the two moaning into each other's mouths at two entirely different pitches, but unsurprisingly in perfect harmony.

Beca pulled away panting, trying to get oxygen to her brain so she could think straight. She couldn't help but smile at the expression, giggling silently to herself. _If I never "think straight" again it will be too soon_.

"You're so beautiful when you smile," she heard Chloe whisper, and it wiped the smile right off her face in exchange for something touched and vulnerable, and also embarrassed. Beca was never good at receiving compliments, so she chose to ignore the comment. She placed a firm, chaste kiss to Chloe's lips, before her mouth descended down upon the girl's neck, across her chest, and sucked at sensitive skin, swirling her tongue around the peak.

Any sentimentality Chloe wanted to express was lost under her attentions and Beca was grateful for that. She was already overwhelmed by all of the things she was feeling and was verging on a complete Beca-Mitchell-like breakdown (the kind that most often involved her bolting as fast as her feet could carry her). Beca feared that Chloe continuing to speak to her in such an adoring tone might fill her heart just a milliliter more and cause an overflow. So the sound of Chloe moaning again was a breath of fresh air, and provided Beca with much needed emotional relief, because in order to move forward, Beca had to do a bit of compartmentalizing. She needed to focus on sex and forget about emotion; to rationalize this moment as lust and ignore any inklings of love. She could deal with the repercussions of that distinction later.

Beca's mouth continued its exploratory journey down the plane of Chloe's stomach. She loved the way it moved in waves, driven by the redhead's erratic breathing. The movement was hypnotic. Beca felt almost spellbound as she dragged her hands down Chloe's sides, memorizing the feel of each rib, the sloping curve of her waist, the jut of her hips. Her thoughts were hazy, but her senses sharp. She looked up as her fingers dipped beneath the black lace waistband of Chloe's panties. Their eyes met and Beca noticed a glint of worried concern that was somehow capable of, at least momentarily, fighting back painful arousal. The look asked a question, one that was, at this point, unnecessary, to Beca, but she was still grateful for it.

"I'm sure," she breathed hotly. She watched Chloe bite her bottom lip, head tilting back ever so slightly as her eyes shut, and her brow furrowed, then Beca looked back down and pulled away the last remaining barrier between them.

Uncertainty hit Beca hard as she stared down at newly freed skin, and hesitated. She wanted to do this, but was unsure of exactly _how_ she was supposed to do this. She looked back up at Chloe, whose expression hadn't altered, though she writhed a bit, and grunted in frustration at Beca's pause. Watching Chloe was so sexy and stirring, and it reminded Beca of that powerful feeling she had felt only moments ago, that wonderful jolt of confidence that Chloe unknowingly gifted her. She grabbed hold of that feeling as she leaned down and slid her tongue through wet folds, Chloe immediately moaning at the contact, her hips rising to match Beca's movement.

Chloe tasted unlike anything Beca could have possibly expected. She hadn't spent a great deal of time considering how women might taste, though virtually all of the time spent had occurred in the past two weeks and was focused pretty exclusively on Chloe herself, rather than women in general. It was surprising, to Beca, how different this all was from what she had thought it would be. Chloe looked different, smelled different, tasted different than what she had anticipated. It wasn't a bad thing, no, not at all. It was just a strange thing. What was once surreal and imaginary all at once became real and tangible. Everything clicked into place, like the pins of a lock, in Beca's mind. She had glorified this moment into something it wasn't, and the realization of that made her suddenly less apprehensive. She pressed her tongue hard against Chloe and released a moan that she could have sworn had been slowly building from the first time she kissed the older girl.

"Beca…" Chloe breathed, a stifled, restless sound. With the index finger of her right hand, Beca lightly traced the outer boundaries of the redhead's entrance while continuing to lap at the sensitive bud.

"Please, Beca."

She wrapped her lips around Chloe, sucking hard as she slid the finger slowly inside. She heard a muffled cry of pleasure and looked up to see Chloe's head turned, pressing the pillow against her own face. Beca couldn't help but smile something arrogant and pointed. Chloe looked down at her then, desperate and panting, as she begged: "Please Beca, don't stop."

It was the fire in those crystal blue eyes, even more than the plea, that focused her exclusively to the task in front of her, and she enjoyed every second of causing Chloe to come undone. She loved the way Chloe felt as she pushed and pulled and curved her finger inside of her; loved the sounds that escaped Chloe's throat, guttural and raw, at the way Beca's tongue moved; loved the way Chloe's body quivered as she brought her closer and closer to the edge.

It was when she roughly pressed a second finger inside that Beca became aware, for the first time, of the way Chloe's body involuntarily and erratically gripped and then released her. It was an intoxicating sensation that stirred something hot and powerful low in Beca's stomach and spurred her to endure a bit longer, pressing harder, licking faster.

Chloe's fingers tightly laced into Beca's brown hair, pulling a moan from her. But fingers quickly loosened and dropped away as the symphony of noises Chloe was making stopped suddenly, her breath catching as her back arched. Beca's eyes flicked open to watch Chloe, her face scrunched and brow creased. Her mouth was open, and Beca could see the muscles in her neck straining, but no sound was coming out. The brunette lost sight of Chloe's face as her back arched off the bed again, her chest raising to fill Beca's field of vision. It was breathtakingly beautiful, and so, _so_ _hot_ to watch Chloe writhe this way, but Beca knew it had to end, and she had to be the one to stop it, to allow Chloe the sweet release she so badly needed. Beca pressed her fingers as hard and deep as she could, holding them in place before she slowly curled them as she gently bit down and tugged.

Chloe's silence was broken by a choked yelp, followed by a strangled "Fuck, Beca," the 'a' of which was held until it morphed into a loud moan that slowly quieted as Chloe collapsed back onto the bed, tense muscles suddenly limp. Beca held her fingers still, licking lazily as she watched Chloe's body quake with tiny aftershocks. When the redhead seemed more still than not, Beca gradually withdrew her fingers, leaving one last kiss behind before crawling up the bed and flopping beside Chloe with a loud exhale.

There were a long few minutes where neither girl spoke. Beca just listened to her best friend's soft, satisfied panting, unsure of what she should say, but – for perhaps the first time since this started – actually not worrying about it at all. It was Chloe who ultimately spoke first.

"I was afraid," she breathed, "you might not," another breath, "go through with it."

Beca shifted onto her side, sitting up slightly, then glanced over at Chloe, whose eyes were still shut. A distinct look of pleasure colored her face, and her curls were splayed around her head like a red halo. She looked happy. She looked beautiful. But something about the sight of her that way, coupled with those words, made Beca want to cry. She could feel emotion begin to overwhelm her. Her chest tightened and she swallowed hard, beginning to recognize the sensation of tears welling. She fell back, resuming her previous position, and coughed to clear her throat, to distract herself.

"Yeah, well…" was all she said. It sounded a bit defensive, but didn't betray the weakness she was feeling, which was of the utmost importance to Beca at this particular moment. She knew it wasn't a sentence, that it wasn't a response, but she hoped Chloe wouldn't dwell on it.

Chloe turned onto her side, placing a warm hand on Beca's chest, looking up at her with wide, puppy-like eyes. "That was amazing."

"Yeah?" she asked, quirking a smile, and doing her very best impression of a cool Beca, a Beca who wasn't on the verge of an emotional breakdown.

"Yeah," Chloe said, snuggling into Beca's shoulder. The brunette swallowed again, focusing her gaze on the ceiling. She inhaled deeply and blinked several times before releasing the breath, which sounded, she thought, a bit shaky.

"Ar-are you, um… I mean, like… how do you feel?" Chloe's voice was timid, like it was afraid of the answer.

The truth was that Beca didn't really know what she was feeling. Overcome was the only word that rang true. She couldn't yet parse her own thoughts; she was too overwhelmed to decipher what it was that was, well, overwhelming her. She needed some time, had to sleep on it, think through it, before she'd be ready to have this conversation with Chloe. But she had to answer now, say something. She didn't want to lie. She tried to be as honest as she could, without inviting further discussion.

"Good… I think. I mean, that, uh, that was, like… well, it was really _something._ " Okay, so it wasn't really articulate, but she hoped her inflection conveyed that, whatever confusion she might be feeling, she certainly wasn't regretting this, that she was _glad_ that it happened. She just hoped it'd be a sufficient response for Chloe, at least for now.

She felt the girl's head shift to look up at her, so Beca craned her neck awkwardly to look back. Chloe was smiling a sweet and sincere smile, but there was something in her eyes that looked, not disappointed, but somehow a little sad, or maybe a little shy? Light blue eyes flickered as she stared ahead, examining Beca in what seemed to be an attempt to analyze the look on her face, to garner more about what Beca was feeling than the words she had spoken. It was kind of freaky, the way she seemed to be looking straight through to Beca's inner self. The brunette worried she'd said the wrong thing. She thought about correcting herself, saying something else, but was certain that continuing to babble in that Beca-like way would do more harm than good.

"Good," Chloe finally said, her smile brightening a bit. She leaned up to press a kiss to Beca's cheek, then laid back down on her shoulder and said nothing more.

* * *

Beca had eventually ushered Chloe out of her room, explaining that Amy could come home at any moment, knowing the extreme unlikeliness of that scenario. She felt a little guilty, but Beca needed some time to herself, and she felt pretty sure that her best friend would understand that.

She now lay alone in the dark room, covers pulled tightly over her head. Every time she closed her eyes, flashes of Chloe's skin, of Chloe writhing, sounds of Chloe moaning, the taste of her on the tip of her tongue, the feel of her on her hands. So she kept her eyes open, practiced breathing, tried to relax. It wasn't working.

The thought of reaching out to Aubrey made her feel uneasy after their last, _very strange_ , phone call, but Beca felt like she didn't really have much of a choice. She couldn't talk to Jesse, not yet. She knew she needed to give him some time. She felt a bit like she was backed into a corner, knew she needed to talk about this to someone, and realizing she had no choice but the former captain.

She decided to text her, thinking that would be the best option to avoid the kind of weirdness she was met with last time. She grabbed her phone off the nightstand and stared blankly at the text window, thumbs poised. She wasn't sure where to begin, so she began with a stupidly simple **_Hey_** **.**

She dropped the phone onto her chest, but it buzzed almost instantly. It was almost as if Aubrey had been waiting for it.

 _Hey, what's up?_

Beca began to type out a reply, but Aubrey's quick response gave her pause. She erased what she had written in favor of something she hoped would Aubrey would answer honestly.

 ** _Have you talked to Chloe?_**

She wanted to see all of Aubrey's cards on the table. She hoped asking that question bluntly up front would circumvent all of the shady nonsense. She was sick of the weird triangle of communication this whole thing had become.

 _Yeah…_

Beca was grateful for the honesty, and she pressed further.

 ** _What did she tell you?_**

Beca tapped her thumbs against the back of her cell phone laying across her chest. It took Aubrey longer to respond this time, which was understandable, but Beca felt impatient nevertheless.

 _Just that you two slept together._

The short response surprised Beca. She thought, what with the delayed response time, Aubrey would have more to say than that. She _wanted_ Aubrey to have more to say than that.

 ** _In detail?_**

She swallowed hard and hit 'send.' The question was a bit like looking at a bus crash. She wanted to know the answer, and yet she _really didn't_ want to know the answer. After her last conversation with the blonde, Beca worried her answer might be a bit lewd, and a comment like that was the last thing she wanted to hear.

 _In some detail… yes._

Beca was so happy that she seemed to have concise, professional, all-work-no-play Aubrey. She wasn't sure she was ready for a playful and suggestive Aubrey again. She might not _ever_ be ready to experience that Aubrey again, but now certainly wasn't the time. She needed captain Aubrey, logical advice-giving Aubrey.

She stared at the blinking cursor in the text box, wanting to explain to Aubrey everything she was feeling right now, but having absolutely no idea how to do that at all. She didn't know how to express herself, nor did she know where she should begin if she did. Texting Aubrey might not have been her best decision…

 _Are you… okay?_

The question was much simpler than what Chloe had asked her: _how are you feeling?_ Aubrey's question was one she at least felt like she had an answer for, plus there was a lot less pressure in talking about this to the blonde than there had been in her post-coital chat with the redhead.

 ** _Yeah._**

And, perhaps to her own surprise, she really _was_ okay. Despite feeling overwhelmed earlier, she wasn't running. She didn't even have the desire to run.

 _I'm glad. Did you enjoy it?_

It was amazing, really, how easily Aubrey was able to break something that seemed so huge and complex into these easy, small, manageable chunks. Beca envied the former captain's ability to rationalize and simplify problems that way. It was something Beca _desperately_ needed to learn to do. Well, perhaps not _desperately_ , as long as she had Aubrey to help do it for her…

 ** _Yeah… I really did._**

 _That's great!_

Beca smiled, strangely proud of herself for some reason, when a second text flashed on her screen.

 _It seemed like Chloe really did, too…_

Something hot rushed through Beca and caught in her throat. Her only thought became a sudden, overwhelming desire to know every single detail of what the redhead had said to Aubrey. She did her best to forget it, though. She thought it was childish and weird; she knew she couldn't ask Aubrey that.

 ** _Oh… that's good…_**

It was a stupid response, Beca decided, but she really didn't know what else to say.

 _Think you'll do it again? ;)_

The DJ really hadn't thought of that, oddly enough. She was too fixated on this first encounter to think about any possible future encounters. But the moment she saw Aubrey's text, something in her lit up. She felt herself smile, and her cheeks flush in the most pleasant way. She felt warm, her insides tingling, and she knew she already had the answer.

 ** _I hope so, Bree. I… think I'd like that._**

Beca placed her phone back on the nightstand and closed her eyes. She felt much better, just getting it off her chest. Everything was okay. No, it was _more_ than okay. Whatever was going on between her and Chloe was, well… it was _good_. And she was free to enjoy it. At least for the moment, her mind wasn't reeling about what it all meant, or what it could mean in the future. She could just sit and bask in the pure _joy_ of it all.

It was really incredible, that way that Aubrey could just so easily put her mind at ease that way, without really saying anything at all. It's something she thought only Chloe was capable of doing for her. Her past tensions with the blonde woman made it all the more incredible. It was amazing how quickly and easily Aubrey was able to fill that role, the very _instant_ that Chloe's role in her life began to shift. She never knew that Aubrey had this capacity for compassion. It shouldn't have surprised her, really. Aubrey and Chloe could never have been as close as they were if it weren't the case. But Beca was still astounded by it. Aubrey had gone from being a casual friend to a person that Beca could really count on and cared about almost overnight. It was a transition so quick it was almost unprecedented, save, perhaps, for her friendship with Chloe.

She was surprised when she heard her phone buzz again. She figured her last text would have ended the chat. She rolled onto her stomach and reached for the device, tapping the screen to reveal the message.

 _Fuck, that's hot._

Beca couldn't help but grin at the blonde's profanity… which was weird because it was actually a comment that should have made her uncomfortable, but it didn't, for some reason… Maybe she was just too content to have anything bother her right now. She wasn't sure, but regardless, the text made her giggle.

 ** _Aubrey!_**

 _Sorry!_

The apology was almost immediate, and it made Beca smile again. As she reached to return the phone to its proper place on the nightstand, it buzzed again in her hand.

 _But it is._

She rolled her eyes. At this rate, she'd never get to sleep…

 ** _GOOD NIGHT, AUBREY._**

She put the phone back down and closed her eyes. She heard it vibrate once more and waited a long moment before picking up. She cracked one eye open and read the text.

 _Sweet dreams, Becs. ;)_

Shaking her head, she snuggled into her blankets, and with a smirk on her face and lightness in her heart, Beca drifted off to sleep.

* * *

 _ **A/N:** Reviews are the sustenance of all writers. Just remember that. :)_


	14. Chapter 14

Almost a week had passed since Beca had thrown caution to the wind and slept with Chloe. The co-captains hadn't had a moment alone together since then. Classes were ending, final papers were due, and final exams were beginning. Beca was putting the finishing touches on their Worlds set, while Chloe worked tirelessly on their choreography. There was too much going on, too many loose ends that needed to be neatly tied before graduation next week. There just wasn't time for any funny business.

At least, that's what Beca kept telling herself. She had sort of assumed that she and Chloe would be turning their one night engagement into a regularly scheduled program. She wasn't lying when she had told Aubrey that she was hopeful they'd do it again, that she would really _enjoy_ it, if they did. But, at the same time, reaching what was surely, sort of, the ultimate goal of this little _exploration_ had left Beca feeling… well, kind of sated. And she assumed that Chloe was feeling similarly, because the girl hadn't shown up in Beca's room, without explanation, since that night. It's not that she didn't _want_ to do it again, but she didn't really feel the _need_ to… at least not right now.

On top of that, and all the other things that were demanding the attention of both girls, Beca still found herself inexplicably in "crisis mode." She thought that going all the way with Chloe would resolve the issues she was having about her own sexuality, that once she'd _done it_ , she'd just know how she felt, who she was now, or if it even changed anything. She realized now that thinking that having sex with Chloe would somehow clear _anything_ up was probably her biggest misstep. Things were more confusing than ever, but it wasn't actually because of Chloe, not really, well… partly. But more so, Beca still had lingering concerns because of _Aubrey_.

What was that on the phone that night? It wasn't exactly explicit, but it was certainly suggestive… And Aubrey's, uh, _interest_ in the goings-on between her and Chloe… what was _that_ about? It was Beca's own confusion, though, really, more than what the blonde had said or done, that was nagging at her. Constantly. Incessantly. How was it that Aubrey was able to rile her up that way? To get her to give in to her own illicit urges? She couldn't stop thinking of the way Aubrey had sounded on the phone that night, her low, rasping voice, the slow, deliberate speech. It had made her ache, and thinking of it now ignited a fire low in her stomach, one she was having trouble ignoring and had no hope of extinguishing.

Was she attracted to Aubrey? Or did hooking up with Chloe just open some sort of gay floodgate? Was she now just desperately, hopelessly into women? _All_ women?

That's what Beca found herself thinking on Friday night. The Bellas had collectively decided that they all needed to take a break from the end of semester – end of college altogether – stress they were all experiencing. They promised to put away the books at 7pm and meet up in the living room, order Chinese, drink wine, and have a movie night.

Beca flicked her pen as she glanced up from her notes to the digital alarm clock across the room. _7:13pm._ Even from the attic she could hear the girls gathering and giggling. She wondered how long it would take for someone to realize she was missing and come demand she join.

Exactly 14 minutes, apparently.

"Oh captain, my captain," a light, bubbly voice drifted up the stairs, the owner of which could not contain her giggle at the reference. _Emily_. Beca smiled to herself, glad the girls had remembered to invite the youngest Bella to movie night.

Amy's ungraceful call quickly followed. "What Legacy's tryin' to say is… get your twig bitch ass down here!"

"In a minute!" she yelled back, eyes still glued on the notes in her hand.

She heard loud, clomping footsteps ascending the stairs and felt her eyes crinkle as she tried to hold back a smile and stared blankly down at her notebook. The noise stopped and suddenly Beca felt something hit her in the face.

"Ow!" she shouted instinctively. She glanced down and saw the projectile sitting in her lap: a thick, red Twizzler. She looked up and saw Amy gripping another one in her hand, poised to whip it toward the tiny brunette. Beca raised a hand, as preemptive protection. "Hey! What's your problem?!"

She watched Amy lower her hand through squinted eyes. "Movie night is now. Not in a minute," she said, biting off a piece of the candy in her hand.

"Okay, well, I'll be down in a _second_ ," Beca asserted, tossing the Twizzler back at her friend.

"Nu-uh, you'll be down now." Amy put the rest of the Twizzler between her teeth, calling out with her jaw clenched, "Legacy, hold the door!" She moved forward, arms outstretched. Beca knew what was about to happen, but was powerless to stop it. Amy pushed the computer chair backward, Beca slapping at her and flailing all the while, before leaning down to pick up the smaller girl.

"No, no, no, no, no! Amy, NO! STOP IT!" she begged, repeatedly hitting the blonde's chest and arms. But it didn't stop her. It was only a matter of moments before Beca found herself draped over Amy's shoulder. She balled her hands into fists and banged against the girl's back. "Amy! Fuck you! STOP IT. PUT ME DOWN!"

When Amy reached the top of the stairs, she gave the brunette two quick pats on her butt. "Atta girl, Cap," she said, before slowly descending the stairs. As they reached the landing, Beca saw the freshman Bella doing her best – and utterly failing – to contain her laughter.

As the duo passed Emily, Beca thrust a strong finger in her direction. "Don't you dare," she said, through gritted teeth. "I will cut you, Legacy. I swear I'll cut you!"

* * *

The rest of the Bellas were already assembled and hooted and hollered as Fat Amy carried her into the living room, tossing her on the couch with a satisfied grunt.

"Found her!" she shouted, much louder than was really necessary. "Now the fun begins!"

The girls laughed as Beca reconfigured herself, brushing her fingers through her hair. "Fuck all of you," she huffed, crossing her arms and collapsing back into the couch.

"Here, Becs." She looked in the direction of the sweet voice. Chloe was seated at the far end of the couch, leaning toward her with her arm outstretched, a glass of wine in her hand.

The brunette readily reached for the glass, her fingers brushing against Chloe's as she took it from her. "Thanks," she said, taking a small sip before placing the glass on the nearby end table.

"So, what are we watching?" Ashley asked cheerfully.

"Something fun!" Chloe pronounced, her excitement apparent.

Stacie's main concern, of course, was how hot the guy in the movie would be. And, like every movie night, she readily voiced her current man candy preference. "What about something with Channing Tatum? He's so fucking sexy."

"Ooo! Ooo! Magic Mike XXL!" the red head offered, her bubbling enthusiasm practically forcing her out of her seat.

The rest of the ladies shouted approvingly, but Beca's eyes were on Cynthia Rose, whose eye roll game was so strong that her whole head followed.

"Really, guys? Come on now."

Chloe was quick to appease her, though. "You'll love it, C! Amber Heard is _totally hot_ in it! And Jada Pinkett Smith is an actual _goddess_."

Cynthia Rose raised her hands in surrender. "Alright, alright. I guess I can get behind that then."

Stacie clapped eagerly. "Yesssssss!"

"I'll go get it," Chloe said, hopping up from her seat. "It's in my room." She was gone in a flurry of movement.

It was Beca's turn for an eye roll, but she couldn't stop the shining grin that spread across her face as she shook her head. She was really going to miss nights like this one, sharing the company of such an amazing group of women, despite all her protests to the contrary. It made her sad to think about sometimes, but today she did her best to treasure every second, fully aware that this was bound to be one of their very last nights together this way.

The doorbell rang, and Fat Amy sprang into action. "Food's here! Give me a hand, Legacy." Without a word, Emily followed her out of the room like an obedient puppy.

Beca looked around, taking in the sight of each girl, and remembering her thoughts from earlier. Was Beca any more gay now than she was pre-experimentation? Was she looking at the Bellas differently now? Had her interests changed?

Her eyes fell first on Flo, who was perched on the corner of the coffee table. Beca noted her dark hair and eyes, her adorable peanut sized packaging. Sure, she was beautiful, but was she sexy, to Beca? Lily was next to her, hair plaited in perfect braids, her eyes were wide and warm. But did Beca suddenly have the desire to stare into them forever? Jessica was snuggled next to Ashley on the opposite side of the room, her smile stunning as she giggled. The sight was delightful, but was Beca _attracted_ to it? She flicked her eyes to Ashley. Her skin was smooth and flawless, but did Beca want to touch it? Cynthia Rose sat cross-legged on the floor. She was stunning, and perfect, and her voice _did something_ to Beca's insides. But it wasn't like she wanted to hear all the other noises the girl was capable of, right? That left Stacie, who was definitely one of the hottest women Beca had ever known. The tall girl's shoulders were pressed against the wall to the left of Cynthia Rose, her arms folded across her middle, accentuating her breasts in the tight V-neck t-shirt. And, yeah, Stacie's rack was absolutely unreal. Beca was pretty sure there wasn't a person on this planet, including gay men and straight women, that wouldn't want to bury their faces into it. That certainly didn't make her gay… did it? Or… any more gay than she apparently already was?

This wasn't helping. The exercise was futile. She felt even more confused than she had only moments ago. Sure, they were a group of kooky misfits, but they were _really attractive_ kooky misfits. Was it any sort of shock that she found each and every one of them alarmingly beautiful?

It was in that moment that Chloe returned, bouncing toward the television with DVD in hand. As the red head bent down to put the disc into the player, Beca got a full, unimpeded view of the girl's backside in the too short shorts she made a habit of wearing to bed, and something clicked. She felt like a dog who had heard a noise outside, ears suddenly pricked up with intense focus on something invisible. She was staring, but caught herself as she leaned intently forward. Her face flushed as embarrassment coursed through her. She averted her eyes, staring now at a blank, white wall because _that_ was totally normal.

She hoped none of the other women saw her ogling, silently prayed that if anyone had, they wouldn't make a thing of it. The girls continued to chatter on about Channing Tatum, their conversation drifting to other celebrity men who were easy on the eyes, and Beca felt herself relax.

She refocused her gaze on Amy and Emily as they returned with two brown boxes filled with white Chinese food containers. Amy spread them all out across the coffee table, announcing what each contained as she did so. Emily distributed chopsticks amongst the group, then disappeared to collect a few forks from the kitchen for those uncomfortable with the wooden utensils.

Beca took another sip of her wine as the Bellas began to dig in. They always ate Chinese food family style. They ate straight from the containers as they passed them around for all to enjoy. It was like having a private buffet and, yeah, this is exactly what Beca was going to miss. The ritualistic habits that would suddenly disappear from her life once this was all over. She had no doubt these women would still remain her closest friends, but things were going to be different soon, very soon. Beca wasn't afraid of change, but she certainly wasn't looking forward to it.

Despite her earlier shame, Beca was grateful for her moment of weakness when Chloe returned. It made something abundantly clear to her. Yes, the Bellas might all be beautiful. Sure, there would be worse things than being locked in a room for 7 minutes in heaven with any one of them. But Beca was _weak_ for Chloe, and only Chloe. She didn't suddenly find herself infatuated with other women. In fact, she wasn't looking at any of them any differently at all. This sexual awakening of hers wasn't about _women_ , it was about _Chloe Beale_. Though, that still left some lingering confusion about Aubrey…

She tried to think of Aubrey, her slim, toned form, her blonde hair, her mesmerizing eyes (Beca never could decide if they were green or blue). She thought of her long, slender neck, the soft swell of her breasts, the smooth curve of her hips. She pictured the muscles of her bare back, recalled the length of well-shaped legs, briefly imagined the feel of a firm yet supple backside. Beca's thoughts danced across the half-remembered, half-dreamed appearance of Aubrey's body, and she was certain, absolutely certain, that she felt _something_ – something that tingled in her brain and warmed the expanse of her upper abdomen, just below her breasts and above her stomach. And maybe it was arousing, but it was very _different_ from the feelings that had swept through her at the sight of Chloe.

That fact calmed Beca, at least for this moment. Maybe she was attracted to Aubrey, and maybe that gave the blonde certain powers of persuasion over her, but she didn't _need_ her the way she needed Chloe.

And, oh boy, was _this_ an inconvenient time to realize that she was no longer sated by her first time with Chloe. In fact, it was the most inconvenient time, because Chloe was pressing play and walking toward Beca as Stacie flipped off the lights. Then Chloe was sitting dangerously close to her, their legs brushing gently. Beca felt her face flush as she swallowed a mouthful of lo mein, while Chloe pulled the brown blanket off the back of the couch and spread it across both of their laps. Beca watched out of her periphery as Chloe reached for her wine glass. Their eyes connected when Chloe raised the glass toward Beca, her bright blue eyes dancing as she winked. "Cheers, Becs," she said, and took a large gulp of the red liquid.

* * *

About an hour into the movie, Beca was certain she was going to implode. Once the group had finished eating, and polished off the fifth and final bottle of wine, one of Chloe's hands had found its way under the blanket and onto Beca's bare thigh, where it had been tracing figure eights for the past twenty minutes.

Beca's mind was racing. She felt conflicted. On the one hand, she didn't want Chloe to stop. The touch was sweet, and loving, and wonderful, but it was absolutely driving her crazy, and they were in a room with the rest of the Bellas. This level of intimacy in public, amongst their friends, made Beca extremely uncomfortable. Sure, the action was hidden beneath the blanket, and she knew no one else had noticed – all eyes were, of course, affixed to the half-naked men dancing on the screen. But she still wanted Chloe to stop. The cease and desist, however, was stuck at the back of her throat. Her body was frozen in its current position. She couldn't bring herself move Chloe's hand away. So she sat still, quiet, beads of sweat making themselves known at the back of her neck.

Suddenly, she heard the buzz of her phone on the end table, next to her now empty glass, and Beca was grateful for the distraction. Reaching for her cell forced her to shift positions, Chloe's hand falling away from her as a result. She picked up the device and resumed her position, thankful that Chloe's hand didn't return to her leg. The text was from Aubrey, and Beca swiped to reveal it.

 _Long time no speak. How are you?_

 ** _Fine_**

Beca dropped her phone into her lap, but it buzzed again, almost instantly.

 _Just fine?_

 ** _Yeah, been busy._**

 _Oh yeah? With what? ;)_

Beca had to roll her eyes at the blonde's audacious implication, and a small smirk might have crept onto her face.

"Who is it?" Chloe whispered.

Beca looked to her red haired friend, feeling a little self-conscious at having been caught, but of course the girl had noticed her tapping away at the screen, had probably noticed her physical reaction to the last message. She turned her head to look into Chloe's sparkling eyes, and noted the girl's affectionate smile.

"Just Aubrey," she replied, then returned to her phone to respond to Aubrey's message.

 ** _Not that, you perv. Finals. The Worlds set. Life._**

"Tell her I said 'hi.'" The sound of Chloe's voice was dangerously close. She could feel the girl's hot breath against the shell of her ear. Her stomach began to knot, but she did her best to ignore it.

"Okay."

 ** _Chloe says hi_**

 _You're with Chloe? ;)_

"She says 'hi,'" Beca lied. Chloe grinned, satisfied with the response and returned her focus to the movie, which is what Beca was hoping she would do.

 ** _Bellas movie night_**

Beca felt Chloe's hand once again slowly creeping beneath the plush covering, stopping once it had spread itself wide on her thigh. Chloe made no further move, no tantalizing brushes of her fingers; she simply allowed her hand to rest comfortably there, fingertips digging ever so lightly into soft flesh. Beca's phone vibrated in her left hand.

 _And Chloe's next to you?_

 _On the couch?_

Beca moved her right hand beneath the blanket, placing it gingerly on top of Chloe's, curling her fingers between the red head's and gently rubbing the skin between her knuckles.

 ** _Yes_** , she replied, using only her left thumb.

 _Is she touching you?_

The knot that had begun to form in her stomach pulled suddenly tighter. A lump rose in her throat that she quickly swallowed down. Her cheeks felt hot. She was about to pull her hand away from Chloe's to respond, when another text came in.

 _Are you touching her?_

She immediately jerked her hand away and out from under the blanket. She felt like she had been caught doing something she shouldn't. Her face flushed, embarrassed, and _of course_ Chloe looked at her with concern in her big, blue eyes.

"Sorry," Beca muttered. "It's fine. Uh… I just…" she gestured at the phone, apparently incapable of otherwise completing the thought, but Chloe nodded, content with the answer, and once again returned her focus to the screen.

 ** _Dude. You HAVE to stop._**

 _Oh my God. SHE IS! YOU ARE!_

Beca was flustered, beyond flustered, but could do nothing but scream like a petulant child… because something was stopping her from just putting the phone down, from ignoring Aubrey. Something she wasn't yet aware of, and certainly not willing to admit to.

 ** _STOP_**

 _You guys are naughty…_

 _In the same room as the rest of the Bellas…_

 ** _It's not like that!_**

 _It's just like that night in the tent…I'm sensing a pattern here…_

Beca started to type an explanation, but found herself deleting it once, then twice, and finally a third time. She was too agitated to even _text_ without tripping over the things she wanted to say.

 _Sure it's not_

Aubrey didn't give her the chance to formulate what was bound to be a half-hearted response, because the next three texts popped on her screen in quick succession.

 _Tell me, Beca_

 _Tell me how she's touching you_

 _Her hand is on your thigh, isn't it?_

Beca blinked twice. How did Aubrey _know_ that? She became very aware of the heat radiating from Chloe's palm, spreading across her thigh. Something in her stomach dropped as warmth spread across her chest. She chewed her bottom lip as she typed out what she knew was the only response Aubrey would accept: the truth.

 ** _Yes_**

 _And what are you touching? ;)_

 ** _Nothing… anymore._**

 _What? Why?!_

 ** _I can't text you with only one hand_**

"What's she saying?" Chloe breathed. The sound of her voice caused Beca to flinch, startled by the interruption.

"Oh, uh – nothing really," she stuttered.

"Seems like something." Beca felt Chloe's hand press forward, her fingers curving over the interior of her thigh before pulling back to the original position, then moving forward again. Her hand finally settled, fingers dangling between Beca's crossed legs, the tips just barely brushing the skin of her thigh.

Her heart felt like it stopped in her chest, just for a moment, as wet heat settled low in her stomach. She closed her eyes for a brief moment, enjoying the feeling, but couldn't help but chuckle when her phone buzzed again.

 _Then put the phone down!_

 _But text me about it later…_

 ** _I'm so not doing that_**

She smiled to herself and leaned toward the end table to do as she had been told, but her cell vibrated again.

 _Fine, but if you don't tell me, Chloe will. You know she will._

Beca rolled her eyes and set the device face down on the table. She resumed her seat, leaning back into the couch, and reaching her hand once again below the blanket. She grabbed Chloe's hand, entwining their fingers, and set the pair to rest on her leg. Chloe looked at her again, her eyes shimmering, as she smiled something sweet and beautiful. Beca couldn't stop herself. She smiled back, something toothy and awkward, but filled with sincere happiness. They both looked back to the TV as Chloe nestled her head into the crook of Beca's neck.

* * *

 **A/N** **:** _Okay, credit where credit is due. My boyfriend wanted to see Beca thinking she might be sexually attracted to the rest of the Bellas. So, there you have it, dear. Thanks for the inspiration. It was super fun to write. And I hope the rest of you enjoyed it, and the rest of this chapter, too! Thanks for always being awesome readers!_


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N:** _Sorry for the delay on this chapter, guys! Life happened, and I stopped to write a prompt somewhere in the middle... Anyhow - hope you enjoy! :)_

* * *

"That was aca-awesome," Stacie slurred, having had, perhaps, a bit more wine than the rest of the crew.

"Yeah," Amy agreed, "I sure wouldn't mind riding _that_ pony."

"But what about Bumper?" Ashley sheepishly asked.

"Yeah, Amy. You're like a totally committed lady now. How does that feel?" Beca asked, grinning. She wasn't normally so chatty when it came to conversations like this one, but Beca couldn't help it. The wine had gone to her head, and teasing Amy about her now boyfriend was simply too funny and too adorable to resist.

"Eh – it's fine," she hedged. The room broke out into a fit of giggles at her response. It was obvious to everyone, save for Amy herself, that the blonde was giddy in love with the former Treblemaker. The smile Amy was attempting to tamp down was a dead giveaway.

"First comes love, then comes marriage…" Cynthia Rose sing-songed, until the whack of a pillow cut her off.

"Shut up!" Amy shouted.

Beca lost track of the conversation as Chloe's fingers disentangled from her own, her palm moving to slide up and down the brunette's thigh. Beca had honestly forgotten that she had been holding Chloe's hand, and had been for at least the last hour, but now her hand felt empty, and a little sweaty, without it. Beca chanced a glance at the girl next to her, who looked back at her with a cheerful grin, her bright eyes accentuating the little bit of mischief held within the smile. Beca watched as the tip of Chloe's tongue poked out between her teeth, the girl's shoulders quickly rising then falling before returning her attention to the room.

Beca did the same, but as her eyes landed on an embarrassed Emily, she felt Chloe's hand rush quickly toward her center, fingers cupping as she grabbed her. Beca was on her feet in a shot with a strange and strangled yelp, joining Emily in her blushing and altogether mortified state. Banter came to a screeching, noiseless halt as all the Bellas suddenly turned to her. She threw a hand up to cover her face, fingers pressing into her forehead.

"Uhh…" she intoned, before clearing her throat.

Amy's voice cut through the uncomfortable silence. "What's the haps, shortstack?"

"You okay, cap?" asked Cynthia Rose.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Um. I just… thought I… felt something."

"Like what?" Beca's hands impulsively balled into fists at the sound of Chloe's bubbly, innocent voice. She turned her head to glare at her and was met with raised eyebrows and a self-satisfied smirk.

She turned back, all eyes still on her. "I don't know," she said through gritted teeth. "Like a… like a bug, or something," she sputtered.

"When I was six years old, my best friend was bit by a mosquito and died."

Beca had never been more grateful for one of Flo's disturbing, exaggerated interjections. The odd comment took the attention off of her just long enough for the tipsy group to resume their conversation.

She started to sit back down next to Chloe, but thinking through it, she instead chose to perch on the arm of the couch, a safe distance away from the impish girl who was giggling under her breath when Beca looked her way. Beca glowered, gesturing a warning finger in the older girl's direction. The redhead held up both hands in mock defeat, lowering her head as she mouthed the word "sorry," before continuing to silently snicker.

* * *

"I can't believe you did that!" The team had dispersed for the night and the co-captains were back in Chloe's room. Beca had followed the redhead there, bursting in uninvited and immediately scolding the older girl the second she closed the door.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Chloe grinned.

"Right," Beca sighed. "You just… you can't do that. Not when there's people around." Beca noted the glint in Chloe's eye, knew exactly what was coming next and was about to protest, but Chloe beat her to it.

"There's no one around now," Chloe breathed as she took several slow and deliberate steps in Beca's direction.

"No. Absolutely not. Stop it." Despite her objections, Chloe continued to move forward until her body was centimeters from Beca's. She noticed her own breath shift, becoming shorter, more erratic, and she hated that Chloe could have this sort of effect on her. Because right now she was mad, and she wanted to stay that way. She didn't come here for this. Well, at least not consciously…

The heels of Chloe's palms pressed roughly against her shoulders, Beca's back colliding with the door. She noted the loud, banging sound it made, felt the sting of it on her shoulder blades. Her breath hitched in her throat as Chloe held her there, staring directly into her eyes with a raw sort of ferocity, the likes of which Beca had never seen there before.

Then Chloe's mouth was on her neck, and Beca's breath released in a pathetic whimper. She wanted to protest further, but the words tangled in her throat as heat built in her core. Chloe's lips were so soft, her tongue so wet, and its movement so measured. Beca tilted her head back, giving the redhead a bit more access, as her eyes screwed shut.

Her brain kept telling her to stop this, to push Chloe off, to walk away, but her limbs weren't responding. Her body had other plans.

Chloe's hands caressed down her arms, to her hips, before gliding up her shirt ultimately finding purchase at her bare waist. She could feel Chloe's fingers gripping her firmly, digging into the flesh of her back, the pads of her thumbs rubbing gently, hotly across her stomach.

"I've been waiting to do this all night," Chloe hummed. "I needed to feel you." Beca felt the redhead's tongue slide up the column of her neck, teeth nipping her earlobe. Chloe's body pressed further into hers, until there was no air between them at all, then breathed directly into Beca's ear: "I needed to taste you."

The brunette shivered at the words, and knew Chloe could feel the movement across every inch of her own body, knew it would only spur Chloe on further, but she still couldn't have anticipated the low growl coming from the other girl's throat. The sound of it set fire to Beca's insides. Teeth sunk not so gently into the flesh connecting her neck to her shoulder and Beca yelped something high-pitched and pitiful, the palms of her hands flattening against the door behind her, doing their best to hold herself still. Her knees were weak and her body wanted to collapse under the weight of the woman pressing into her, but she resisted the urge. She could hold strong. After all, she was Beca effin' Mitchell.

Chloe pressed her cheek against Beca's, so she could once again whisper into her ear. Vision partially impaired by waves of red hair, Beca didn't notice the hand before it connected with the bare skin of her chest, exposed by the v-neck t-shirt. The hand pressed hard against her, before gliding slowly up and gripping Beca by the base of her throat. She released a heavy, shaking breath at the contact, and then Chloe spoke. "What was Aubrey texting you?"

Beca's brain momentarily short circuited. Chloe's voice was deep and sultry, but somehow the words didn't match up. Her eyes shot open; she wanted to voice her question, but was pretty certain that the confused _what?!_ never made it from her thoughts to actual, manifested speech, because Chloe expanded upon her first ask. "What was she saying about us?"

If there was a moment that Beca had thought she misheard the girl, or was imagining the whole thing, she was certain now that she hadn't. Something resembling panic was building within her as Chloe began trailing wet kisses down her jawline. She wasn't sure what was happening, how this was happening, what it was that Chloe was playing at here. Frantic thoughts were spinning through her head, but pointed to no conclusion. This didn't make any sense.

"Tell me," Chloe breathed against her lips, before sloppily kissing her, the hand around her throat tightening ever so slightly.

She kissed back for a moment, before reminding her body who was the boss, and reaching her hands up, roughly pushing the woman off her, their lips parting with a smack. "What?!" she demanded, breathlessly.

Chloe started to smirk, an eyebrow raised, but as her shining blue eyes connected with Beca's, she faltered. Her face shifted, suddenly nervous and apologetic, her eyes flicked down to the floor, all confidence lost. She looked like a sad puppy who knew she'd done something wrong and was scared to find out what the consequences would be.

"Uh, sorry. N-nothing," she stuttered. "Never mind."

"What the _fuck_ , dude?!" she half shouted, half laughed. She wasn't exactly sure how she should be feeling right now. She was surprised by the redhead's words, didn't have the slightest clue what they meant, yet she was also painfully aroused. The mention of their blonde friend's name hadn't counteracted the way Chloe was making her feel just a moment ago. _Wait a second. Should it have?_

Panic gripped her. The feeling was familiar. Was this thing with Chloe ever going to get any less weird? Any easier?

"What the fuck is happening?!" she spat when Chloe didn't immediately respond to her first question.

"Nothing!" Chloe was quick to answer this time. "I just… I was just wondering what she said to you, that's all." The second half of her statement was rushed, but it was the pause – the gap between the truth and the lie – that was most curious to Beca. This whole experimentation thing existed in silences like that one, in the things that weren't being said. But while Beca was eager to fill those fractures with facts and certainty, she knew she wasn't ready for it. She wasn't prepared to share her own thoughts and feelings, wouldn't have known how to even if she was. And hearing those things from Chloe? No, Beca definitely was not ready for that either.

So she had to make a choice, to let it go, or to walk away. It didn't make any sense, really, and maybe it was just her inability to extinguish the fire within her while she was looking at her friend's flushed cheeks and bruised lips, but Beca honestly felt afraid of the latter. She didn't know how Chloe would react if she left, didn't even know what she herself would do and she didn't want to find out. The thing that scared her most was what would become of them, of this thing they were doing, if she walked away right now.

So she didn't. Instead, she quickly stepped forward, wrapping one arm around Chloe's waist and bringing the opposite hand to Chloe's jawline, roughly pulling the woman in for a passionate kiss.

Chloe spun them, her hands gripping Beca's biceps as she pushed her backward toward the bed. Beca's knees gave out instantly when the backs of them connected with the mattress, gracelessly collapsing onto it. She gasped at the surprise of it, but Chloe moved quickly into her lap, legs straddling her hips as the heels of her palms forced Beca onto her back, pinning her there. The brunette reflexively surged her shoulders upward, against the weight of Chloe's hands, but Chloe was stronger than she looked and Beca found herself effectively powerless. She looked up at her co-captain, hair wild, eyes intensely focused and yet still glistening with that adorable Chloe patented shine, a confident and wicked grin gracing her face.

Beca thought she should be afraid of that look. It was hungry and it was commanding, but it only served to excite her and she whimpered breathlessly in response because Chloe wasn't doing anything. She was sitting atop her, perfectly still, holding Beca in place, but otherwise doing nothing more than staring down at her. Beca's chest was hot, and she could feel wetness pooling between her thighs; she desperately needed attention from more than just Chloe's eyes. Her hips rolled almost unconsciously as she watched the woman above her slowly lick her lips.

"Patience isn't really your strong suit, huh, Becs?" Chloe's voice was an impossible combination of cute and sexy. Had she not heard it herself, she would have sworn such a sound didn't exist anywhere on this planet. Beca wanted to respond, but her words were trapped somewhere between her thoughts and her mouth, so she groaned instead, once again writhing beneath the older girl. Chloe giggled, then turned suddenly serious. Chloe's chest was abruptly pressed flush against Beca's own, and her brain was hyper aware of the sensation. Chloe's mouth was by her ear, her voice now turned gravelly and low, and almost cruel. "I heard you the first time," she growled.

Beca released a pathetically strangled, guttural noise. Chloe's words sounded in Beca's ears like an echo. Her chest heaved as she raised a hand to graze her fingers across Chloe's cheek, but the girl grabbed her wrist and roughly thrust it against the mattress just above Beca's head.

"No touching." The tenor of Chloe's command, and the words themselves, made Beca feel absolutely weak. She couldn't speak, couldn't move, and didn't want to. As Chloe gripped tightly to her other wrist, dragging it up to meet its opposite, Beca knew she was now at the mercy of the redhead, knew that trying to fight it would prove futile. Something about that made her smile stupidly, even though it felt like exactly the wrong time to do so, but Chloe smiled back down at her. The two remained still that way for what felt like a long time to Beca, long enough for Beca to imagine what they must have looked like from a distance, and to mentally snapshot the moment, filing it away for later remembrance, hoping that the way she was feeling right now would be forever attached to the image.

Then Chloe's mouth was on hers, kissing her with wild abandon. Beca wanted to press her hips against Chloe's, but reminded herself not to, lest she be reprimanded again. She had to trust that Chloe knew what she wanted, what she needed. As if on cue, Beca felt the girl's hips press into her before rolling against her agonizingly slowly. The sound of Chloe moaning made Beca feel dizzy. She felt fingers gripping her wrists more tightly as Chloe's hips ground into her once more, a little quicker this time.

Chloe broke the kiss and when Beca's eyes fluttered open she found the woman staring down at her, biting her lower lip. Chloe didn't break eye contact as her hips continued to rock against Beca. It made Beca feel a little bit uncomfortable, and most definitely vulnerable, but there was also something distinctly arousing about the shared connection. She was captivated by every minute change in the girl's face and could see the way the breath left her body in clipped waves. She imagined herself as the air Chloe inhaled, the staccato rhythm beginning to match the redhead's movement.

Chloe shifted her hands, now holding both of Beca's with only her left. She leaned down to kiss Beca's jawline as her right hand moved to grab her breast. Her lips traveled once again to Beca's throat. She began to feel a bit overwhelmed by all of their points of contact and her inability to reciprocate any of the attention. Her skin was hot, her breath short, her head swimming. It was crazy to think how turned on she was, how close she already was, despite the fact that neither of them had shed even one layer of clothing.

Her hands were suddenly released as Chloe leaned back, tugging at Beca's shirt. "Take this off." The brunette worried for a moment that the other girl was somehow capable of reading her thoughts, but shook it off as she sat up, pulling off her shirt and tossing it to the floor.

"This too," Chloe said, tugging at her bra strap. Beca looked away, reaching around to unhook the garment as Chloe sat back, removing her own shirt. When she looked back up, Chloe's breasts were centimeters from her face, clad in light blue lace. She flicked her eyes up to meet Chloe's, whose smile was daring her to do… something. Beca just wasn't sure what. She looked back down, stared ahead at the sensual sight in front of her and unconsciously licked her lips.

"Touch me," Chloe finally instructed. Beca was quick to obey, reaching both hands up to cup the underside of Chloe's breasts. She trailed kisses from her sternum to the edge of cloth, the woman above her watching her closely. Tugging the fabric aside, she continued her journey, sucking the peak into her mouth and running a hot tongue against it. Beca's eyes flicked up again to see Chloe's head drop back, directing a loud groan toward the ceiling. Beca moaned softly in response, the vibrations of which the redhead must have been pleased with as her fingers tangled into Beca's hair and pulled her even closer.

Beca's hands drifted down Chloe's stomach and around to her back, nails gently scraping down smooth skin. Her hands moved to grip the older girl's backside, urging her down further into her lap, Beca rolling her hips up against her.

"Mmm," Beca hummed before flicking her wrist to give Chloe a swift slap. Fingers immediately released from her hair; she felt them dance across her collarbone as Chloe pushed herself out of reach of Beca's mouth.

"Beca!" If the high-pitched squeak of Chloe's voice wasn't enough to make her surprise known, then the look on her face certainly was.

Beca didn't respond, though, except to grin something knowing yet innocent, her eyebrows raised in what she intended to be a very teasing look. Chloe's hand flew to her throat, grasping beneath her chin, fingers pressing against her jaw. The move was rough and it forced Beca's mouth open, which Chloe took as an opportunity to slide her tongue directly inside without hesitation or any sense of propriety.

This more aggressive Chloe was absolutely thrilling to Beca. She thought that maybe she should be a bit more afraid of her, of this – after all, this really was only their second time together – but she was simply too aroused by it to care. It wasn't something she ever could have articulated wanting – honestly, it'd never even occurred to her that something like this would be something she even _enjoyed_ – but Chloe was just so… so _hot_.

Beca reached for Chloe, but her hands were promptly slapped away, shoved back against the bed. "Only when I say so." Her tone was firm, but much kinder than the earlier snarling directives. Beca felt herself forcibly pushed back on the bed, Chloe's mouth back on her neck, but rougher this time, biting hard and sucking harder. Then, Chloe's voice in her ear, once again growling, "I'm gonna make you come so hard."

The words made the room spin. She felt like she was going to pass out, and was suddenly very grateful to be laying down. Chloe's mouth trailed down her body, licking, sucking, and nipping at every piece of flesh she encountered. As her lips pressed a kiss just below Beca's navel, Chloe reached up and pressed a firm hand against her chest, then dragged it down her abdomen, nails scratching, until fingers dipped under the edge of her shorts. Chloe sat back and ripped them from her, taking her panties with them.

Beca watched breathlessly as the redhead positioned herself between her legs, kissed up the inside of her left thigh, then turned her head to give the right the same attention. She let her head fall back when she felt Chloe's tongue press against the flesh connecting her thigh to her center. She was eager for what was sure to follow, could literally feel the anticipation dripping from her, but Chloe continued to tease her, to lick everywhere but where Beca needed her. She let out a frustrated whimper and arched her back, hoping the movement in her hips would be enough to get Chloe where she wanted her. But it wasn't, and she realized then that the girl's actions were purposeful, that she wanted Beca to suffer, wanted her to beg.

"Please, Chlo."

The redhead hummed in response, the tremor intoxicating, and her voice innocent. "Please what?"

Beca groaned, frustration evident as her hips bucked. A single finger dragged up her thigh and stopped just below her entrance. "Tell me," now a gruff, demanding tone.

"I…" but her words tangled in her throat. "Please," she cried.

"Tell me." Chloe didn't move as Beca writhed, an anxious breath escaping through her nose. Beca's eyes were shut tightly and it was a moment more before she heard Chloe's low rasp. "Tell me what you need."

"God. Fuck. Just _touch me_ ," she pleaded.

"Touch you where?" That innocent tone was back and it was driving Beca _crazy_ , made her desperate. Her frustration showed as pent up words spilled out of her in a slightly garbled rush, making it clear to Chloe that she couldn't take one more second of this.

"Everywhere. Please. Inside, outside. Just please. God. I want you to make me come. Please. _Please_."

She could practically feel Chloe's grin, and something about that sort of irritated her, yet aroused her even further. And despite her best efforts, she couldn't quite stifle her quiet scream as Chloe's mouth wrapped around her clit, finger pushing inside her.

"Jesus," she breathed. Chloe's finger slowly slid in and out, tongue moving against her. Beca's breathing was fast. Her chest tight. She was honestly embarrassed by how hopelessly turned on she was, how close she was to the edge already.

Chloe must have sensed that, or maybe she really could read Beca's thoughts, because all contact suddenly stopped. She looked down as Chloe sat back and removed her finger. The movement was abrupt and kind of _painful_ for Beca, who dropped her head back releasing a groan of protest.

But Chloe was quick. Beca felt the girl's body press into her side, and then there was a hand roughly gripping her face, turning her head to stare into fiery blue eyes.

"I want to watch you come," the redhead growled and Beca couldn't help but whimper at the words, at the wanting ache between her thighs. "Kiss me."

Without hesitation, Beca obeyed, surging upward to meet Chloe's mouth with her own. She moaned at the taste of herself on the other girl's lips, couldn't stop herself from licking at them. The sensation rocked her, made her head swim. She broke the kiss and cried out when Chloe pushed two fingers inside her, thumb pressing firmly against her clit. Her pace was wild, rough, and erratic from the start, but she quickly found a hard and fast rhythm. Beca focused on breathing, which was becoming an increasing challenge. Chloe was using her teeth to pull and suck on her ear lobe. She screwed her eyes shut, head pressed into the bed, as she felt herself once again nearing the edge.

Then a hand was clutching her neck, turning her head once more, pressing firmly against her. "Look at me," came the gruff command. Beca groaned, her brow furrowing. "I said look at me."

Her eyes snapped open. She couldn't deny an order that harshly spoken. When her eyes connected with Chloe's, she could see raw desire burning there. The glisten in them was animalistic; it was practically savage. And it was Beca's complete undoing. She felt herself cascading over the edge and as much as she wanted to look away as she rode out the feeling, she never broke eye contact with Chloe. Maybe she did black out for just a second, but she never closed her eyes. Well, not until she had completely finished, Chloe gently coaxing her down, and the drunken fog clearing from her brain. Then the unbridled arousal she felt was quickly replaced by mortification. She grabbed a pillow and pulled it over her face.

She heard Chloe chuckle and started to retort before she realized the pillow was muffling her words. She lifted the corner of it from her face, just enough to be understood. "Ohmygod. Stop it! What the fuck?!"

Chloe laughed even harder, so Beca swung the pillow at her before pulling it back to her own face.

"Hey!" Chloe's bubbly, innocent tone had returned and Beca was grateful for it. She could not deal with even one word from sexy Commander Beale right now. Embarrassed didn't begin to cover how she was feeling.

"Are you freaking kidding me right now?!"

"What?" Chloe asked incredulously. "Seriously, Becs. It's totes fine. Why are you freaking out?"

Beca groaned into the pillow before peeking out from the side of it. "Because that was mortifying!"

"Well, you certainly seemed to _enjoy_ it…" Chloe said with a cocky grin.

Beca practically screamed into the pillow. She became suddenly aware of how fully naked she was and immediately popped up and off the bed, grabbing her discarded clothes from the floor. "Don't look at me!" she threw over her shoulder as she slipped back into her clothes at record speed.

Chloe laughed. It was loud and full bellied. _Glad she's enjoying this_ , Beca thought sarcastically. Once she was covered, she turned back to face the redhead, both her hands threading through her hair, holding it back for a moment as she stared at the edge of the bed.

The sweet tone of Chloe's voice forced her to look up into kind eyes. "You have nothing to be embarrassed about. It's seriously fine. _More than fine_ ," she said with an exaggerated wink.

Beca thrust a hand forward, gesturing in Chloe's direction. "But—" she started to protest, but her friend cut her off.

"No buts. _That_ ," Chloe said with a nod of her head and flash of her eyes toward the space on the bed that Beca had inhabited only moments ago, "was _fucking hot_."

Beca looked up toward the ceiling, shaking her head slightly in disbelief. Chloe was _insufferable_ , but she'd be lying if she said the comment didn't make her want to smile, or that it didn't somehow warm her cold, black heart. Chloe certainly had a way of brightening Beca's mood in any given situation. That skill was being pushed to the limits lately, but so far, it was no less true than it had been in the past.

"Now," Chloe started, climbing to her knees and working her way to foot of the bed, toward Beca. "Isn't it time you got your cute butt over here? I haven't had my turn yet…" she pouted.

Beca rolled her eyes, but couldn't suppress her smile as she moved toward the bed. "Who says you get a turn?" she teased.

"Mitchell, I swear—" but the thought was cut off as Beca bent down and pressed their lips together.


	16. Chapter 16

**_Chloe's crazy, dude._**

Beca really couldn't be sure what possessed her to text Aubrey when she got into bed the next night. She obviously shouldn't have. What was going on between her and Chloe was none of Aubrey's business. And with Chloe's apparent _interest_ in the relationship Aubrey and Beca shared, which Chloe had vocalized in her own vague way last night, the brunette really should have thought better of it. In fact, she almost instantly regretted it, but it wasn't enough to stop her. She _had_ to tell Aubrey. She'd gotten used to the pattern of it all. She couldn't properly describe the reasons why – not that anyone was likely to ask – but she felt compelled to do it, like it was some obligation she was incapable of shirking.

 _Oh? What happened?_

And _that_ is what was really crazy, not Chloe Beale. The fact that she felt any sort of devotion to the blonde woman – well, no, not devotion really. Beca had just come to rely on the conversations that followed her experiences with her redheaded friend. It wasn't really about Aubrey specifically, it was more about Aubrey's inherent _dependability_. Aubrey was a particular brand of person. A Type A control freak, to be sure, but also the kind of person who would make herself available. Chloe was a good friend. She'd always be there for emotional support, at the ready to provide an ear to listen, or a shoulder to cry on. But Aubrey was prompt. Aubrey was scheduled. Aubrey was consistent. Aubrey was, in so many ways, so very, very predictable. So, yes, maybe she only ever showed up on her own terms, but her terms were reasonable, and not lacking in kindness. And Beca had come to rely on the regularity of these talks, the constancy that was Aubrey Posen.

So it really wasn't so much about Aubrey as it was about the service she provided just by being herself. And yet – didn't that, by definition, make it absolutely about Aubrey? About _who Aubrey was_? Beca shook that thought from her mind almost instantly.

 ** _After Bellas movie night… Did she tell you already?_**

Beca felt certain that this information would have already been shared with Aubrey. After all, she had waited almost a full 24 hours to send that text.

 _No_

The response was simple and begged no further question. Beca wasn't sure if the girl was lying, or if Chloe really hadn't reached out. If she hadn't, Beca wondered why not. It seemed to her that Aubrey and Chloe were in constant communication, that Chloe had shared the details of every single moment of this little experiment with Aubrey long before Beca ever got the chance. So it was strange, and a little unbelievable, that Chloe reportedly hadn't… but Beca chose to believe it anyway.

 ** _Well, some stuff went down_**

 _What sort of stuff?_

Despite Beca's relatively bold move to text Aubrey in the first place, she found herself feeling pretty shy. She was hesitant to share the details. She didn't know what to say. And yet she couldn't let the existence of Commander Beale go unspoken. She was, again, unsure of why she felt the obligation to tell Aubrey, but there was something undoubtedly thrilling about it. There was a sharp tug in her stomach as she replayed the events of last night. She unconsciously held her breath as she tapped out her response.

 ** _Chloe can be… bossy._**

She felt something in her chest constrict as she stared at the screen, waiting for Aubrey's response. Yes, this certainly was the crazy part of what had been going on with her of late. This relationship, strictly textual, that was forming with the former Bellas captain. It didn't make any sense. It was strikingly weird. She couldn't explain it, didn't even know where to begin, except to say there was something about it that she really _enjoyed_ on both a physical and emotional level. There was something inexplicable about her recently developed attachment to, ultimately, words on a screen that were, yes, connected to a person she knew, a person she cared about, but somehow separated, for Beca, from genuine reality.

 _Bossy? How so?_

Beca wanted to explain everything, in licentious detail, but her fingers froze above the glass. She didn't have the right words, didn't know what to say. She started to type a response, then deleted it. How was she supposed to explain the way Chloe had treated her last night? She knew it wasn't really an answer, but felt like too much time had passed, so she settled on something.

 ** _Like… commanding._**

There was no response from Aubrey for a long several minutes. Beca's mind raced. She was trying to figure out what exactly to say to Aubrey and how she should say it. Why she wanted to, in the first place, once again crossed her mind, but the question quickly disappeared as she remembered Aubrey's name hot on Chloe's breath the night before. The thought made her feel so… so _strange_. She couldn't describe it any other way. It was pleasant, the feeling, more than pleasant… but somehow so, _so_ twisted. Beca swallowed hard at the memory.

As if on cue, her phone buzzed on her chest, but then surprised her and buzzed a second time. Someone was calling her. She frantically picked up the device. _Aubrey_ was calling her. Why was Aubrey calling her?

"Uh… hi?"

 _"_ _I couldn't deal with your stupid texts. Figured maybe it'd be easier if we had an actual conversation. Can you talk?"_

Beca was a bit caught off guard by the sound of the blonde's voice. She was, as always, articulate and direct. Her words carried that particular brand of Posen confidence with them. Beca was unsure she could hold her own alongside the woman with a conversation like this one, but she had never backed down from Aubrey before and she wasn't about to start now.

 _"_ _Apparently not,"_ Aubrey quipped after a long moment of silence.

"Yeah, I can talk."

 _"_ _Good. So what happened last night? Are you freaking out?"_

"No," Beca said, rolling onto her stomach. She pressed the palm of her left hand against her forehead, holding the phone to her ear with her right. "I'm just… I don't know, surprised? I guess?"

 _"_ _Surprised by what?"_ Aubrey genuinely queried.

"By Chloe," Beca responded too quickly. She didn't yet have a complete thought formed. "B-by… the way she… _acted_."

 _"_ _How did she act?"_ Aubrey's questions were simple and without implication. They were annoyingly sincere.

"Li-like I said," Beca swallowed hard. "She was… _commanding_."

 _"_ _Commanding,"_ Aubrey repeated back, as if she'd never before heard the word in her life, considering it, chewing on it. _"What did she command you to do?"_ she asked finally, her tone shifting almost imperceptibly, but Beca could _feel_ it. She _knew_ something just changed, for Aubrey.

Although Beca recognized the shift, she didn't much dwell on what it meant, or what the consequences of it might be. No, her mouth was too busy drying up at the question. Her brain much too busy flicking through images from last night.

"Uhhh…" was the only sound she managed to make.

 _"_ _Tell me, Beca._ " What _was_ it about the way that Aubrey said her name? _How_ was it that the simple utterance turned a switch on somewhere deep within her, made her stomach flip and her chest pound? Was it how she annunciated the hard 'c?' The way she dragged out the 'a' for a half second longer than necessary?

"Like, she told me that I couldn't touch her," she quickly stammered. "Or-or," she corrected, "told me when I could."

 _"_ _I see_ ," Aubrey said, her voice low but otherwise ambiguous. But the tug in Beca's stomach demanded more than just that. Somewhere in her, Beca knew what she was about to do, but it wasn't something she knew consciously. Sure, she was about to make a choice, a choice she could be held responsible for later, but she didn't make the choice with her brain. No, she made the choice with her gut, based solely on the warm churning she found there.

"She was… a little rough. Pressed me against the door, grabbed me by the throat, held my wrists against the bed."

Beca heard an indistinct noise, reminiscent of a whimper perhaps, through the phone and couldn't stop the smile that spread slowly across her face. She had wanted a reaction out of the girl, and a reaction she had got. This was strange, so strange, but all her thoughts about what exactly was happening, and why this was happening, were drowned out by the tightening of her chest and the heat racing through her.

 _"_ _And… di-did you… like that?"_ It was unlike Aubrey to stutter, and Beca's smile grew just that much wider. She'd set a trap. Aubrey'd fallen into it. And the thrill of that was powerful. Sure, she didn't know why these conversations had such an effect on the blonde, but she didn't really need to. The fact of it remained, and for whatever reason, Beca was enjoying teasing her former captain about it.

"Yes," Beca responded definitively, confidently, a tone she was certainly proud to have pulled off.

 _"_ _Well,"_ Aubrey replied after a long moment, clearly a bit flustered, _"that's…good…"_

"Did you know?" Beca asked. "Know that Chloe was… or _could be_ , you know… like that?"

Beca listened carefully to the silence that followed, listened for any hint or suggestion of what Aubrey was thinking, but to no avail. She couldn't even hear the other girl breathing and worriedly looked at her phone screen to make sure the call hadn't been dropped. Then she heard Aubrey swallow, and softly clear her throat.

 _"_ _I, uh – had heard that, yes."_

"Well I hadn't," Beca said, almost defensively. "So thanks for the heads up," she remarked sarcastically.

 _"_ _It's not like she – I mean, it's not her_ normal _thing,"_ she started, then quickly added, _"I don't think."_ She paused for a moment before continuing. _"It's_ interesting _… that she would want to… Or that she'd be able to-to… That you'd_ let _her."_ Aubrey's words were hesitant, and vague at best, but Beca could feel there was some implication behind them, something Aubrey was trying to say with them, something that made Aubrey a little, well, nervous sounding… or maybe a little excited?

"I didn't _let_ her, she just… she just—" Aubrey cut her off before she could finish her thought.

 _"_ _Did you fight her on it?"_

"Well," Beca faltered, "no… not really."

 _"_ _And you enjoyed it?"_ Aubrey's usual self-assurance was back in full force, that tone of voice that, sure, Beca would never back down from, but also had a way of making her feel somehow inadequate, like she couldn't keep up.

"Yes," she insisted forcefully, and maybe a hair too loudly, "Aubrey, yes. I enjoyed it, okay? It's not a big deal. It was barely anything, really…"

 _"_ _Okay. Calm down. I'm just… surprised, that's all. I wouldn't have pegged you as the submissive type…"_

So _that_ was Aubrey's earlier implication. Well, Beca surely had to nip that rumor in the bud. She couldn't have her tough guy image tainted. "I'm not!" she asserted.

 _"_ _Right…"_ Aubrey replied, her disbelief evident.

"I'm really not, though! Chloe just… she just… I don't know. She makes me—"

 _"_ _Wet?"_ Aubrey giggled.

"Stop that. No. _Confused._ "

Noting the seriousness of Beca's tone, Aubrey's voice shifted into one of patient, caring concern. _"Confused? How so?"_

Beca sighed. "I don't know. Everything's different with her…"

She almost immediately regretted the words. They weren't untrue, but they were certainly significant and she had tossed them out rather nonchalantly to Chloe Beale's best friend. She knew it was a mistake. She shouldn't have said that. Aubrey shouldn't have heard that.

 _"_ _I see,"_ was all the blonde offered in response. It was pensive and nonjudgmental, but it halted the conversation. Beca tried not to be outraged by that, but couldn't help herself because now she was dwelling on this thing that she had accidentally said, this heavy, weighted thing. It was churning her stomach. It was making her sweat. It made her feel like crawling into a hole to die. But just as Beca was really beginning to panic, Aubrey continued, her voice downright perky, her words ineffably sincere. _"Well I think that's just_ wonderful _."_

"You _what_?!" she incredulously cried.

 _"_ _I think it's wonderful_ ," Aubrey repeated.

Beca was still reeling. "You think _what's_ wonderful?"

 _"_ _You and Chloe,"_ replied Aubrey, drawing the 'e' in Chloe's name across several pitches. It would have been adorable if it weren't so annoying. _"It seems like she's really opening you up to some new experiences. And the way she makes you feel… I just… I think it's so great!"_

Aubrey was unequivocally _giddy_. It was a little disturbing, if Beca was honest. She could remember very few times that Aubrey sounded _this_ happy and all of those had to do with Bellas achievements. They were never about something so… personal. And this wasn't even personal _to Aubrey_. This was personal to Beca, and perhaps to Aubrey's best friend as a result.

But despite how odd it seemed, the words calmed Beca. They made her feel good, feel happy, feel content. This is, of course, what Beca had called Aubrey for in the first place: for affirmation, for acceptance. The blonde was a sort of barometer for Beca. She'd come to rely on the girl telling her everything was _okay_ , or, in this case, better than okay.

"Thanks," Beca said quietly. "That, uh – that means a lot."

Ever formal and polite, Aubrey responded fittingly. _"You are welcome."_

Beca was always grateful for this aspect of Aubrey's personality as well. The woman was certainly more likely than she was to go to an honest, emotional place when the situation called for it, but she'd never dwell there any longer than necessary. Chloe, on the other hand, lived in a pool of emotional goo that Beca was pretty sure the redhead wouldn't be able to _breathe_ without. Above all things, Aubrey was efficient and she saw no need to linger on sentiment. She said her part, and then moved on. She was confident enough to know her words carried the meaning they needed to, and there was no further need for questions or explanations.

It was her gratitude, Beca thought, which made her push the conversation further. It felt like she owed it to Aubrey, to be honest, to share _everything_ she was thinking. And of course she didn't, really, but she still wanted, maybe even needed, to tell her.

Beca bit her bottom lip as her stomach knotted. She took a wavering breath. "Chloe, uh… she… mentioned you. Last night."

 _"_ _She… what?"_ Aubrey sounded confused, but totally calm. She didn't seem alarmed, didn't seem afraid. Surprised, sure, but Beca couldn't know if that was surprise that Chloe did that, or surprise that Beca was telling her about it.

"She mentioned you," Beca confirmed. "Said your name. She… wanted to know what you had been texting me about."

 _"_ _Oh… What… what did you tell her?"_

Beca gently laughed. It was bizarre, how easy this conversation felt, despite the uncertainty gnawing away inside her. "Nothing. I… sort of freaked out?"

 _"_ _You did?"_ Was there a twinge of pain in her voice?

"Well, I mean, yeah. It was fucking _weird_ , dude."

 _"_ _Right,"_ Aubrey gave a sad chuckle, "I guess that is pretty weird."

Beca felt suddenly guilty. She wasn't sure why, but she was pretty sure that she had upset the blonde. That certainly wasn't her intent. She wasn't even sure _how_ she'd done it, _if_ she'd done it, but she felt the overwhelming need to apologize.

"Sorry. I just… it really… caught me off guard," she said calmly, before apprehension grabbed hold. "I mean, _what?_ Right? Like… _WHAT?_ " Beca gave a laugh, her voice becoming almost manic as she continued, not allowing Aubrey to get a word in. "Like we were… and then she just _asked_ me that. Like, while she was… I mean, that's crazy, right?"

Beca listened to her own short breaths. She had worked herself into a bit of a tizzy, and Aubrey's next words certainly weren't about to make things any easier for her.

 _"_ _Wait a minute. But then you… you slept with her anyway?"_ The blonde sounded composed, but still stunned and a little bit smug.

"No, no!" Beca was quick to defend. "I mean, yes, but—no!"

 _"_ _But you did,"_ insisted Aubrey. _"So… so, then, how did that make you feel? When she said that?"_

"No, it's not like that. It's not! I just—ugh, this is not why I brought this up. It's not… it's just, no, not that." Beca knew what an incoherent mess of language that was, but was simply too frustrated, and too freaked out, to be articulate. She hoped Aubrey would drop it, even though she knew she was unlikely to be that lucky.

There was a moment of silence before Beca let loose an exasperated sigh, then Aubrey pounced, her voice low. _"You didn't answer my question."_

Something hot and electric shot from Beca's brain all the way to her toes. Her jaw dropped open; her mouth felt instantly dry. Aubrey's voice… _like that_. It was just too much for Beca. She didn't understand the affect it had on her, couldn't understand the way it just… overpowered her.

"I'm sorry, what?" she stuttered.

 _"_ _I said, you didn't answer my question. I asked how it made you feel."_

Aubrey's sultry tone twisted Beca's stomach. She felt something rise in her throat and quickly swallowed it back down. "I, uh…" she started, but stopped as she suddenly recognized that she was no longer frantic. She was still uncomfortable, sure, and definitely weirded out, but she wasn't panicked. Aubrey had somehow calmed her. It was a startling realization, though not nearly as disturbing as the next one: Beca was actually going to answer her question.

"It-it… Uh, it didn't feel bad," she admitted.

 _"_ _Did it feel good?"_ Aubrey asked.

Beca was silent as she took a long moment to consider the question. She wanted to be honest with Aubrey, as honest as possible, but she was really unsure of how exactly it made her feel. Everything was twisted last night. Chloe's actions were inextricably linked to her words. Beca couldn't separate them, couldn't separate how she felt about them. It had been shocking and weird and confusing last night, and it was still pretty much all of those things today. Beca hadn't thought to parse through how it made her feel until Aubrey's little inquisition.

"I… I don't know," she answered, as truthfully as she could muster.

 _"_ _Okay,"_ Aubrey said matter-of-factly, the sensual nature of her earlier tone completely forgotten. _"It's okay."_

That was it, what Beca always craved from this newly formed relationship with Aubrey: that odd sense of _permission_ she always graciously bestowed upon Beca. It was okay to like being with Chloe. It was okay to like Chloe's more dominant side. And it was okay if the thought of Aubrey was...stimulating. Beca wasn't quite sure about that last one, but it was nice to know that she had Aubrey's express consent to think of her that way… in case she did decide that was the case.

"Thank you."

 _"_ _Of course."_ Aubrey took an audible breath. _"You know, I'm really proud of you, Beca. You've come a long way since I graduated. Chloe's always told me that, but it's another thing to see it firsthand."_

The compliment warmed Beca's heart, but it made her feel sort of itchy. She couldn't simply accept it. So instead, in true Beca fashion, she deflected. "Yeah, yeah. Okay. Whatever, dude. Let's not make this a big deal."

To the brunette's surprise, Aubrey laughed. It was a beautiful sound that made Beca smile. _"Alright, fine,"_ Aubrey said pointedly before tacking on a mocking "dude."

* * *

 _ **A/N**_ : _As always, I absolutely love hearing from you guys! Leave a review or hit me up on tumblr at v3ronica-summ3rs._


	17. Chapter 17

Time really flew by after that. Final exams came and went. In the days prior to graduation, the girls did little else than rehearse for Worlds. The performance had really come together and Chloe insisted that they were going to blow minds. Beca knew the set was great, but wasn't quite as confident as Chloe. Das Sound Machine was an exceptional group. Beca knew that the Bellas were too, of course, but even still, DSM was going to be hard to beat.

While the fear of losing, which would ultimately lead to the disintegration of the Barden Bellas, plagued her, there was something else Beca found herself more afraid of: moving on. Change, Beca assumed, was never easy for anyone. The fear of it is what kept Chloe from graduating the first time…and the second time…and the third time, and what made Aubrey the stubborn, controlling, raging nightmare she had been Beca's freshman year – though Beca was pretty certain those descriptors, minus the rage perhaps, were constants for Aubrey Posen.

Beca's life, thus far, had been overwhelmed by unexpected change and she liked to think that she had a better knack than most people for rolling with the punches. But, of course, that was wholly untrue. Change never got any easier, and being as obstinate as she was when it came to her own feelings, Beca had never developed a particularly healthy or effective coping mechanism for it either.

As an emotionally stunted idiot, it all obviously came as some big shock to Beca, that she would be feeling this way at all, which only made the whole thing more difficult. She felt stupid for being so affected by this, but she loved these girls and the future held an uncertainty she just wasn't quite ready for, as if anyone could ever be prepared for it.

Graduation came and she played it cool, pretending to be the unruffled, unfeeling cliché she'd always prided herself on appearing to be. By now, she knew it was silly. All of the Bellas knew her game. They knew she wasn't quite as tough as she seemed. They'd seen her through a variety of emotional breaks over the past four years and knew her hard candy coating was simply a thin shell protecting a gooey center. Beca wasn't quite sure why she felt the need to continue the charade. She just felt that she had to.

She thought back to that moment at camp, when she was ready to storm off without a second thought. At the time, moving on really did seem that easy, but it just didn't anymore. And that, she assumed, had mostly to do with Chloe. She'd brushed the redhead off at camp because it was easier than confronting how she really felt. Leaving then, when things were broken, would have been the best time to rip the bandage off. Because now things were messy. Her relationship with all of the Bellas had been renewed. She recognized how these women made her feel: loved, safe, happy. There was perhaps nothing more painful and scary than knowing she'd be abandoning that feeling in favor of… what? She didn't know.

Then there was her relationship with Chloe, which had taken the strangest, most unexpected turn of all. Maybe it shouldn't have been so unexpected. Maybe it should have been painfully obvious that it was Chloe she was ready to walk away from that day. That it was Chloe, and her feelings for the girl, that she had wanted to walk away from. Because the moment they shared in the tent, after Beca had overhead the redhead's conversation with Aubrey, kick started something in Beca. Something she wasn't able to articulate that day, and something she could barely articulate now, but something she was beginning to recognize for what it was. Something like love.

 _Love_. Beca couldn't believe she just thought that. That was cheesy. That was horrible. And that… couldn't be true… could it? She had only had sex with Chloe a handful of times. She couldn't be _in love_ with her. That would be insane. And yet, she did seem to be developing some feelings for the cheerful redhead. Or perhaps she had felt something akin to this all along, from the moment she met the girl at the activities fair, or the moment the girl had intruded on her shower, or the moment the girl had grabbed her hands, pulled her close, and declared that they would be fast friends. Chloe certainly was right about the last part. Despite their differences, the two had become incredibly close almost overnight.

It was weird the way this "experimentation" thing seemed almost like the natural extension of that, of their friendship. Thinking back over it all now, it seemed obvious to Beca. Of course they were going to end up here. _Of fucking course_ they were, sooner or later. Beca wondered for a moment if Chloe had known that all along. How long, exactly, had Chloe been planning this?

Beca's thoughts wandered to Jesse. She wondered how things might have been different, had she not hooked up with him freshman year. It wasn't worth rethinking now, really, and Beca didn't regret even one second of her relationship with the Treble. She had cared deeply for Jesse, she still did. Though even more importantly than that, she recognized now, that she might have gotten lost somewhere along the way without him. She wouldn't be who she was today if it weren't for Jesse. And the Bellas. All of her friends.

Beca found herself once again depressed by the concept of moving on. But change had a way of forcing itself into existence, whether she wanted it to or not. She'd graduated. She was a college graduate. She was a mini adult, and she was about to take on the big bad world, in true Beca Mitchell style. But first, the big bad Worlds, where she and her friends would have one last hoorah, and show everyone just what it means to be a Barden Bella.

The girls took a redeye to Copenhagen. Beca looked toward Chloe, her eyes closed in slumber. She stared at the beauty of Chloe Beale for a long moment, and couldn't stop the goofy smile that spread across her face. Ultimately deciding she was being creepy, Beca gave Chloe's hand a gentle squeeze and looked away.

A quiet voice broke the silence of the dimly lit cabin. "I can feel you staring, Mitchell."

Beca's gaze snapped back to Chloe, whose eyes were still peacefully shut. "Sorry, I-I," she stammered.

Chloe's right eye opened. "I like when you stare," she said matter-of-factly.

Beca swallowed hard as she watched Chloe open her other eye and then sit up in her seat. The redhead's movements were slow and deliberate as she leaned in to Beca's ear, momentarily snaring the lobe between her lips as she dragged a hand up Beca's thigh. "It makes me feel wanted," she breathed. Beca felt Chloe's tongue flick against the shell of her ear. "You do want me, don't you, Becs?"

Chloe's breath felt hot against her, and the combination of it and the impossibly cute nickname made Beca shiver. She let her eyes close when she felt Chloe's mouth connect with the flesh of her neck, just below her ear. Her breath hitched when she once again heard Chloe whisper. "Because I want you, Becs. I always have."

 _Always._

Beca felt Chloe's fingers drag down and then back up her left thigh, but they didn't stop this time. They continued the journey to the apex of her legs, applying pressure to her center through the thin sweats she had worn for comfort on the overnight flight. Beca shifted, letting out a restrained whimper. The plane was filled with people, she quickly realized, including their fellow Bellas. Fingers stroked forcefully before traveling up to the hemline of her pants. It was impossibly hot, but absolutely could _not_ be happening. Beca couldn't allow this. She had to stop it. Chloe's hand slipped effortlessly beneath her sweatpants, scraping down the fabric of her panties. Fingers pressed against her as she heard Chloe groan before nipping at Beca's neck. She tilted her head back, stopping a pathetically weak sound before it left her lips. Then material was pushed aside as Chloe pressed into wet heat.

Beca's chest heaved as her eyes snapped open at the sensation. She visibly flinched when she was met with the sight of Aubrey, peaking over the seat in front of them and slowly licking her lips. "We have," Aubrey husked. "We have always wanted you, Beca."

A panicked confusion rushed through her as she startled awake. She clutched a hand to her chest, heart beating fast, her breathing quick, as she frantically scanned the cabin.

"Beca?"

Her eyes landed on Chloe, seated innocently next to her.

"Are you okay?"

 _A dream_ , Beca realized. _It was just a dream…_ Aubrey wasn't even on this plane. She wouldn't meet up with them in Copenhagen until the next day.

"Uh, yeah. Fine. Just had a weird dream, I guess," she offered, still out of breath. "Are we almost there?"

"20 more minutes," the redhead replied. "You were breathing funny. And the sounds you were making… Seemed more like a nightmare. You sure you're okay?"

"Yeah… I'll be fine."

* * *

In reality, Beca was anything but fine. Memories of the vivid dream continually flashed through her mind as the girls spent the day doing some sight-seeing around Copenhagen. It had felt so real, as real as the wetness that Beca found pooled between her thighs when she woke up. It was so startling, Aubrey's presence in that moment. Beca couldn't stop thinking of the way Dream Aubrey had licked her lips, or the way she sounded when she declared " _we_ have always wanted you."

Is that what was going on here? Were Aubrey and Chloe actually trying to orchestrate some… some sort of… threesome? It actually made a weird sort of sense out of the way those two had been acting these past few weeks… But, nah. Couldn't be. That would be _insane_.

There was one moment that Beca hadn't forgotten, though. One potentially very important moment, she now realized. Beca had seen, or at least felt relatively certain that she had seen, Chloe kissing Aubrey as they departed the Lodge at Fallen Leaves. She'd brushed it off then, assumed it to be a trick of the light, or just a normal, friendly goodbye between the two women, but now she couldn't help but think… maybe she _did_ see what she thought she saw. Maybe that really happened. Maybe Aubrey and Chloe had been intimate with each other all along.

But that was a thought too far for Beca. There was no way that Chloe and Aubrey had been in some sort of relationship this whole time. They were close, sure, but Beca would _know_ if something was going on between them. Or at least one of the Bellas would have known. _Somebody_ would have known. The former co-captains couldn't have been keeping a secret like that. Especially not Chloe, who was practically famous for her inability to keep secrets.

So, like everything else before it, Beca dismissed the thought. The imagery, though, was something she couldn't shake. The dream was at the forefront, but those images were now coupled with thoughts of Aubrey and Chloe kissing, of Beca being in the room to witness it. Beca knew these thoughts were twisted and desperately wanted to rid her mind of them, but it was just so oddly arousing to picture the pair that way. She could feel herself sweating as she walked through the streets of Copenhagen, hand-in-hand with Chloe, trying to take in the sights of a new, foreign city, but mind constantly drifting sideways and into the gutter.

Why was it _so hot_ to think of the blonde and the redhead together? It made no sense. Why were her thoughts locking there, and not on thoughts of her with Chloe? Or even her with Aubrey for that matter? These past weeks, everything had been about her relationship with Chloe, or her relationship with Aubrey. While obviously it existed, Beca hadn't been privy to Aubrey and Chloe's shared connection. In fact, it was their conversations that had Beca most paranoid this whole time. What were they saying to each other about her? She hated that feeling: caring at all about what other people might be saying, or thinking, or feeling about her, but she just couldn't help it.

Surely this twisted curiosity was just some sort of extension of that. She wanted insight into their bond, the same way she had been sharing with Aubrey information about her feelings about Chloe, and about this little experiment.

Still, it felt inappropriate to have these thoughts. Beca felt ashamed and guilty (and eternally grateful that mind reading was a strictly fictional possibility). By the end of the day, she couldn't even look at Chloe without thinking of Aubrey, too, and without feeling extremely turned on.

The girls had previously dropped their bags off at the hotel, but check-in wasn't until 3. She was grateful when they returned after dinner. It was better to be in a private space, Beca thought, even if it wasn't her own personal space. She almost immediately calmed as they entered the hotel, altogether more comfortable with her current aroused state there than she was publicly on the streets of the city.

The girls all checked in without issue, and all agreed it was best to simply turn in for the night. They were exhausted from the trip, and had to be up tomorrow for one last Bellas practice. There would be a rehearsal on stage the following day, and then the performance was that night. Their secret weapon, a horde of former Barden Bellas, were all arriving tomorrow. They'd join rehearsal tomorrow evening, which meant the current group had only a few final hours to spend alone with each other, rehearsing one final time.

The girls paired off, each sharing a room with a fellow Bella. Beca and Chloe were, of course, to share a room. Beca struggled with the key card for a few embarrassing moments before allowing Chloe to swipe hers instead, gaining them access to the room on her first try.

Beca stepped into the room, wheeling her suitcase behind her, when Chloe held the door open for her in a gentlemanly manner. "After you, miss," she'd teased, taking an excessively low bow and gesturing with one arm for Beca to enter. Beca's eyes were still rolling as she took in the room, but she soon stopped short. There was only one bed.

She suddenly felt hands on her shoulders, and hot breath against the back of her right ear. "I thought it'd be more fun this way," Chloe purred.

Beca's muscles tensed. _Fun. Right._

Warm hands left her as Chloe took a step back. "Sorry. Is it… not okay?" The redhead's tone was laced with fear and regret. Beca hated when her voice sounded like that, the heartbroken quality it took. She could practically hear tears welling in her best friend's eyes.

It wasn't that Beca didn't want to share a bed with Chloe. They'd done it before, many times, over the years, but things were different now. And even still, it probably wouldn't have been a big deal if Beca hadn't found herself on the cusp of revelation about how she really felt about the girl, beyond the realm of simple experimentation. But that was exactly where she found herself and the idea of sharing a bed with Chloe made her a little uncomfortable. Rather, it made her a little panicked. A lump formed in her throat that she couldn't swallow down, yet she couldn't bear to hear Chloe's dejected tone, so she opted to assuage it, despite her own fears.

"No. It's fine." She turned in place, releasing the handle of her suitcase to look at Chloe. "It'll be great," she said, forcing a smile.

"Yay!" Chloe cheered, clapping her hands together. In a flurry of movement, the redhead rushed toward the bed, pouncing on it in such a way the left her bobbing after the initial contact. "I call the right side!"

Despite her own nerves, Beca couldn't stop the genuine smile that spread across her face. How could anyone resist Chloe Beale's childlike energy? She was adorable, wholly capable of brightening any room just by being in it.

"Okay, okay," she replied as she moved forward, kneeling down to unzip her suitcase. "Can we unpack first? I'm in desperate need of a shower."

"Oo! Me first!" Chloe squealed. Beca watched as she quickly hopped off the bed and ran to the bathroom. She peaked her head out from behind the door. "You unpack, I'll shower. Then we'll switch." With that, she shut the door and Beca stared at it for a moment, dumbfounded, until she heard the water begin to run. She shook her head as she exhaled and began putting away the clothes she had packed. Where Chloe found her sprightly exuberance, especially after a day as long and exhausting as this one, Beca would never know.

* * *

Beca had brought her pajamas with her into the bathroom after having been caught staring at a towel clad Chloe.

"Like what you see?" Chloe had asked, twirling in place. Beca's cheeks had immediately flushed. She turned her head with a cough, and muttered a quick "uhhh" under her breath before collecting herself and looking back to stare Chloe directly in the eye.

"You finished in there?" she asked, standing and pointing toward the bathroom.

"All yours," Chloe replied as she bent down to pull sleepwear out of her suitcase.

Beca's breath had momentarily hitched in her throat again at the sight, but she shook it off, gathered her clothes and headed into the bathroom.

It was the dream, she silently insisted to herself. It was still getting to her. She couldn't look at Chloe without being reminded of it, reminded of the arousal she had felt, reminded of Aubrey, reminded of Aubrey's words and the way she had licked her lips like she wanted to _devour_ Beca. She tried to focus on literally _anything_ else as she showered, but her thoughts continually drifted back and she was slowly becoming very anxious about the blonde's impending arrival. Beca felt certain that if she couldn't look at Chloe without thinking of Dream Aubrey, then she wouldn't be able to look at Aubrey without thinking of her either.

Beca did her best to push those fears aside, continually reminding herself that it was just a dream and that it didn't _mean_ anything. By the time she had finished washing, got into her PJs, blow dried her hair, and brushed her teeth, she felt much calmer. Those minutes of alone time in the bathroom were precious and soothing.

Chloe was already in bed by the time Beca re-entered the room. The lights had been turned off, save for a lamp on the nightstand on Chloe's side of the bed. The redhead was staring intently at her phone, and didn't immediately notice the younger girl. Beca noted how beautiful her friend looked, legs bent under the covers, knees almost touching her chin. Her red hair blazed with the light from the lamp, and her bright blue eyes shimmered under the glow of her cell phone. Something in Beca's chest tightened, her stomach knotting as she watched Chloe slowly rub her neck with her right hand.

Beca cleared her throat as she crossed the room, making her presence known.

"All clean?" Chloe chirped. Beca nodded, staring down at the floor as she made her way to the far side of the bed. "Want to go to sleep?"

"Yes, please. I'm exhausted," replied Beca as she pulled back the blankets and crawled beneath them.

Chloe reached over and clicked off the lamp after putting her cell on the charger (something Beca had done before she got in the shower). The two laid awkwardly in bed for a moment, several inches of space separating them.

"Well, good night," the brunette finally said, turning onto her left side to face the window, her back to Chloe.

"Yeah, uh… good night."

Beca shut her eyes and tried to focus on the blackness. She tried not to think of Chloe just inches behind her and definitely did her best to ignore the warmth building between her legs at the thought – which she _wasn't_ thinking – of Chloe in bed just inches behind her. Her hips instinctively shifted and her fingers gripped at the pillow beneath her head. There was no way she was going to be able to sleep like this, sharing a bed with her best friend.

"Beca?" she heard a soft voice ask.

Her eyes snapped open as something akin to excitement trilled through her body. She forced herself to respond with a cool, quiet "Mm?"

Chloe's next question was hesitant, her voice sweet sounding. It was the kind of Chloe Beale patented tone that Beca found it impossible to say no to, not that, in this case anyway, she wanted to. "Would it be okay if I, um… can I hold you?"

Beca's muscles reflexively tensed, something in her chest twisting in a not altogether unpleasant manner. She whimpered under her breath, almost silently, and hoped that Chloe didn't hear her. "Um… I guess that'd be okay," she mumbled, heart skipping a beat as the meaning of her own words registered.

She felt Chloe's movement toward her and something rose in her throat that she did her best to swallow back down. She remained still, her breathing momentarily stopped, as she felt Chloe's arm loop around her waist, and then the sensation of the front of the girl's body pressing into her back. It took a moment for Chloe to properly situate herself, and once she had, Beca felt Chloe's hand slither up her shirt ever so slightly, her palm laying to rest just below her belly button. Only then did Beca start breathing again, releasing a loud exhale.

"Is this okay?" Chloe asked sweetly.

Beca's words were caught in her throat, so she opted for a quick nod.

"Good," Chloe said simply. Beca heard the redhead take a deep inhale, nose buried in Beca's still partly damp hair. The hand at her middle squeezed her tightly, hips pressing fleetingly into her backside, and then released with a sigh from the older woman. "Good night, Becs."

Beca could feel her heart pounding in her chest, but did her best not to panic. Instead, she tried to indulge the sensation. It felt good to be held. No, it felt _amazing_. She felt safe, and warm, and loved. She decided to try to embrace the feeling, instead of run from it in a more typical Beca Mitchell fashion. Tonight she was going to simply accept it, enjoy it. "Night, Chlo."

* * *

 _ **A/N:** So close to our girls all being in the same room are the same time! Who's excited? Cause I'm fucking stoked, personally. Hope you all are, too!_


	18. Chapter 18

Beca's eyes fluttered open to a pitch black room. Her first thought was to silently ask herself what time it was, but just as it occurred to her to reach for her phone and check, she heard the sound of Chloe's light snore and quickly forgot about the time. She was reminded, then, of the swell of breasts pressed into her shoulder blades, the light touch of hips against her backside, and the arm draped across her waist. Her breath hitched as she mentally followed the arm to its wrist, then its hand, then its fingers, recognizing that it must have drifted in slumber. The tips of Chloe's fingers now dipped below the waistband of both her shorts and her panties, resting gently against soft skin.

With a nearly silent intake of breath, Beca suddenly realized what must have woke her. She couldn't remember what she'd been dreaming, or if she'd been dreaming at all, but there was a pulsing ache between her legs, a want unrivaled by the day's more mild arousal. Her hips instinctively shifted back into Chloe's, then forward in desperate need of _something_. She whimpered when she was met with nothing. Her brain still felt fuzzy; her eyes closing. Beca was half asleep, and not altogether in control of herself.

Her right arm reached back to tangle into red curls at the older woman's temple. She tugged gently as her lips parted to release a breath of air that carried the girl's name.

She felt Chloe stir just a little, releasing a quiet grunting sound in response.

" _Chloe_ ," she breathed again, her voice more desperate, nearly whining.

"Mm?"

Things were hazy for Beca. She felt almost drunk, and it was that state, honestly, that allowed her to feel comfortable saying what she probably should have said much earlier in the evening, before they had fallen asleep.

"I need you," she begged. Beca's chest pounded as she waited for an answer. She wasn't sure if Chloe had heard her, or if she was even awake, but after a moment of delay Beca felt Chloe's body stiffen, muscles tensing, the fingers dipped below the waistline of her panties flexing straight, causing them to dip just a little further. "Chloe, please."

Beca felt the redhead's other hand move to swipe her hair away, then felt pressure on her pelvis as Chloe moved forward and pressed her lips to the back of Beca's neck with a soft moan. The contact felt good and Beca released a breath as Chloe's tongue pushed flat against her spine. Fingers tangled into brown hair and pulled, her scalp lightly stinging from the effort. A smooth leg slipped between her own, wrapping itself around the one beneath it, quickly followed by the sensation of hips crashing into her backside, Chloe's palm pressing flat against her to force Beca's body impossibly closer.

She felt Chloe exhale a hot breath against her neck. There was a moment of pause, like Chloe was going to say something, but then didn't, opting instead to crane her neck enough to suck at the flesh below Beca's ear. The brunette moaned as teeth pulled at her skin, arm winding around and grabbing a fistful of red hair to hold the girl in place. Beca's hips rocked subconsciously, but Chloe took it as a cue and slid her hand further down. She wasted no time in teasing, instead pressing two fingers firmly against Beca's clit, who hissed as her body writhed in response.

Beca's mind was still a blur. She couldn't be sure if she was awake, or still sleeping. This felt like a dream. Maybe it was a dream? Then again, recognition that this could be a dream was probably a telltale sign that it wasn't.

It didn't matter, and the thoughts were quickly forgotten in favor of focusing on the instinctive squirm of her own body, on Chloe's rhythm, on the feel of the redhead's mouth on her skin. Her tongue was wet, her breath hot. Beca's brow furrowed as she concentrated on the sensation. One hand still twisted in Chloe's hair, the other traveled down and gripped the back of Chloe's, expertly guiding the girl's actions. She held Chloe's hand still as she thrust her hips against the pressure, gradually increasing the pace, grunting something raw and very unladylike at the peak of each movement.

"Beca…" Chloe's voice echoed with something like astonishment, perhaps more like wonder, or true breathlessness. The sound set Beca's brain short circuiting. The thought that she could make the redhead feel _that_ by doing something as simple as _this_ momentarily overwhelmed her. Chloe's free hand danced against the skin of her collarbone beneath the brunette's oversized t-shirt, her touch sending little electric shock waves through Beca's chest as it tightened.

Beca's breath caught in her throat as she prodded Chloe's hand down further, leading the girl's fingers through wet heat, and stopping when they reached her entrance. She removed her hand. "Please, Chlo," she begged. Chloe didn't need any further instruction. Beca inhaled sharply as she felt fingers push inside.

"Is this what you needed?" Chloe whispered, voice gravelly. The sound made Beca weak. Her brow furrowed, her eyes squeezed shut, teeth cutting into her own lip as she felt Chloe's hand pump with a few rough thrusts, thumb pressing tight circles against her. She tried to hold back the whimper that came out sounding more strangled and desperate than if she had just let it go. Something about that made her whimper again, louder and more confident this time, yet somehow still so very pathetic.

Unable to form words, she quickly nodded. Chloe's mouth reconnected with her neck, sucking hard as her hand found its rhythm. Without thinking, Beca's hips matched the pace. There was something about her sleepy state that enhanced every feeling. She felt like she was drowning in the sound of Chloe's breathing, of her own moans. There was an implicit lesson here about letting go. When only half awake, she was free to voice the things she wanted, what she needed, how she felt. Beca wasn't afraid of anything.

"Chloe," she groaned, head twisting into the pillow as she felt herself nearing the edge, but the pulse of the Chloe's movement suddenly faltered. Beca heard a noise escape the redhead's lips. It was a drowsy sort of grunt that let Beca know she was somewhere in between sleep and consciousness herself. Her arousal fell at Chloe's failing and she found herself gasping for breath, unfulfilled.

A manifestation of her frustration left her throat without her permission. Beca bucked her hips, which must have been enough to stir Chloe as her ministrations resumed as before. Beca again reflexively matched pace, her panting breath synchronizing with their shared effort. The earlier tease made it a bit more difficult, but she found herself building again. She reached her hand beneath her shirt to pinch her own nipple gently at first, but with increasing pressure as she felt herself climb higher and higher.

She was close. Her movements became a bit more erratic, even as Chloe maintained her rhythm. Beca felt the tiniest bit more pressure added to her clit, and that was it for her. She felt a flash of clarity burst through her mind's hazy fog like a bright light, and with a hard twist of her own fingers she cried out loudly as she came crashing down.

Chloe remained perfectly still as Beca rode out the feeling, her body quaking with tiny aftershocks. Her breathing began to steady, and her muscles began to relax in a way that made her realize just how tense they must have been when she woke. All at once, Beca felt extraordinarily exhausted, like she wouldn't be able to move even if she tried, sleep once again grabbing hold of her.

She made an attempt at saying Chloe's name, but couldn't be sure if she managed to voice it, or if she just said it aloud in her mind. As she succumbed and drifted off, she could hear the soft sound of the redhead snoring behind her.

* * *

Beca woke the next morning to the sound of Chloe's alarm, the opening, pulsing notes to "Good Day Sunshine" by The Beatles. Chloe had once told Beca that, growing up, her dad had sung it to her every morning as Chloe came downstairs for breakfast. Setting the song as her morning alarm was the first thing Chloe had done when she moved away to Barden University.

As her bedmate began to rustle awake, Beca's brain realized her body's current position. Chloe was still pressed against her, an arm wrapped around Beca's middle. The recognition that she had actually spent the whole night in Chloe's arms dawned on her like the clanging of a gong. It flipped her stomach and quite literally warmed her heart. A rogue thought twirled through her mind, one that strongly suggested that, perhaps, Beca would like to wake up this way every morning, but the brunette was quick to hamper the sentiment.

With a groan, Chloe rolled away from her to shut off the alarm. Beca's eyes flicked opened with unease as she felt the movement beneath her own shorts. Chloe removed her hand and the sound of Beca's waistband snapping made her flinch. She rubbed her lips together, eyes squinting shut as she realized that last night wasn't a dream. Her heart thumped twice loudly as an almost sickly feeling rumbled her stomach.

Beca realized, of course, that at this point it wasn't the act itself that had her concerned. No, it was the feelings that went along with it. What did this mean? Why did being with Chloe feel better than almost anything she'd ever felt before? She tried to remind herself to be cool, but anyone who spent any time with Beca Mitchell was quick to discover just how _uncool_ she really was. She wasn't stupid. She could see herself falling for Chloe, and she was _freaking out_ about it, especially since the second part of that thought was the realization that she was pretty sure she'd been falling for Chloe all along, like probably since freshman year…

"Morning, Becs," came Chloe's sweet voice the moment after the alarm stopped. The girl rolled back toward her, wrapped her arms around her once more, and took a deep breath.

"Morning."

"Sleep well?"

The question was innocent, but Beca's brain was in overdrive and she couldn't stop herself from assuming there was some implication there.

"Yeah," she mumbled. "Fine. You?"

Chloe took another deep breath, releasing it slowly. "Mm. Like a baby." The redhead stretched in a catlike manner as she yawned, then moved to sit at the edge of the bed. "I like holding you," she said plainly, as if it weren't a weird thing to say at all.

But of course it _was_ weird, and Beca didn't know how to respond to it, or to the warm feeling that spread across her chest soon as Chloe said it. Beca watched as the girl stood and ambled toward the bathroom, the warm feeling rising in temperature and beginning to flood her cheeks as well. She couldn't stop it. She smiled.

Chloe turned on her heel just shy of the door. "And fucking you in the middle of the night?" she started, gesturing nonchalantly with her right hand. " _That_ was aca-awesome."

Embarrassment rushed through Beca and she groaned, pulling the covers up and over her head as she listened to Chloe's delighted giggles. Beca stayed in her blanket cocoon even after she heard the bathroom door open and shut.

Chloe was right, though. Beca was willing to admit it to herself. She just didn't want to admit it out loud. After spending the day imagining Aubrey and Chloe together, the relief the redhead gave her last night was so desperately needed it was practically necessary.

 _Aubrey_. _Shit_.

The blonde was arriving tonight, and Beca felt conflicted about it. She wanted to see Aubrey. She… missed her, which was a strange sort of thought to have, but she allowed herself to have it, reminding herself that she'd grown rather close to Aubrey over the past weeks. More than that, though, Beca wanted to talk to the older woman about the slow comprehension of the feelings she had for Chloe. She needed to talk to _someone_ about it, anyway. Jesse still wasn't an option. She _had_ to talk to Aubrey.

There was a part of her brain, too – a part Beca deemed far too twisted and wholly idiotic – that wanted to tell Aubrey about the dream she had on the airplane. It was odd, but she felt like she owed it to Aubrey, in a way, to admit to her that, at the very least, her subconscious mind was… well, _thinking_ about her. Beca wanted to tell her that she had fantasized about her and Chloe kissing, that she had enjoyed the thought, that it had aroused her, if for no other reason than to simply hear Aubrey tell her it was _okay_ to have those sorts of thoughts.

But Beca already knew that, she supposed. Aubrey had already told her that, before Beca had ever thought about it at all. So she already knew Aubrey would only repeat her earlier claim.

That realization made Beca wonder why Aubrey had given her permission in the first place. It was almost like a self-fulfilling prophecy; like knowing she had the freedom to do so is what made Beca have those thoughts at all.

Perhaps that was all it was. Aubrey had planted the thought in her head, and so her unconscious had forced that dream upon her. It was only natural that she would then dwell on it. It was new. It was out of the ordinary. Her brain had to make sense of it somehow.

She heard Chloe emerge from the bathroom then. "Come on, sleepyhead," Chloe chirped in a voice much, _much_ too chipper for this early in the morning. "You've got to get up. We've got one last rehearsal."


	19. Chapter 19

_**A/N** : This chapter gave me a bit of trouble, but it contains the scene that inspired me to write this fic in the first place, and so I am very, very excited to share it with you all._

* * *

The Bellas' final rehearsal was surreal. They all needed to focus in order to put the finishing touches on their set, but it was clear that each girls' mind was otherwise occupied. Even Beca could feel time slipping through her fingers. This was it, the last substantial amount of time these girls would ever spend together as a group. Beca knew that, and it was clear that the rest of the Bellas were distracted by the thought, too. Well, all except Chloe, who seemed to be channeling her fear of the future into a particularly crazed and fierce captainship.

"Um, Chloe?" Beca asked as the group finished running the set for a fourth time. The gruff scowl gracing her friend's face caused her to hesitate for a moment, but she pressed on. "Can I, like, talk to you for a second?"

"Sure. Fine."

Beca could feel Chloe following closely behind her as she walked toward to corner of the hotel conference room space they had reserved for the day. She turned to face Chloe, her tone conveying her seriousness. "You need to cool it."

"What?" Chloe sounded indignant, like she had no idea what Beca was talking about.

"We've clearly all got other things on our mind," she calmly explained. She watched as Chloe crossed her arms, eyes flickering up to the ceiling before staring back at Beca. "Maybe we should call it early. Go have lunch." The look on the redhead's face strongly suggested that she wasn't in favor of this idea, but Beca continued anyway. "This is _our last rehearsal together_ ," she said, carefully emphasizing each word. It wasn't like Beca to be sentimental, but this was important. The group needed the break. They weren't accomplishing anything, and her co-captain was pushing them too hard. And really, Chloe was the biggest mess of all. She needed to walk away right now more than anyone else, and Beca knew that. She just hoped somewhere beneath all that frantic energy that Chloe knew it too.

"All the more reason to keep rehearsing," Chloe was quick to retort. "If we're gonna beat DSM, we—"

"Chlo," she interrupted, placing a hand on the other woman's shoulder. "They're ready. We're ready. Let's just enjoy some time together before the alums arrive…"

Chloe huffed, looking once again toward the ceiling. "Fine," she said, after a long pause, holding up her hands in defeat. "Whatever."

Bright blue eyes once again connected with hers, an intensity flaring within, but behind that Beca could see fear, could see pain. But she could also see love. She knew it was there in the same way she knew the sun would always rise in the east. In a move uncharacteristic of her, she stepped forward and hugged Chloe, wrapping her arms tightly around the girl's shoulders. She ran a hand down red hair as she felt the girl reciprocate the gesture.

Then without thinking, without hesitation, and without consideration of any consequences, she whispered softly, "I love you."

All of the muscles in her body instantly clenched as she heard the words come out of her mouth. It wasn't like it was something she hadn't said to Chloe before, but the circumstances had changed. Of course, she'd always meant them, but from the sound of them alone, Beca knew that she meant those words differently now than she had in the past. Just like that, the slow recognition of her own feelings came to what was honestly, to Beca, an unbelievable, totally preposterous conclusion.

She released her friend, took a step back, and cleared her throat. Maybe Chloe wouldn't notice the difference. Maybe she wouldn't think anything of it. She looked up at Chloe with a slow sort of uncertainty, afraid of what she might find when she did.

What she saw surprised her. Chloe's anger had vacated. The tension within had completely dissipated. She was grinning like an idiot, her vibrant eyes positively shining. There was nothing severe, or contemplative about the way Chloe looked, which is what Beca had feared most: that Chloe would hear it too seriously, that she'd be looking at Beca with a mushy sort of understanding. But no. Chloe looked simply as she always did when she was genuinely happy. She wasn't affected. She was just her typical, bubbly self.

Beca felt relief as she realized what she had said was not the wrong thing, but, in fact, the totally right thing to say in that moment. It turned an agitated Chloe into gleeful Chloe, the Chloe she, well… _loved_ , most of all. And so Beca smiled back, something toothy and adorable.

"Awww," Chloe squealed, "love you, too, Becs!"

The brunette stood smiling for what was probably a too long moment. She couldn't help it. Her chest felt warm, her cheeks aching from the mere width of her grin. She felt almost embarrassed, but so… well, just _happy_. Beca wasn't sure she'd ever felt _this_ happy in all her life.

"Is this Bloe moment over yet?" Amy's voice suddenly rang out. "Or do we need to leave you alone for a while?"

Beca rolled her eyes, still smiling, then began walking back toward the other girls, Chloe practically skipping behind her.

They ended rehearsal and together the group went out for a long lunch, which included a cocktail or two. It was nice to simply enjoy the last moments of their limited time together, instead of all the intensity that sometimes came with more stressful Bellas rehearsals.

"We're gonna kick some DSM ass tomorrow night," Stacie said as she sipped her second vodka tonic.

"Um, heck yeah we are," agreed Amy, raising her glass. The rest of the girls followed suit and looked toward their co-captains for the final word. Chloe was seated at the head of the table, and so Beca, seated to her right, deferred. She looked to Chloe with a smile, knowing, of course, that she wouldn't have known the right thing to say anyway.

"To Bella sisterhood," Chloe said, staring directly into Beca's eyes before turning her gaze on the rest of the table.

The girls all responded in unison. "To Bella sisterhood!"

"Cheers," said Beca, clinking her glass against Chloe's. She shook her head with an embarrassed chuckle when Chloe winked back at her, then finished off the rest of her drink.

The toast was simple, sure, but it was the final bit of motivation the group needed. It was a reminder of why they were here, an urge to save an institution they'd be a part of forever, and a reminder to look back at those who had gone before them, those who would be arriving in just a few short hours.

"Aubrey!" Beca turned to look as Chloe sprinted with unprecedented speed toward the woman who had just entered the conference room, saw Chloe lunge toward her, wrapping Aubrey into a tight embrace, watched as Chloe pressed loud, smacking kisses all over her face. "I missed you!"

Aubrey smiled and held back a giggle. "I've missed you, too, Chlo."

The rest of the girls rushed toward Aubrey, but Beca hung back, folding her arms across her chest. She swallowed hard, the image of Dream Aubrey licking her lips lighting up her memory. Beca watched as Chloe slipped out of Aubrey's arms, dragging her fingers, slowly it seemed, across both sides of Aubrey's neck as she took a step back to allow the other Bellas a moment with their former captain. Beca's heart beat fast as she imagined a flash of skin, heard the blended sound of two breathy moans. She felt dizzy. She shook the thoughts from her mind and refocused her attention on the room, catching sight of Chloe who was standing aside from the excited group of women surrounding Aubrey. She saw the flush of Chloe's cheeks and reached up to touch her own, worried that her body may have betrayed her. Her skin felt hot, but she tried not to worry. She knew that would only make it worse. Chloe's downcast eyes looked up and met Beca's, a warm smile spreading across her face. Chloe's eyes flickered toward Aubrey, then back to Beca as the smile grew wider.

Beca's chest felt suddenly warm and she was unable to stop herself from returning the grin. She saw movement in her periphery and broke eye contact with Chloe in favor of watching Aubrey step away from the pack and toward Beca.

"What? I don't get a greeting from you?"

Beca stood firm, arms still crossed, shaking her head with a teasing, insolent smirk. Aubrey continued to walk toward her, pressing a hand to her chest with an over exaggerated scoff as she looked back toward the other girls in disbelief.

"Really, Beca, after all I've done for you…"

Aubrey was quickly approaching Beca's personal bubble and she was beginning to panic. Her eyes frantically searched the room, stopping on a shrugging Chloe who shared no bit of sympathy and simply nodded with eyebrows raised. Beca looked back and was now face to face with Aubrey. Her eyes darted to her lips for a moment too long, remembering the dream, remembering her thoughts. When she looked back in Aubrey's eyes, the girl was smirking rather proudly. The look infuriated her in its condescension, and its presumption, and yet it made her absolutely _weak_. She swallowed a whimper before the woman moved to hug her.

"And all I might do for you in the future," she whispered into Beca's ear as she pulled her close. Beca wasn't sure what she meant by that, could only assume she was referencing all the guidance Aubrey had given regarding her evolving friendship with Chloe, and yet the tone of her voice was dripping with something else and was, at the very least, suggestive. Beca's muscles tightened, her frenzied brain counting all of the points of contact between her body and Aubrey's at this exact moment. She hadn't unfurled her own arms, and her left index finger was pressed against the underside of Aubrey's breast.

She told herself that she shouldn't be noticing something like that. It was just a hug, like any other. She was making it weird. _Just hug back like a fucking normal person, you idiot!_

For once, her body listened to her. She slid her arms from between them and wrapped them around Aubrey, gently hugging the girl back.

"That's a good girl."

Heat shot through Beca at the praise and she immediately pulled back from the embrace. It was too much. She took a step back, crossing her arms once more, and did her best to ignore it.

"Yeah, uh, it's good to see you, too, Aubrey." There was an awkward moment of silence as Beca stared down at her shoes. She looked up when she sensed the rest of the Bellas moving toward them, her eyes caught a moment on a grinning Chloe Beale, then flickered back to Aubrey's face. She was smiling. It was sweet and genuine, but also knowing. Beca reached an arm behind her to rub at the back of her neck. "Thanks for, like, doing this. For being here."

"Of course," Aubrey said, the rest of the group joining them. "Anything for the Bellas."

They began rehearsal, the rest of the former Bellas trickling in as they arrived at the hotel. Everything was going according to plan. It wasn't terribly complicated, what had to be taught to the past generations, but they picked up on it quickly and Beca was more than satisfied with the results. The set was going to be aca-awesome. She felt pumped. She felt ready, and she could tell the rest of the group did, too.

They broke from rehearsal just before 9:00pm, and the women went their separate ways. Many of those who just arrived headed straight to their rooms to combat the jet lag. Others dispersed for a late dinner. There would be a team brunch tomorrow before the final rehearsal on stage, so no one felt obligated to spend time together tonight.

Stacie was insistent that Beca go out for dinner with only her. It was a sort of weird proposition, but she agreed, knowing that Chloe would probably like to spend some alone time with Aubrey. She usually did, whenever Aubrey came for a visit. She didn't think things would be any different just because they were in Copenhagen.

They had just ordered, seated in the back of a dimly lit restaurant. Beca was sipping a glass of water when Stacie asked the question. It surprised Beca, caught her off guard, even though it was something she'd been worrying would happen since day one.

"So, what's going on with you and Chloe?"

Stacie asked the question so casually that Beca nearly spit out her drink. "N-nothing," she sputtered.

"Come on, Beca. I'm not blind," said Stacie.

Beca's mind raced, cycling through all of the options she had to respond to this unsolicited line of inquiry. There were a number of possibilities, but the first decision was whether to tell the truth, or to deny everything.

"I don't know what you're talking about." _Fuck_. She didn't even sound convincing to herself.

"Do you think I'm an idiot?"

Beca was nervous, and her reply came out as more of a question. "No?"

"So tell me what's going on then."

Beca took a deep breath. There was no way she was getting out of this. So why bother? It would be good to be able to talk to someone other than Aubrey.

"Fine," she said. "Chloe and I… we've been, uh… we've been… _experimenting_."

Stacie swallowed a laugh. "What does that even mean? _Experimenting_? Experimenting with what?"

It felt a bit like Stacie was mocking her – even though she knew the girl meant well – and something about that could have shut Beca down, but it fueled her instead, dissipated – at least momentarily – the fear that was holding her back. "With each other!" she countered, a bit too loudly.

"Oh my God, are you twelve?" Stacie jeered. She couldn't stop her laugh then, and Beca felt her face go red with a mix of embarrassment and outrage.

"Shut up!" she yelled. But as she watched Stacie in stiches, she couldn't help but laugh herself. It came on slowly, but built into something loud and full-bellied. Stacie cleared a tear from her eye as the pair quieted. It felt good to laugh, Beca realized. This thing had potentially life changing repercussions, and yet, Beca had still been taking it much, _much_ too seriously. All Stacie had to do was crack a joke to make Beca appreciate how ridiculous she was being.

"Okay, so, you're fucking your co-captain—"

"Hey!"

"What? Did I misspeak? Are you _not_ fucking your co-captain?"

Beca gave an exaggerated eye roll, and struggled to find an answer to that question. She was. Of course she was, so why did she have such an objection to the implication? Surely not just because it was crass. She took a breath. "I mean, I am. _We_ are." Stacie raised a curious eyebrow. "But it's… it's more than just that."

"More?"

Everything was coming to a head in this moment. Beca wanted to talk to someone about this. She really did, and so she was grateful that Stacie sort of just fell in her lap this way. She wanted to be honest, and yet, Beca didn't know what to say without sounding stupid. "Yeah," she answered.

Stacie paused, chewed on that for a long moment. When she spoke again, her tone had completely shifted. Her voice was quieter. She wasn't laughing. She was serious, and empathetic. She knew what Beca meant. "Do you… want to talk about it?"

Beca was grateful for Stacie's intuition. She didn't really know how to explain herself, but was now assured that she wouldn't have to. She wouldn't have to put words to the way she felt when she was around Chloe, how just _looking_ at the girl made her chest ache, and tugged the corners of her mouth into a smile that made her feel dizzy. "Kind of," she said.

Without properly acknowledging the thing – because Stacie clearly understood already – Beca spoke of how it made her feel. She did her best to articulate her fears, her reservations, why she was nervous and not excited. Her time at Barden was officially over. She didn't know where to turn next, or how Chloe fit in, or didn't fit in, to that picture.

"What about LA?" asked Stacie. "What about Jesse?"

Beca was a bit confused by the question. All the Bellas knew that she and Jesse had broken up. Beca never explained the potential for reunion. How could she be asking about him?

"I'm not sure what you mean." If she did suspect the pair might reunite, it must have been Stacie's natural instinct for this sort of thing. But was Beca really that transparent? Though if Stacie had a sixth sense about her and Chloe – something Beca was actively trying to hide – then it stood to reason that she'd known that her relationship with Jesse had the chance for revival.

"Well, he's coming here tomorrow, isn't he?"

"Uh – not that I'm aware of." Her disbelief was evident. If this was true, she certainly had no knowledge of it.

"Oh – I mean… I thought… you knew? Legacy told me. He's coming with Benji. I thought maybe you two were—uh, sorry. Wrong tree, I guess."

Why wouldn't Jesse have told her he was coming? Was he trying to surprise her? Or did he intend to ignore her? It'd been a while since they talked. She didn't know exactly where Jesse stood, how he was feeling about this whole… thing. Tomorrow's performance already had her on edge, pile on all this confusion about Chloe, and Beca really, _really_ didn't need one more thing to worry about.

"I didn't know he was coming." That was all she said, her voice tinged with something reminiscent of sadness, a signal that she had nothing more to say, and didn't want to dwell on the matter. Ever intuitive Stacie picked up on the cue, and abruptly shifted the conversation.

"And what about Aubrey?"

Beca froze as panic took a rough hold on her. She wasn't sure what Stacie's implication was. The question sounded innocent enough. But why would she be asking about Aubrey if she didn't also sense that Beca was working through her own feelings about the blonde, too? Just as she was trying to formulate a cohesive response, the waiter returned with their meals. Beca was grateful for the extra moments of silence, the chance to think before she spoke.

"What about her?" she asked, picking up her fork as the waiter departed. The extra time hadn't helped her craft an eloquent reply, but it did give her the ability to make her words sound cool and nonchalant. She felt proud of how breezy she seemed, even though the question had absolutely floored her.

"Well, her and Chloe," she said frankly. Stacie looked up into her eyes then and must have seen the horror and confusion Beca was feeling, because she immediately shifted tact. She became a bit anxious, and sounded unsure. These were two words Beca didn't think were even in Stacie's repertoire of emotion before this moment. "I mean… uh… I always thought that _they_ , well… you know."

There was a long moment of silence in which Beca could only blink, dumbfounded by Stacie's conjecture. When Beca didn't reply, Stacie continued, voice losing that momentary hesitancy. "They're awfully close," she said, as a note of evidentiary support. "Don't you think?"

Beca's stomach sank. Her face felt hot, her mind tingling as it tried to work through what Stacie had just said. Her memory flashed to that kiss she was sure she saw outside the bus at the Lodge, the images playing like a flipbook before cycling through a handful of other moments when strange things were said, or whispered, odd instances when Beca observed other unusual things happening between Aubrey and Chloe, moments when they thought they were alone, or in such a large group that it would go unnoticed. But Beca _had_ noticed, and evidently so had Stacie. Beca hadn't made anything of it – though had apparently filed the memories away to access right now – whereas Stacie had exercised a little more suspicion and formed some not altogether illogical conclusions.

She took a bite of her food, rebuilding her cool façade, pretending that she didn't feel sick to her stomach. "Never thought about it," she lied. "But, no. No way. I don't think so at all."

Stacie gave a half-hearted smile and shrugged. They finished their meal in relative quiet, neither breathing another word about it.

Beca was feeling more than a little strange by the time they returned to the hotel. Their imminent Worlds performance was weighing on her, as were all the forms change would take once the performance was over, win or lose. The realization that she had feelings for Chloe – even if she wasn't quite sure what _exactly_ those feelings were, or what they meant – was possibly an even bigger source of crippling anxiety. And apparently Jesse was coming tomorrow, whatever that might mean. To top that off with the suspicion (or something at least resembling suspicion – perhaps paranoia?) Stacie had just bestowed upon her about the nature of Chloe and Aubrey's relationship was honestly just cruel. How could she be expected to function at all under these circumstances?

Chloe was nowhere to be found when Beca returned to their shared hotel room. And Beca was grateful for it – at least for the first few minutes. She needed time away from the girl. She needed time to think. But not fifteen minutes later, she felt her mind consuming her. Her skin felt itchy, like she was literally being eaten alive by her thoughts. She couldn't sit still, kept scratching at the cuticles of her thumbs with the other digits, her foot tapping an erratic rhythm on the floor.

She thought better of being alone. And it was risky, considering the particulars of what was making her feel this level of anxiety, but Beca didn't know what else to do. She took the elevator up two levels and walked frantically to Aubrey's door.

She knocked once, relatively quietly, and stood a long moment to no response before knocking again, a little louder. Beca shifted nervously on the balls of her feet. Aubrey had given her the second key card to her single room earlier that day. The hotel had given her two and Aubrey thought it best someone else hang onto the second one, just in case she somehow locked herself out of the room. Beca hadn't thought much of it when Aubrey handed it to her with a wink. After all, that was the quintessential Aubrey Posen: always prepared, always with a backup plan. "You know," she had said, "in case of an emergency."

Beca now debated the ethics of using the card to enter Aubrey's room without her permission. This wasn't exactly an emergency. But Aubrey _had_ given her the card, after all. Wasn't that permission enough? Driven by an unexpected need to talk to the girl, Beca pulled the card from her back pocket and slid it into the locking mechanism. She heard the click of the lock, saw the flash of the green light, and pressed inside.

She heard movement, like the rustle of blankets, as she entered the dark entryway, the door closing softly behind her. Her ears were assaulted by a grunting, breathy sound as she stepped forward. Beca registered it just as the room came into view.

Her breath stopped. Her chest clenched. Her stomach dropped. She was frozen in place as time momentarily ceased to exist. She stared, eyes wide and mouth agape, at the sight before her.

Aubrey laid naked on the bed, one hand forcefully gripped into her own hair. Her eyes were shut tightly, head tipped to the side, mouth open, moaning, as her bare chest heaved. Beca recognized the distinct look of pleasure furrowing her brow. Fiery red hair caught Beca's eye and her gaze traveled down to the body kneeling between Aubrey's thighs, face pressed against her. She followed the curve of a spine to an uncovered backside perched upon the heels of two bare feet.

Beca couldn't look away. She was altogether mortified and yet somehow she still felt a distinctive tingle between her legs. She knew what that was, knew what was happening, what she had just walked into, and could feel nothing but shocked and disgusted, both with herself, and with the scene playing out before her.

She felt like she was going to be sick. She had to leave, before one of them noticed she was there.

"Beca?!"

 _Fuck._

Aubrey's voice rang out shrill, surprised, and wholly breathless. Beca's eyes flicked up and met hers, a look of panicked fear blinking back at her. She noted a burst of red movement in her periphery, and was met with the concerned, caring crystal blue eyes she'd come to know so well over the past weeks.

"Oh my God…" Unlike Aubrey, Chloe's voice was quiet, almost shy, aimed more toward herself than to Beca. "Beca…"

"What the fuck?!" Beca heard her own voice more than she felt it leave her.

More movement registered then as Chloe shifted, and Aubrey sat up. Beca quickly regained her own ability to move as she saw Chloe begin to get up from the bed. Beca raised both hands up by her ears, felt her face begin to contort into a look of revulsion, of confusion, of pain.

 _Pain_.

It shot into Beca's chest hard and fast. She felt it travel through her, form a lump in her throat, and oh my God, was she going to _cry_ right now? She turned to rush out of the room as soon as she felt the tears prickle, slamming the door behind her, a "Beca, wait!" traveling to her ears a moment too late, and from which woman she couldn't tell. She ran through the corridor to the stairs, flew down them as fast as her feet would carry her, and straight to the hotel entrance, not stopping as she pushed through the glass door and out onto the streets of Copenhagen.

* * *

 _ **A/N:** imsorryimsorryimsorry_


	20. Chapter 20

Beca Mitchell was stupid. She was _so fucking stupid_.

She had only run a couple blocks before she felt certain that no one was following her. She crumpled onto a nearby bench, pressing her face into her hands. Despite not wanting to be followed, she couldn't help but feel bitter that neither Chloe nor Aubrey had come after her. It stung just that much more, like pouring alcohol on an open wound.

 _Stupid…_

How could she not have seen this coming? The thought had _literally_ occurred to her a few days before. Hell, Stacie had literally _told_ her not _an hour_ before. Why did she shrug it off? Why didn't she believe Stacie? Why didn't she trust her own instinct?

But even having had those thoughts, seeing it firsthand, really _seeing_ it, was shocking beyond a level of comprehension. The images were burned into her retinas, the sounds on an incessant loop, like an annoying jingle you can't quit hearing. She tried to think of something else – _anything_ else – but her efforts were futile.

God, how _long_ had this been going on? How long had this been under her nose – under all of the Bellas' noses – without anyone noticing (save for Stacie)? Personal betrayal aside, Beca couldn't help but feel offended on behalf of all of the girls. How could Aubrey and Chloe have _lied_ to them like that?

It just seemed so absurd, like a dream. Or more aptly, like a nightmare, _Beca's_ nightmare.

 _How could Chloe…?_

Beca didn't know what she was supposed to think right now. Her chest ached as tears fell. She furiously wiped them away, _embarrassed_ by their very existence. Ugh – why did she have to be _crying_?

She took a deep breath in an attempt to steady herself, but it was shaky and she released it with a frustrated sigh. She was mad at herself for crying, for caring at all, honestly. How had she let this _thing_ go so far? Why did she freely, _foolishly_ give Chloe – and Aubrey, for that matter – the power to bring her to this very moment, to inflict this sort of damage? She let her guard down. She _allowed_ this to happen.

Beca did her best to shake the cyclical thoughts of self-loathing. They were only going to make her feel worse, and they weren't productive. A quiet, logical voice somewhere deep inside her was telling her that this wasn't her fault. She wasn't sure she believed that, but she tried to focus on it nevertheless. She took another deep breath, a bit less shaky than the last, and released it slowly. Her cheeks were ruddy, but the tears had stopped. She needed to focus. Worlds was tomorrow and that had to be the priority. The very existence of the Barden Bellas was at stake, and that wasn't something Beca Mitchell took lightly. She needed to try to sleep tonight, for the sake of the performance. They'd come so far. She couldn't let the rest of the group down.

But could she really go back to her and Chloe's shared hotel room? What if Chloe was there? Beca tried to be rational. Chloe wasn't a thoughtless person. It stood to reason if neither she nor Aubrey had come after her that the two had probably believed it better to give Beca some space. While they were certainly right about that, for whatever reason, the thought that they hadn't chased after her twisted painfully in her stomach. As she walked back to the hotel, hoping that she wouldn't find the redhead in their room, there was a small, almost unnoticed part of her that wished she _would_.

Summoning all her courage, she slid the key card into the lock and quickly swung the door open. The room was dark as she stepped inside. She flicked on the light. No Chloe. And that tiny bit of hope was quickly snuffed out like the flame of a candle when met with a breath, replaced by a sullen sort of disappointment, the kind of disappointment that made a person wonder why they even bothered with hope at all.

* * *

Her sleep was restless. She'd counted backward from 100 six different times before attempting to count sheep, but the image of the fluffy animals leaping over a white picket fence was replaced repeatedly by the memory of wild red hair between Aubrey's thighs. After several hours of tossing and turning, Beca's brain had finally exhausted itself and sleep begrudgingly found her. She woke the next morning certain she felt more tired than she had before drifting off.

Beca was putting the finishing touches on her eyeliner when she heard the distinctive clicking sound of the lock on the door. She looked up as Chloe Beale stepped into the room, wearing the same clothes she had on yesterday, her hair a tousled mess around her face. Beca quickly looked back to the mirror, completing her task.

"Beca…"

"Don't," she snapped, capping her eyeliner and tossing it into her make-up bag before loudly zipping it shut.

"But Beca, I—"

"Really. Don't," she said a little more forcefully as she grabbed her messenger bag off the bed. Staring down at the floor, she brushed past Chloe and out the door before the redhead could utter another word.

* * *

The meal was going to be an awkward affair. Beca thought she could muddle through it, but hoping to avoid Chloe altogether, she had gotten up earlier than she had to. Being alone in a room with Chloe was certainly not on her to-do list today. Their encounter that morning, though brief, was enough to well up feelings once more. She now found herself in the lobby, just outside the hotel's restaurant where Bellas old and new would soon be meeting for brunch, trying to get a handle on herself. She'd put her headphones on and was blasting music, trying to lose herself in it, doing her best to ignore the aching of her chest and swallow her grief.

 _So what?_

So Chloe and Aubrey were sleeping together. So what? So they had lied to Beca, and presumably to the rest of the Bellas. Who cares? So Chloe wasn't feeling the same sort of feelings that Beca had been feeling. Whatever. It didn't matter. _She_ didn't care.

Her head started to pound as she held back tears. She closed her eyes and focused on the music, always on the music. She let it wash over her, drowning out the sound of everything else.

Time began to lose its meaning as she lay on the lobby sofa, hands crossed over her hips. She wasn't exactly sure how long it had been when she finally opened her eyes and sat up. She took off her headphones, placing them back in her bag. Her eyes flicked back up and Beca watched as the elevator doors opened. Aubrey stepped out. Alone. Without Chloe.

 _So this is how they keep up their lie_ , she thought bitterly.

Aubrey noticed her immediately. Beca tried not to look at her as she crossed the lobby.

"Beca! Hi."

"Hi," Beca said, standing.

"Am I the first one? Did you check in with the hostess yet?"

Beca stared at her blankly, taken aback by Aubrey's typical, cheery demeanor. She couldn't believe Aubrey wasn't acknowledging the elephant in the room. She was acting as though last night hadn't even happened.

"Uh… No. Not yet. Just about to."

"After you then," Aubrey said, gesturing toward the restaurant entrance, "Captain."

It took another long moment for Beca to adjust, but she realized she was actually very grateful for Aubrey's normalcy. It was exactly what she needed. She felt a weight in her stomach suddenly lift. She felt like she could breathe again. Aubrey was smiling at her. Everything was fine. She was going to survive this day.

"Right." Beca quirked her lips into a side smile, raising an eyebrow and giving Aubrey a mock salute before heading into the restaurant. Aubrey followed behind her.

 _This is fine_ , she reminded herself. _Everything is fine._

* * *

And brunch really _was_ fine. Beca was sure to seat herself away from both Chloe and Aubrey. She chatted instead with the women around her, namely Jessica, Ashley, Legacy and her mother. She found she was still having a hard time looking at the redhead without feeling a painful pull in her chest. They didn't speak. They didn't even make eye contact. Beca focused instead on the humiliating stories Legacy's mother was telling about her. It was a welcome distraction, and Legacy's embarrassment was so aca-adorable that Beca could do nothing less than grin through the entire meal. And join in, of course.

"So, rumor has it that Benji's coming today," Beca said pointedly.

Emily's cheeks blushed feverishly red as she looked down at her lap. "Uh…"

"Benji?" Mrs. Junk queried excitedly. "Who's Benji?" Fork and knife still in hand, her eyes landed on her daughter next to her.

"No one, Mom," she cleared her throat, flashing Beca what she guessed was supposed to be an evil glare, but Emily was cute as a button and "evil" wasn't really in her repertoire. "Just a guy. A Treble," she clarified. "He's coming with Beca's ex-boyfriend," she said with a look toward Beca. Okay, maybe a little bit evil…

"Ooh. What's the story there, Becs?"

Something about the nickname coming out of a proper adult's mouth (Beca was, after all, only a mini-adult herself) grated against her ear drums.

"No story. We were together. Now we're not. We're still friends. I didn't even know that he was coming."

Mrs. Junk pondered that for a short moment. "You know… he's coming all this way. That's a pretty grand romantic gesture… you don't think he's trying to tell you something?"

 _Ugh. Parents are the worst. Why didn't they get it?_

Beca laughed. "Uh, no, no. Let's not confuse this. He's coming _with_ Benji. Seems to me someone else is trying to make a grand romantic gesture," she said, looking back at Emily, whose smile suddenly vanished in favor of a look of mortification. Beca gave a smirk. Would the youngest Bella never learn? When you play with fire, you're bound to get burned.

* * *

Beca took a deep breath as she walked across the grassy field toward the stage. The venue was huge. Her stomach flipped as she briefly imagined the area crowded with people. Sure, she had performed in front of the President of the United States, but that didn't mean she was immune to pre-show jitters. After all, that was part of the thrill of performing.

But first thing's first, it was time for dress rehearsal. They checked in for their 2:30pm slot and were directed to their designated pre-show dressing room area, one in a series of white tents set back about 200 feet behind the stage. Beca fished her cell out of her pocket to check the time as she approached. _1:42pm_. They still had almost an hour to kill. All the other Bellas, past and present, settled in, chatting rather loudly amongst themselves.

Beca caught Chloe's eye, but quickly diverted her attention, making a bee line for Stacie instead.

"Hey, Stace," she said, a bit frantically.

"Hey." Stacie looked up at her from her seat and must have noticed the stiffness in her shoulders, or perhaps the look on her face. "You okay, B?"

"Uh – not really. Is, uh… Can you see Chloe? Is she looking over here?" Stacie shifted slightly to peer around Beca.

"Yup," she answered simply.

"Shit."

"And now she's walking over here…"

"Shit. Shit. Shit."

"3…2…1…"

"Hey, Becs," came Chloe's sunny voice from behind. Beca felt every muscle in her body instantly tense at the sound. "Can I talk to you for a sec?"

Chloe was making it sound casual, totally normal, like she wanted to talk captain business, but Beca knew better than that. She knew that wasn't the case. Beca cleared her throat, shifting her weight from one foot to another, hopelessly stalling for even just one moment more. She couldn't exactly say no. She didn't know how to do that with starting something and rousing suspicion among the rest of the girls.

"Sure," she said, pausing another second before turning around. Unable to make eye contact, she stared instead at her shoes. "Should we, uh…" she gestured toward the exit of the tent with her thumb.

She walked until she knew they'd be well out of earshot. Beca could feel Chloe following closely behind. Her mind raced. She didn't want to do this. What was she even supposed to say? This situation was _seriously_ fucked. How was she supposed to say anything at all?

Beca took a deep breath before turning on her heel, facing Chloe with her arms folded across her chest. After a beat, she brought her eyes up to meet Chloe's.

"What?" she asked, thinking her best option was to act immediately defensive. Maybe rudeness would be enough to convince Chloe that whatever she was about to say wasn't worth saying.

"I'm sorry," Chloe said simply, her eyes pleading.

Emotion ripped roughly through Beca. She didn't want to fight with Chloe – or maybe she did – but rudeness morphed into fury as the next words spilled out of her mouth. "You're _sorry_? Are you fucking kidding me?!"

Beca watched as Chloe's gaze faltered. She clearly wasn't expecting this level of anger in Beca's response. When they reconnected, Chloe's eyes were steely, though still apologetic, and maybe a little bit broken.

"Yes, Beca, I'm sorry. Jesus. What do you want me say? I'm sorry that Aubrey and I didn't tell you—"

"That you were _fucking_? Yeah, okay," she said with a scoff.

"That's not—" Chloe's voice cracked and when Beca looked back at her, her eyes were downcast, her shoulders a bit slumped. She looked dejected and defenseless, and Beca's heart ached for her for a brief moment. She wanted to say something that would fix it. And she almost did, but goddamn it, Beca was still angry as hell and she had every right to be. This thing was broken. There was no fixing it. It was forever fractured, like a porcelain figurine carefully glued back together. And it hadn't even been glued yet. Beca wasn't sure it ever would be.

When Chloe looked up again, her eyes were watery – shaking even – her cheeks stained with tears. Something in Beca's chest tugged again as she watched Chloe take a slow, trembling breath.

"Look, I—" Chloe stopped short. "I didn't mean—I just… It wasn't supposed to go like this. I'm _sorry_."

"Yeah? How _was_ it supposed to go? Tell me." Beca waited a moment for a response, but her harsh tone had Chloe crying again, a hand covering her face. "Fuck, Chlo, I-I thought that—I mean, Jesus, I _actually_ —" Her voice was too loud. Not that she could bring herself to finish that thought out loud anyway… "Forget it," she said, more quietly. "I can't handle this. Can we _not_ do this right now? Can we just focus on the performance? Please?" Beca was surprised by how desperate she sounded. It was raw and it was honest. Now was not the time for this.

When Chloe didn't immediately answer, Beca said her name forcefully, but without emotion. "Yeah… yes," Chloe sniffled. "Sorry..."

* * *

The dress rehearsal went off without a hitch. The women all returned to their respective rooms to rest before the final performance. Beca once again found herself alone in her and Chloe's shared room – likely due to the warning glare she had given Chloe on their walk back to the hotel.

She was lying in bed, somewhere between consciousness and dreaming, trying her best to relax and focus her mind on the Bellas set, on the music itself, when there was a knock at her hotel room door. Her eyes flashed open. Who would be knocking? Maybe it was next door. She closed her eyes again and settled back into the bed, but the knock came again a few moments later. This time, she sat up and crept quietly to the door.

"Who is it?" she called, worried it might be a certain redhead.

"I'd tell you, but then I'd have to kill you."

 _Jesse_. She quickly unlocked the door.

"Top Gun. 1986," he said, stepping inside.

Beca would have rolled her eyes, but the moment she saw him she felt overcome with emotion – not a unique experience for the past 18 hours. She rushed toward him, wrapping her arms tightly around his middle as she pressed her face against his chest.

"Hey, hey," he uttered, clearly startled by the display of affection. His hands were held awkwardly in the air until he moved one to gently brush the hair on the back of her head. "What's wrong?"

She took a frantic step back from him, unsure of what had possessed her to do that in the first place. "No, nothing. What makes you think something's wrong?"

He gave her a pointed look.

"What? I haven't seen you in, like, forever. Can't a friend just hug another friend?"

"Not if that friend's Beca Mitchell," he chuckled.

"Shut up." She slapped his shoulder and shook her head exasperatedly as he feigned injury.

"Ow!" Jesse exaggerated, gripping the abused shoulder. "Looks like someone's been eating their spinach."

"You're an idiot," she smiled.

When Jesse finally stopped kidding, he took on a serious tone. "No, for real, though. What's going on?" It was a tone Beca recognized well and knew was pointless to resist. "Is this about the Chloe thing?"

Beca felt a lump rise in her throat. She couldn't lie to him, but could she really talk to him about this?

Beca sighed, her eyes on the floor. "Yeah."

"Do you want to talk about it?" His question was so sincere; it made her feel like crying. Because, yes, she really did need to talk to him and it felt so good to hear him say that. She always needed to talk to him. He was the only person she knew that made any sense. She realized now that she'd been completely lost without him these last few weeks.

"Are you sure?" she asked. "I mean – I know this is – uh… you're sure?"

Jesse smiled sweetly. "Yeah, Becs. I'm sure. What happened?"

* * *

 _ **A/N** : I'm sorry about the delay on this one, and I appreciate your patience. Thanks for sticking with me! Let me know your thoughts by leaving a review, or hitting me up on Tumblr at v3ronica-summ3rs._


	21. Chapter 21

_**A/N:**_ _Honestly, you guys are the absolute best! The amount of love and reviews I got for the last chapter (one I didn't anticipate that kind of reaction to) blew me away. I can't thank you enough for sticking with me on this journey. You guys rock!_

* * *

Beca was proud to have managed to maintain a calm, even tone – despite her fury and disappointment – while Jesse listened silently. He didn't ask questions. He didn't even make affirmative sounds to signal understanding. He just listened, eyes on hers the whole time. There was something soothing, to Beca, about their shared connection. His warm brown eyes were filled with patience and kindness. Everything she needed to hear she could see plainly within them, though they did flicker – presumably in shock – when Beca revealed (in as little detail as possible) what she had seen in Aubrey's hotel room last night.

The two sat contentedly on the bed that Beca and Chloe had shared just two nights ago. Jesse had one leg folded beneath him, while the other dangled carelessly over the edge. Beca's legs were crossed, elbows pressed against the sides of her knees, just a few inches from Jesse. She explained the conversations she had with both Chloe and Aubrey earlier in the day – the stark contrast in the way the two had acted in the wake of last night's incident. Then she gave a long sigh and an unintelligible gesture of her hands to indicate that her tale was finished.

"Wow," was all Jesse had to offer. His tone was indecipherable, his face completely blank. Beca had no idea what to make of the utterance.

"Thanks, dude. Real helpful," she joked sadly, staring down at the space between them.

"Sorry. That's just… a lot to take in," he exhaled, pausing for a moment before his face slowly twisted into a distinct – and almost comical – look of confusion. "So, Aubrey and Chloe… wow."

Beca pressed her lips together, eyes wide and brows raised, as she nodded.

"That's… that's just… _a lot_ ," he repeated. "I mean, they've always been close. But _that_ … that I was _not_ expecting."

"Yeah… me neither…"

Jesse took a breath and seemed to center himself. "Okay so, like, what's the deal here, then? You and Chloe aren't," he hesitated, "like, _together_ , right?"

"No, no," Beca quickly answered. "I haven't even really told her how I've been feeling." _Shit._ She spoke too soon. She shouldn't have said that.

"And… how exactly _have_ you been feeling?" Jesse pried.

 _Shit_.

"I don't know," she groaned, hoping that would suffice, but of course she wasn't that lucky. Jesse blinked back at her. "Come on. You know I'm not good at this stuff."

Jesse barked a laugh. "If that isn't the understatement of the century…" Beca glared at him. "Alright! I guess the question is… do you _want_ to be… _together_ with her?"

Beca took a moment to sincerely contemplate his inquiry. "I don't know," she finally said. "Maybe."

"So… then, this _thing_ that happened. Seeing her with Aubrey. It hurt. Because it hurt seeing Chloe with someone else?" Beca didn't have to think long about Jesse's attempt at clarification to realize that what he said wasn't exactly accurate. It wasn't untrue, but as an explanation it just didn't feel quite right. It didn't fit. It wasn't the _whole_ truth.

It was then that Beca recognized she had left something out of the story, a piece she had assumed was small, but perhaps had more significance.

"But Aubrey…" she said, under her breath, almost too quiet to hear.

"What?"

Beca took a deep breath and started again. She explained how close her and Aubrey had become, all the late night chats, all the advice the blonde had given her. And she sputtered through an attempt at explaining the sexually charged nature of those conversations.

"Wait, wait, wait," Jesse stopped her. "You've been having _phone sex_ with Aubrey?!"

"NO!" she insisted, too loudly. "It's just… I don't know. It's weird… with her…" The look on Jesse's face begged her to continue. "Aubrey just… she's just… really… _interested_ in the Chloe thing."

"Apparently," joked Jesse.

Beca glowered at him. "Stop."

"Sorry." He raised his hands in mock surrender before looking back at her attentively. "So Aubrey's sort of been, like, coaching you?"

"I guess?" Beca shrugged. She honestly wasn't any less confused by the Aubrey situation than he was.

Jesse continued his questions. "And it's been… heated?" He chose the word carefully and Beca appreciated his caution. She looked him directly in the eye as she nodded. Jesse released a breath, breaking their eye contact for a moment. "Okay," he said, returning her gaze. "Like Aubrey's been aroused by it?" He rushed to clarify his question. "By talking to you about it? About you, uh, being with Chloe?"

A sick feeling churned in Beca's stomach. She wasn't sure she should continue this conversation, but Jesse was being thoughtful and sensitive. There was no judgment in his eyes, nor fear, nor disgust. He knew her well enough to know he should be wary with this type of discussion. Beca was like a deer in the woods. Should Jesse move too quickly or too carelessly, she'd bolt. He knew that, and it was nice to be _seen_ that way, to be understood. Beca couldn't deny that this out loud articulation was useful. Jesse was helping her break it down, demystify the circumstances a bit, helping her to make sense of what was happening and how she felt about it. So – perhaps despite her better judgment – she answered. "Yeah… I mean, I think so? Like… that's… what it seemed like…"

Jesse gave a nod of understanding. Relief rushed through Beca. This was going okay.

"And what about you?"

Beca froze as "okay" suddenly shattered. Her stomach dropped. Her body went numb. She stared back at him, unblinking, trying her best to appear as though his words hadn't just made the world suddenly collapse all around her. "Wh-what about me?"

Jesse shot her a knowing look. His mouth opened as if he were about to say something, but no sound came out. As he looked down in defeat, Beca thought – for a brief moment – that she was going to get away with this. She should not have started this conversation with him in the first place. There were things she was barely ready to admit to herself, let alone to another person – even if that person was Jesse. What was she even thinking?

"Come on, Becs…" His dispirited voice gently broke the silence of the room. He still wasn't looking at her, and he said nothing more.

Heaving a sigh, Beca shifted, curling her knees up to her chin, her legs now serving as a protective barrier for the ache in her chest. She didn't know what to say, but knew she had to offer something. Jesse already sounded so disappointed in her. This was a mistake. It was all a mistake. She was now quite painfully aware of that fact.

"What do you want me to say?" She sounded sad – broken even – and yet still somehow so very defensive.

Jesse's eyes were warm when he finally looked back up at her. "You can tell me the truth. It's okay."

The _truth_? Did he honestly expect her to disclose her innermost thoughts about Aubrey? Beca herself had been ignoring them as best she could this whole time. What made him think that she'd even consider confessing those things to him? That – yeah, Chloe had sparked her fire but Aubrey knew just how to fuel it – and alright, _fine_ , as deceived and hurt as she had felt the moment she walked into that hotel room, she also – _somehow_ – felt that fire swell and the _burn_ of it – fuck, the _burn_ of it was just, so _wrong_ and so _painful_. She had been overwhelmed by it.

"I didn't leave right away," Beca offered hastily.

"You…what?" The expression on Jesse's face was enough to let Beca know that she had completely lost him.

"When I… walked in on…" she paused, searching his eyes for understanding. "I didn't leave right away," she repeated.

His silence was deafening. It tore at her heart. She wasn't sure what she wanted Jesse to say and simply couldn't imagine what she might say herself if the situation was reversed, but she desperately needed him to say _something_.

"Oh," he said.

Beca felt something in her chest clench. She felt it coming. But instead of crying, all of her swirling thoughts spilled out of her mouth faster than she could even attempt to stop them. "I'm sick. I know. It's so fucked up. I don't know why… I mean, oh my GOD, right? Like – _what the fuck_?! What is even _HAPPENING_ to me?! Who fucking _does_ that?! It's sick. It's so sick. Like this thing was fucking _horrifying_ , right? And I just couldn't look away. It was like looking at a car wreck… except… except, like, there was something… like, it was… oh my GOD. _Oh my God_!" Her face fell into her hands, muffling her panic. Beca's rambling had only delayed the inevitable, though, as she felt the wetness of her own tears against her palms. She sniffled and released a shaky breath as she felt Jesse's warm hand against her shoulder. Sympathy always had a way of making Beca feel even worse, not better. This was pathetic; _she_ was pathetic.

Beca looked up at him with a sigh. "What's _wrong_ with me?" she asked through tears.

Jesse grabbed her by both shoulders and pulled her to his chest, wrapping his arms tightly around her. "Nothing, Becs," he comforted, stroking her hair as she sobbed. "Absolutely nothing."

* * *

Beca was curled up, practically fetal, on the bed when she heard her phone buzz on the dresser across the room. Jesse had left about 20 minutes ago. The digital clock on the nightstand told her she still had over an hour before she had to be back at the venue for the final performance. She just wanted to be left alone and was considering ignoring whoever was messaging her when a second buzz came in.

With an audible groan, she got up from the bed and padded over to the dresser. It could have to do with Worlds. She knew she couldn't ignore it. But when she picked up her phone and saw two text messages from Aubrey, she froze. Something rose in her throat as she stared at the device. She watched the screen go dark. Should she open them? At the moment she couldn't will her thumb – or any of the rest of her body, for that matter – to move. Aubrey was being totally normal not a few hours before. What could she be texting Beca about now? If the blonde was going to keep pretending that nothing had even happened, then what would she possibly have to say?

There was only one way to find out, Beca knew. She clicked her phone to life as she crawled back onto the bed. Taking a deep breath, she swiped to reveal the messages.

 _I told Chloe to leave you alone. To give you some space._

 _Sorry…_

For a brief, bitter moment, Beca wondered what exactly Aubrey was sorry for. Sorry for fucking Chloe? Sorry for lying to Beca? Sorry for pushing Beca toward Chloe so hard that Beca had finally developed _actual_ feelings for the girl? Or just sorry that Chloe didn't listen to her? Knowing Aubrey as she did, Beca was certain it was the last one. That particular brand of Type A control freak had a nasty habit of apologizing only when she could squarely misplace the blame on someone else. _Sorry that_ Chloe _did this thing to you. I told her not to._

Beca thought that perhaps she should just ignore it, but she also knew that the only way to move past this, which was something Beca desperately wanted – she was tired of thinking about it and sick of feeling like this – then the three of them had to hash this all out, sooner or later. And yet, the Worlds performance was practically upon them. Beca needed to focus. This conversation would have to wait. Beca didn't exactly feel good about that. She'd learned over the past four years that running away was never the right answer, but at the same time she was happy to play the role of the old Beca for a while and refuse to face the problem in front of her for as long as she possibly could.

So Beca put the phone down without responding, closed her eyes and tried to grab onto some semblance of peace.

* * *

The Barden Bellas' performance at Worlds was simply _incredible_. It went exactly as planned and Legacy's song was a hit. The crowd's riotous applause had Beca on cloud nine. She couldn't remember the last time she felt _this_ good.

But the post-performance high came with a price. While the girls were still on stage – the crowd cheering – Chloe grabbed Beca's waist and pulled her close. She allowed it to happen, and in her delirious state, Beca even hugged back. This Beca had completely forgotten how she had been betrayed by the woman she was now holding. This Beca couldn't even remember ever being angry, or hurt. No, this Beca was simply ecstatic and happy to be hugging her best friend, a woman she loved and respected. Beca was proud to be sharing this moment with her co-captain.

Then Beca caught Aubrey's eye. The woman was grinning at her. The smile was sweet, the look thoughtful. Her face practically glowed with joy. There was so much hope there. And Beca couldn't help it, couldn't fight it even if she thought she had reason to – which, for the moment anyway, she truly didn't. Beca smiled back and she watched with a dizzy sort of delight as Aubrey walked toward them.

Chloe noted Aubrey's approach and removed her right arm from Beca, holding it out in gesture for Aubrey to join the embrace, which she did with a girlish giggle, wrapping both arms around Chloe. Aubrey's reach extended past the redhead and Beca nearly laughed as fingers tickled her left side, another hand brushing her lower back.

And for a moment everything was pure bliss. They were all friends. They were hugging. They were happy. It was beautiful, breathtaking perfection. They fit together so effortlessly. Everything felt right, and good. But then the applause began to die down, and Beca watched as Chloe nuzzled her forehead against Aubrey's throat, her eyes closed and a bright smile gracing her lips. Everything began to slow down as the world seemed to spiral. Beca saw Chloe's lips purse and looked on in shock as those lips connected with Aubrey's neck in one gentle kiss. Something jolted through Beca, a shockwave of reality. She was met with soft, loving blue eyes as Chloe turned her head to smile at her. It was in that instant that truth slammed into Beca like a Mack truck. She looked frantically toward Aubrey, but green eyes held the same tenderness. Beca's smile immediately disappeared as her brow furrowed. She stepped quickly away from the two women and watched as all the light Aubrey was radiating slowly dimmed, her face falling. Beca took another step back.

She became fully aware of where they were as the rest of the Bellas began to exit the stage, waving to the crowd. Beca seized her chance. She gave Chloe and Aubrey a few anxious shakes of her head, then rushed offstage with the group.

Beca let out a breath as she stepped down the final step and onto the grass. Her memory of the past 24 hours had returned and her brain was mortified by what she had just allowed to happen. But the strange thing about her current state was that her body hadn't quite caught up yet. Her face was flushed, her chest hot, her abs burning, and as she tried to catch her breath, she found herself once again thinking what she had said to Jesse earlier. _What's wrong with me?_


	22. Chapter 22

_**A/N** : This chapter is dedicated to mi amiga, Andy... for, um, reasons._

* * *

The announcement that they had triumphed at Worlds sent all of the Bellas, past and present, to a nearby bar to celebrate. With the legal drinking age in Copenhagen being only 16, even Legacy got her drink on (with her mother's express permission, of course).

"SWEET VICTORY NEVER TASTED SO GOOD!" Amy hollered, slamming down the now empty glass that had contained a beer she had just chugged in 6 seconds flat. Lily had timed her.

Stacie and Cynthia Rose cheered loudly as most of the rest of the girls clapped. Some of the older Bellas looked on in astonishment. Beca couldn't help but laugh.

Rolling her eyes at the pandemonium, Beca swallowed down the last mouthful of her fourth drink. She felt pretty certain that she'd never been more proud of this group of women than she was in this moment, and there was something sincerely comical about the juxtaposition of that feeling with the raucous festivities with which she was currently surrounded. The girls, of course, deserved to party. They had worked incredibly hard on pulling this off. This was a win they had truly earned, so Beca did her best to remain judgment-free and relish this time with her absolute favorite people on the planet.

At the same time, Beca was painfully aware that they were flying back to the States the next morning. She tried her best to enjoy herself, ignore the ticking of the clock, and made an unlikely promise to herself that she wouldn't be hung over and miserable on tomorrow's – a glance at her cell phone had her correcting herself, _today's_ – flight. As a few of the older Bellas smartly began to disperse, Beca couldn't help but think they had the right idea. As the gathering died down and Beca internally debated whether or not she could rightfully leave as leader of this ragtag team, she noticed both Aubrey and Chloe staring at her from across the bar, where they were seated – perhaps a little too closely – in a corner booth. Beca looked away as soon as she made eye contact, shifting uncomfortably on her stool, but it didn't make much of a difference. She could _feel_ their gaze on her.

So Beca decided that now was the perfect time to make her exit. She got down from her perch and made the rounds, bidding goodnight to the remaining women. Stacie whined as Amy slurred something mostly unintelligible about how this short stack of pancakes was always pooping on the party, but Beca held firm. She was exhausted – both physically and mentally. The day had made her weary and it was time to go. Her stomach clenched as she looked over once more to Chloe and Aubrey. They were the last remaining people she hadn't said good night to and, coward that she was, she opted to just give a nod of her head to the women who were already looking her way. Aubrey returned a soft smile and Chloe wiggled her fingers in a wave, grinning wildly. And with that Beca departed and began the short walk back to the hotel.

She had only made it one block when she felt her phone vibrate in her pocket. She pulled it out to see an incoming text from Chloe.

 ** _We're about to leave, too. We'd like the chance to explain ourselves. Come to Aubrey's room if you feel up to talking?_**

Beca's heart thumped loudly, then stopped altogether as she stared down at the device in her hand. Her mind went strangely blank as her grip tightened. She took a breath and the beat of her heart resumed – a little faster than before – as air rushed through her, thoughts suddenly flooding her mind all at once. She didn't want to do this. She was _afraid_ to do this. But Beca knew she had to and so she fired back a quick response before continuing her walk back to the hotel.

 _Ok._

* * *

About fifteen minutes later, Beca found herself standing outside Aubrey's hotel room door. Her hand was poised to knock, but she couldn't bring herself to do it as she flashed back to the night before, remembering herself standing in exactly the same spot debating whether or not she should barge in unannounced and uninvited. That was a mistake that she could never take back, and a mistake she was paying for now.

Beca collected her thoughts, inhaling deeply before releasing the breath slowly. She knocked twice loudly, then took a step back and waited as patiently as she could, digging a nail sharply into the cuticle of her thumb. Beca heard the turn of the handle and saw the door begin to move in slow motion until Chloe was revealed in baby blue shorts and a white camisole, her hair hanging freely about her face.

"Beca. You came." Chloe sounded relieved as she made room for Beca to enter. Beca stepped into the room without a word. Aubrey was standing next to the bed and looked similarly ready for sleep in a matching satin, black and gold pajama set, her hair down uncharacteristically.

"I'm glad you came," Aubrey offered sweetly, gesturing for Beca to take a seat on the bed.

Beca met Aubrey's gaze with a cold, steely one. She folded her arms across her chest and jutted her hip out. She wanted to be sure it was known that she didn't want to be here. She wanted them to feel like this wasn't worth her time, even though Beca knew that it was, that she needed this conversation just as badly as they did.

"Yeah," Beca said, still not moving to sit. Much to her surprise, Beca watched as Aubrey sighed and softly sat on the edge of the bed, hands pressed between her knees as she stared down at the floor. Beca had never known Aubrey to take the weaker position willingly, to so readily hand over the power to someone else. It was startling, and surprising on a level that Beca couldn't even fully comprehend. But it pleased her to see, and forced an unwanted smirk on her face despite her furrowed brow.

"Look, we're sorry, Beca. We—" Aubrey looked up at her, "we haven't been completely honest with you."

"I'll say," Beca spat sardonically.

Chloe moved to join Aubrey on the bed. Beca watched their thighs brush as Chloe sat.

"Okay, we deserved that," Chloe said sadly.

"You deserve a lot more than that," Beca snarled.

Chloe's bright blue eyes suddenly toughened. She wasn't mad, but she was stern. It was a cautionary look. Beca had seen it a hundred times before. It was a plea for Beca to drop the histrionics and take this seriously. Beca had rarely – perhaps never – ignored that look before and though she desperately wanted to now, she knew Chloe was right. Beca was dragging this out, making this more painful than it needed to be. She recognized her total lack of respect was keeping this dialogue from being a productive one. While she certainly didn't care if she was disrespectful to the two women before her, she did want this to be over as quickly as possible, and so Beca huffed in response and looked back at them expectantly.

"This isn't what we intended," Aubrey began. Beca bit her tongue. "We didn't want you to find out this way."

She knew she shouldn't, but Beca couldn't help herself. "Find out what? That you two have been fucking for God even knows how long?! Or that you two are fucking _liars_ and the world's _biggest_ assholes?!"

Beca could see that her words stung and she felt almost proud of herself. Shameful as it was, Chloe and Aubrey had hurt her in a way she never would have thought possible, and yeah, she wanted them to feel that pain, too. She wanted them to feel as horrible as they were acting. They deserved to, and so Beca felt justified in her remarks.

"We're so sorry," Chloe echoed Aubrey's earlier words. Her voice was just as broken as it had been that afternoon, and the sound of it once again tugged at Beca's heart.

"We care about you, Beca."

Aubrey's voice, however, could never pull at her that way. So Beca plowed right through it. "Yeah, well, you have a really _fucked up_ way of showing it."

Again she saw the ache her words inflicted, and this time Beca didn't feel so good about it. No, this time she started to feel awful, felt that heartache herself, and winced.

"Please, just," Chloe begged, "let us explain."

Beca took a moment to consider this, her gaze flashing between Chloe and Aubrey. They both looked sincere, and genuinely upset. She heaved a loud sigh. "Fine," she said, and sat at the foot of the bed, her back to the other women. She had to listen, but she certainly didn't have to look at them. Beca didn't even know if she could.

She heard Chloe take a deep breath. "Okay, well… I guess we should start with Aubrey and me… we're, uh… we're _together_ … and we've been together for, well… for a while."

Pain pierced Beca's chest, actual, _physical_ pain that lingered there as she continued to listen. She wanted to say something mean, something sarcastic, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. The aching of her chest overwhelmed her, and she couldn't be certain that her voice wouldn't come out splintered if she did attempt to speak. She swallowed hard, staring down at the hideous red carpet covering the hotel room floor.

"And so, at the retreat… when I said—"

Beca's voice surprised even herself. "How long?" she quietly asked.

Chloe was taken aback by the interruption. "What?"

"How long?" Beca asked, a little louder, more aggressively.

Chloe faltered. She started to say something, and then stopped. Aubrey stepped in, her voice gentle. "Three years."

The pain pulsed through Beca. This had been going on basically the whole time she knew them. Chloe hadn't told her; they hadn't told any of the Bellas. Betrayal stung, and Beca found herself blinking back tears. She shouldn't have asked. And yet, she was still glad that Aubrey told her. She said nothing.

There was a long silence as Chloe and Aubrey, presumably, waited for a response. Beca shut her eyes and tried to get control of herself. The silence only served to twist the pain deeper.

When Beca didn't reply, Chloe continued. "At the retreat, when I said I regretted not experimenting more, well… what I meant…" her words were cautious, carefully chosen and delicately delivered. "What I meant was _us_ , the three of us."

A disturbing chill came over Beca as her stomach dropped. It was quickly replaced by a clammy sort of heat that prickled up the back of her neck as she felt beads of sweat form on her forehead. This thought had actually occurred to Beca a few times, but it seemed unreal, and totally impossible. It _couldn't_ have been what Chloe had intended. So to hear Chloe express that it was, in fact, _exactly_ what she had in mind, from the beginning, well… it was, at the very least, disconcerting. Beca felt like she was going to throw up.

Silence again. Beca hated it. She internally debated what she should say, how she should react. Should she just get up and leave right now? Her fingers gripped tightly around the edge of the mattress, her muscles tense, eye shut unbelievably tighter.

Her eyes snapped open as Aubrey began to speak, her voice melodic and smooth, as kind and sympathetic as before, but with a hint of something new… something _suggestive_. Beca recognized it. She sounded exactly the same way she had sounded on the phone when she was _coaching_ her, as Jesse had said, _convincing_ her that this was something that she wanted. And in spite of herself, she found her abs warming, and her face flushing, at the sound of it. "You see, Beca, Chloe… well, she's always had her eye on you, since your initiation night… since the shower… since the activities fair. This is something she's wanted from the very beginning."

Chloe cut in, her voice taking on a more bubbly form of seriousness, a more natural Chloe sound. There was nothing sensual about it, unlike Aubrey's. "But you were with Jesse," she said. "And that was okay. I respected that. But when you weren't anymore, well… We were so close to graduation. It was my last chance… to-to try to explain to you how I've felt all these years. I had to take that chance."

Beca felt her heart flutter at the revelation. Despite the pain she felt, she couldn't help but feel a bit giddy. Chloe _did_ care about her, had cared about her this whole time… and maybe _did_ love Beca, loved her in the way that Beca was only feeling more and more certain that she loved Chloe. She smiled a little to herself.

"We're sorry that we weren't more honest with you," Aubrey offered. "We should have been more up front about this. We know that now. But please understand that we didn't do this to hurt you. We care about you… _deeply_." Aubrey's voice took a low turn. "We want you with us."

Her head was still reeling. This was a lot to take in. There was a large part of her that still felt hurt by their lies, their omissions, their _manipulation_ of her. It made Beca feel sick. But perhaps because she was a little bit drunk, or because she was coming off such a high after winning Worlds and saving the Bellas, there was a growing part of her that couldn't help but feel so… _loved_ by these women. Their words reminded her that Chloe and Aubrey were, first and foremost, her _friends_ and they'd never do anything to intentionally hurt her. It didn't exactly make her hurt any less, but it did, somehow, make her capable, she thought, of forgiveness.

Beca wasn't sure what to say. She had come to Aubrey's room angry. She fully expected to fight with these women, to make known that she had every intention of _never_ pardoning them for the crimes they had so carelessly committed against her. She did not anticipate the swirl of emotions that she was currently feeling, this strange concoction of rage and understanding, pain and forgiveness, hatred and love, disgust and arousal.

It was dizzying. As Beca heard the sound of both women crawling toward her, positioning themselves on either side of her, a new feeling joined the mix: _fear_. It was the sort of fear one feels just before jumping off a high diving board, or when securing one's safety bar on a rollercoaster; a fear fueled by anxious excitement, but fear nevertheless.

This fear had made a statue of Beca. Except for her breathing – which was becoming increasingly heavy – Beca was completely still. On her right side, she felt Chloe's hot breath against her neck. It sent a shiver up her spine as she simultaneously felt Aubrey's against her left ear. She closed her eyes and focused on Aubrey's breath, but another sensation assailed her: the press of Chloe's lips against her shoulder. The kiss was tentative, but Beca soon felt another travel just a hair higher, followed by another, and another, until she felt the gentle touch of Chloe's lips against her bare neck.

Beca couldn't help but sigh. She relaxed into the feeling before she was surprised by the touch of a hand flat against her left thigh, a thumb softly sweeping back and forth. Her brain barely had time to register that the hand belonged to Aubrey before she felt Chloe's lips part against her neck, the girl's tongue hot and wet against her skin. Her left earlobe was ensnared by Aubrey's teeth, pulled lightly before sucking it into her mouth.

Then there was a palm pressing against her abdomen, just below her breasts, and another tightly gripping the hair at the back of her head. Beca was overcome by sensation. She found that she couldn't differentiate one touch from another. With eyes shut, she couldn't be sure who was touching her where. It was a truly _indescribable_ feeling. All of the attention was more than a little pleasant. Alcohol from earlier had her brain rushing to catch up, but for the moment she could just enjoy this feeling, and enjoy it she did.

"You don't always have to be such a good girl, Beca." Aubrey's voice burned against her ear, but it was Chloe who moaned at the sound of it. The vibrations of that sound against her throat sent white heat to Beca's center as her stomach flipped from Aubrey's words. Desire washed over her, and Beca's body moved instinctively. She turned and grabbed Aubrey's face in both her hands, fusing their lips together. Aubrey gave a sharp inhale as Beca licked deeply into her mouth.

Chloe repositioned herself so that Beca was seated between her thighs. She could feel Chloe's chest against her shoulder blades as she nibbled at the back of her neck. Aubrey raised a hand, firmly pressing it against Beca's chest, as Chloe's arm snaked around her middle, fingers grazing the hem of her jean shorts. Beca groaned as those fingers danced dangerously lower, and Aubrey moved to kiss her jawline.

Then all at once, Beca's brain caught up with her. Panicked breathing accompanied the tensing of her muscles. "W-wait, stop" she said. It was quiet and not at all as confident as her frenzied brain intended it to be, but all hands were instantly off of her, both girls shifting their weight away from Beca.

"What's wrong?" Aubrey asked.

"Are you okay?" came Chloe's voice.

Beca swallowed hard. She felt tears forming. She couldn't do this. She tried to speak, but her voice failed her.

"Beca?" Chloe queried, sweet, concerned, and loving.

But all Beca could do was frantically shake her head.

"It's okay. It's going to be okay." It was Aubrey this time, her voice also soft and kind. Beca still hadn't gotten used to hearing that sound.

Fear had overwhelmed excitement. She couldn't go through with this. There was too much going on in her head right now. She couldn't let go. She couldn't give in. Beca recognized for the first time that she so _desperately_ wanted to, but this just wasn't right. It didn't _feel_ right to her.

Beca suddenly stood. "I can't. I'm sorry," she managed to mutter, without looking either woman in the eye. Then she headed for the door without looking back.

* * *

It was no surprise that Beca hardly slept that night, so occupied with trying to make any sense out of what had happened, about what she was feeling. Everything was jumbled, and by the time they left the hotel the next morning, she was still completely overwhelmed. Aubrey and Chloe were careful not to say anything to her on the group van ride to the airport. Beca kept her headphones on and pretended to sleep, trying to get ahold of herself. They were about to board their flight home. Beca was going to be trapped in the air with Chloe and Aubrey for the next 12 hours. 13, really, if you counted the connection they had to make in Amsterdam.

Once they arrived at the airport and were waiting at the gate, Beca realized her ticket had her seated next to Chloe, with Aubrey on the red head's other side. There was no way she could sit next to them for that long, but before Beca could really start to freak out about it, she realized that she could easily trade seats with another Bella. That's what she'd do, and that's what she'd do again when they landed in Amsterdam. It'd be okay.

So as the group boarded the plane, Beca followed closely behind Flo. "Hey, do you mind trading seats with me? I like to be next to a window," she lied.

"In my country, you're lucky if there is even one window in your entire home," said Flo, "but sure. You can have it."

In spite of the guilt trip, Flo acquiesced, taking Beca's seat in the center aisle next to Chloe. Beca popped her carry-on into the overheard compartment and slid into her seat, messenger bag in tow. She refused to look back at Chloe and Aubrey. Beca knew that she would find pain on their faces. She didn't need to see it firsthand. Beca knew she couldn't handle it if she did.

Beca was putting on her headphones when Lily sat down next to her. The girl whispered something about owning a collection of debris she had gathered from plane crashes. Or at least that's what Beca thought she said. She cranked up the volume, leaned her head against the window, closed her eyes and did her best not only to ignore Lily's comment, but to forget about everyone's existence entirely, including her own.

Almost as soon as she had settled herself, though, Beca's phone buzzed in her pocket. It was a good reminder to switch it to airplane mode – something she hadn't done yet – so she retrieved the device, noticing that the notification was a text from Stacie. She swiped right and opened the message.

 ** _What the hell was that?_**

Beca looked across the aisle to Stacie, seated between Amy and Cynthia Rose. She was looking back at Beca, suspicion written all over her face, and mouthed the same message, gesturing a little less than subtlety to the row of seats behind her, where Aubrey, Chloe, and Flo were now seated.

Beca shook her head and mouthed the word "nothing." With a wave of her hand, she resumed her position, but her phone vibrated almost instantly.

 ** _No way. Something happened. And you're telling me the second we land._**

After staring down at the text a moment too long, Beca shut her phone off completely and tossed it into her bag. She wasn't in the mood for this right now, and she knew she wouldn't be in the mood for it later either. With any luck, the plane would crash somewhere in the middle of the Atlantic and she'd never have to think about this again.

* * *

 _ **A/N:** As always, I'd love to hear your thoughts. Leave a review, or hit me up on Tumblr at v3ronica-summ3rs. Have a great weekend, nerds!_


	23. Chapter 23

_**A/N**_ _: Hey there, nerds. Just wanted to write a friendly little reminder to you all. Sometimes you post guest reviews with questions, or other such guest reviews that clearly beg a response. If you're a guest, I can't reply to you! :( But there's a solution. Just pop on over to my Tumblr page (v3ronica-summ3rs) and you can send me anonymous asks that I can respond to, even if you don't have a Tumblr account. Sound good? It makes me sad when I can't properly reply to you nerds. Your thoughts and reviews give me life. Mucho love to each and every one of you._

* * *

Their layover in Amsterdam was only about 45 minutes. There was no time to dilly dally as they disembarked one plane and rushed to find the gate for their connecting flight. Beca was very thankful for this. It meant she didn't have to spend much time dodging Stacie's questioning looks while simultaneously avoiding eye contact with Aubrey and Chloe.

Stacie did, however, corner her in the rest room before their flight back to the States began boarding.

"Tell me what happened," she demanded.

"Nothing happened," insisted Beca.

"Bullshit. Tell me."

Beca wasn't in the mood for this. "No," she said forcefully as she brushed past Stacie toward the exit.

Stacie's voice followed her. "What the fuck, Beca?" She sounded almost hurt, and it stopped Beca in her tracks as she reached for the door. She heaved a sigh and turned to look back over her shoulder.

"Stacie, please. I can't talk about this. Not now." She was quiet, but her tone matched Stacie's in pained timbre. Her observable anguish coupled with the implication that she _might_ be willing to talk about it later seemed to be enough to stop Stacie's persistence.

"Okay," Stacie conceded. Without another word, Beca pushed through the door and back to the waiting area.

Before she even had time to sit, the announcement that their plane would now be boarding rang out. She once again traded seats with Flo in favor of sitting by the window with Lily, instead of with Aubrey and Chloe. She closed her eyes, blasted her music, and did her best to catch up on some of the sleep she had lost the night before.

This whole thing had become such an unbelievable mess that Beca didn't even know where to begin. She was still angry with Aubrey and Chloe, and still believed she had every right to be. What they had done to her over the past few weeks was deplorable. It was manipulative and sneaky. It was the very definition of treachery and Beca was really hurt by it.

That said, they were really and truly honest with her last night, and Beca could even understand why they had lied to her in the first place. This proposition would have freaked her out beyond all reason. There is no way that she would have spent even one second entertaining the idea had they been up front about it. And last night, well, she certainly did entertain the idea… at least for a few minutes.

Horrified as she was by what had happened, Beca was able to recognize and admit – at least silently – that last night's connection with the two women was, well… really, _really_ hot. Her body had enjoyed it before her brain got in the way. She knew now, and could admit freely (at least to herself) that she had feelings for Chloe. She had been very confused about the state of her relationship with Aubrey, and nothing about last night really cleared that up. Beca was pretty sure, though, that it would be unfair to continue to deny the attraction she felt toward Aubrey. Kissing her had been… exhilarating, and gratifying. It felt good, _really_ good, and Beca sort of, maybe, wanted to do it again.

But this was all just _too_ crazy, for Beca. She couldn't do… _that_ with _two women_. She could barely do that with _one_ woman. Hell, she could barely do that with one _man_. Beca was certain she wasn't capable of this. She was nowhere near cool enough to even attempt it. Plus, she was still so _angry_ at Chloe and Aubrey. They certainly didn't _deserve_ her after what they had done, and Beca felt pretty adamant about not giving in. She had to make a point, had to _know_ that they fully understood how _not okay_ their actions had been. She didn't want the ends to justify their means. She wouldn't submit. She couldn't succumb.

But – fuck – did she _want_ to?

Beca was still trying to figure that out – or rather, come to terms with what somewhere deep down she knew was the answer – when they landed safely back in Atlanta and headed home. Beca climbed the stairs to her room, dragging her suitcase behind her. She flopped onto her bed and closed her eyes. A heavy sadness washed over her as she realized what it meant to be back. She had graduated. Worlds was over. This house, this place she had called home for three years, was soon to be home no more. She would have to begin packing tomorrow. In just a few days' time, they would be turning the keys over to Legacy as they all moved out and into the next phase of their lives.

Residual Heat had extended Beca's internship through the summer. She was moving in with her dad for now, to finish that off. She'd originally intended to move to LA at the end of the summer, but now, considering her relationship with Jesse was officially caput, Beca wasn't so sure what she would do when the summer came to an end. Maybe she'd still move to LA. Maybe she'd move somewhere else entirely. She hoped the answer would become apparent by the time her internship officially ended.

Beca's phone vibrated nearby. She picked it up and read the text from Stacie.

 ** _CR went out. Come down to my room. Let's talk about it._**

Beca inhaled deeply. The request strangely did not fluster her, because as she thought about her future, about the next few months of her life, Beca had a crucial realization. It was one of those profound moments where perception shifts to something much clearer. All anyone could do was hope that they would have the right answer when it came time for life to beg an important question, and answers were often found with a little help from friends. Beca didn't need to know right now, but she did need to seek love and guidance from the people she could trust. She needed to listen to their stories to discover answers for herself.

So Beca slowly crept downstairs and gave a soft knock at Stacie's door.

"Come in."

Beca twisted the knob and pushed inside.

"I wasn't sure you'd actually come," Stacie said, sitting up on her bed.

Beca closed the door behind her. "Yeah, well…" She shifted awkwardly, grabbing the elbow of her left arm with her right hand.

"Well, come _in_ , silly. I promise not to bite." Stacie grinned.

"Yeah, I've heard that one before…" joked Beca as she moved toward the bed and took a seat.

"Oh my God, that was _one_ time!"

"Excuse me, _three_ times."

Stacie chuckled loudly. "In fairness, I don't personally recall those other two…"

"Yeah. Tequila might have something to do with that."

"Don't go blaming my best friend, tequila, now. That's just rude."

Both girls laughed, but an uncomfortable silence followed and reminded Beca of why she was here. Their banter suddenly seemed trite, and a little forced. On the one hand, Beca appreciated the attempt at lightening the mood, but on the other, something about it made her feel kind of sick.

"So…" Beca cleared her throat.

Stacie shifted, leaning toward Beca as she spoke. "So, what's going on with Chloe and Aubrey?"

Beca swallowed hard. It was stupid, but the question somehow made her feel like crying. She wasn't sure she could do this.

"Whatever it is, Beca… I promise. It's gonna be okay." Stacie placed a comforting hand on Beca's knee.

She looked down and stared at it for a long, quiet moment, and didn't look up when she finally spoke. "You were right."

Stacie said nothing. Beca wasn't sure if she was waiting for her to elaborate, or if she was simply processing the information. Beca was afraid to look up at her friend, afraid that she would start crying if she did look her in the eye. So silence overwhelmed the room. She shut her eyes tightly and focused on her own breathing. Beca felt Stacie's hand squeeze her knee.

"About Aubrey and Chloe," Beca clarified. "They're, um… you know."

"They're together," Stacie said as she realized what Beca was trying to say.

"Yeah."

"Wow." Her voice was soft, but Stacie sounded genuinely surprised. "I mean, I know that I thought that… but it's something else to, like, _know_ it, you know?"

Head still down and eyes still closed, Beca nodded. Stacie's words had resurfaced images of Chloe between Aubrey's thighs the night she had walked in on them. It hurt all over again, but this time those images were followed by the memory of Aubrey's lips, of Chloe pressed against her back, of the sound of it, of her own feelings in that moment. Something stirred within her. It didn't overshadow her heartache; she instead experienced it concurrently. It was _this_ particular mixture of emotion that Beca couldn't take anymore. It was too toxic. She needed a cure.

"I'm sorry, Beca." Stacie's voice was so sincere and kind. It was a different tone than was characteristic of the girl, who tended to play it cool. It wasn't nonchalant. It wasn't glib. It wasn't flippant. It was serious, and heartfelt. It broke Beca down.

"I just," Beca sniffled. "I _really_ thought that Chloe…" she trailed off. "And Aubrey! God! She'd been so… so… _supportive_. I thought that _they_... you know… Well, then, I guess they _do_ , or at least that's what they said, I think… I don't know…" Beca was rambling now. She knew this wasn't productive. Stacie had no idea what she was talking about. So she took a deep breath and slowed it down, explained to Stacie, as best she could, how she found out, what had happened last night, and what the girls had said to her. Beca tried to be fair and impartial, but she couldn't stop the bitterness that crept into her voice as she rehashed the details.

"You're right to be angry," said Stacie when Beca was finished. "That was _really_ shitty of them. They were manipulative, and they're making it sound like they thought it was in your best interest when it was really in _their own_ best interest."

Beca felt validated by Stacie's comment. She didn't know that affirmation was something she needed to hear, but she realized then that she did. She _wasn't_ crazy. She was _right_. _They_ were wrong. They shouldn't have played her that way. They should have been honest.

"But…" Stacie continued. Beca tensed at the qualifier. "I don't know if that's where your focus should be." She felt herself bristle at the implication, and could tell by the apologetic look on Stacie's face that it was visible.

"Just… hear me out," Stacie entreated. "Their apologies seem genuine. They know they screwed up. And I can tell just from sitting on an airplane with them for 9 hours that they feel _horrible_ about what they've done to you. I'm sure they didn't mean to hurt you."

"But they _did_ ," Beca cut in.

"I know, sweetie, but do you really want to lose them over this?"

Beca hadn't thought about that at all. It never occurred to her, even once, that this could mean the disintegration of their friendship. That wasn't what she wanted. It wasn't what she was trying to do. She was angry. She didn't want to forgive them for this, but she also didn't want them out of her life forever.

"No," answered Beca. "That… well, I didn't realize that was even a possibility."

"Of course it's a possibility. What do you think happens if you _never_ forgive them?"

Beca sat silently. She had no response.

"So what is it that you _do_ want, then?" Stacie continued. "What would be your ideal scenario here?"

Stacie was pulling apart the pieces, just as Aubrey had done, breaking it down so that Beca could rationally consider her options. Stacie was probably the smartest of all of the Bellas, but Beca had never recognized before that she and Aubrey shared this ability: the power to untangle the web, to make sense of the senseless. Beca admired it. Why wasn't she capable of this herself? How could she acquire such a skill?

Perhaps no one was capable of this on their own. Maybe even the smartest, or the most emotional savvy, needed that objective eye to help process things, to filter them into something clear and decipherable. It was possible Beca had even done this herself, unknowingly. The way she had convinced Aubrey slowly over time that their set needed to change in order for them to become National Champions wasn't dissimilar, really. Beca wondered if anyone thought of her as a sounding board, someone to go to in times of crisis, as Beca saw so many of her own friends. Maybe everyone is blind when it comes to their own problems.

"I wish they were up front with me from the beginning."

"Okay, but we can't go back in time. What's done is done. There's no changing it. What do you want _now_?" asked Stacie. She paused for a moment, but when Beca didn't immediately respond, something else seemed to occur to Stacie. "Besides, do you really think – had they been honest at the start – that you would be where you are now?"

Beca furrowed her brow, eyes narrowing. "What do you mean?"

"Look, Beca," Stacie sighed, "you're not saying it, but I can just _tell_ by the way you told that story… You care about them. You wouldn't be so livid if you didn't. I know you're considering it… _being_ with them. That's why you're here." Beca's face slowly twisted into one of shock and indignation. She was about to vehemently deny it, but Stacie didn't leave her the space. "So do you _really_ think that if they had come waltzing up to you and said 'hey Becs, we'd really like to fuck you, you down?' that you would have even for a _second_ taken that seriously? _Actually_ considered it?" She paused briefly, but Beca was too staggered by the fact that Stacie had just said all that – as if it all weren't _totally_ alarming – to form a quick enough response. "No way in hell, Beca Mitchell. Absolutely fucking _not_."

Beca was reeling. She wanted Stacie to just _stop_ , but she didn't. She kept pressing. "But now here you are, sitting next to me, _wanting_ , no, honestly, probably _needing_ Chloe and Aubrey, at this point. Fine. They were manipulative, terrible, whatever. But fuck – I've got to give them credit. I never in a million years would have _ever_ thought it would be possible for you to admit something like this to yourself."

"And maybe you _aren't_ admitting it," Stacie quickly corrected, "but I'm admitting it _for_ you. Because Jesus Christ, Beca. You're scared, and angry, I know… but you _want_ this. It's written all over your face." Stacie took a breath before adding one final, important thought. "And there's absolutely _nothing_ wrong with that."

Beca felt like her head was going to explode. Stacie's words, the way she _said_ them with what felt like a sort of callous disregard for Beca's feelings… She couldn't take it, couldn't stand the very noise of it as it echoed inside of her head. She recognized that Stacie had stopped talking, that the girl was allowing her a moment of quiet to process all of the things she had just accused Beca of, but the silence was incredibly loud. Her eyes screwed shut as she tried to focus, to stop the thoughts from spinning, to grasp the words that she needed to say. Beca felt her heart pounding in her chest and grabbed hold of that feeling, fixated on the powerful, steady pulse of it until it started to slow and calm. Then she heard the sound of her own breath, entering and leaving her body, and she concentrated on that until she felt she could open her eyes and look up at Stacie.

Beca released a loud sigh, then spoke with a clear mind. "I need to know that they're sorry for what they've done. And I need them to promise to never treat me that way again. And if I don't believe them, well… then, it doesn't matter what I want… if I can't trust them."

Stacie gave a sad nod of understanding. "Okay, I think that's fair, but," Beca feared what might come next, "if that's what you need, then you have to tell them that. Give them the chance to prove that to you."

Beca glared at her incredulously. She didn't see why Aubrey and Chloe deserved that courtesy. She opened her mouth to explain that, but Stacie read the thought plainly on her face. "Not for their sake, for _yours_."

Beca scoffed.

"I'm serious! Look, you might not want to hear this… I'm sure you've been stressed since whenever this whole thing started. And I know that I don't know everything that's happened, but…" Stacie took a long pause, as if to stress the importance of what she was about to say next. "But you've been _happier_ these last few weeks, Beca. We've all noticed it. And if _this_ is why?" Beca watched Stacie carefully as she stopped again. Love and sincerity shone in her eyes. The look made her skin itch, but Beca forced herself to maintain eye contact. "Please don't just run away from that."

Something about those words stung in Beca's chest. She looked down at the bed. Of course she was famous for bailing, but actually hearing that her friends thought of her that way – even if she knew they did – well, it still hurt. It wasn't an unreasonable thing to say. In fact, Stacie was probably right to say it. But Beca had changed _a lot_ in her four years at Barden, and it was in moments like this that she worried it would never be enough. She had to try harder, do better.

"I won't," she assured Stacie. "I just need some time."

Stacie's arms quickly wrapped around Beca and pulled her into a hug. Instead of shirking it, and instead of protesting, Beca embraced her friend even harder. It never really got any easier, for Beca. Having friends like this, who loved her, cared about her, wanted her to be happy – she hadn't gotten used to it, and she didn't think she ever would, but it felt _good_. She knew that now more than ever. She was better with them than she was without them.

And Stacie was right; she had been happier. Despite the stress, and the weirdness – her relationship with Chloe, and with Aubrey, had brought a kind of joy and excitement to her life that she couldn't quite describe. Yes, she was mad. Yes, she was hurt. Yes, she was confused, but the delight she had experienced? The love she had felt? That much was certainly clear. The last few weeks had meant something to her. Maybe it couldn't be fixed. Maybe Beca wouldn't find her way back to that feeling, but she wasn't going to forget about it. And she wasn't going to throw it away. She promised herself she was going to _try_.


	24. Chapter 24

_**A/N:** I'm so sorry that it has taken me so long to update this fic! I've been in a bit of a funk, it seems, and writing hasn't been coming very easily. I so appreciate all your kind words and messages, the non-demanding, non-judgmental reminders that you guys love this world I've created and this story I'm writing. I'm so happy that I finally have more of it to share with you. Thank you for your patience, and, as always, for all of your support. It really means the world to me._

* * *

In the past two weeks, Beca had successfully vacated the Bellas house and moved in with her father. She was just beginning to get settled into her new routine, now interning just shy of full time at Residual Heat. She hadn't completely unpacked, as she wasn't sure where she might be in a few months. Besides, her college furnishings, cookware, towels, etc, weren't strictly necessary – nor did they really suit the décor – in her father's home. Those things were all in boxes stacked in the basement.

It was hard not to wonder when she might need them again, and where she might be when she did, but Beca did her best not to dwell on the subject, and to have faith instead that everything would fall into place. With the positive reaction to the track she made with Legacy, Beca found that her passion for and ability to create music had been revitalized, and she spent most of her free time working on new songs. She had made a few tweaks to "Flashlight," under her boss's advisement, and he promised to share the demo with some of his colleagues.

From an outside perspective, Beca was doing everything right. She seemed to have it together, and to be moving forward, striving (perhaps slowly) toward that next step. All of it was good, and Beca felt proud – happy even, but there was a hollow sort of feeling that accompanied her excitement.

She hadn't talked – with the exception of some passing small talk – to Aubrey or Chloe since their return from Copenhagen. Beca thought that was okay. She needed some distance, some breathing room, and she figured that they understood that. After all, they hadn't reached out to her either. And, yes, there was a small, irrational part of her that felt bitter about that – wished they _would_ – but the more reasonable part of her brain reminded her that this was her choice. She could just as easily pick up the phone, and she _knew_ that Aubrey and Chloe were just trying to do the right thing here – giving Beca the space she had thought she needed.

Still, it wouldn't hurt to know that it might be, just a little bit, maybe _killing_ them to stay away from her…

Because maybe they didn't care at all. Maybe they put all the effort they were willing to exert into this thing, and when Beca didn't deliver, they decided to move on, forget about it, forget about _her_. It's not like either of them cared about her the way that, she presumed, they cared about each other… So, if they thought that Beca didn't want this, that it was beyond her, it'd probably be easy for them to just move on with their lives.

And Beca had spared a thought for letting them to do just that. This would allow her to run away without all the hassle of actually running. She'd just let them go. She'd disappear and continue on with her life.

Yes, she had considered it, but she also remembered what she had promised Stacie: that she'd _try_. And that's exactly what she was thinking of when she tapped out a text to Chloe that morning.

 ** _Hey there_**

It wasn't exactly groundbreaking, but it was something. Beca was a little surprised when she didn't get an immediate response, but it was only 7:30am. Maybe Chloe wasn't awake yet. After staring at the phone for several minutes, Beca put it back on the charger and headed for the bathroom. She had to be at Residual Heat by 9:00am, so she did her best to forget about the text as she hopped into the shower and began to get ready for the day.

* * *

"Dad! I'm leaving!" she yelled as she grabbed her cell phone. Beca was running late, as usual, and decided not to chance a glance at her phone's clock, so she wouldn't be reminded of just how late she was.

"There's half a bagel on the counter!" she heard her dad's voice shout back.

"Awesome," she said quietly to herself, her stomach rumbling. "Thanks, Dad!" she called, snagging her keys, and then heading for the kitchen. Beca grabbed the bagel, placing it between her teeth as she pushed open the front door and rushed to her car.

She did her best to ignore the digital clock, but the time shone brightly: 8:41am. She still had to make a stop at Starbucks to pick up coffee for her boss and some key members of the staff (and one for herself, too, of course). There was no way she was going to make it in by 9:00am.

It was 8:52am when she pulled into the Starbucks parking lot. She was grateful to find the place was practically empty – or, at least, there wasn't a line. Maybe there was a God after all, and maybe that God was gracious and didn't absolutely despise Beca.

She placed the order, adding a chocolate croissant for her boss as an apology, hoping it would appease him so he wouldn't lecture her about her tardiness. She pulled her phone out of her pocket and waited. That's when she saw it, the text from Chloe. Beca felt her heart stop, a sudden nauseous feeling overpowering her senses. She thought about ignoring it for now. She had other things to worry about, like just how late she was going to be, but Beca couldn't help herself. She opened the message with a swipe of her thumb.

 _Beca! I've missed you ;)_

A smile played on her face as she read Chloe's text, but after staring at the screen a moment longer than necessary, she quickly dropped the smile and pocketed the device. She tried to pretend not to notice the way her heart jumped at the words, how happy and warm it made her feel, but as she silently considered her response, she was forced to acknowledge the visceral sort of giddiness that was taking over.

This was exactly what Stacie was talking about, Beca realized. This thing – her relationship with Chloe – it brightened her day, lifted her spirits, and otherwise dissolved the chip Beca consistently had on her shoulder. And God, Beca thought, it was just so _stupid_ that something _so_ small, the very simple _existence_ of Chloe Beale, could transform her so much. It was time for her to just fucking _admit_ that to herself already. She needed to stop fighting it, in much the same way that she needed to stop fighting her attraction to Aubrey.

She pulled her phone back out.

 ** _I've missed you too :)_**

The barista called her name just as she sent the message. She once again placed the phone in her pocket, then grabbed the order and hurried back to the car.

It was 9:09am when Beca pulled into the parking lot at Residual Heat. She was late, but as she quickly walked into the office, she noted that her boss hadn't arrived yet. She breathed a sigh, relieved that her delay would go unnoticed. She put the beverages on the counter in the kitchen, then grabbed her boss's coffee, and the chocolate croissant, and brought them to his desk. Beca turned to leave and practically bumped into him as he entered the room.

"Sorry," she sputtered.

"Reggie," he said, drawing his sunglasses up onto his head with a nod of acknowledgement.

She side stepped so he could move into his office, then sped back toward the kitchen to retrieve the rest of the coffees for delivery. As she returned to the main room, she heard her boss holler, mouth clearly full of croissant: "Good work, Reggie!" She smiled to herself as she distributed the rest of the drinks. Beca's boss was an outlandish character. He was indescribably ludicrous, but Beca admired the fact that such goofiness didn't undermine his authority. She wondered how one acquired that level of confidence in their own eccentricity. She could use some of that.

Beca settled into her desk, opening the spreadsheet she had been working on creating which helped catalogue various contacts based on certain projects or albums they had worked on with the company. The development of this system was Beca's idea, and as boring as it sounded, it was one she was particularly proud of. It had already been useful once, and Beca was certain it would prove indispensable in the future, when they were looking to assemble just the right team for a new project.

She sipped coffee as she entered data from hard files into the spreadsheet, but the earlier text exchange with Chloe was nagging at her. She kept glancing down at her phone, which she had placed just left of the keyboard, but so far, nothing. The screen was dark. Chloe hadn't responded. She looked at the computer's clock. It had been almost an hour. Why wasn't Chloe texting her back? Beca's mind raced as she did her best to re-focus on her task.

Beca noticeably flinched when her phone buzzed against the desk. She picked up the device and frantically swiped right and entered her password, revealing Chloe's message.

 _So, how are you?_

Relieved, Beca sent a near immediate response.

 ** _Good. Moved back in with dad. Getting settled. Work's okay. You?_**

She put the phone down, but it vibrated again before she could get back to work on the spreadsheet.

 _Other than missing you, you mean? ;)_

Beca smiled down at her phone. She couldn't help it. The text had spread a comfortable warmth through her chest. She waited patiently as she noted the dots indicating Chloe was still typing.

 _I start teaching in late August, so I'm taking some time to just relax. Moved in with Aubrey. Things are good._

Beca had kind of forgotten that Chloe was moving in with Aubrey. Knowing now that the two were together, Beca realized what a big step that must have been for them. She felt an indescribable twinge, but didn't have time to identify the emotion behind it before Chloe texted again.

 _But they'd be better with you._

Beca felt her cheeks flush. Her heart ached. It was a strange, bittersweet sort of feeling. She was glad to know that Chloe missed her, that she still wanted to be with her on some level, but it hurt at the same time. It made her feel stupid for boxing Chloe out in the first place.

 ** _I know what you mean_** , she replied. And she did; she really did. It wasn't just that she missed her physical relationship with Chloe – though that was certainly true –Beca missed the girl's very presence. She missed the way it felt to simply be in a room with her.

 _Aubrey misses you too…_

Beca's skin tingled as her stomach dropped at the sight of the message. Thinking about Aubrey was so strange. When she had first returned from Copenhagen, she mostly ignored the Aubrey component of this equation. It was just too weird. Beca felt like she couldn't think of Aubrey that way. She'd struggled with the idea over the past couple weeks, until she ultimately came to the realization that Aubrey was actually an integral piece of this fucked up puzzle. There was no Chloe without Aubrey. Once she'd grasped that, she recognized that she had, in fact, already thought of Aubrey _exactly_ that way. At the time, those phone calls with Aubrey had simply confused her. She was too wrapped up in deciphering all the new feelings she was having toward Chloe that she hadn't even _acknowledged_ the fact that she was having new feelings toward Aubrey.

And it was scary, beginning to understand it all now, but that's what the time away had given her. Beca again remembered her promise to Stacie. Terrifying though it was, Beca knew she wanted to try this. So she mustered the courage to text back something difficult to admit, but undeniably true.

 ** _I miss her too_**

Beca released a breath, silently commending herself for such a direct display of honesty. Emotions certainly weren't her forte, nor would they ever be, but if this was what she wanted, she knew she would have to try to do better. She could, at the very least, _pretend_ she was the sort of person who knew how to express herself intelligibly.

 _:) I'm glad to hear that, Beca_

It was kind of stupid, how proud she felt. But it seemed as though she was finally figuring out how to say the right things, and it was gratifying to have such a simple, pleasant, and _authentic_ exchange on the subject of her own feelings.

Maybe it wasn't much, but it was progress. She was glad to have reconnected, and knew now she could move forward at her own pace. Beca felt at ease and in control of herself in a way she realized she hadn't really felt since Chloe's initial proposition. Smiling, Beca put her phone in her bag and refocused on her work.

* * *

Beca had been home a little more than an hour when she got the call from Aubrey. She hadn't been expecting it and was, at first, a bit startled by it. But that initial fear immediately subsided when she heard Aubrey's voice. Beca had missed the sound of it.

 _"_ _Beca!"_

"Hey, Bree." Beca couldn't stop the grin, or the little chuckle that accompanied her greeting.

 _"_ _Chloe told me that you texted her, and I just couldn't help it. I_ had _to call."_ Aubrey paused, her excited tone taking more serious form. _"I've missed talking to you."_

Beca sighed. She felt oddly comforted, and reassured. She hadn't been expecting that hearing those words from Aubrey directly would feel as good as it did. "I know. I've missed talking to you, too."

 _"_ _So, how_ are _you?!"_

She filled Aubrey in on the details of her move, how weird it felt to be, once again, living with her father. She explained that things at work were going well, that she was getting settled into the new routine of her life. Beca told Aubrey how good things were, and left out the part about exactly how much she missed her and Chloe. "What about you?"

In much the same way that Beca had carried on, Aubrey detailed how well things were going at the Lodge. She spoke of a particularly interesting sales team who had recently attended. They were more out of sync than the Bellas could have ever been, Aubrey reported. The work was tough, but she was hopeful that they had left the retreat in a much better place than they had arrived.

"That all sounds great! I'm happy for you."

 _"_ _Thanks,"_ Beca could practically hear the woman's smile on the other end of the phone. But then came a weighted breath that Beca wasn't sure what meant. _"And Chloe…"_ she paused. _"It's been great to have her here with me."_

Aubrey's words didn't sound disingenuous, but they did sound sort of sad and that was certainly significant, evocative even. Beca wanted to question it – to try to understand how it could be remotely possible for someone as bright and cheerful as Chloe to bring anyone down – but she knew it wasn't her place. Beca believed Aubrey was sincerely happy that Chloe had moved in. She didn't doubt that for a second. But the quiet melancholy of the statement did suggest that, perhaps, living with Chloe wasn't quite what Aubrey had anticipated. It seemed as though Aubrey believed she could be happier. But it really wasn't any of Beca's business.

"I'm sure it has been," Beca replied. She realized only after the words had exited her mouth that they sounded sort of sarcastic, like she was mocking Aubrey's rather cliché declaration. They were tinged with something ugly, something that resembled jealousy.

Beca tried not to panic, but the silence kept her brain spiraling with familiar cyclical self-loathing. "Sorry, uh—"

 _"_ _Would you like to go out with us this weekend?"_

Aubrey's words sped out of her mouth so fast that, though she heard them, Beca didn't have time to register their meaning.

"What?" As soon as she had said it, understanding hit, and surprise overwhelmed. She was pretty sure Aubrey had just asked her out.

 _"_ _I asked if you would like to go out with us – with Chloe and me, that is – this weekend?"_

Her suspicion confirmed, Beca's mouth went dry. She knew better than to try to respond quickly, lest her thoughts devolve into an incoherent, sputtering mess. But the quiet felt like pressure, and she couldn't stop the words as they tumbled gracelessly. "Uh – I'm sorry, _what_?!"

Beca heard Aubrey laugh, and she gave a frantic shake of her head. Was her question unwarranted? I mean, this was _crazy_.

 _"_ _God, Mitchell. You're just so adorable sometimes,"_ Aubrey said almost inaudibly, as if saying it more loudly would turn it into an actual admission – like Aubrey was refusing to disclose how cute she thought Beca was when she was flustered. Beca's eyes were wide, and only grew wider as the blonde continued. _"We would like to take you out to dinner."_

"Like, on a date? Like a _date_?"

Aubrey giggled again. _"Come on. I know you're not_ that _dense. Yes,_ on a date _."_ She carefully annunciated each of those last words, and Beca found it condescending at best, like she was slowing things down for Beca's benefit, like she didn't think it was the weirdest ask on the planet, and had absolutely no idea why Beca didn't get it.

It made Beca want to lash out, and she very nearly did, but reminded herself that she didn't want to push Aubrey away, and it was precisely that kind of outburst that would do just that. So she regained some semblance of self-control, took a breath, and kept her cool. "Sure," she said. "I'd love to."

* * *

 ** _A/N:_** _I hope to bring you more sooner rather than later, but I make no promises... Thanks for reading! :)_


	25. Chapter 25

As soon as Beca hung up the phone, all sense of "cool" was completely lost. Her heart raced as her mind reeled. She had just agreed to go on a _date_ with Aubrey _and_ Chloe. Beca had never even gone on a date with _one_ woman (she was pretty sure that all the rolling around she had done with Chloe never quite exactly counted as a "date"), let alone _two_. What was she thinking? How was she ever going to be capable of this?

She didn't even know what a date between three people might look like. The concept was so foreign. How was this ever going to work?

Just before Beca began to properly panic, she, almost subconsciously, simplified the situation. A date was really just an opportunity for people to hang out, with the possibility of romance. And she did want to spend time with Chloe and Aubrey. They were her friends. Of course she wanted to see them. The second part, the romance part, well, they'd kind of already been there. It didn't make any of this a _relationship_ ; the date was really just more of an acknowledgement that Chloe and Aubrey liked Beca, and that Beca liked them. It was just an exploration of what that might mean for all three of them. It was an opportunity to see if it meant anything at all.

Beca took a deep breath and tried to calm down. She reminded herself that she didn't have to do anything she didn't want to, and she trusted that Chloe and Aubrey would be understanding of that. After all, however manipulative they may have been, they were always empathetic and considerate. They had pushed, but never too hard. Every time Beca started to feel uncomfortable, to feel like things had gone too far, they had backed off. Yes, they'd been a bit aggressive, but they were still always thoughtful and supportive. The time she had spent away from them made Beca realize that their pursuit of her hadn't been entirely selfish. They had seen how Beca had enjoyed herself, and wanted to help her to come to terms with that.

Aubrey and Chloe were her friends. There was nothing for Beca to be afraid of. They had rightly believed that Beca had liked the way she felt when she was with Chloe, and that she had valued the sexually charged chats she had with Aubrey. And that moment the three of them shared in the hotel room? Beca had _loved_ that brief encounter. The good feeling had, of course, been fleeting, as her brain quickly got in the way, reminding her of what was "right" and "normal" and "socially acceptable" behavior – but the _good_ feeling was still _good_ , and Beca hadn't forgotten it.

It was going to be fine. As nerves and excitement swirled within her all week, those words became almost a mantra.

It was no surprise that the days that followed all dragged on painfully slowly. Beca was eager for Saturday night's dinner. The waiting was making her even more anxious. While she wanted to see Aubrey and Chloe again, she was perhaps equally (if not more so) ready for Sunday to come. Beca hoped that after the date had ended, she'd feel as though she could move forward, and lose at least some of the unease she'd acquired that night at the Lodge at Fallen Leaves.

Because Beca was, quite frankly, sick of it. She didn't want to feel uncomfortable anymore. She wanted to relax. She wanted to understand everything that was going on – and what it might _mean_ – so that she could learn to simply accept her own feelings and quit worrying about them. She needed to stop judging herself so unfairly for all of her thoughts and resulting emotions. She needed to allow those things to flow freely, and stop trying to end them. And Beca thought that this date would go a long way in helping her come to terms with all of that.

Still, anxiety plagued her over the next several days, and when Saturday finally came, she thought it might consume her altogether. Anticipation made the clock tick slowly. Despite her knowledge that time always moved forward and never back, Beca felt genuinely unsure that dinner would ever come.

She spent an inordinate amount of time getting ready for the date, curling her hair so it fell just right, applying and reapplying her makeup until she was nearly satisfied with it. Beca dressed in black skinny jeans and black heeled boots adorned with silver studs, a sleeveless teal blouse dipping low on her chest. Swaying gently, she looked herself over in the full length mirror hanging from her closet door. She looked good, or, as she silently conceded, as good as she was ever going to, so she snatched her purse from the foot of her bed and headed downstairs.

Beca walked into the kitchen and noticed her father perched at the island, hunched over his laptop. He looked up at her as she entered.

"Wow. Going out?"

"Uh, yeah," she muttered as she grabbed her keys from the counter.

"Well, you look absolutely _beautiful_."

"Yeah, thanks."

Beca was already across the threshold when her father called out after her. "Whoever he is, he's a lucky guy!"

The unique mixture of amusement and mortification that Beca felt at the comment was truly that of which only an oblivious parent could produce. Beca wasn't entirely sure if she should laugh or curl up in a hole to die as she closed the front door behind her and walked to her car.

* * *

Beca's heart thumped in her chest as she approached Chloe and Aubrey's apartment. The complex was really nice. Green grass, beautiful trees, and flowers surrounded brick walkways. Beca had even noticed a community pool and basketball court as she drove into the area. She was certainly impressed, and maybe even a little jealous. While she was saving money by living with her father, Beca didn't really feel very comfortable there. She never had, but she had no concrete plans of getting out. She didn't know how she could, or where she'd go if she did. Beca hated the uncertainty.

But as she stood before Aubrey and Chloe's front door, Beca found herself more uncertain about something much more imminent. She took a deep breath in an attempt settle the twisting sensation in the pit of her stomach, then knocked.

In the brief moments that followed, Beca fantasized about running. She wasn't going to, but she couldn't help but picture it. She wondered if she would ever outgrow this, if she'd ever be able to keep herself from imagining all the self-destructive things she could be doing when faced with any of life's anxiety producing challenges.

Beca heard the sound of someone inside the apartment, then watched the knob twist and the door open to reveal a stunning Aubrey Posen in a light blue sundress with four white buttons down the chest.

Aubrey smiled. "It's so good to see you, Beca."

As she was pulled in for a hug, Beca's body stiffened. She was reminded of phone calls past. What was it about the way Aubrey said her name that sent shivers down her spine? It prompted the image of a vocalist hitting just the right pitch to make glass vibrate, then shatter. The way Aubrey said her name somehow effortlessly struck all the right chords to make Beca weak.

"It's good to see you, too, Bree." Beca hugged back, and over Aubrey's shoulder she noticed Chloe completely unable to contain her bubbly excitement as she practically danced in place. The deep purple shirt hanging from her shoulders flowed around her as her red curls bounced. She looked beautiful, as always, Beca thought.

As soon as Aubrey released her and took a step back, Chloe rushed into Beca's arms. She couldn't help but chuckle as she stumbled backward from the force of Chloe's embrace, holding her tightly in return.

"I've missed you!" Chloe's words were cheerful, yet lined with a sadness of time lost. Beca's eyes flashed between Aubrey and Chloe, both smiling brightly back at her. Beca felt _missed_. She could feel how much they cared about her, and how happy they were to see her. Her cheeks warmed as a smile tugged at the corner of her lips. She blinked as she felt water forming in her eyes, and then immediately shook off the glowing feeling.

"Alright, alright," Beca said, drawing a line on this mushy stuff. "Where are we eating? I'm _starving_."

* * *

The trio was seated at a round table in the corner of an Italian restaurant. A single white candle sat at the center of the table and Beca watched as the candlelight danced across Aubrey and Chloe's faces. In the opposite corner of the room, a lone guitarist softly serenaded the diners.

The ambiance – the dim lighting, the gentle music – served to relax Beca. She felt comfortable casually chatting with her friends, almost forgetting that anything was different between them than it had been only months before. She eagerly soaked up the girls' stories, told some of her own, and laughed uninhibitedly when conversation called for it.

The meal was delicious, and the company exquisite. She couldn't have asked for a more enjoyable dinner. Bearing in mind just how nervous she had been all week, Beca surprised even herself with her uncharacteristic level of calm in the presence of these two women. Something about it just felt right, and so very normal. It wasn't what she had anticipated at all. She feared it would be awkward; that it would be _weird_ , and that she would be feeling nothing but discomfort and apprehension. She never even considered that things might just click.

Beca picked up her glass, swirling her wine before taking a sip. "I swear to God. Couldn't make that shit up if I tried," she giggled. Aubrey and Chloe were mesmerized by her tale. She watched them watch her, warmth flourishing in the bottom of her stomach. Beca's cheeks tinged pink, and she silently wondered if it was the wine, or something else causing her skin to vibrate and her head to spin.

As she recognized the sensation, it felt as though Chloe and Aubrey did too, because there came a sudden silence that the night had not yet heard. Beca swallowed hard as she watched Chloe wet her lips, then inhale a breath as if she were about to say something, but Beca heard Aubrey's voice instead. She refocused her attention on the blonde woman before her.

"Beca, I—" Aubrey stopped herself, heaving a sigh as she looked down at the table. Chloe pressed a hand to the back of Aubrey's shoulder. Beca's eyes flickered to meet Chloe's, who forced a smile through a somber, apologetic expression. Aubrey collected herself and looked back at Beca, her eyes both a little sad and filled with concern. "I don't want to dwell on the past," she said diplomatically, "but I just… have to apologize again. I'm really, _really_ sorry for the way this all played out. I'm sorry that I – that _we_ ," she corrected, "hurt you and made you feel like… like..."

Aubrey struggled to find the right words. Beca wasn't entirely sure she'd ever witnessed that before. It was agonizing to watch Aubrey flounder. Beca's heart ached and she realized that she didn't want any more of this. She didn't want further apology, or explanation. She didn't want any more pain.

Beca reached across the table, covering Aubrey's hand with her own. Aubrey's eyes held a glimmer of tears that Beca needed to stop. She appreciated the sentiment, the care Aubrey had for her, but this was simply no longer necessary. "It's okay, Bree."

"I'm sorry, too," came Chloe's quiet voice. Beca looked over to her, but her eyes were downcast.

Part of Beca was glad that this was still weighing on them, that they still felt the need to apologize to her for what they had done. It meant that they cared. It meant that they knew they were wrong. But, truly, Beca didn't want it to eat away at them any longer. She believed they understood. She believed they were sorry. She was ready to move on from this, and she wanted them to do the same.

"Guys, stop." Aubrey and Chloe looked toward Beca simultaneously. "Listen, I appreciate it. I really do, but I know you're sorry. I get that now."

The sound of a sniffle came from one of them, but Beca wasn't sure which. Both girls smiled. Aubrey's shoulders dropped while Chloe exhaled a loud breath of relief.

"Oh, that's good. That's _really_ good," Chloe practically squealed.

"We were so afraid that you only wanted to see us so you could…" Aubrey paused thoughtfully. "Well, so you could tie up loose ends, or something."

Beca took comfort in the fact that Chloe and Aubrey had been just as nervous about this night as she had been, albeit for very different reasons. It made her feel, somehow, less crazy.

"Well, I guess I sort of did," Beca admitted and she watched as fear flashed across both of their faces. "But not in the way you thought," she quickly corrected. "I just want to finish this part of the story, close the chapter, and start the next one."

Beca spoke clearly and definitively, as though she had rehearsed that – and, well, she _had_ , but she was still proud of herself for actually saying it nevertheless.

"And what happens in the next one?" Chloe's voice was sweet, and though the sparkle in her eyes was suggestive, the inquiry was sincere. Beca's mouth dropped open, but no words formed. She stared back at Chloe for a long moment as her heart began to race.

"I, uh," she muttered, scared, but miraculously didn't break eye contact. "I'm not sure," she said honestly, wincing a bit at the words.

"Look, Beca…" Aubrey said carefully. "I'm not sure we were clear the other night. This isn't just about sex." She whispered the last word. Beca appreciated the discretion. "We don't know what will happen," Aubrey continued, "or how this could work, or what it might look like any more than you do." She sounded just as afraid of the prospect as Beca felt. It made sense. Beca knew Aubrey struggled with life's unknowns just as much as she did.

"But," Chloe added, taking Aubrey's right hand between her own and look intently at Beca, "we want to take the chance."

Chloe smiled softly, and there was something deeply reassuring about it, but Beca's mind was still swimming. This was a lot to take in. She wasn't sure what exactly Chloe and Aubrey wanted from her when she left Copenhagen. It felt, to Beca, like they wanted something more out of this arrangement, but Beca didn't _know_ that, and she had thought it unwise to make that assumption. So hearing it now still came as a bit of a shock.

Though not an altogether _bad_ shock. In fact, as Beca quickly decided, it wasn't even bad _at all_. Her body tingled at this newly confirmed bit of information. Aubrey and Chloe cared about her. They _cared_ about her, in a way that Beca was certain she cared about Chloe, and in a way she was slowly starting to suspect she cared about Aubrey.

And maybe it was the wine (okay, it was probably _definitely_ the wine), but Beca didn't even spare a thought for what was potentially _terrifying_ about that. Instead, her brain honed in on what was delightful about the admission, and chose – at this moment, anyway – to completely ignore all the things that were scary about it.

Beca felt herself blush as she looked down at the table, hands gripping tightly to the edges of her seat. She breathed an uncomfortable laugh, and stumbled over a few attempts at language before she once again found her bearings. "That's uh—that's… really nice to hear," she smiled.

The expression must have been infectious, Beca thought, as she watched dizzying grins spread wide across both Aubrey and Chloe's faces.

* * *

The girls had polished off a second bottle of wine before they finally decided to get an Uber to take them back home. When it arrived, the three of them came to the drunken conclusion that it made the most sense for all of them to pile into the back seat of the sedan. Something about no one wanting to be odd man out up front? It wasn't entirely clear to Beca.

Chloe and Aubrey insisted that since Beca was the smallest, she had to sit in the middle. It wasn't until they were settled and the car was moving that Beca fully realized that she was, once again, positioned between these two women. She felt a lump form in her throat as her body temperature seemed to rise more quickly than she thought was humanly possible. And then Chloe's hand was on her thigh, and Aubrey was threading their fingers together.

The image of an electric current traveling from Chloe, through Beca, and into Aubrey flashed before her. And despite however vague, unsexy, and strangely scientific that seemed, there was something about it that was deeply arousing to Beca, the connection they were all sharing in this moment.

Beca's eyes fluttered shut as she felt Chloe press a kiss to her bare shoulder. She gripped Aubrey's hand before opening her eyes to look down at Chloe's fingers gently stroking the inside of her lower thigh.

A terrified sort of excitement washed over Beca, and she turned her head, lips parted, to meet Chloe's gaze. She found the girl smiling something so adorable and so enticing that Beca was compelled to lean forward and capture Chloe's lips in a chaste kiss.

Chloe grunted as Beca pulled back, a sound that was somehow both indulgent and yet unsatisfied. Beca stared at the flushed skin of Chloe's face for a moment before crystal blue eyes met hers once more. The redhead was practically glowing, and the vision of her had Beca's heart thudding and insides tingling.

Her head began to swirl drunkenly and she pressed it into the back of the seat, shutting her eyes tightly. She kept her eyes closed for the remainder of the short ride, enjoying the continuing sensation of feather light touches and soft kisses on her exposed arms and face coming from the women on either side of her.

Time felt messy and moved strangely, but when Beca sensed the car stop and heard the distinct sound of the car doors unlocking, she opened her eyes. Fingers still locked, Aubrey helped pull her out of the car as Chloe exited on the opposite side. They thanked the driver and proceeded to walk toward the front door of Aubrey and Chloe's unit.

It was only as they were walking – the world still slightly spinning – that Beca realized the mistake that she had made. She hadn't really thought this through. She couldn't drive back home in her current state. It probably would have been in her better interest to have taken a separate Uber back home to her father's house from the restaurant, but she simply hadn't thought of it.

"I, uh… probably shouldn't drive…" Beca said.

"You definitely shouldn't drive," Chloe corrected, with a final skip to the door.

The three women stood a bit awkwardly for a moment, and Beca looked down at the hand that was still clutched in Aubrey's.

"Do you want to come inside?" asked Aubrey.

Her green eyes spoke volumes as Beca peered into them. She shouldn't have been as surprised by the invitation as she was, but she genuinely wasn't expecting this. And that made her feel sort of stupid as something clenched in her chest, her stomach flipping.

Beca felt hands on her shoulders from behind, thumbs pressing into the back of her neck as they squeezed. There was a tickling sensation against the skin of her arm as Chloe's hair brushed against it.

"You should come in." Chloe's breath was hot against her ear. Beca closed her eyes once more with a quiet groan, the world spinning just that much faster as heat pulsed through her. Chloe flicked her tongue against the shell of Beca's ear. "If you want to," she whispered.

* * *

 _ **A/N** : Sorry? ;)_


	26. Chapter 26

_**A/N:** Sorry for the delay on this one. Hope it's worth the wait?_

* * *

Beca's head was swimming. The wine had heightened her senses. Chloe's hair against her skin, the heat of her breath, the sound of her voice, the grip of Aubrey's hand, the feel of her eyes wandering across Beca's form, her mind was indulging all of these sensations while slowing her thoughts in an attempt to stop them altogether. Beca struggled to get ahold of herself, to fight off her id. Her mouth was dry and she swallowed hard, then opened her eyes to see Aubrey looking back at her.

"I, uh—" she stammered. Beca was mesmerized by the expression in Aubrey's eyes and watched carefully as the woman bit her bottom lip. "Okay," she heard herself whisper.

A smile spread wide across Aubrey's face as Chloe's fingers squeezed excitedly into Beca's shoulders. Aubrey pulled a key from her clutch and moved to open the door. Beca's heart raced as she was ushered inside.

"Have a seat," Aubrey said, gesturing toward the white sofa. "I'll get us some water."

Beca watched as Aubrey disappeared into the kitchen, taking in the view of her bare shoulder blades under the thin straps of her dress. Anticipation buzzed in the tips of her fingers, but nerves soon followed. Just as something akin to fear began to form, she felt herself being guided toward the couch. That's when she remembered that Chloe's hands had never left her, and there was something so very comforting about that, to Beca. She felt her muscles relax as she sat down.

But that tension quickly returned as Chloe joined her, sitting close and draping her legs across Beca's lap. Chloe reached one hand to gently pet Beca's knee as the other gripped the far side of her neck. She felt herself stiffen, anxiety getting the better of her until Chloe began placing delicate kisses just below her ear. Tension released once again as Beca closed her eyes and leaned into the feeling. Her mouth dropping open with a soft groan when Chloe's mouth pressed harder against her.

"Chloe!" Beca's eyes snapped open at Aubrey's voice calling from the kitchen, but Chloe's kisses didn't stop. "Can you give me a hand?"

When she didn't immediately make a move, Beca turned her head to look at Chloe. "Be right there," Chloe shouted back. Her blue eyes held such a deep hunger, but her smile was innocent and sweet, and the mismatch of the two was so quintessentially Chloe Beale that Beca couldn't stop her own smile.

Beca felt fingers press at the back of her head as Chloe pulled her into a long, chaste kiss. God, how she'd missed this, kissing Chloe, the feel of her lips, and the sound of her breath. Chloe pulled away too quickly, and when Beca's eyes opened a moment later, she was already standing.

"Be right back," she said with a wink, then turned and headed for the kitchen.

Beca tucked her hair behind her ears and repositioned herself on the couch. She took a deep breath and tried to relax. This was not what she had planned, but now that she was here, she found herself excited by the prospects, eager even. And, yes, she was also terrified, but Beca was fairly certain that there was no version of this where she would find herself anything other than terrified.

Besides, what was it that she was really afraid of? Having absolutely no idea what she was doing, sure – but she had already been through that with Chloe. And Chloe had never once made her feel embarrassed or ashamed, and based on her phone calls with Aubrey, Beca was pretty confident that Aubrey wouldn't either. On top of that, it's not like Chloe and Aubrey had experience with this. They had, more or less, admitted over dinner that they were just as uncertain as Beca was.

Nothing was going to stop Beca from being hesitant about the logistics, but the wine had given her the courage she required to disregard that reluctance.

What was left to be scared about? Beca felt certain that friendship wouldn't be lost if this didn't work out. Sure, there would probably be a period of awkwardness that followed, but Beca knew that if the three of them didn't remain friends, it would be because of her own doing, not Aubrey and Chloe's.

And if it _did_ work out? Well, Beca supposed that was all she really had left to fear.

Chloe and Aubrey returned to the room with three glasses of water. Chloe handed one to Beca, then sat down next to her, this time leaving several inches of space between them.

"Thanks," Beca said, before quickly gulping down half the glass.

"Thirsty?" Aubrey's voice came from across the room, where she was seated in a matching white arm chair.

Beca placed her glass on a coaster that was set on the coffee table before her. _Of course_ Aubrey Posen had coasters.

Beca shrugged. "Guess so." She heard Chloe giggle beside her and shot her a glare, but Chloe simply raised an eyebrow in response, leaning to place her glass onto a second coaster. She turned and pulled her right leg onto the sofa, knee bent and holding her ankle as she scooted an inch closer to Beca.

"Wait," Beca looked back to Aubrey, perched gracefully at the edge of her seat, legs crossed and water still in hand. "Should we talk about this?"

Beca was surprised by the anxious quality of Aubrey's voice. The woman seemed so uncharacteristically unsure of herself all of a sudden. This was an entirely different Aubrey than the one she had encountered in that hotel room in Copenhagen, the Aubrey Posen she had kissed. She wondered what had caused the shift. Her brow unconsciously furrowed.

"I just mean," Aubrey said, "We're drunk… maybe we shouldn't do this."

"Aubrey!" Beca turned toward Chloe. She looked just as dumbfounded as she sounded. She wasn't upset, nor angry, just surprised, and maybe a bit hurt. Beca looked back to Aubrey and saw the serious expression she was pointing toward Chloe.

Beca felt a bit awkward in the middle like this. She wasn't sure what she should do, or say. Perhaps it wasn't really her place to say anything for now.

Chloe released a quiet sigh. "You're right," she said, "I'm sorry." She placed a hand on Beca's thigh and stared down at it as she spoke. "I shouldn't have… I mean, _we_ shouldn't have…" She looked up, wincing a little at the words. "We want to be sure you're comfortable. We don't want to push you into anything that—"

Beca interrupted. "Wait. What?"

Her eyes flashed to Aubrey as she offered further explanation. "We don't want to make any assumptions. We know you haven't had a lot of time to consider this, _really_ consider it. And we don't want to do anything that might…" Aubrey's voice trailed off.

"Might what?" Beca's irritation was apparent. "Go ahead," she goaded, "you can say it."

"Might make you run." Aubrey's words weren't harsh, but they were definite. They cut right through Beca. She felt like she wanted to scream, but a much calmer side of herself knew the statement wasn't entirely unfair. It's all Beca had ever done, and not only just over the last two months; it's all she'd ever done since long before she even became a Barden Bella.

Beca took a deep breath and released it. "I'm not glass," she said evenly. "I'm not gonna break." There was a pause as she glanced between the two women, both sitting perfectly still, listening with full attention. "And I'm not a child. I can make my own choices." Beca turned her head to look at Chloe, whose eyes flicked up to meet hers the moment she stopped speaking. She looked apologetic, and a little sad. Beca was grateful that these two women were considering her feelings in a way that perhaps they hadn't in the past, but, looking at Chloe, she fully realized that it just wasn't necessary anymore. Beca had passed the point of no return.

She leaned in and kissed Chloe sweetly, listening to the sound of her sigh as she felt fingers grip her leg. Chloe was breathless as Beca pulled away, her eyes still shut. Beca turned to look at Aubrey, who wore a proud sort of half smile that made Beca grin. "I want this. I want you," she said carefully, not breaking eye contact with Aubrey. "I want both of you," she corrected, with a glance back at the woman beside her.

Without another word, and without leaving time for the moment to really land, Beca moved to straddle Chloe's lap, pulling her face forward with both hands into a heated kiss. Chloe's gasp made Beca smile, a sense of pride pulsing through her as she slipped her tongue into the redhead's mouth.

Chloe quickly reciprocated, and Beca heard a breathy noise come from Aubrey in the far corner of the room. The sound ignited something in the pit of Beca's stomach. Knowing that Aubrey was watching from afar, Beca's hips rolled deliberately against the woman beneath her. Chloe grasped Beca's arms, her nails digging ever so slightly into Beca's skin.

The two kissed for several long minutes before Beca heard Aubrey stir. Hands swept Beca's hair away from the left side of her neck before one found purchase atop her right shoulder, the other covering Chloe's hand against her left bicep. Aubrey's lips connected with her neck and Beca felt her center tighten at the contact. She broke the kiss for a moment, bracing herself with one hand on the back of the couch and pressing her forehead against Chloe's. She released a shaky breath and then inhaled sharply at Aubrey's unrelenting open-mouthed kisses.

Chloe's free hand moved to cup Beca's face and tug at the hair behind her right ear. Her eyes were shut, but she could feel Chloe watching her as she gave a slight hiss at the sensation. "Fuck, you're so hot," whispered Chloe. Aubrey made a nasal sound of agreement before teeth pressed into the crook of her neck.

Beca felt like she was on fire as she reached an arm back to clutch Aubrey's hair, pulling her harder against her own flesh. Chloe's hand traveled slowly down Beca's side before gripping Beca's hip to hold her in place as she pressed her own hips upward against her. Beca opened her eyes to Chloe's, their foreheads still pressed together. She watched the glint in blue eyes as she felt the hips beneath her roll once more.

Beca whimpered when Aubrey's mouth moved away, but the hand on her shoulder quickly traveled to grip the front of her throat with splayed fingers, pulling her slightly backward until Beca felt her shoulder blades connect with Aubrey's chest. Aubrey pushed forward and captured Chloe's lips in her own, mere centimeters from Beca's face. She watched with wide eyes, intoxicated by the sight.

Chloe dragged her nails from Beca's hip, sliding under the teal blouse and up Beca's stomach before palming a bra clad breast. The touch spurred Beca to crane her neck so she could nip and kiss Aubrey's jaw line. Fingers curled around her neck as Aubrey shifted further into her, the hand on her arm finally releasing Chloe's to instead grab a handful of red hair. Chloe's newly freed hand traveled to the curve of Beca's right side, pulling downward until Beca got the hint and began rhythmically rocking her hips.

Beca felt her brain momentarily short circuit. So much was happening simultaneously that it was becoming impossible to keep track of every touch, to properly register and respond to each sensation.

There came a breathy whisper from someone, a plea to move to the bedroom that not one of them could deny. Beca felt the heat from Aubrey's body leave her own as the girl stepped back. She knew she had to move next, to get off Chloe, but Beca was feeling dizzy. She needed another moment. She leaned her forehead against Chloe's collarbone, breathing metrically to steady herself.

"You okay, Becs?" asked Chloe.

Beca nodded against Chloe's shoulder. "Fine. Just need a second." Silence followed. A hand (she wasn't sure whose) slowly rubbed her upper back. After a minute, Beca lifted her head. The hand disappeared and Beca stood up. She was now facing Aubrey, who moved a hand to cup beneath the left side of Beca's jaw. Her eyes fluttered shut as her lips parted, leaning into Aubrey's touch.

"You're sure you're okay?" Aubrey asked. The concern in her voice made Beca's eyes snap open. She stared ahead at the uncertainty in Aubrey's eyes.

"Positive," Beca affirmed. She grabbed Aubrey's wrist and pulled her hand away, then stepped forward and kissed her hard, one hand gripping Aubrey's neck and the other pulling on the woman's hip until she stumbled forward, pressing flush against Beca. Aubrey released a surprised squeak that absolutely delighted Beca.

It took a moment, but Aubrey kissed her back with a vigor Beca had yet to experience from her before. The passion it ignited within her was staggering. Beca wasn't sure exactly how she'd gotten here, to this moment. How had she not realized just how badly she wanted this? How was it possible that she had so vehemently denied it from herself for _so_ long?

Beca pulled back when she felt a hand tug her own away from Aubrey's hip. Her eyes opened to Chloe, who grabbed one of Aubrey's hands as well before leading them all down the hall to the bedroom.

Chloe entered first, and immediately pulled her purple shirt up over her head and tossed it aside, revealing a black bra with white polka dots and a pink, lacey fringe, but Beca wasn't much focused on it. Instead, her eyes hungrily roamed the newly revealed skin of her shoulders and the line of her abs. Temporarily frozen in place, Aubrey stepped past her and turned her back to Chloe. Beca watched as Chloe unzipped the light blue dress. It fell in what Beca could have sworn was slow motion. Her eyes followed the dress to the floor before raking back up Aubrey's form, now clad only in simple black lace.

Beca realized then that Aubrey and Chloe had, at some point (though Beca had no idea when), removed their shoes. She looked down at her own boots, then sat on the nearby wooden desk chair to take them off. Focused on the task at hand, she didn't notice the women glide toward her, so as she set her boots aside she was surprised to find Aubrey kneeling before her. Beca stared down at her until she felt Chloe's guiding hand turning her head to look at her instead. She noticed that Chloe's pants were gone as the girl leaned down to kiss her. Beca melted into the contact. She almost didn't notice Aubrey's hands on her knees, gently spreading her legs.

Beca turned to look at Aubrey as she edged closer, filling the gap between her thighs. Aubrey's hands moved to the top of Beca's jeans. She leaned upward and Beca met her halfway. They kissed sloppily as Aubrey undid the button of her jeans and tugged down on the zipper.

Aubrey pulled away and flashed a devious grin. Beca felt Chloe's hands pulling at the shoulders of her top. She looked toward her to see a similar smile, and then without breaking eye contact raised her arms with a smirk of her own so Chloe could remove the garment.

Chloe moved quickly behind the chair as she did so, and after tossing the blouse aside she grabbed each of Beca's wrists in her hands and pulled them behind the chair. Beca gasped as Chloe held tightly, leaning down and craning her neck to place wet kisses on Beca's left cheek.

Beca had closed her eyes for a moment, but reopened them when she felt Aubrey tugging at her pants. She could feel her face flush and knew there was a painful need in her eyes as she looked down at Aubrey and lifted her hips so that her jeans and panties could be pulled away simultaneously. That same needy look was reflected back to her in Aubrey's eyes as she leaned forward and began kissing her way up Beca's inner thigh.

The look was intense, and Beca couldn't hold the gaze for longer than a few seconds. She screwed her eyes shut and let her head fall back. Chloe's mouth drifted down to her neck. The delicate kisses she left there, coupled with Aubrey now teasing her way up Beca's other thigh, was enough to drive her insane. It was all just too soft, too sweet, and too gentle. Beca needed more. She struggled against Chloe's strong hands.

"Did you see the way she was looking at you?" Chloe whispered directly into her ear. "How badly she wants you?"

Beca's brow furrowed. She tightened her lips with a whimper. Aubrey was now dragging her tongue across her skin everywhere but where Beca needed her. The sound of Chloe's voice made Beca's hips buck. She could sense the smug smile the action brought to Aubrey's face, which only served to frustrate Beca further.

"Bree, _please_ ," Beca whined.

All contact from both women suddenly stopped – except for Chloe's tight grip on her wrists. Beca inhaled sharply in surprise, her body writhing once in desperate exasperation.

"Oh, is there something you want?" Aubrey's question was light and innocent. The juxtaposition of it with the situation the trio currently found themselves in was disorienting, and altogether absolutely _killing_ Beca, who released a strangled moan in response, and once again attempted to pull her wrists from Chloe's grasp.

"Look at me, Beca." Aubrey's voice was forceful, even a little harsh. And there it was again, that feeling Beca got at hearing Aubrey pronounce her name. This time it made the room spin, and all Beca could do was whimper helplessly, her back arching, her body demanding more attention.

"I said look at me." Beca's biceps stung as they were forced against back of the chair when Chloe pulled her wrists together hard, grabbing both in one hand so she could press the other against the top of her chest, fingers wrapping around her neck.

Her eyes snapped open as she dropped her head forward to look down at the sight of Aubrey between her legs.

"Good girl," Aubrey praised. "Now," the innocent voice was back again, "what is it you want, Beca?"

Beca groaned, her eyes unconsciously shutting for just a brief moment before she reminded herself to keep them open. Her chest heaved as she breathed loudly. "I want you," she panted, "I want your mouth on me."

Aubrey smiled, and Chloe's grip on her throat loosened. "You're going to watch me," Aubrey said, a fierceness burning in her eyes. There was no question. It was a command. Beca bit her bottom lip, wanting to close her eyes again, but denying the urge. She nodded. Beca was sure it was pathetic, but at this moment she didn't care. She'd had enough. She needed this.

Aubrey's arms wrapped under Beca's legs, her hands grabbing the tops of her thighs to steady herself as she gradually leaned down. She stared directly at Beca, watching her carefully, her green eyes not flickering for a moment.

Beca saw, then felt, Aubrey's tongue press flat against her. It took everything in her to fight the instinct to close her eyes. She moaned loudly, her brows knitting as she watched Aubrey's tongue begin to move, slowly at first.

Chloe's hand drifted lower on Beca's chest, pressing firmly against her ribs. "Fuck," the redhead spat gracelessly. It was then that Beca realized that Chloe's face was right next to hers. She was witnessing this moment from just the same angle.

It was too much. Beca wanted to shut her eyes, needed to throw her head back, but she did as she was told. She controlled herself, and that was all the more arousing. Beca was already embarrassingly close as Aubrey sped up her motions, eyes darting between hers and Chloe's for a moment.

In her periphery, Beca watched Chloe's head turn. She suddenly bit hard into the nook between Beca's neck and shoulder. Beca let go a stifled scream.

Chloe dragged her tongue up Beca's neck. "You like that?" Her voice was hot, dripping with lust. Beca inhaled sharply at the sound, her brows knitting further together as she continued to look down at Aubrey. "Do you?" Chloe asked again, tugging the lobe of Beca's ear with her teeth.

Beca released the breath with a whimper, frantically nodding her head. "Yes," she panted.

Chloe slid a hand under the cup of Beca's bra, roughly pinching, then slightly twisting an already pert nipple. "Yeah?" Chloe's voice, begging the same question, the sight of the impish glint in Aubrey's eyes, the feel of her hands restrained behind her, Aubrey's rushed yet rhythmic ministrations, all of it came to head and Beca was no longer able to hold on.

"Yes," she cried, as her body began quake. She finally closed her eyes as the world went black, the sound of her moans filling the room. Aubrey's movements slowed as Beca came down. Chloe took a step back before cautiously releasing Beca's wrists.

Beca's breaths were loud as she felt herself fully regain consciousness. The room spun. Her mouth was dry. As she felt Aubrey stop altogether and move away from her, Beca let her eyes flutter open, falling once again on the blonde woman sitting on her heels before her. She was looking down at her hands, folded delicately in her own lap. She was quiet, pensive even, but when it seemed she became aware of Beca's eyes on her, Aubrey quickly looked up with a sly grin.

"You certainly are a good girl, Beca," she said, "even better than Chloe promised."

Beca shook her head. This all felt almost like a dream. She wasn't quite sure yet that this was happening. She turned her head to look at Chloe, who was smiling down at her something equal parts giddy and lascivious. Beca grinned.

When Beca turned back, Aubrey was on her knees and leaning toward her. Beca kissed her, groaning at the taste of herself on Aubrey's lips. She felt Chloe's fingers scrape up her arms, then disappear as they reached her shoulders.

Beca reached an arm around to the back of Aubrey's head, gripping a fistful of hair at the top of her neck. With a quick tug, she pulled Aubrey away and reveled in the high-pitched gasp she released.

"I'm not always such a good girl," she growled before moving to kiss and bite Aubrey's neck.

A delighted squeal came from Chloe behind her. Beca hadn't forgotten about her. After a moment, she released Aubrey, stood and walked around the chair to Chloe. She forcefully tugged the girl's hips toward her own and kissed her. Chloe's right hand tangled into her hair, and Beca felt her left slide up her thigh before settling to grope her backside. Aubrey's body pressed into Beca from behind, brushing her hair to the side before trailing kisses from the back of her shoulder to her neck.

Beca put some space between her and Chloe so she could run a hand down Chloe's chest, across her stomach, then pause for a moment as her fingers reached fabric.

Chloe broke the kiss, pressing her forehead against Beca's. "Please," she breathed. Beca smiled as she allowed her fingers to gently dance over the material. She could feel the heat radiating from the other woman, but refused to place any pressure where she knew Chloe wanted her.

"Please what?"

Beca felt a satisfied vibration from Aubrey's mouth against her shoulder blade, but a frustrated groan from Chloe overpowered the sound.

"Please touch me," Chloe begged, "fuck me. Please, Beca."

Beca yanked the panties far enough down Chloe's legs that they dropped to the floor around her ankles, and without further warning she placed two strong fingers against Chloe, with a self-satisfied smirk at the redhead's gasp. She buried her face in Chloe's neck, sucking soft flesh as she began pressing tight circles where Chloe needed her most.

It wasn't long before Chloe's breathing became erratic. Aubrey's lips grazed Beca's ear and hot words followed. "She wants you to fuck her."

Beca reacted almost instantly, moving her hand lower before skillfully pushing two fingers inside. Chloe inhaled sharply, nodding her head when it became apparent that words weren't forming. Beca pumped her fingers languorously at first. She bent her thumb to hit just right with each long, slow stroke. Chloe's nails dug into Beca's back, begging her to thrust harder, move faster. As she gradually sped up, her movements became hurried but still rhythmic, and Chloe came undone quickly with a stifled scream of Beca's name. The girl's knees buckled, but Beca wrapped a strong arm around her middle to hold her steady. As Beca felt Chloe coming down, regaining her own ability to stand, she dropped to her knees, grabbed hold of Chloe's thighs and ran her tongue through wet folds. Chloe hissed, her body momentarily recoiling from the attention.

Aubrey stepped to the side, leaning over Beca slightly to kiss Chloe. Beca listened to the sound of it with new found excitement, then felt Aubrey's hand grab a fistful of her hair to hold her in place.

"Two good girls," Aubrey purred.

Beca heard Chloe hum, and then the sounds of them kissing stopped. Aubrey's hand dropped away from the back of her head and Beca was able to turn just in time to see Chloe removing Aubrey's bra.

"Can we?" Chloe softly questioned. "Have we been good enough?"

Still on her knees, Beca watched as something bright flared in Aubrey's eyes. They closed and her head rolled back, her mouth dropping open with a breathy moan of approval. Aubrey was finally ready to give in. Beca was pretty sure she had never seen something quite so sexy before. She felt a fire rise within her, a ferocity she wasn't altogether familiar with. It brought her quickly to her feet, and forced her hand to grab the side of Aubrey's neck.

"Lay down," she heard herself growl.

Aubrey obliged, and Beca followed her, crawling up the bed as Chloe moved to remove the blonde's panties. The intensity in Aubrey's eyes further incited something wild and untamable in Beca. She leaned down and kissed her madly, biting and tugging on the woman's lower lip, enjoying every weak, appreciative sound.

Beca nipped at Aubrey's jawline, then at her neck, before biting hard into her collarbone. Aubrey hissed, her chest rising, and stretched an arm to run a finger through Beca's folds.

"Still so wet," she cooed. "You like to please me, don't you, Beca?"

Beca's hips twisted instinctively as Aubrey's finger reached her most sensitive point, then was joined by another, together tracing wide, languid circles against her. Beca yelped, unsure of exactly what she herself needed, but knowing with certainty that she didn't want to deny Aubrey anything. She moved to suck on Aubrey's left nipple and was rewarded with the thrust of two fingers inside her. She flicked her tongue with a groan, then bit down and tugged as her eyes opened and fell upon Chloe, kneeling at the edge of the bed, face buried between Aubrey's thighs.

The sight made her dizzy. She released Aubrey's breast and grabbed her free hand, threading their fingers together as she pinned it against the bed to the side of the woman's head.

Beca's face was centimeters from Aubrey's. She could feel the girl's pants, now heavy and inconsistent. Beca was amazed by the focused look in Aubrey's eyes, by the way Aubrey was able to hold her gaze with steely resolve despite the arousal that was so obviously overwhelming her. Beca wondered if anyone had ever gotten the blonde to show her weakness, had ever reduced her to begging. The silent challenge of it thrilled Beca, made her feel determined to see it someday.

"I need to taste you too," Beca breathed.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah," she insisted, then assertively slid her tongue into Aubrey's mouth. She pulled back, staring down into green eyes, and spoke with a level of confidence that surprised even herself. "I know you want it."

Aubrey's eyes didn't waver. She gave a smug smile and called for Chloe, only breaking eye contact to look at Chloe once the woman had fully joined them. "Sit on my face."

Chloe began to move, immediately obeying, and Beca made her way to the end of the bed.

"No." Beca looked up at the sound of Aubrey's voice as she settled between her legs. "Facing Beca," Aubrey commanded.

Beca smirked as she watched Chloe correct her position. She leaned forward, eyes open and still on Chloe. She wrapped one arm under Aubrey's thigh, and allowed the other to travel between her own legs.

Her heart pounded in her chest. Chloe was staring back at her, brow furrowed, as she writhed against Aubrey. Beca saw the fire in Chloe's eyes grow stronger, her willpower growing weaker. Beca's own climax began to build once more, fueled by the taste of Aubrey, by the moans Chloe could no longer contain, by the sight of her straddled across Aubrey's face, grinding down hard, and by the quickening strokes of her own fingers.

It was Chloe who went first, with a choked scream as her eyelids finally screwed shut. And it was the sound of it that finally pushed Beca over the edge. Her body trembled as she lost control, but the desperate pressing of Aubrey's hips forced her to realize that the movements of her tongue and lips had become frustratingly erratic for Aubrey. The blonde was close and she needed Beca to keep it together just a moment longer.

And somehow Beca was able to do just that. She focused her tongue's attentions. She moved the hand between her legs up and pressed, then curled, two fingers as deep as she could. The garbled sound released from Aubrey's throat was enough to let her know she was back on track. She vibrated her fingers with short thrusts. When Aubrey's hips rose to a peak, she bit gently and listened to the gratified cry that rang out as Aubrey finally climaxed.

She looked up to see Aubrey looking directly at her. Chloe had moved to the side. She had Aubrey's right nipple in her mouth, her left hand reaching up to grip the base of Aubrey's throat. Aubrey's hips collapsed back onto the bed and Beca couldn't stop herself from grinning up at the girl as she allowed her head to fall onto the pillow, her chest heaving and her breaths vulgar.

Chloe turned to smile at Beca, and gestured for her to join them on the bed. Beca watched Chloe curl into Aubrey's side, resting her head on Aubrey's right shoulder. Beca crept up the bed, placing a kiss on Chloe's forehead before snuggling into Aubrey's other side, draping an arm over the woman's hips and allowing it to find purchase against Chloe's skin. She nuzzled her face into Aubrey's neck, and felt Aubrey's arm wrap around her, fingers gently tracing shapes against the skin of her back as her own breathing regulated.

Beca knew she would need time to process all of this tomorrow, but at that very moment she couldn't bring herself to care at all. Instead, she indulged the quiet joy. Muscles weak and head still slightly spinning, Beca released a contented sigh and drifted almost instantly to sleep.


	27. Chapter 27

_**A/N**_ _: Welp, it's been 483 days since I last updated this story. But against all odds, here I am. A lot has happened in those 483 days, but I am learning to make time to write again. I am absolutely committed to finishing this fic by the end of 2018. So, if anyone is still with me... *deep breath* here it goes._

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Beca's nose twitched at the tickle of Aubrey's hair. She sleepily swiped it away and began to fall back asleep when her brain finally caught up with her and she startled awake. Chloe's curls were the first thing Beca saw but as her vision adjusted, she quickly noted the bare skin of Aubrey's chest. Beca's brain suddenly registered where she was, who she was with, and what they had done. Her breath hitched as something resembling fear began to grip her, but the feeling quickly dissipated when her eyes fell on Chloe's slumbering face. She looked so peaceful and it calmed Beca almost instantly. Much to her own surprise, Beca Mitchell wasn't freaking out.

At least, she wasn't freaking out until she turned her head to get a glimpse of the glowing alarm clock on the nightstand. _3:47am_. She had to get home. If she wasn't back by the time her dad woke up, she was pretty sure he'd call in the National Guard.

Beca disentangled herself from Aubrey and slid out of bed. She had left her phone in her purse, which was left behind somewhere in Chloe and Aubrey's living room. With no covert way to light up the room, she did her best to recall exactly where she had lost each article of clothing, shuffling her feet along the floor to feel for them. She did her best to stay quiet. The last thing she wanted was to have to confront Aubrey or Chloe as she tried to leave surreptitiously.

Once she had retrieved all of her clothes, she exited the bedroom and dressed in the bathroom. Beca caught a look at herself in the mirror, noting that despite her fatigue and the brewing hangover, she looked strangely satisfied. She looked down at the tile, a smile tugging at the corner of her mouth as her heart fluttered ever so slightly. Beca felt happy, and while that fact was certainly not anticipated, she allowed herself a moment to indulge in it.

She walked to the living room and grabbed her purse from the floor beside the couch. She pulled out her phone and quickly called an Uber to take her home. The car wouldn't arrive for another 7 minutes, according to the app, so she took a seat on the couch and began mindlessly scrolling through her Facebook feed.

It occurred to her then that perhaps she should leave a note behind. She didn't want her friends to worry. She opened a group text to Chloe and Aubrey but found herself just staring at the blinking cursor. What was she supposed to say? What were the right words for this situation? She wanted to convey some sentiment, some hint to them that she wasn't sneaking out in order to avoid them but she also didn't want to sound too excited or eager. While she wasn't freaking out, she was definitely going to need a moment to process what had happened and what it meant. It was good not to feel panicked, but it wasn't as though sex had somehow suddenly rid Beca of all her own personal insecurity and confusion. Beca felt better about the situation, sure, but she hadn't suddenly forgiven the lies and the manipulation. She hadn't forgotten how betrayed she felt back in Copenhagen. And while it may have been a little more clear to Beca just exactly how she felt - or, at the very least, what she discovered she so thoroughly _enjoyed_ \- Beca still did not feel confident that she knew what she wanted.

Before she had a chance to type anything at all, Beca's Uber driver arrived. She closed the text window, grabbed her purse from the floor and headed for the front door. As her hand gripped the knob, she heard a quiet voice call her name from the hallway behind her. Beca turned to see Aubrey brushing blonde hair off her forehead. Aubrey had quickly dressed in a pair of boxer shorts and a tank top, for which Beca was infinitely grateful. She wasn't prepared to be standing before a naked Aubrey in this moment - although the blonde's lacking bra didn't go unnoticed.

"Where are you going?" Aubrey asked softly.

Beca swallowed hard as her eyes lingered a moment too long on Aubrey's chest. "It's not what it looks like," she replied, surprised by her own defensiveness. Aubrey folded her arms and raised her shoulders slightly, less than subtly signaling that she required some explanation. "It's just… my dad…" Beca's voice trailed off. "I have to get home."

Aubrey stepped forward. "I understand," she said, her tone even and her voice calm. She moved closer to Beca, placing a hand on Beca's upper arm, then leaned in and kissed Beca's left cheek. Beca stared directly into Aubrey's eyes as the blonde pulled back. She was standing so close that Beca swore she could feel the heat radiating from Aubrey's body. "Can we call you?" she asked sincerely.

Beca felt her heart jump. She looked down to the floor for just a moment as her face flushed, and then she looked back at Aubrey's blue eyes. "I'd like that." Aubrey smiled, and it must have been contagious because Beca couldn't stop the toothy grin that spread across her own face. And with that, she turned and left, unable to stop smiling the whole trip home.

* * *

The next morning was a strange one. Before she even got out of bed, Beca rolled over and retrieved her phone from the night stand. Her breath caught for a moment when she saw that she had a text message from Chloe. Her brain, still fuzzy from sleep, suddenly whirred to life. She couldn't deny the excitement she felt, nor the warmth that flooded her chest, and yet the more logical, rational side of herself was still screaming "what the fuck is going on?!" just as it had been since that night at camp, from the moment she overheard Aubrey and Chloe's conversation outside the tent.

She had really enjoyed herself last night. She knew that, and she refused to lie to herself about it. Something was still holding her back, though. She couldn't be all in on this. How could she be? It was crazy. What had happened was _insane_ ; what _was_ happening was insane. Beca could barely entertain the idea of having a relationship with one woman, and she certainly couldn't entertain the idea of a relationship with two people at all - let alone two women - regardless of whatever the arrangement might be.

And yet, as she opened Chloe's text, her heart skipped a beat. Her mouth went dry and she felt like she couldn't breathe.

 _I had a great time last night. We both did. ) Missed you this morning, though… :(_

Beca wasn't stupid. She knew what it meant, the way her body reacted to just the sight of a simple text message. But she was not prepared to deal with it. Not yet anyway.

Beca rolled out of bed and shuffled her way to the bathroom. She'd respond to Chloe's text later. Right now she needed a shower.

As the hot water poured over her, she fixated on how she might best reply to the text message. She wasn't sure what she should say about why she had left. It wasn't that what she had told Aubrey was untrue, her father would definitely have freaked out if he noticed she hadn't come home the night before, but that wasn't the whole truth. The truth was that last night had really affirmed for Beca that this was something she thought she wanted - to be with Aubrey and Chloe. The problem was she still didn't know how to do that.

Beca was inept at best when it came to the rules of engagement for even the most normative relationship. One need only ask Jesse about that. And if she couldn't figure out how to exist in a "normal" relationship with one person of the opposite sex, how was she ever to know how to act in a relationship - or arrangement (Beca didn't even know the right words to describe this thing!) - with two people of the same sex. Considering it at all still seemed so obviously ludicrous to Beca.

By noon, Beca had still not replied to Chloe's text message. Instead, she texted Stacie.

 _ **Hey, can you talk?**_

Stacie's response was almost instantaneous. _Give me 5. I'll call you._

Beca closed the door to her bedroom before returning to her bed. She laid flat on her stomach, her upper body propped up by her elbows. As she waited for the phone to ring, she contemplated what exactly she would tell Stacie. She didn't want to share any details. She just needed to know what to do now.

"You're overthinking this," were the first words out of Stacie's mouth. Beca had explained that she'd been on a date with Aubrey and Chloe - she didn't mention that they had sex, or that she had snuck out in the middle of the night.

"In my defense," countered Beca, "how could I not be? I mean, this situation has no script. I don't know how this is supposed to work, or how I should act, or what this should be."

"That's always your problem, Beca. You spend too much time worrying about how things should be instead of realizing that things can be whatever you want them to be, however you want them to be. Have you ever considered that maybe the reason more traditional relationships - like the one you had with Jesse - are so difficult for you is because you aren't meant for one? Maybe _this_ is what you're meant for."

Beca was speechless. Of course she hadn't considered that. Why would she have?

"There's no right answer here, dude. Look, Aubrey and Chloe know you better than just about anyone. They like _you_. They aren't expecting you to do, or say, or be anything other than that. You've got to recognize that and quit worrying about what you should do. Focus on the things you want to do, or say, and do and say those things. It's really that simple."

Beca loudly sighed into the phone. "So 'be myself?' _That's_ your suggestion?!" she spat sardonically. She couldn't believe this was the advice she was getting, cheap platitudes.

Stacie's voice shifted then. She wasn't mean, but she was stern. It was clear that she was done with Beca's persistent obstinance. "Listen, _you_ called _me_ for advice and that's the advice I'm giving. Keep communicating with them. Be open. Be honest. Be real. Be you. Things will get easier."

Stacie paused, and Beca said nothing. She was taken aback by Stacie's harsh tone. It was unusual for Stacie to speak to her that way. Beca understood her friend's impatience, though. Beca was even becoming impatient with herself. She was being stubborn, and she was being unreasonable. She'd spent too many months over analyzing this thing instead of just living her life, seeing where things took her, and trusting her own instincts. It was long past time for Beca to realize what she wanted, what made her happy, and to follow that wherever it might lead her.

"You know I'm right," insisted Stacie, finally breaking the silence.

Beca conceded. "Yeah, Stacie. I do."

* * *

At 3pm, Beca finally worked up the courage to text Chloe. She could hear Stacie's words in her head imploring her to be honest and mulled over her choice of words for only a short moment. She took a deep breath and pressed send.

 _ **I had fun, too. :) Sorry I couldn't stay… I missed you this morning, too.**_

Beca put the phone down with a loud exhale. It felt good to be honest about what she was feeling. She was still scared, of course. Terrified, even… but there was a peace that came with knowing she'd told the truth and put all of her cards on the table.

Her phone buzzed seconds later. Beca picked it up and swiped open the text message from Chloe.

 _:) Good. We should get together again soon._

Beca smiled and immediately texted back.

 _ **Definitely**_


	28. Chapter 28

_**A/N:** Man, making time for this writing thing is difficult. I'm sorry it's taken so long to get this chapter out there. When I originally started writing this story again, I wanted to completely finish it before posting anything. Instead, I settled for being one chapter ahead... but I hate to make you guys wait even longer for content just because I'm still working on chapter 29... So here it is. Hopefully more soon. Your support and words of encouragement mean the world to me._

* * *

The next day at Residual Heat, Beca was distracted. Who could blame her? She kept having flashes of the night she spent with Aubrey and Chloe. The way they looked, smelled, god, sounded together, the thoughts couldn't be controlled. But it was mostly the memory of how she felt when she was with them that was plaguing her. Beca couldn't remember a time when she had ever felt happier - maybe the first time the Bellas had won the ICCAs. But no, this joy was somehow centered more in her body. She felt it on her skin, and in her stomach, in the airy free feeling of her chest, and the looseness of her joints.

In a way, Beca had felt more comfortable with herself that night than she ever had before. And it was strange - so fucking strange - because shouldn't she have felt unsure? Confused? Scared even? But she hadn't. A little hesitant sure, but not for long. Her inhibitions had fallen away like never before, and she had felt calm and warm and whole and happy.

Beca Mitchell wanted that feeling back, and she wanted it to last forever. Having just one small dose of it wasn't enough. She needed more.

It wasn't until Beca got home later that day that she finally worked up the courage to text Aubrey and Chloe. She took a deep breath to center herself as she opened a group text window.

 _ **Hey. When can we get together again? I'm free this weekend…**_

 _This weekend?_ Chloe's response was almost instantaneous and Beca was crafting her reply when a text from Aubrey came in a few moments later.

 _I'd like to see you sooner than that, if possible._

Again, Chloe was quick to reply. _Yeah, like yesterday… ;)_

Beca's heart thumped so loudly in her chest that she could feel it in her extremities. She was so flattered by Chloe and Aubrey's fierce interest in her. While this was a new feeling for Beca, she recognized that this was likely a long standing truth for her former captains. It made her feel wanted. It made her feel special, but though the feeling was a good one, she couldn't help but feel embarrassed by it. And that shame made her struggle to find the right words to respond.

She decided to remain practical. Aubrey and Chloe may have found it easy to express their feelings, but Beca was still Beca after all. _**I get off early on Wednesdays…**_

Beca regretted her choice of words almost immediately, and of course Chloe took advantage of the innuendo. _Do you now? ;)_

Beca's face flushed as a second text came in from Chloe. _I think we can make that happen ;)_

Internally, Beca scolded herself for making it that easy. And yet, she recognized the thrill of it. Her heart was racing. She couldn't deny that her subconscious may have been asking for it.

 _Wednesday it is :)_ Aubrey replied matter of factly. Beca appreciated the no-nonsense approach. She smiled down at her phone, happy that she'd soon have another date with these two remarkable women.

* * *

On Tuesday, reality began to set in for Beca. She began to acknowledge the fact that the happy, comfortable feeling she felt while with Chloe and Aubrey really meant something. It had implications, and those implications were terrifying, if Beca was being honest. She no longer felt the same blind excitement for their upcoming date. She was still looking forward to it, but the few days she spent apart from them had gifted her a level headedness that had been completely lost on Saturday night.

Beca wasn't sure exactly what, but she needed something more out of their date the next day. She needed a plan; she needed facts; she needed more clarity; she needed to know what this thing was going to look like so she could decide for herself if it was something she wanted to pursue or not.

Beca wanted to continue the conversation they had begun on their first date. She wanted Aubrey and Chloe's cards on the table. The problem was that she knew she'd have to offer her own first. She remembered Stacie's words and tried her best to figure out what exactly it was that she wanted to do, or wanted to say to Chloe and Aubrey, but it was a lot more difficult than Stacie made it sound. Beca hadn't spent much time in her life interrogating her own needs and desires. If she had, it wouldn't have come as such a shock to her that she was attracted to two friends of hers who, at this point, she'd known for four years. There was something kind of pathetic about that, that she hadn't realized this sooner. And yet, it's not like Chloe or Aubrey had brought it up any sooner either. Perhaps they were all idiots. Or perhaps this was something that developed over time. Or, Beca also considered, perhaps this was something fleeting. This thing might not be little more than an experiment, and not just for Aubrey and Chloe, but for Beca too.

And maybe that thought should have been scary - an acknowledgement of the rejection that could be coming - but it was actually sort of a freeing thought to Beca. She didn't have to figure out what she wanted from this a year from now. All she had to know was what she wanted right now. And what she wanted right now was to see Aubrey and Chloe again - and tomorrow, that wish would be granted.

* * *

No one had ever cooked Beca Mitchell dinner before. Even growing up, the Mitchell family had survived mostly on take-out. As silly as it was, when Beca had received the text from Chloe that morning asking what time Beca thought she'd get to their apartment so she could figure out when to start cooking, Beca was flattered. It made her feel special, like Chloe and Aubrey wanted to show her how much they cared for her. Beca had always thought there was something vulnerable in allowing someone to take care of you and so it was the kind of thing she had always rejected outright as stupid, and even patronizing. But this particular offer made her body feel warm. It forced her to recognize the tender kindness that came with cooking someone a meal. The fact that Chloe was an incredible cook was really just a bonus.

Time had moved so quickly from the moment Beca had arrived at their apartment. They had already finished dinner though were still seated at the table, sipping wine and continuing to chat about a million silly, unimportant things. So, as Chloe finished refilling Beca's glass, she finally brought up the conversation she thought they needed to have.

"So, can we, like… talk about this?" Beca swirled the wine before taking a sip, and as she did she noted the distinctive spin in her head, not unlike the one in her glass. She set the glass down on the table. Perhaps she shouldn't have any more wine.

"Talk about what?" Chloe asked in that innocent voice of hers, the one Beca had learned to see right through long ago. Beca gave a knowing tilt of her head, and looked sternly at Chloe.

"Of course we can," Beca's eyes instinctively flicked to Aubrey's. She watched as the blonde woman swallowed the last bit of her wine before delicately placing her glass on the table. "What is it you want to talk about, Beca?"

And there it was again, the zing right to her core at the sound of her name coming from Aubrey's mouth. Beca swore she'd one day be immune to its effects, but today was not that day.

"I just… Saturday…" but Beca failed to finish her thought, or even start it. Her body felt warm from the wine, and her head dizzy. She wanted to be articulate, but arousal was slowly overtaking her as she stared at Aubrey's glossed lips.

"What about Saturday?" Aubrey's tone was unaffected. She was her usual, straight forward self. Not one hint of tipsy, despite the three glasses of wine Beca had watched her consume. Aubrey was as put together as ever, and Beca couldn't help but envy her poise and her confidence. She'd never admit it, but there was a thing or two Beca could stand to learn from Aubrey Posen.

"I, uh… it felt…" stammered Beca. She could feel her face flushing, embarrassed by her inability to speak. This was the part she was dreading, the part where she had to offer some of her own truth so she could in turn hopefully hear Aubrey's and Chloe's. It was a vulnerable move to make, and Beca hated it. She closed her eyes for a moment and took a deep breath, reclaiming her grasp on reality. When she opened her eyes and spoke again, her words were crystal clear. Beca spoke with a deliberate confidence that would make Aubrey proud. "It felt really good to be with you guys - and not just in the obvious way. It feels good to be here with you right now. And I don't know what this is - or will be - but I want more of this feeling." Beca paused momentarily. She looked at Aubrey, and then at Chloe. They were both so intently focused on her. Beca saw a smile slowly creeping across Chloe's face and she could feel the tug in her own chest. She looked down at the table for a brief second, beginning to feel self-conscious. "It's just… intoxicating," breathed Beca, before flicking her eyes back to Aubrey's once more.

There was a moment of silence where no one spoke, or moved, or even seemed to breathe. "Wow," said Chloe, seeming genuinely affected by Beca's words. Aubrey reached across the table and took Beca's left hand before offering her other hand to Chloe.

"I feel the same," Aubrey stated. It wasn't sentimental, just simply a statement of fact, but the shine in Aubrey's eyes told Beca how much it meant to her.

"Me too." Beca turned her head at the sound of Chloe's voice, heavy with emotion, opposite to Aubrey's in every way. Chloe's free hand was pressed against her chest as she nodded.

A smile began to form on Beca's face as her chest warmed, but ever the emotionally inept imbecile, she quickly shook it off. "Alright, alright," she countered, pulling her hand out of Aubrey's grasp. "This doesn't have to be, like, a whole thing." She paused, and when she spoke again her words were thoughtful and sincere. "I just needed to know where we were all at. I'm trying to accept that it's okay to not know exactly where this is going - or what the fuck is even happening at all." Beca sighed. "This isn't easy for me."

Beca watched as Aubrey nodded. It was empathetic, an acknowledgement of Beca's plight, but Beca noticed something else in her eyes, and in her soft smile. There was a crack in the armor, and Beca could see that Aubrey was feeling exactly the same way. She saw a hint of truth in that moment, that Aubrey wasn't the manipulative mastermind that Beca once feared she was. No, she was a woman just as conflicted about this whole thing, who was trying to make sense of her own thoughts, feelings, and desires. Aubrey's exuberant confidence was, at least in this instance, nothing more than a facade.

And as Chloe began to speak, Beca realized what else she and Aubrey had in common: an incredibly self-aware, honest, loving, and kind friend who was exhaustive in her own personal quest for happiness and fulfilment, and who wanted nothing more than for the people she cared for to come to terms with exactly who they were and what they wanted. "But it's easy being together… isn't it?" asked Chloe. "I mean, isn't that all that really matters? How we feel when we're together?"

Aubrey and Beca were both left speechless by the question. Beca knew that Chloe was right, but the concept was so foreign to her that her brain could barely process it. Overthinking things was the only mode of operation Beca had ever known. She didn't know how to be present, to just enjoy the moment and not think about what might come next.

"I know you're right, Chlo," Aubrey answered. "But I understand Beca's need to know what this means for all of us, or what the future might look like." Aubrey looked toward Beca. "Listen, I get that it's not easy. None of this has been easy - for any of us. It's like we've asked you to sign up for something that we don't even know what is. I know exactly what you're feeling right now. I promise. But what we're asking you - hell, what I'm asking myself - is just to trust us. To trust this," Aubrey gestured to the space between the three of them. "You said it yourself. This," she emphasized, repeating the gesture, "feels good. So let's continue to be open and honest, and let's just see where this goes."

The speech was eloquent, and Beca couldn't argue with it. What Aubrey said was totally reasonable. It made sense, and knowing that Aubrey was also struggling came as quite a relief. It leveled the playing field between them. Long gone were the feelings of resentment Beca had over being manipulated by Chloe and Aubrey. She no longer felt like a pawn in their game. She was an equal partner in the future they'd build together.

"Yeah," Beca said. "I can do that."

"Great," Chloe said after a moment of silence. She grinned. "So… who wants dessert?"


End file.
